When a father and mother disagrees, the children NATURALLY follow after their mother. What happens next is transfer of bitterness, anger and gall deliberately into the hearts, minds and soul of the kids who swallow it all innocently.
The results?

Women over the centuries have always used their womanhood and children- if any as tools against their husbands should there be disagreements or separation.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bro, who told you the man "abandoned" the children? You could say the woman moved out with the children.

As an African man, the man paid dowry of the woman in 1984, and tradition demands that his offsprings MUST be buried in his compound. It doesn't matter whether or not they had lived with his wife for 30years or 100 years.

Let us not turn against the truth simply because some rich woman is involved. The act of Stella is abominable and may spell doom in the land.

In Igbo land,the part I am from, if a woman is treated badly in his husband house and she left with the children when they are young and grow up with their mother and decide not to go back to their father, they will be assimilated into the kindred of their mother.

freshvine:


In igbo land children belongs to the man. If you like divorce, hence bride price is paid, whatever comes out of the marriage belongs to the man before the marriage breaks.

Igbo men can never return bride price and return children as well

When they say "nwoke nwe nwa", it does not mean literally. Go and sleep, you don't know jack about Igbo tradition. You see yourself, it's not man returning any bride price, the woman's family is returning it, and it's done differently. Nnewi tradition I am quoting for you on NL, go and ask Igwe , and stop ranting on NL. You know nothing about Igbo tradition.

manny4life:


Nne go to bed, I doubt you have any idea on Igbo tradition. This scenario is quite different because your dad and his kinsmen are the ones going with you to pay the bride price. Absolutely different.

I wasn't born yesterday. Igbo men are traditional and proud species. If you don't give them their right, you start all over again.

Just hang on but is about to boil, that Delta man will will exhumed that corpse even if it will take him ten years expect Stella Oduah confess that's not his biological son

Compliance:


Chairman, I guess u don't know his dad. I know him personally, and the man is stinkiingly rich, oduah is poor!

I know nothing about them . But he can't possibly be richer than Stella..her building the Titanium in Ikoyi is probably the most expensive piece of property on bourdillon

cococandy:
If the man has been out of their lives for almost 30yrs, how does it make sense that the boy should be buried in a place where he was neither loved nor wanted? Tradition right? Well traditon was made by men and isn't infallible. I wonder why people seek to uphold meaningless tradition over people's wellbeing. He had 30yrd to show them that he's their father who loves and wants them. He didn't.

How do you know this is actually the truth?

Because a boy with a clear grouse against his father said so?

Do you know what else has gone on behind the scenes to lead to this? Do you know the actual dynamics of the original custodial arrangement, assuming there actually was one?

People like you jump to conclusions quicker than the leopard on a Puma shoe.

manny4life:


When they say "nwoke nwe nwa", it does not mean literally. Go and sleep, you don't know jack about Igbo tradition. You see yourself, it's not man returning any bride price, the woman's family is returning it, and it's done differently. Nnewi tradition I am quoting for you on NL, go and ask Igwe , and stop ranting on NL. You know nothing about Igbo tradition.

I was born in the heart of igboland. In my community, no woman returns with children belonging to another man

Young man. U should be guided by reasonable elders. I feel ur pain but it Is very wrong talking to ur father this way. Money is not every thing. Make hast to apologize to your father before his ancestors strick again.

manny4life:


I know you did not call him, I called him a sperm donor. I mean, biologically speaking, you need sperm to make babies. As a father, your name is on the birth certificate and that's it. However, my point is remains: there is a difference between "father and a dad".

This young man's issue isn't really about his parents divorce or their issues 30 years ago; however, the beef with his father that has reached to the point of no return. Believe it or not, he's old and matured enough to speak for his immediate family, and as for indebtedness, nah, I don't think so. He's grieving his brother's demise and instead of the father using this as an opportunity to console his kids, knowing fully well that he's not been there, the best possible way was to tell the media that he wasn't informed. You expect him to smile upon hearing this right?

