What of d boy's dady?

Acidosis:


Just one question, would you allow your brother or son marry a girl who had her first baby at 11?

Yes! It's his choice not mine....I will give him my support because I believe that everyone deserves another chance

Did she marry the man dat impregnated her or she got anoda one

teamsynergy:

as much as agree wif u, I wud admonish u not to mind comments u read on nairaland... too many unreal pipu... dey usually blow tinx out of proportion and r always very judgemental

I guess you are right.

He's just jealous ....Nigerian men can be jealous for Africa

dominique:


Lol, you think I conceded so quick

You made her achievement count as nothing just because she did not acknowledge an husband who probably was not present during the heat of her struggles.

You indirectly stigmatized her by saying she is lucky that a man married her despite being a single mum

All in a bid to make her look bad, you decided to inject her grandma into the equation.

I hope you don't have the typical Nigerian male mentality that believes that everything must revolve around them and they're doing women favour by marrying them

My take
I'm not the judgemental type, once a mistake has been made, don't dwell on it. Learn you lessons and move the hell on. Some girls who got pregnant at a young age turn themselves into victims and make an even bigger mess of their lives. But this one didn't, she picked herself up, improved herself and is raising a young man. To you none of that counts because she did not acknowledge a man.

If I was in her shoes, I will definitely safe my son

dominique:


If her husband and her son are drowning and she can only save one, who do you think she will save?

If I was in her shoes, I will definitely save my son

dominique:


If her husband and her son are drowning and she can only save one, who do you think she will save?

Tell him oh! Jealousy is a disease

GdexFolami:
ask ur mom who shes loves d most between u and ur dad.And by the way her son should b her life nah,do u knw hw much she sufferred over the boy.The husband she married might divorce her tommorrow fah.

The truth hurts

dominique:


Same husband than can easily cheat on her, kick out and remarry. Nothing or no one can ever break the bond between mother and child. Your wife can never love you more than her child, sorry about that

Amelian:




Lol.. Well the baby daddy was ready to take her from her husband, when she told him how her husband always maltreats and cheats on her and embarrasses her in public.. He was furious, he was just waiting the husband to come to the boutique he opened for her and a new flat he rented for her and his son , so as to give him an earful . My dear, things dey happen o... Lol
Another man wife o... Lol
So the husband even called me saying his wife left their home and left their 3children. That how can a married woman just disappear like that, and her parents said they've not seen her. And do I know where she is? I said have not seen her o.. I don't want to be part of their wahala. So he sent a spy, found her boutique and came, see show down with her, her baby daddy.. Lol
Mehn it was crazy!

They were later calmed down and her husband left angrily..
To report her to her parents. Unknown to the husband, her baby daddy has already gone to her family to wet ground while the husband has never wet ground for her parents since how many years he married her.
Her parents supported the baby daddy and his relationship with their daughter lol.
The husband went back home dissapointed and he then resulted to begging his wife to come back, that's it's the devil and he still loves her.. Lol..
And he will change for the better..

Well, she insists she wants to stay on her own but she will always visit her other children and they can visit her. But to live with her husband again.. No way..
D baby daddy also spends on her other children when they come for visit, especially if he's around with her.. And this baby daddy is younger than the lady with 6 years difference.. He's just blessed to be rich . Things dey happen

So the baby daddy's wife stays in another state.. He lives in a different state becos of his company... While He rented the apartment for her and his son in Lagos and her own husband is in Lagos.

You just made my day with this gist. So your friend actually abandoned her own husband to continue this unhealthy relationship with her baby dada. He would definitely impregnant her again. Did she stop to think of the consequences of her action if her baby dada's wife finds her out? She not only destroyed her home for her happiness, she would suicide in ruining another's home. She should have just follow her husband who had become repentant by now. The man was weigh down by the thought of marrying a single mother. If the man happens to marry again, her own children will suffer.

The cycle keeps happening with single mother and their ex. If the ex happen to be nice and regretful, the women go down all the way with them. A re-f**k is somewhat easy mehn. The ex daddy need to control themselves to avoid these scenarios. That is why 2face kept impregnating his babymamas! I have seen it happened again and again. One need to be wise dear

ItsQuinn:
If I was in her shoes, I will definitely safe my son

Sorry, I will save my wife! Without her, there won't be son in the first place. Many men prefer their wives alive from the delivery room and their little child dead than the other way round

Biko which one is roasted maggot again?

Mayflowa:



Sorry, I will save my wife! Without her, there won't be son in the first place. Many men prefer their wives alive from the delivery room and their little child dead than the other way round

well it's the other way around for women, women are different and we think differently. I would rather in the delivery room than my son to die. That's nature for you, you can't change that.

