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Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? - Romance - Nairaland

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Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by genieluv(f): 10:48am On Oct 07, 2016
This is nothing but the truth and it's so sad that most Nigerian and African women have allowed this character of many of our men to confuse us, make us who we are not and make us hate on each other.

The average Nigerian or African man will look at his wife at home that she is no longer fascinating or looking sexy anymore just for him to excuse himself to cheat on her, but if his wife starts dressing extremely elegant and sexy, looking all hot when she is leaving the house, spending her time on manicure, pedicure and cosmetics, he will start feeling insecure and may even start accusing the wife of acting flirtatiously and cheating on him. Why?

The same African men are very quick to open their lying mouths and say that they prefer naturally dark skinned ladies and they are always quick to bash and castigate ladies who are bleaching their skin. Yet you go on instagram and other social networks and you see the light skinned ladies getting all the likes, attention and the hype from the same men. Watch Nigerian and most African music videos and you see almost all the ladies these celebrities sing and dance with and even date are all light skinned ladies, biracials and even whites, you hardly see these celebs with dark skinned women. So who is deceiving who?

The same men will say that they are looking for their kind of ladies who are homely, decent, God-fearing, good cook women and bla bla bla to settle down with and then you see many fun loving and funky babes by nature changing themselves just to fit into the marriage imagination of our men and only for the man to marry her, leave her at home and keep on going after those fun loving and funky babes outside, while the homely and decent lady stays at home longing, crying and praying for her husband whom she had to develop morals from childhood for. Why?

Why should the lady at home who is striving to live a godly, decent and motherly life just to fit and meet up with the society and the man's standard of a good wife in many cases get less attention and be looked down on than the hot babe and side chick outside that get all the attention and compliments from the same man? What could be more double standard of a human being than that?

The same Nigerian man will complain that his wife who is at home taking care of his kids and doing all the domestic work is a liability at home and she is of no use, if this same woman now gets up and start working her ass off day and night, travelling on business trips and always busy with business calls, clients and on the go, the same men will still be complaining and feeling insecure that their wife is not performing their wifely duties or are now looking down on them because they make money too, some will go as far as accusing her of respecting her boss more than him the husband or cheating accusations.
Many Nigerian men are very much intimidated by successful women.

These are just some of the few cases of many.
Pls i need the men to answer, why are many of them like this? No matter what a woman does, they will just never be satisfied.

6 Likes

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Cutehector(m): 10:52am On Oct 07, 2016
Someone is very insecure here
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Nobody: 10:57am On Oct 07, 2016
grin



I won't be surprised one day if a lot of Nigerian women will settle down with foreigners..where they're appreciated, loved and comforted way better than their local men...


[size=18pt]INTERRACIAL is the Best[/size]

1 Like

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by dirtyslap(m): 10:58am On Oct 07, 2016
What kind of epistle is this...too long can't read it abeg. undecided
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by DeLioncourt: 11:02am On Oct 07, 2016
Babe please shift.
Both men and women are guilty of this accusation you have conveniently leveled against Nigerian men.

And it's not only Nigerians that are guilty of this.
It is human nature to be greedy and selfish. Some people have it under control, some don't.

Muslims all over the world are allowed to marry more than one woman. Is that not indicative that some of them may not be satisfied with one wife?
Women, married and unmarried, cheat on their partners. Some even have boyfriends for different purposes.. (shawarma bf, suya bf, iphone bf)
So chill and be the best person you can be.

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by DeLioncourt: 11:04am On Oct 07, 2016
TrapQueen77:
grin



I won't be surprised one day if a lot of Nigerian women will settle down with foreigners..where they're appreciated, loved and comforted way better than their local men...


[size=18pt]INTERRACIAL porn is the Best[/size]

lol. I humbly agree grin grin grin
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Newbeginnings(m): 11:05am On Oct 07, 2016
I understand you... genieluv

The simple thing is that Nigerians, Africans are passive, when you understand this........ you will learn how to craft men and other people into what you want..

I will be posting an article explaining the three types of people, Actives, Passives and Inactives... You can check my profile for the post later in the day

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise

1 Like

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by SpicyJosBabe(f): 11:43am On Oct 07, 2016
This is true
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by ianSweet(f): 11:48am On Oct 07, 2016
LoL, OP thank you for describing Nigerian and African men, they are the most insecure creatures ever created.