My only concern bro is for peace to reign. It will always be a waste of gunpowder to aim at the moon. Two wrongs can never make a right

ogmask:


Why do u feel the boys story is the truth. You see a spoilt bastard telling the world how stupid he is you try to put up a defence for him. If etoromi was abusive what about the other husbands Stella couldn't stay with. What about the other men who have complained about her in the past.
Btw, is it the bastard that should inform his father officially that Maxwell died. It's obvious that the lad is a brainwashed bastard as he rightly called himself.

Granted Oduah may not be a model wife,did the boy do a bad thing by informing his estranged father about his son's death,even though the man has being absent? Why did the stupid man go to the media to disgrace himself after 30 years? Was that the best course of action,at his age? You people are only saying this because the woman is rich and from a particular place. Shio!!!

CandyDiamond:

In Igbo land,the part I am from, if a woman is treated badly in his husband house and the left with the children when they are young and grow up and decide not to go back to their father they will be assimilated into the kindred of their mother.

Which part of Igboland are you from? I must do my independent investigation. Is it what is applicable to Stealer Oduah? is she from your place?

She has no right not to inform the father(don't tell me phone call) about the son's death. Why the haste? what is she trying to hide?


Na their business sha my brother

Pidggin:


[b]The only evil being in the story is the father who abandoned his kids for over 30 years. [/b]This means he wasn't there when they were sick, he wasn't there when they were going through uncertainties, he wasn't there while they were teenagers, he wasn't there...

She can't take her son's corpse to his father's compound because the dad is more or less a stranger to his kids. There's no point explaining this to you as it appears you may not have the capacity to understand.

You can live in your cocoon as long as you like my dear, Stella Oduah has buried her son in her father's compound, if you are not ready to go and remove the corpse and transfer it his father's compound, I suggest you sponsor a bill against her action or you take the matter to court

How do you know the father abandoned his kids?

The story says the marriage ended over 30 years ago, yet the dead person is not even 30. There are at least 8 different versions of the story and it would be wise not to judge until you hear all versions.

That's why my comment started with 'IF'. You need comprehension in your life.

Nihilist:


How do you know this is actually the truth?

Because a boy with a clear grouse against his father said so?

Do you know what else has gone on behind the scenes to lead to this? Do you know the actual dynamics of the original custodial arrangement, assuming there actually was one?

People like you jump to conclusions quicker than the leopard on a Puma shoe.

KD22:

When a father and mother disagrees, the children NATURALLY follow after their mother. What happens next is transfer of bitterness, anger and gall deliberately into the hearts, minds and soul of the kids who swallow it all innocently.
The results?

Women over the centuries have always used their womanhood and children- if any as tools against their husbands should there be disagreements or separation.

Thanks for this.

All the people shouting "he wasn't father" without fully knowing the dynamics of that family are extremely daft and stupid.

Oduah has now been divorced twice. This is a woman that is clearly not afraid of leaving a relationship on her terms. What's to say she hasn't blocked the man from accessing her kids in life as she clearly has in death, all the while feeding them with hate against their father.

Nobody knows...

There is no justification for this boy's immature actions
If the father was abusive, meet him in court. If you dont want anything to do with him, cut him off quietly.

Inviting the entire world to be spectators at your family drama is just stupid. How can any sensible human being turn his familial intrigues into cheap entertainment for the masses?

cococandy:
That's why my comment started with 'IF'. You need comprehension in your life.

It is only the first part of your statement that was qualified by the word IF,

You went bold to state that the man had 30 years to show that he loved them yet didn't.

