mikolo80:
the kind that doesn't end in divorce due to nagging wife

If you call her nagging because she asked your family member to act responsible, then you have got big mind problem

Madam if you dnt knw what to complain about, better join hand lets complain about this Economic situation.

Do you even knw the relationshp ur husband has with the boy or his family(weda na d boy help ur husband get to wer him dey nw), if you dnt knw you better ask somebody.

We need to talk abt dis economy seriously mehn

Rossy99:
He is not even an inlaw or relative,hubby nd his father attend dsame church back den

/
Look closer...

May be the guy and your husband are lovers.

Just saying...

\

blazer234:


If you call her nagging because she asked your family member to act responsible, then you have got big mind problem

nagging has nothing to do with right or wrong. You don't go repeating the same thing when your partner clearly will not do anything about it. There's are other ways to make someone you do what you want without creating animosity in your home. Direct approach is clearly not an option

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

that how wicked women role

Rossy99:
Like 2da wen we finish eating,he was d one dt pack all d plate cos my baby soil his daiper b4 i cud finish eating nd i wnt to clean her up nd hubby was around so he pack d plate to act d boy is gud,my aim was dt he wud wash d dish immediately cos thr was soapy water thr nd thr was no dirty dish thr b4 bt he dump everytin thr,wen i jst pass by d kitchen later i saw d plate,i called him dt'didnt he see d soapy water thr and dt thr are no dirty dishes thr b4 dt he should go nd wash his dishes as d dishes are entertaining flies,he said he wud go nd wash it nd he didnt go,wen i finish washing cloth abt 3hrs nd tidying up i had to go nd do it cos he has slept off and i cant leave my kitchen like that.dtz anoda habit he has,wen i even try to talk him 2 do it,he gives u tym dt he wud do it bt he wont do it at d end

That guy na werey boy

InvertedHammer:

/
Look closer...

May be the guy and your husband are lovers.

Just saying...

\

LMAO...WHAT DA FECK..HEHEHE..which kain comment be dis

delishpot:


If he was from her family, she would do with him as she pleases until he changes his attitude. She can cut allawee, sieze DVD or switch off tv, not dish his food if he doesn't wash his plates etc Just like you can deal with your younger siblings if they are behaving badly. She can send them back to mom and dad if they fail to obey her rules. Can she do same to that boy without people like you calling her a wicked woman?

As a man, how happy would you be if you fetch water while your wife's brother is there watching tv even when he sees you doing the fetching only for him to stand up and use the water? And this type of thing goes on for a year plus..... 365 days and counting. And when you complain people say.... what if he wasn't living with you, won't you fetch your water? Isn't that pure wickedness?
Now I know why most women kick against bringing in people. Cod of the mentality of many men towards their wives and women in general. Not saying all wives are angels, but we need to stop and listen to people and reason with them when they complain. As the man of the house, Set the rules in your home. Let those coming in know what is expected of them. That way, they do as agreed or they move out if they can't cope with your rules. So they do not see your wife as imposing on them. Make them know how important she is and they would not mess with her.

I disagree with u delishpot...she said he only helped out when her own husband is around.CNT see where the dude used up the water fetched by the lady in this story.u complicating the issue.if its her siblings,she will do somtin good to suit the boy so he can help with house chores.the fact is most new wives of nowadays see husband family members as a threat to there home.my friend,tell her the truth...the guy can't stay there forever...tell her to build a strong relationship with the guy so her own children will be free with the dude in future...frustrating him away from the house is not the best.nobody knows tomorrow.I have a similar experience like this and what is happening now to my own situation will baffle you.treat everyone on ur way good,you will definitely need some of them someday.goodluck

favexx:
The boy should kukuma comes and b bleeping me as I am now married to 2 husbands. Btw if it was my brother I cant beat him or send him out oo buh my insults will do the job for me. Even when he is around I dont do anything concerning the parlour. I my self visit people and I @ least sweep and wash plate. The guy isnt tryin @ all

MY PEOPLE..THIS WOMAN IS A HOE DISGUISED AS A WIFE..how does the topic relate to you been bleeped by a guy cos he displays that kinda attitude in your house

I will surely investigatE U..Cos na ur type go dey nack ur husband junior brother..