This is why i usually tell ladies to live their lives naturally and just be themselves and let any man who will come your way love u for who you are. If he wants to leave, he should leave, because even if you kill yourself, you can never still please the average Nigerian man. He will always find some reasons to complain about you.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by genieluv(f): 12:35pm On Oct 07, 2016
TrapQueen77:
grin



I won't be surprised one day if a lot of Nigerian women will settle down with foreigners..where they're appreciated, loved and comforted way better than their local men...


[size=18pt]INTERRACIAL is the Best[/size]

You are very correct dear.
Foreign men are not as insecure as these our men here. Nigerian men will always find every reason to blame a woman no matter what she does.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by genieluv(f): 3:53pm On Oct 07, 2016
DeLioncourt:
Babe please shift.
Both men and women are guilty of this accusation you have conveniently leveled against Nigerian men.

And it's not only Nigerians that are guilty of this.
It is human nature to be greedy and selfish. Some people have it under control, some don't.

Muslims all over the world are allowed to marry more than one woman. Is that not indicative that some of them may not be satisfied with one wife?
Women, married and unmarried, cheat on their partners. Some even have boyfriends for different purposes.. (shawarma bf, suya bf, iphone bf)
So chill and be the best person you can be.

It's mostly African men that are guilty of this. They always like to lay blames on their spouses. Most white men are very supportive of their partners no matter what and will never shift the blames on them for their wrongdoings.
I know women have issues and also tend to play guys, but African women are generally more comitted and faithful to whoever they say their vows to on the alter and they tend to lay their lives in his hands and give him their complete support and allow all their desires go to him alone. But this is very different from most men here.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by DeLioncourt: 5:52pm On Oct 07, 2016
genieluv:


It's mostly African men that are guilty of this. They always like to lay blames on their spouses. Most white men are very supportive of their partners no matter what and will never shift the blames on them for their wrongdoings.
I know women have issues and also tend to play guys, but African women are generally more comitted and faithful to whoever they say their vows to on the alter and they tend to lay their lives in his hands and give him their complete support and allow all their desires go to him alone. But this is very different from most men here.

Fair point. But I'm still of the opinion that your opinion is based on the people you have interacted with.
The fact that you don't hear of how foreigners treat their partners is not enough to assume that they are better.
I used to have a female friend from Serbia that said Nigerian men were better than European men...because she had interacted with the two groups quite intimately.
I feel you're basing your assumption of foreign men off movies and visual media.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by DeLioncourt: 5:57pm On Oct 07, 2016
ianSweet:
LoL, OP thank you for describing Nigerian and African men, they are the most insecure creatures ever created.

This is why i usually tell ladies to live their lives naturally and just be themselves and let any man who will come your way love u for who you are. If he wants to leave, he should leave, because even if you kill yourself, you can never still please the average Nigerian man. He will always find some reasons to complain about you.

You talk like you never see anything negative in your partner. The fact that your partner complains about something does not make him insecure or less of a man. It's your job to make him see your point of view and vice versa.
Even the white men that y'all praise so much have their flaws. Try interacting with white chicks and let them tell you their first hand experiences. I have and I can tell you that the devil you know in naija is better than the white angel you don't know.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by firstking01(m): 6:00pm On Oct 07, 2016
SpicyJosBabe:
This is true
Hope you are done with him finally??
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by SpicyJosBabe(f): 7:38pm On Oct 07, 2016
firstking01:
Hope you are done with him finally??
Yes i am, why are u asking? Are you single? grin
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by SpicyJosBabe(f): 7:44pm On Oct 07, 2016
ianSweet:
LoL, OP thank you for describing Nigerian and African men, they are the most insecure creatures ever created.
This is why i usually tell ladies to live their lives naturally and just be themselves and let any man who will come your way love u for who you are. If he wants to leave, he should leave, because even if you kill yourself, you can never still please the average Nigerian man. He will always find some reasons to complain about you.

My sister, i think you are correct. But not all of our men are like that, however i think about half of them or the majority especially in marriages.
You can imagine a married woman will be managing with her husband when he has nothing and would be there for him, but once he starts making money, he abandons her and goes for more babes outside. I can't count the amount of advances i have turned down from married men.
The faithful wife is managing with you African man and you claim she is boring and not fascinating enough, if she starts demanding for money for high cosmetic, hairstyling and expensive clothing and jewellry bills, you will call her a spendthrift and extravagant wife who spends anyhow.

