halfricanadian:
If they aint fetish or wicked

I can allow them to stay for as long as dey want

My husband family is my own family too no

Difference

So you own side of the family can come and stay with you even if they are fetish and wicked.
Isn't this the same double standard the OP kicked against. Your mind is already poisoned against them and anything they do will appear to your poisoned mind as fetish and wicked. Just know that your husband is one of the fetish and wicked family.

numericalguy:


So you own side of the family can come and stay with you even if they are fetish and wicked.
Isn't this the same double standard the OP kicked against. Your mind is already poisoned against them and anything they do will appear to your poisoned mind as fetish and wicked. Just know that your husband is one of the fetish and wicked family.

reasons i will nt have such as my husband

Most times, a man's siblings/family come with much sense of entitlement . The " my brother 's house " factor, they forget that boundaries are very important so they don't encroach on their marital life. The woman's family naturally will have lots of respect for their brother in law and maintain their boundaries so he let's them stay.


I prefer a strictly nuclear setting, people should stay in their own homes. Too much familiarity breeds contempt, they should let the couple be. Relations from both ends shouldn't come as permanent live ins except aging parents from both ends that wish to.

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alizma:

by your innocential face, I believe you.

helo alizma, how come u hardly reply mentions!

Firstly, I like to be practical and objective in my opinion of things. Many times it's like that with the man's family, I think it stems from the fact that they simply can't come to terms that somebody now has their son's attention 100%.

When I was growing up, I did the analysis even in my little head of my dad's and mum's families, the difference was clearer than 7up. We had two of my aunts living with us, each from both families. My dad's sister will team with strangers to disrepute us and my mum's sister is the opposite. Till today, she's the most perfect human I know. And if you're thinking it's probably my mum's attitude to them, you're wrong. My mum, I once made a comment bout her here, she's very accommodating, I always wish I'd be half as good as her. Every time, throughout my childhood, we always had people living with us, she would even nurse babies for people without collecting a dime. The few reasonable ones from my dad's side prefer to share their secrets with her over their mum.


Now, fast forward to me, my husband's family hate the fact that my husband dotes on me. Before we got married, we were good. When his cousins come around, they stay for weeks, I wash their clothes, anybody cooks what they like. I'm not really bothered bout those things for me it's one big family. You can therefore imagine my disappointment when after our marriage, I got pregnant and was hospitalised. It was an ectopic preg. and surgery was involved, I lost the pregnancy. I spent 3 weeks in the hospital, I spent several more weeks recuperating at home. Not one of my husband's family was seen either at home or the hospital, So dear OP, what do I tell my kids about their dad's family? That they're the next best thing after bread and butter? I have vowed not to step in any of their houses and my vows remain. it's been 4 years now.

I'm sorry for the outburst on somebody else's thread. I'm off duty today, too much time on my hands, again Sorry.