My sister, I av a similar case at hand. I am d man in the house. Like always tell my wife, who knows who will take care of our kids when we are no more and we dont know when we will leave this earth.
1. Your hubby must support you. He has to call d guy and tell him why he needs to assist you in the house chores. Specifically, he should be given some responsibilities like washing of plates or bathroom or ironing of clothes etc. When there is no changes, your hubby can discuss with the parents of the boy about the implications of the boy not being responsible at home. All these facts must be known to the parents and anybody that cares to know.
Anytime he refuses to carry out the task assigned to him, your husband should not give him a dime anytime he asks him. There should be a punishment. For me, the boy staying with us do fail to carry out tasks and I called him that anytime he fails to do a task, no dime for him. With this the boy sat up.
3. If there is no change ihe should asked to leave. Yes it is a hard decision but it should be taken and no one will blame you because they know the reason why he is axed. NO FOOD FOR A LAZY MAN!

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

Chai...na one man go marry this your type o...I rebuke your type as house wife in Jesus name.see as you just gladly wrote this rubbish here

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

Wicked thought. But you don't know what will happen to your own children tomorrow. Why do many women always this thoughtless?

@ all saying op won't be complaining if it was her relative, are u Nigerians at all?..truth is u'ld deal with ur own with a stronger hand sef, no need to tell hubby or nlers, u'll set them straight urself lyk long ago..my brother or sister can't come to my home n do nothing..but that's wat mks it difrnt..u tend to treat odas wit a softer hand, especially since he's a male..we jst need to apply wisdom in everything

Madam park well. Is the boy in question your brother, your husband's relative or a total stranger that you people are helping?

Rossy99:
i av neva leave my chores for him to do,d only chores i expect him to do is sweep d parlour whr he sleep,wash dishes or fetch water which he hardly does.u said if i sweep he wud feel guilty conscience,this one doesn't,he wud lift his leg for me to sweep nd adjust well,wen i was preg,he wud b watching me fetch water nd d next day he wud use d water to bath not until i warn him lik 3tym b4 he stop using water i fetch to bath

I don't think you tell us who the guy is to your husband. Some people raised concern that if he's from your side you won't complain. Is he your husband relative or his friend?.

Seriously i can understand your pain. I would feel shy if i was him really to be honest. Looks like he has no shame or what. Anyways, if he's your relative you would most likely keep quiet like your husband is doing, correct?

CrazyQuinn:
how can you allow your in law to stay with you for a year? There will be no privacy and he will be involved into their private affairs. Would you like your in-law to be involved with you and your wife's private affairs. So what's the point of getting married then

What private affairs, Oprah Winfrey dey confuse you abi.

In Africa, particularly Nigeria. We take care of own and support our own. That is how we have survived in difficult times. Those who can pay it forward and so it continues.

Na so una dey do. After wickeding the guy.... you go make another thread .... WE FED HIM FOR A YEAR NOW I AM HIS ENEMY !

Taryur3:

Chai...na one man go marry this your type o...I rebuke your type as house wife in Jesus name.see as you just gladly wrote this rubbish here

Nah the one wey suffer before them get husband na them wiked pass.

Go to other houses were women were married, fresh from yard or grade 1 tokunbo... them no dey do this kind thing

Abi, this wife come from village - them sef dey do this kind thing.

donbenedict:
First of all, he is not a full time house help. So you don't expect him to do all the chores alone at home.

You are a woman and you too should participate in the chores as well. He can decide not to eat your food. Because you are feeding him doesn't mean he must turn into ur househelp.


Dats one thing u modern wives just use to put up a fight with relatives.



Now since your husband isn't doing anythn abt it, u should not take laws into your hands.


U should giv him food, and tell him there and then he should wash his plates after eating.