Mayflowa:


You just made my day with this gist. So your friend actually abandoned her own husband to continue this unhealthy relationship with her baby dada. He would definitely impregnant her again. Did she stop to think of the consequences of her action if her baby dada's wife finds her out? She not only destroyed her home for her happiness, she would suicide in ruining another's home. She should have just follow her husband who had become repentant by now. The man was weigh down by the thought of marrying a single mother. If the man happens to marry again, her own children will suffer.

The cycle keeps happening with single mother and their ex. If the ex happen to be nice and regretful, the women go down all the way with them. A re-f**k is somewhat easy mehn. The ex daddy need to control themselves to avoid these scenarios. That is why 2face kept impregnating his babymamas! I have seen it happened again and again. One need to be wise dear

Smiles you are welcome..am glad I made your night with the gist.

And what you said now it's true.. If her baby daddy's wife finds out, hell will let loose..
I wonder how people think, reason and handle their lives without a care in d world.. I don't like interfering in couples wahala. Cause it always bounce back on the long run. I will only listen when they pour their hearts out and console but I will never take sides..
Odikwa very risky.

Acidosis:


Just one question, would you allow your brother or son marry a girl who had her first baby at 11?

I would marry a girl who had her first child at 3 sef. take it easy bro. At times in life,the brightness if the presence outshines the darkness of the past.

Let me also add that she knows better than u and I who between her son and husband pushed her to succeed in life. I believe it was the child and not the husband. hence all compliments goes to him.

I WD be disappointed in you if you feel the husband did her a favour to have married her upon her having a child at 11 and out of wedlock.

Do u know what she brings to the table of the marriage and family?

ItsQuinn:
well it's the other way around for women, women are different and we think differently. I would rather in the delivery room than my son to die. That's nature for you, you can't change that.

I know. You are totally forgiven. It is just a woman's nature to prefer their seed to whatever and whoever including their husbands and even themselves. That is why you see women selling groundnut, orange and vegetables in the market just so they can cater for their own while the husbands go drinking and uncaring! Women have a new kind of responsible one they are put in family way. That is why tonto-dikeh will change regardless of her past. that is why you see high class prostitute settle down well.

I am not jealous. Men have their own leverage. Men easily go scot-free with cheating. Women are easily forgiven of their husband imprenating another. They fight the women off rather than their husbands. It's funny. Men hardly tolerate that. Getting too close to a male friend may make you lose one tooth or two. We all have our leverages.

NB: - I am not supporting male cheating!

tintingz:
The story look fictional tho but its good to read stories of lessons of life.

And you have a point, most women forget to appreciate their husband, they show all their love to their children, they forget their husband still want to be loved.

her husband is a supporting cast in the story. not a lead actor. How did she forget her husband? afteral, she didn't berate the husband either.

dollyjoy:
@ 11 years old? Unbelievable!

This one beats Ese Oruru hands down and possibly setting the national record of early leg openers.

Acidosis:


You really don't see any wrong in a married woman calling her son her life?

Do you know what that means?


If you say men should not demand events to revolve around them, why justify her praises to her son? or is the son not a man?

If things can revolve around the son, what about the husband? Oh, I forgot the guy is the number 1 person in her life, not the husband (my only and main issue with her post BTW).

Marriage is not by force anyways but if you must get married, stick with the ideal rules.

Do you see it as awkward because the son in question doesn't belong to her present husband?
A lot of married women always praise their children publicly this way. They call them 'my life', the reason for my existence, etc.
But nobody sees it as odd because they're with the child's father. Should she love her son less because she's married?
Infact, most married women with their children's father will always choose their children first. Maybe out of disappointment in their marriage, I don't know. That's also the reason why most children especially sons place their mothers on a pedestal.
That's also the reason we always read on NL about wives who are jealous of their MILs and vice versa.
A man should never be jealous of the relationship btw a mother and her child. It's just what it is. So many eulogies about mothers in all cultures. So many songs about mothers by both black and white. Infact, some cultures see a mother as a god. Orisa bi Iya o si- no diety can compare to a mother.
That's because a lot of mothers sacrifice for their children. So a husband/father that keeps getting jealous about his wife and her children is on a long thing. Na bp you go give yourself.

LorDBolton:
I must commend her popsy.

He gave her a situational choice become useless or make something of yourself.

She chose the latter.

While some mumu here will open mouth to rationalise criminality n blame buhari.

If a robber can loose sleep to carry gun at night and break into peeps crib what stops him from finding a gateman gig?

The pay

Iffffffy:
maybe she's not married yet

But she said that she is now married.