If your use of English is so bad that you can't even understand the very things you write, then sadly you need more than comprehension in your life...

manny4life:


The father did not have to say anything, mere stating that he wasn't informed whereas his own biological son called him shows the kind of person he is. Nothing further.

leave them let them keep supporting evil in the name of tradition.

josite:
let us thank this young man,he has finally brought the point home to all absentee fathers who thinks after many years of negative indoctrination by the estranged mum/wife,their son will finally come back home to them.,yes he will,with little or no tolerance for the normal foibles of a daddy.a little indiscretion on the path of absentee fathers get them butchered by an unbonded son.

this guy just told the dad ,the painful truth,he will rather be a bastard than be his son.it is a choice he is entitled to and he has made his choice.anyone can go on to drink panadol for the man's headache or that of his son.

young men,before u marry her,look out for the signs that tells you she will abandon you for the hugest bidder.it is the man's error in marrying and impregnating the wrong woman that led to all these.

absentee father.take this a wakeup call.no future for absentee father.

the boy is right,the dad is a pretender,the sons left home since with their mother with no intention of ever returning home and he knew this all

along. let us begin to call these absentee fathers their real name="sperm donors"

Shut up

freshvine:


When you want to marry, call your dad on phone and invite him to your wedding. With all things being equal if he attends, I change my surname.... It's a promise

My dad? Am not inviting him to my wedding for any reason. My dad is like that guy's father. I only call him when I hear he is sick (as his only son). He has never called me on phone. He doesn't give a dime about me. By the time I am done with school, I will change my surname. I know how he sees my mum. My mum always ask us to forgive him. That's why I can tell you that that man is only likely being mischievous. He told a clear lie that even a child can tell you is a lie.

freshvine:


I was born in the heart of igboland. In my community, no woman returns with children belonging to another man

I just don't like arguing without purpose. You were born in the heart of igboland without a name. Like I said before, go and your elder how it's done when a man demands his bride price back. This is not any man, but a husband.... I won't argue this anymore. My part of Igboland is very known, so this is how it's done.

Nihilist:


It is only the first part of your statement that was qualified by the word IF,

You went bold to state that the man had 30 years to show that he loved them yet didn't.

If your use of English is so bad that you can't even understand the very things you write, then sadly you need more than comprehension in your life...

My man.

Nihilist:


It is only the first part of your statement that was qualified by the word IF,

You went bold to state that the man had 30 years to show that he loved them yet didn't.

If your use of English is so bad that you can't even understand the very things you write, then sadly you need more than comprehension in your life...

That part is obviously true. Was he in their lives and he didn't know the whereabouts of his grown son? And if he was in their lives would the kids be hating on him now? Common sense shows that part is true. You guys are just looking for how to justify his bad behavior.

In the first thread before this one where he claimed not to have been informed. I was of the opinion that Stella did bad by not informing him. Only for the son to claim he was informed. That's where all the ifs and assumptions come in. Because no one really knows who's telling the truth now. Although I'd bet he's the one lying. Because as a reasonable person that lost a child his first move shouldn't have been to go to the media. Still let's give him benefit of the doubt.

Women are masters when it comes to turning their children against their father




Nonsense.



The marriage ended 30 years ago yet your late brother was just 28




Fool

I know of a family not divorced but separated. The man ran far away and the children grew up not having a father figure. Their mother never told her children bad about their father and their father never explain his absence or tell them anything concerning their mother.

The grow up hating their father cos he wasn't there. But as they attend adult hood, they discover family members too despise their mother. The form a strong bond with their mother to fight adversaries and wicked family members.

Lo and behold, it took the first son 39 years to find out himself that his mom chased away the father with her character and began reconciling with the dad. The mom saw the unity, became uncomfortable and rallied other children still under her control against the first son.

The third son became wise and saw the light, she declared full war against them. Family is in disarray now as the female ones is against the males plus the second son giving them the man back up they need.

That's a woman power

Even with your mom telling you guys to forgive him, people will still blame her and accuse her of turning you guys against your father. Forgetting that you're not blind and can see the type of person he is.