If you are a full time house wife, den u shouldn't balance in d house an expect him to do all ur bidding, just as u pick up a broom and start sweeping the palour, guilty conscience will not allow him also to relax when he sees u doing it, he too will feel somehow and join u as well. That is how to solve such problems.




If I should ask, is he related to your husband?


Everythn shouldn't be by force. There are many ways to make someone do ur bidding

I experienced this recently from one woman like that. I am a colleague to her husband. I was transferred to the state where they are and decided to spend some time with them before getting my place.
Its was hell mehn, the woman sees me as a full time house help.
The very first day i went to work and i arrived back home, I was just taking a nap when i heard a hard bang on the door continuously, i was like who could that be. I opened the door and it was her and she started shouting 'hanhan u just came back from work and sleep, u cannot come and be helping me in the kitchen', i was like i don enter am. I had to move out. The fact is if the guy in question is related to this woman, such complain wont happen even if he/she has the worst behavior.

Rossy99:
An undergraduate of polytechnic staying with us is growing wings. He doesn't help in domestic chores when hubby is away, he does when hubby is around, he Waits for us to tell him what to do before he does it and he is really making me angry which i hate to be.

When i report him to hubby, he won't do anything or even chastise him instead he complaints whenever i give him food that his food is too small. I'm not a bad type to give him little food cos i have conscience and it disturbs me wen i do bad but he is a glutton that only eats and sleeps without doing anything even to wash plates he use to eat.

What do i do?

Do nothing,you are only expecting too much of him,too much expection keeps us most of the time in bad mood,have you asked this young lad to assist you in anyway that he's not,take it easy over time he may change for d better.

obajoey:


I experienced this recently from a woman. I am a colleague to her husband. I was transferred to the state where they are and decided to spend some time with them before getting my place.
Its was hell mehn, the woman sees me as a full time help.
The very first day i went to work and i arrived back to home, I was just taking a nap when i heard a hard bang on the door continuously, i was like who could that be. I opened the door and it was her and she started shouting 'hanhan u just came back from work and sleeping, u cannot come and be helping me in the kitchen', i was like i don enter am. I had to move out.

Some people marry poor and get rich, other marry rich and get poor. Nah her type whey you go marry nothing less than 10M day for savings, two years later..... zilch.

I can relate perfectly to what you are experiencing op. To be frank, adolescents of this generation are absolutely mannerless and senseless. I live in a compound wit a neighbour n share kitchen with him and we seamlesly relate in terms of taking care of food and dishes. He met a jambite lady last yr n dis girl has a younger brother that has become an attachment to this my neighbour, enters d kitchen at will, eats my food sometimes with my plates, cooks with my pots sometimes on my gas and still leaves ALL utensils 4 me to wash. Imagine d younger bro of a jambite (I was a jambite way back 2005) displaying such quantum irresponsibility? Well I recently expressly warned him (since I am totally convinced I can coerce him with beating) NEVER to step into dat kitchen again and d matter is settled (though he doesnt greet again which I really prefer). My dear op, if u were born in d 80's I want u to understand dat d quality (mental responsibility) of children (mostly d late 90's stalk) is very low and most times if u don't show them total rejection and even threat of coercion, they won't budge. I am a MAN and all d pple shouting here don't understand how annoying (especially in an average African setting) it is to feed and do d dishes of an able bodied much younger sibling/person living with u. Bounce d d**khead out of your house and damn d hypocrites that won't take half of what he is dishing out to u.

LoveDecay:


Nah the one wey suffer before them get husband na them wiked pass.

Go to other houses were women were married, fresh from yard or grade 1 tokunbo... them no dey do this kind thing

Abi, this wife come from village - them sef dey do this kind thing.

Lols...may be na this change make them dey misbehave

Freiden:


In short make the boy sha turn una house help in exchange for feeding and shelter....abi

No my brother. Na if the right hand washes the left, the left hand also washes the right and by so doing the hands would be clean. At least, the guy should be able to show appreciation by rendering a little assistance at home. Do have a good day.