Amelian:
Maybe she has had clashes with her husband concerning her son.. And her husband may have said one day out of anger, that she is second hand.
A friend of. Mine, she's a single mum but married to another man. She always sang praises of her son and how he will make her proud.. I then asked her one day, how about your husband, u rarely talk about him.. She said my dear, if u know what my husband had said to me in the first of rage, u will be amazed and above all he doesn't care about my first son... He takes responsibilty of his other children I had with him except the first one I had before I married him.. One day, he shouted at me and said I don't blame u woman, I blame myself for marrying a second hand woman... In the midst of neighbours trying calm him down.. She felt so ashamed of herself cos everyone thought her husband was the father of her first son.
She said her first son doesn't regard her husband as his dad.. He cried one day saying he wants to know his biological father. She went in search of the guy who impregnated her, thank God she found him, he felt remorsed for abandoning them.. He himself is also married with children, but he promised to take over his son's education and welfare..and he's doing exactly the way he promised.. That move nearly ruined her marriage but at the end, her parents came into the matter..
To cut long story short
Her first son is well take care of by his real dad without his own wife knowing he has a son elsewhere.
He also set her up in a boutique business cause her husband at home wants her to be full time housewife and shes tired staying at home.
It nearly ruined her home cos her husband was like who gave her so much money to open a biz...

In short, for me oooo I cannot be a single mum, either thru mistake or otherwise and then get married to another man? Nah.. Too many complications there..

Don't be surprised to find out that the same man who open boutique for her will still be shining her kongo.

That's the unfortunate thing that can happen to someone who settle for a single- mom.

Acidosis:


Why don't you address the message, and ignore the messenger with losed nuts?

There were times I normally had problems with how you put your thought online but maturity taught me that it is only sane people that do understand how mature and straightforward you address issues, please keep it up, I'll always check my excess even if you write things that offends me because I will always look at the positive side of it.

Acidosis:
You see the problem I have with some single moms?

Your son is your life? what about your husband, no single word about him?

There's nothing inspiring about this, from my own point of view.

no go fyiok person pikin oh!this one wey u dey sound like toto-blaster.

most men don't give a 4k! why chook a small girl?he might have even been her classmate sha.

but,hey! if the guy was good then he would have been mentioned

Acidosis:


I don't buy into any of those sh!ts.

Biko, how did her son contribute to her life? What about the father of the son who planted the seed into her? Or was it a r.ape issue?


I don't know how you folks reason but I won't buy any of those sh!ts. My mom should stick to her Darling husband biko, I am her son, a grown one now, not her god. Her husband/my father is her god and pillar, not me.

Totally my point of view, a woman's husband should be her pillar, you son or daughter would find love and have a family of their own someday and you would become his/her number 3 or 4, no more number 1. You husband on the other hand is there till death. So women should learn to no love their children more than their husbands. That's my opinion

To most women it might not be a big deal for someone to marry a single parent but to some men,it's a very big deal, they are the one making the move,making the bold step, a step quite different from what is normally the ideal...so yea, it's a big deal and if most women acknowledge it, it would mean alot these guys.

To those saying did he force him to marry her, I bet their reaction would have been different if he decided that in the last minute he didn't want to settle down with a baby mama. Asides the love he has for her, he made a compromise to the standard he had in mind. No man on earth grows up thinking he wants to marry a baby mama.

As for those saying there is no point appreciating her husband, are they trying to say her husband had no point in time being influential in her son's life whether directly or indirectly?

Roasted maggot ke ??

Acidosis:


She's a married woman, read the quote and the Topic.

She wanted us to know that in spite bn pregnant at 11, she got a man, and a M.Ed.

Unfortunately, she selfishly poured all the appreciation to her son with no single word about the man who, in spite her situation, loved her and counted her worthy enough to be a wife.

This attitude puts me off completely. It doesn't apply only to single moms though, some married women are like that.

My dear that's life for you, sometimes we tend to forget the ones that mattered most, was actually expecting her to shower praises on hubby not her father and son but she only concentrated on her son and even went as far as putting up his pictures. I have a gut feeling there is more to the story . Nice one up there

God has crowned her efforts with success

ItsQuinn:
Her husband was no where to be found, her husband didn't contribute anything to her struggles, her husband wasn't there when she was at her worst, so why must he be recognised? Recognised for what na?

The only people that need the recognition and application is her father and her son. Shikena!

Babe please face reality, why won't the husband be recognized, there are certain things that are so clean and clear to the extent of not needing argument, if her husband is not her no 1 then why marry him? If the man in question was ur brother how would you feel after reading this? please my dear let's call a spade a spade.

ItsQuinn:
Her husband was no where to be found, her husband didn't contribute anything to her struggles, her husband wasn't there when she was at her worst, so why must he be recognised? Recognised for what na?

The only people that need the recognition and application is her father and her son. Shikena!

Probably because he did her a huge favour by marrying her poor unworthy self. Why must it always revolve around you men? Her remarkable story is about herself and her son. Because she didn't shower encomiums on her husbands doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate him. How can you infer that?

I tire for the jealous men oh! The husband is not complaining, it's you that's now complaining

Arielle:

Probably because he did her a huge favour by marrying her poor unworthy self. Why must it always revolve around you men? Her remarkable story is about herself and her son. Because she didn't shower encomiums on her husbands doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate him. How can you infer that?