I really think a lot of men do not actually know what they want from a woman.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by misspicy(f): 7:45pm On Oct 07, 2016
Newbeginnings:
I understand you... genieluv

The simple thing is that Nigerians, Africans are passive, when you understand this........ you will learn how to craft men and other people into what you want..

I will be posting an article explaining the three types of people, Actives, Passives and Inactives... You can check my profile for the post later in the day

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
I have an idea about this topic,please mention me when you create the thread.


@OP,its time to develop a thick skin,lamenting about the confused state a particular gender finds themselves won't change nothing.

Just be yourself,make a difference,ane watch the small percent of the reasonable ones among them come your way smiley
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by genieluv(f): 7:59pm On Oct 07, 2016
DeLioncourt:


You talk like you never see anything negative in your partner. The fact that your partner complains about something does not make him insecure or less of a man. It's your job to make him see your point of view and vice versa.
Even the white men that y'all praise so much have their flaws. Try interacting with white chicks and let them tell you their first hand experiences. I have and I can tell you that the devil you know in naija is better than the white angel you don't know.

What makes u feel she has not interracted with white folks or people from other races? She might have actually had. For instance i can tell u that many white women will tell u that they prefer African men because African men are family oriented and will be quite quick to settle down and have children, some of them also feel that African men are sexually endowed compared to their men and these may be true.

Another thing is that many African men are naturally pretenders from what i have observed. If they are with white women, they tend to act more obedient, supportive and comitted to the marriage, but with their own fellow African women, they just take us for granted.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by genieluv(f): 8:05pm On Oct 07, 2016
misspicy:

I have an idea about this topic,please mention me when you create the thread.


@OP,its time to develop a thick skin,lamenting about the confused state a particular gender finds themselves won't change nothing.

Just be yourself,make a difference,ane watch the small percent of the reasonable ones among them come your way smiley

Yes u are right. But with the rate of pretence going on, how sure are we that we will not attract the pretenders who will wow at our presence before marriage but immediately they have paid the bride price then the whole story changes?
Am not married yet, but i can see what our married women suffer in the hands of these men. It's so terrible.
That's why my advice for girls and women is to empower themselves and completely depend on themselves and never try to live their lives to please any man or his opinions, becos u can never in the real sense.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by firstking01(m): 8:11pm On Oct 07, 2016
SpicyJosBabe:

Yes i am, why are u asking? Are you single? grin
Yes, even single as the alphabet "I" grin, why asking?, you wan us to minglegrin??
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Phikom(m): 8:12pm On Oct 07, 2016
epistle...
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Nobody: 8:12pm On Oct 07, 2016
genieluv:

You are very correct dear. Foreign men are not as insecure as these our men here. Nigerian men will always find every reason to blame a woman no matter what she does.
though i really can't read that your epistle but with that title, you just haven't met the good ones yet. trust me..
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by DeLioncourt: 8:13pm On Oct 07, 2016
genieluv:


What makes u feel she has not interracted with white folks or people from other races? She might have actually had. For instance i can tell u that [b]many white women will tell u that they prefer African men because African men are family oriented and will be quite quick to settle down [/b]and have children, some of them also feel that African men are sexually endowed compared to their men and these may be true.

Another thing is that many African men are naturally pretenders from what i have observed. If they are with white women, they tend to act more obedient, supportive and comitted to the marriage, but with their own fellow African women, they just take us for granted.

We have attained common ground there.
Anyway, it's a good thing you didn't generalise cos I know a large number of straightforward and honer Nigerian guys.
I may not be one of them wink but they exist.
I'm sure you've heard of rednecks and hillbillies... The men in that category treat their women like sh*t. And they ain't even ½% African.
And in my opinion, women are actually more disloyal than men... Except the Yoruba demons of course...they have no match. grin
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by ianSweet(f): 8:14pm On Oct 07, 2016
DeLioncourt:


You talk like you never see anything negative in your partner. The fact that your partner complains about something does not make him insecure or less of a man. It's your job to make him see your point of view and vice versa.
Even the white men that y'all praise so much have their flaws. Try interacting with white chicks and let them tell you their first hand experiences. I have and I can tell you that the devil you know in naija is better than the white angel you don't know.

