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He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: - Romance - Nairaland

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Her Husband Treats Her Badly And She's So Beautiful... / She's Hurting Me, Advice Please! / My Relationship Is Hurting Me. (2) (3) (4)

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He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by sussu: 11:33am On Sep 08, 2009
i met ma boyfried early dis year in the most unlikely of circumstances. he's pretty nice and cute. i grew to like him and subsequently fell in love with him utterly to ma surprise. we both live in distant towns.as time went on, though he is based in Lagos, he visits town often but most times leaves without seeing me with good excuses to back up his actions which gets me really pissed off and make me feel like a bug 2 him- a feeling i detest. whenever i make a complaint, he apologises with so much vigour but in no time he goes back doing same thing. d few times we spend together is spent apologising 4 mistakes and stuff like that. we r better friends on d fone than in reality.
d last time he came around, he got around doing stuff nd hanging out with friends, finally saw me 4 abt 10mins, i was angry, now he is not picking ma calls, ignoring me and d like.maybe it's time to lay this relationship off.
i feel a guy who is not eager to be with u at all time, maybe doesnt really like you and it seems 2 me that im trying too hard or am i simply jealous?
i cant understand because im tired of d stories and want to tell him off,
wat is ur honest opinion?
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Nobody: 11:54am On Sep 08, 2009
My Dear, he is not just into you. A guy that likes you will want to call you and be around you. Accept the fact and move on
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by yme1(f): 12:00pm On Sep 08, 2009
aisha2:

My Dear, he is not just into you. A guy that likes you will want to call you and be around you. Accept the fact and move on
Well said
that is why it is wrong to fall in love totally wink
i think the reason why he is acting like this is because you showed him you care too much
just play along dear, dump him before he does that to you cause he is no longer into you
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Tudor6(f): 12:04pm On Sep 08, 2009
Na wa oo. . . . do you expect your boyfriend to pack his stuff and camp on your forehead?
Give him space abeg.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by yme1(f): 12:08pm On Sep 08, 2009
Tudór:

Na wa oo. . . . do you expect your boyfriend to pack his stuff and camp on your forehead?
Give him space abeg.
come on
lets face it the guy is not into her
she is not asking him for too much you know
just a little of his time
the guy prefers hanging out with his frds for a long time and then spends just 10mins with her
and this is a girl you dont see always shocked
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Tudor6(f): 12:36pm On Sep 08, 2009
You have a point though but some guys aren't that particulate about seeing you all the time. The boyfriend might have important business to discuss with the friends and it does not in anyway subvert his feelings towards her.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by izeek(m): 12:39pm On Sep 08, 2009
the writting has been on the wall long enough.
i think its time u moved on and let him do same.
u are better of friends like u said, than lovers.

y.me. i dey hail. i said lets holla. am on yim isaacanyia@yahoo.com
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by shayhe: 12:49pm On Sep 08, 2009
Baby i think u should just pray about it to know if he's the right man for you and if he's not, i pray God will provide Mr Right for you.   TAKECARE.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by CrazyMan(m): 12:57pm On Sep 08, 2009
My dear you should know that distant relationships don’t work; this guy isn’t interested in you; that once fact you just have to admit.

I know it might be painful but you just have to admit it.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by yme1(f): 12:59pm On Sep 08, 2009
Tudór:

You have a point though but some guys aren't that particulate about seeing you all the time. The boyfriend might have important business to discuss with the friends and it does not in anyway subvert his feelings towards her.
business or no business
if the guy loves her he wont portray such attitude dear
but i get your point tho

izeek:

the writting has been on the wall long enough.
i think its time u moved on and let him do same.
u are better of friends like u said, than lovers.

y.me. i dey hail. i said lets holla. am on yim isaacanyia@yahoo.com
i added you dear
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by frank317: 1:31pm On Sep 08, 2009
you are making ur love a burden for him and he obviously does not have the strenght to carry it.

give him a break and stop investing so much of ur emotions in this relationship. distance urself a little allow him to do what he wants
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by ThoniaSlim(f): 1:45pm On Sep 08, 2009
Wait did you just call it a relationship. . .cus me don't think so!  

You've got to know when a man ain't into you. . .and let him go. . .clearly he ain't feeling you. . .cus if a man loves a woman. . .he would go out of his way to please her!
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by ndumart: 1:50pm On Sep 08, 2009
He dosnt call means u are not worth his time.
He dosnt see u often means the same thing.
His actions have clearly shown that he has other important things on his mind.
I would advise that you just move on with your life.
If he feels he needs you, he would come back to u.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by yme1(f): 1:56pm On Sep 08, 2009
ndumart:

He dosnt call means u are not worth his time.
He dosnt see u often means the same thing.
His actions have clearly shown that he has other important things on his mind.
I would advise that you just move on with your life.
If he feels he needs you, he would come back to u.
i cannot but agree
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Tudor6(f): 2:15pm On Sep 08, 2009
ThoniaSlim:

Wait did you just call it a relationship. . .cus me don't think so!  

You've got to know when a man ain't into you. . .and let him go. . .clearly he ain't feeling you. . .cus if a man loves a woman. . .he would go out of his way to please her!
So if I don't lose an arm and leg as well as beheading my mum for my girl then I don't love her, right?

Why don't the girl go out of her way to please the guy instead of the other way round?
Infact expecting one to go out of their way to please you in a relationship is SELFISHNESS and not love.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by ThoniaSlim(f): 2:20pm On Sep 08, 2009
Tudór:

So if I don't lose an arm and leg as well as beheading my mum for my girl then I don't love her, right?