Are you sure you are not the subject matter?

donbenedict:
First of all, he is not a full time house help. So you don't expect him to do all the chores alone at home.

You are a woman and you too should participate in the chores as well. He can decide not to eat your food. Because you are feeding him doesn't mean he must turn into ur househelp.


Dats one thing u modern wives just use to put up a fight with relatives.



Now since your husband isn't doing anythn abt it, u should not take laws into your hands.


U should giv him food, and tell him there and then he should wash his plates after eating.


If you are a full time house wife, den u shouldn't balance in d house an expect him to do all ur bidding, just as u pick up a broom and start sweeping the palour, guilty conscience will not allow him also to relax when he sees u doing it, he too will feel somehow and join u as well. That is how to solve such problems.




If I should ask, is he related to your husband?


Everythn shouldn't be by force. There are many ways to make someone do ur bidding

LoveDecay:


Some people marry poor and get rich, other marry rich and get poor. Nah her type whey you go marry nothing less than 10M day for savings, two years later..... zilch.

This is so true. I do pity the husband most time and always use the woman as a prayer point that " O God, never allow this type of woman to come my way" Fire.

CrazyQuinn:
how can you allow your in law to stay with you for a year? There will be no privacy and he will be involved into their private affairs. Would you like your in-law to be involved with you and your wife's private affairs. So what's the point of getting married then

but ur own family members can stay for ever abi er they not in-laws abi neither will be involved in private affairs with u and ur husband too nawa for u ooo

[quote author=Rossy99 post=48652195]i av neva leave my chores for him to do,d only chores i expect him to do is sweep d parlour whr he sleep,wash dishes or fetch water which he hardly does.u said if i sweep he wud feel guilty conscience,this one doesn't,he wud lift his leg for me to sweep nd adjust well,wen i was preg,he wud b watching me fetch water nd d next day he wud use d water to bath not until i warn him lik 3tym b4 he stop using water i fetch to bath[/quote


All the comment here are from boys like him.

[s]

CrazyQuinn:
wow, the guy has no right to stay for that long what happened to privacy? Is he leaving soon? If not, complain to your husband and tell him your mind, if he doesn't listen, keep complaining to your husband until he tell the guy to leave. It's not right

[/s]I pity your husband

Rossy99:
he has bin staying for 1 nd half yr nw nd for how long,i dnt knw

You're one of those wives that I detest,you're giving the guy small food hence your Hubby's complains,you're here because the guy is not from your side.You want to chase him out of the house with this flimsy excuse and bring in your relations. Go do your house chores,he is not your maid.Thank God your hubby is still using his brain.

blazer234:


The woman does all the work and the guy does nothing and you call that unnecessary complain?!

It will be interesting to know the kind of upbringing you had.

Leave yomieluv, the judgmental hypocrite.
He once stated on this same NAIRALAND that he is ignoring his MILs calls. That she comes to their house too often.

fellis:
Is the boy an id!ot?

How can a jobless person be complaining about the food he is given while living under another persons roof and not even doing anything to assist in the house, my God people like that irritate me. What does he think he is? A king that came to your house to be pampered? At least he should help with something to show you and your husband gratitude for taking care of him instead of just sitting around from morning till evening asking for more food.

What a lousy human being.

OP next time you and he and your husband eat on the same table or in the same room make sure you pile his plate of food very high to like twice or three times the amount you give your husband, if your husband says its too much tell him politely the boy is always complaining that you don't give him enough food so you want to make sure you serve him enough henceforth.

Do it like four times in the presence of your husband and unless he is a millionaire that has money to throw away he will call the boy and caution him on his eating habits.

This ur advice na suicide mission oooo!!! U wan kill d boy with food?

CrazyQuinn:
wow, the guy has no right to stay for that long what happened to privacy? Is he leaving soon? If not, complain to your husband and tell him your mind, if he doesn't listen, keep complaining to your husband until he tell the guy to leave. It's not right

Another bad wife spotted, so the husband has no right to stay with his relation maybe his brother again simply because he married her?.