OP gave u the prefect reply below i think.
genieluv:

What makes u feel she has not interracted with white folks or people from other races? She might have actually had. For instance i can tell u that many white women will tell u that they prefer African men because African men are family oriented and will be quite quick to settle down and have children, some of them also feel that African men are sexually endowed compared to their men and these may be true.
Another thing is that many African men are naturally pretenders from what i have observed. If they are with white women, they tend to act more obedient, supportive and comitted to the marriage, but with their own fellow African women, they just take us for granted.

Yes indeed, u guys really take African women for granted alot @DeLionCourt, because u feel no matter what you do to us we will still remain in the relationship compared to a white woman who has no single time to tolerate shit.
The truth is that the tide is gradually turning, very soon African women will become very intolerant of male excesses like the white woman and maybe then u guys can start acting more like the white men.

White men hardly look down on their wives for any reason as an excuse to cheat outside or blame her unnecesarily, if they are tired of a relationship or marriage, they will sit u down and tell you to your face or file for divorce rather than cheat on you, in most cases.
It's not just about the media alone.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by ianSweet(f): 8:19pm On Oct 07, 2016
kelval:
though i really can't read that your epistle but with that title, you just haven't met the good ones yet. trust me..
Phikom:
epistle...

Chai, see Nigerian men and their laziness. How come we the ladies here are not complaining of the length of OP's post? Even if u cannot read everything, read some of it.

You guys will always say ''you've not met the right person'' but if we look at the majority of Nigerian homes or relatiionships, we clearly see this is true.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Nobody: 8:31pm On Oct 07, 2016
I really still don't understand why people take cheating so personally undecided
DeLioncourt:
Babe please shift.
Both men and women are guilty of this accusation you have conveniently leveled against Nigerian men.

And it's not only Nigerians that are guilty of this.
It is human nature to be greedy and selfish. Some people have it under control, some don't.

Muslims all over the world are allowed to marry more than one woman. Is that not indicative that some of them may not be satisfied with one wife?
Women, married and unmarried, cheat on their partners. Some even have boyfriends for different purposes.. (shawarma bf, suya bf, iphone bf)
So chill and be the best person you can be.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Nobody: 8:32pm On Oct 07, 2016
ianSweet:
Chai, see Nigerian men and their laziness. How come we the ladies here are not complaining of the length of OP's post? Even if u cannot read everything, read some of it. You guys will always say ''you've not met the right person'' but if we look at the majority of Nigerian homes or relatiionships, we clearly see this is true.
first, you should know i gladly and loudly say a big amen to that your dp. and please my dear sister, to every race has its own prob. and also, untill you people stop forcing someone you love and follow the one that loves you instead, then i doubt if you would ever know peace in any mans house. i really feel like telling you a story right now but am hoping fate will bring us 2geda on another thread again and by the way, our(men) thoughts are not your thoughts so dont expect a man to just sit down there and start reading that epistle. peace
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by misspicy(f): 9:03pm On Oct 07, 2016
genieluv:


Yes u are right. But with the rate of pretence going on, how sure are we that we will not attract the pretenders who will wow at our presence before marriage but immediately they have paid the bride price then the whole story changes?
Am not married yet, but i can see what our married women suffer in the hands of these men. It's so terrible.
That's why my advice for girls and women is to empower themselves and completely depend on themselves and never try to live their lives to please any man or his opinions, becos u can never in the real sense.
My dear,we can actually rise above the seeming bad situation.
How
1)Be prayerful.
2)Meeting with the right people
3)Mingling with the right crowd.
4)Be vigilant
5)Be focused,know you aim and expectations
6)Self love
And like you said 'independent'

Nothing is gonna change in a yet a long while,unless by divine intervention grin
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Phikom(m): 9:38pm On Oct 07, 2016
ianSweet:



Chai, see Nigerian men and their laziness. How come we the ladies here are not complaining of the length of OP's post? Even if u cannot read everything, read some of it.

You guys will always say ''you've not met the right person'' but if we look at the majority of Nigerian homes or relatiionships, we clearly see this is true.
no issue of laziness here but d tune and substance of the message...
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by humilitypays(m): 8:06pm On Oct 08, 2016
@ genieluv you are right, so true, but the problem is: Nigerian women overdo everything they are into, they don't know how to balance work life, business, money chase, family, marriage and love....they must overdo one to the detriment of another.