Why don't the girl go out of her way to please the guy instead of the other way round?
Infact expecting one to go out of their way to please you in a relationship is SELFISHNESS and not love.



Mr Tudor, My Opinion. . .whether you agree with it or not. . .makes no difference to me.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by izeek(m): 2:25pm On Sep 08, 2009
tudor,
what she is saqying is there are certain amount of responsibility that is expected from some1 who claims to care abt u.
and with what @post here just stated is far from expectation.
no fighting pls.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by follypimpi(m): 2:33pm On Sep 08, 2009
The dude see's u as a Burden,he enjoy his freedom,he doesnt want relationship but a nookie lipsrsealed
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by ThoniaSlim(f): 3:10pm On Sep 08, 2009
izeek:

tudor,
what she is saqying is there are certain amount of responsibility that is expected from some1 who claims to care abt u.
and with what @post here just stated is far from expectation.

no fighting pls.

I'm not fighting. . .just the manner he made his statement was rude. . .

The highlighted part was what I meant. . .If the man loved her at least he would try as much as possible to see her frequently especially since he visits her location frequently. . .
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Nobody: 3:12pm On Sep 08, 2009
Girl just leave him, delete his number while you are at it. He clearly doesnt like you that much. embarassed
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by mados4u: 3:28pm On Sep 08, 2009
do worry my dear, soon iwill give the web site,where u will get caring and loving frnd
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by izeek(m): 4:02pm On Sep 08, 2009
like the website wud visit her when she needs comforting!
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by whitelexi(m): 4:11pm On Sep 08, 2009
Girl, i honestly think u nag, and u may not see it that way but it is clear from your initial post.
I used to have a gf just like u, only difference was that our calls were also spent apologising and explaining stuff.
Some girls have this impression of a relationship that says it should take up all your time, energy, resources and thoughts - it is clearly not so and was not designed to be so. . . Such relationships are born out of mad attraction and die of ennui!

Give a brother some space, and try not to query about everything, above all, dont ever, ever, ever, ever try to take up his time with homies angry
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by izeek(m): 4:28pm On Sep 08, 2009
whitelexi, it strikes me like u have seen all shades of relationships.
the good, bad and ugly.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by whitelexi(m): 4:29pm On Sep 08, 2009
izeek:

whitelexi, it strikes me like u have seen all shades of relationships.
the good, bad and ugly.

Even when i dont intend to see, i still end up seeing grin grin grin
Bros, sometimes, i think its a curse grin
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by izeek(m): 4:35pm On Sep 08, 2009
bros, mfm dey hold service 1st sat of every month.
come we will pray for u and u will be delivered. lol
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by chic2pimp(m): 6:58pm On Sep 08, 2009
Tudór:

Na wa oo. . . . do you expect your boyfriend to pack his stuff and camp on your forehead?
Give him space abeg.
grin grin grin ABI OOOO. She wan suffocate the bobo.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Tudor6(f): 9:21pm On Sep 08, 2009
ThoniaSlim:

I'm not fighting. . .just the manner he made his statement was rude. . .

The highlighted part was what I meant. . .If the man loved her at least he would try as much as possible to see her frequently especially since he visits her location frequently. . .
I'm not fighting either and sorry if my statement came across as rude it wasn't intentional.
The point I tried to make was expecting a lover to go out of their way to please you is IMO selfish and unfair. . .se fini.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Yumi(f): 9:52pm On Sep 08, 2009
Dear

It sounds like you are a lot more mature than he is. You sound more ready for a serious relationship than he does. So you the best thing is you move on. Tell him you care about him but you are not getting what you need from the relationship. Don't waste your time as another man will give you what you are looking for and make himself ready for you. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone you can't make them grow up or love you more. Once you have given him some chances and spoken to him a few times he has had an opportunity to change and obviously doesn't want to or doesn't love you enough to respect and look after you.

When people die they write on their coffin what a great husband and father they were they don't write what a great friend or drinker or person to hang out with. Cause that is not important stuff. You can lose your job, your house, all your money but you can't lose the love of a good woman or man and its truly irreplacable. If he hasn't realised that he might not be very intelligent and/or mature. Guys should really stop all that clubbing guy friend phase at about 25 and start having serious relationships. Unfortunately most men don't realise that till they in their 30's and 40's when they start to look odd hanging out in bars/restaraunts and toasting strange women still who play them out coz they are old men that should be home with their wives.

I know it will be hard but its better you let him know and move on. If he really loves you he will let you know, won't let you go or will come and put it all right. Don't stay friends either he doesnt deserve your friendship and he can't have the companionship and not give you the relationship you need. A clean break will be better for you, otherwise he will just use you and waste your time.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by eyonigger(m): 9:55pm On Sep 08, 2009
I think poster is just like my gurl, even though we stay not too far from each other, she wants me to spend the whole day, energy, emotion and all that on her, which I cannot just take. I wish I could have acted like your bf, maybe she would have left me, because now "cannot go" is the word I can use for this girl oooo.

Poster, do a deep research of urself towards him, u nag too much right? It disgusts guys truly, your game aint well played.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by MUZBO(m): 10:02pm On Sep 08, 2009
@poster, there is more to your story than you posted. For example, what was the unusual circumstance through which you met him? Was he dating someone else then? How far apart do you live? If you met him @ a bar half drunk with his friends 10mins after he'd slapped his gf then I'm sure you shouldn't be too suprised now.
Re: He's Hurting Me Badly And Still Cant Understand: by Yumi(f): 10:08pm On Sep 08, 2009
please also remember this motto 'love is patient, love is kind, love is tolerant, but love is not stupid!!!!!' it will help you discern when someone is using you and taking you for granted.

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