Let the irresponsible men keep deceiving themselves. They never take responsibility for their kids and when the results of such actions come knocking, they turn around with the help of their sexist society to blame it on the women. Nothing is ever their faults.

ikp120:


My dad? Am not inviting him to my wedding for any reason. My dad is like that guy's father. I only call him when I hear he is sick (as his only son). He has never called me on phone. He doesn't give a dime about me. By the time I am done with school, I will change my surname. I know how he sees my mum. My mum always ask us to forgive him. That's why I can tell you that that man is only likely being mischievous. He told a clear lie that even a child can tell you is a lie.

pring:

Sorry.
thats a big lie.
Igbo land, one day he will b reminded that he is a bastard.
No traditional title for him or regards.

My brother you're either lying or you don't know tradition. In my place,if a boy cuts ties completely with his father's family he'll do some traditional rites and become a bonafide son of his mother's family and of his mother's place(he will even be given land) Anybody who dares call him a bastard will bear the consequences.

cococandy:


That part is obviously true. Was he in their lives and he didn't know the whereabouts of his grown son? And if he was in their lives would the kids be hating on him now? Common sense shows that part is true. You guys are just looking for how to justify his bad behavior.

In the first thread before this one where he claimed not to have been informed. I was of the opinion that Stella did bad by not informing him. Only for the son to claim he was informed. That's where all the ifs and assumptions come in. Because no one really knows who's telling the truth now. Although I'd bet he's the one lying. Because as a reasonable person that lost a child his first move shouldn't have been to go to the media. Still let's give him benefit of the doubt.

I am not justifying the father's behaviour because I don't know the history , and I don't pretend to know the history.

It is very possible that a father who loves his kids can be denied access to them by a vindictive co-parent - This is the very reason why Custodial Rights are a key element of Family Law, and are one of the most contentious parts of Divorce Cases.

I personally don't care if the boy has issues with his dad. He can still cut his dad off without inviting public speculation in the manner that he has done. That is just daft.

As for you and the rest of your crew, you need to make sure you don't break your ankles while eagerly jumping to conclusions.

but how this story take affect Nigeria's situation? when the going was good we didnt hear it o

manny4life:


I just don't like arguing without purpose. You were born in the heart of igboland without a name. Like I said before, go and your elder how it's done when a man demands his bride price back. This is not any man, but a husband.... I won't argue this anymore. My part of Igboland is very known, so this is how it's done.

I don't know in your place but I've never seen a man demand a bride price back! A megre amount of money to exercise that much energy?

When marriage breaks up, it is usually the woman family chasing the ex husband to come collect his bride price. Why because it forms a significant traditional obligation. It declares the woman free of every marital encumbrances.

Remember there are other rights done on the woman for the kinsmen and the community. Have you seen them return it? That done to the community is the most significant that marriage has taken place and the woman married out. It's never returned

CandyDiamond:

You dont know what you are talking about,I am talking of Anambra state, Aniocha LGA, your own side may be different. Their is an adage in my place that says that "ozo chio nwadiana o gbanaa igwu nne ye" meaning that if they persue a child in his fathers place he will run to his mothers kindred for integration. Nobody will ask them in the feature of all those things,they will bear the name of their mothers family. A rite will be performed on them by the kindred for assimilation, when they finish eating and performing the rite that is final

My sister you will live long!

CandyDiamond:

In Igbo land,the part I am from, if a woman is treated badly in his husband house and she left with the children when they are young and grow up with their mother and decide not to go back to their father, they will be assimilated into the kindred of their mother.

Nobody is denying the fact that they will be assimiliated. Ofcourse, igbos are civilized and would always recognize their own blood.
But when it comes to high positions, especially ones keenly contested in the Igbo community or as a group, that fellow is already at a massive disadvantage.
Infact, it would take a miracle for such a fellow to rise to any prominent position in igboland. That is the fact. It is inhumane(I know), but the fact nonetheless.
Children are traced to their father's house in igboland, and rise and fall on that merit.

If two elephants fight the grass will suffer that's what happens in a broken home. The children will lake parental care. The boy lack home training. May God upholds our marriage for our children to have manner to elders.