For in stance, if u marry a lady and tell her not to work, out of love and care, she will become too lazy at home and turn to a horrible nagging wife barking and yelling at her maids, and even hubby sometimes.

Marry a working class Nigerian lady and supoort/encourage her to be the best in her career/business, and watch her become wild, disrespectful, prideful and pompous to even serve you food as her hubby becomes a big task for her.

Nigerian women need to learn how to balance things in life and not overdo things.

Most Nigerian men love independent ladies and will definitely support and even assist her grow in her chosen career or business but when u get close to most of the so-called independent Nigerian ladies, they are mostly not dateable or marriageable, why

1. Most of them are so prideful, pompous and always feel like because they managed to make or earn some money, therefore all men should bow and worship them. And of course no Nigerian man in his right senses with his financial situation in tact will dare marry such a pompous lady that lack humility!

2. Most Nigerian independent ladies are flirty and wayward with rich men!

Most of them combine their flourishing career, business or trade with discrete high-class prostitution whereby they target only the super-rich men and politicians in corridor of power, and u know, Nigerian men know about this because one way or the other, most Nigerian men also know one or two men that patronize these career women that combine high-class love peddling with their career...and this makes them distasteful to honorable single men looking for committed relationship or marriage, and no man (single or married) in his right senses would want his wife, the mother of his kids to be living such wayward lifestyle.

You talked about most Nigerian men preferring light skinned ladies...u are right no doubt, it's not just about Nigerian men...its about black men, even black/African American men prefer white or light skin ladies.

So once a black man becomes rich, his most preferable type of woman is a fair skin lady with big buttocks and nice bo0bs. Blame nature...and don't listen to any black guy telling u otherwise, sadly. cry

So my suggestion to Nigerian ladies, if u can't stand the heat of being dark skin, and if u can bear the consequences of bleaching your skin, pls do so or tone it to become a bit brighter.

Stop overdoing things...try and learn to balance things in life: don't allow your job, business or career to make u overlook your marriage or abandon your home/family.

Don't allow your quest to become an independent lady turn you to a prideful, pompous, arrogant, distasteful woman!

Balance everything and everybody will adore u!

True, some Nigerian men are hypocrist but unfortunately, Nigerian women prefer running around with them than with real, sensible Nigerian men!

1 Like

Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by Titilayooni(f): 8:28pm On Oct 08, 2016
No matter how double standard and unfaithful Nigerian men can be,,babe there are still some of them(maybe 20%) that are good,loving and worth the time.. You just have to find one and carry your cross.
Re: Why Are Many Nigerian Men So Unstraightforward And Double Standard By Nature? by humilitypays(m): 8:28pm On Oct 08, 2016
SpicyJosBabe:


My sister, i think you are correct. But not all of our men are like that, however i think about half of them or the majority especially in marriages.
You can imagine a married woman will be managing with her husband when he has nothing and would be there for him, but once he starts making money, he abandons her and goes for more babes outside. I can't count the amount of advances i have turned down from married men.
The faithful wife is managing with you African man and you claim she is boring and not fascinating enough, if she starts demanding for money for high cosmetic, hairstyling and expensive clothing and jewellry bills, you will call her a spendthrift and extravagant wife who spends anyhow.

I really think a lot of men do not actually know what they want from a woman.
Men (black, white, Arab, Asian, Indies, etc) are polygamous in nature! It takes only the grace of God for a financially able man not to cheat on his partner!

That is why as a woman, u must strive to help your husband stay very close and committed to God, and the absolute fear of God in him will help him overcome infidelity or cheating!

Every man (white or black) in his natural form would always desire to explore other women other than his partner!

Some men are married to very beautiful fair skin women, yet u see them cheating with some average looking dark skin girls! Most times when u see the girl a guy is begging for sex, she is most likely uglier than his girlfriend or fiancée. Men just love adventure...their carnal mind is always wondering...so men's cheating go nothing to do with female looks most times.

A man cheating on his wife has nothing to do with how pretty or ugly she looks...men cheat because it's in their nature! only God's divine grace can stop a man from going after other women!

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