Hi everyone, I am a newbie here an Igbo by tribe and a Computer Engineer. I have been reading a lot of topics on this forum for over 1 month now. I need u guys advice and I will so much appreciate it if u could be nice to me. I am 32 years old and 4 years ago the lady (whom I loved so much) I intended to get married to disappointed me by sleeping with a friend.

Consequently, After that events I hated ladies so much, because I feel they are all cheats. A year later after a lot of friends persuassions that I should give another lady a shot of my love, I tried some ladies but unfortunately any lady i like and talk to agree but I don't ever fall in love with such ladies. I could count up to 7 ladies that have fallen in love for me but more I try to love them never come to past. I am in a horn of a dilemma. I am afraid I may get married to a lady I don't even love.

Guys/gals, what can I do to fall in love again. It seems what she did to me had damaged my heart for love.

chika i'm very sorry for that! i'll just advise u to leave her alone and pray to God to lead u to the right way .

jerryinka, I had left her 4 years ago. I have always been praying to GOD so that I could fall in love again but woo sai. Please, what can I do to fall in love again? Let us leave God out of this. I mean TRUE LOVE

chika I understand what jerry is saying. You might have left her 4 years ago PHYSICALLY but Emotionally you have not. From your story you are still hurt or angry with her. Forget her and move on. Are you not happy you found out she was a two-timing B**ch before you married her? Bone that tin. There are still good women out there, EVEN ON THIS FORUM SEF. enough hot, sexy,leggy chicks around. Go catch yourself one!

My brother, ur story is a hard shell to break

@kenflavor how do u mean?

@alheri
Thankx but that's the problem, I talk to ladies (the beautiful ones) and they fall in love with me, but I dont personally fall in love with them no matter how much I try. I gat no feelings for them the way I used to. ........like thinking about the lady, dreaming about her and so on. My heart is blunt and I have no emotional feelings for them. There was a particular one I met of late, when my friends saw her they all said wao this gal is a beautiful queen and they all admire her becos of her height and the way she speaks, but Chika doesn't feel anything for her. Can't u get me?

mm, I get you,but I think the problem is ...because of the heartbreak you got with this other girl, your ex girlfriend, then it's like you are turning a blind eye to all other girls, because you believe most girls are cheats if not all, and you don't want to believe anything else, except that,you are heartbroken, and I understand how you feel,but the thing is, that's life, we all go through heartbreaks and all that, but you've got to get on with your life, as time goes on, it's just a phase you are going through, believe me, I've been in a similar position, it's just a matter of time, and you would learn to realize that not all girls would treat you as your ex did, If you are interested in any girl then you go for her, like the girl you talking about, if you find that,you like her an all, then you ask her out, doesn't have to be her,just any girl you think would be right for you, and I promise, when you find your "other half", you'll realize that not all girls are like your ex,Trust me

Now this is one troubled young man .I recommend you took the advice of my learned colleague up(Zee)

k snazzy, can he get an advise then

what can I do to fall in love again.

... the best way to heal a broken heart is by falling in love again... but hold one glimpse "love is like fire whenever it burns, if handled roughly, it burns so u have to let go, if its urs it will come back, but if it is not, then say goodbye... being lonely will only cause you more of the pain, the only way is PRAY to GOD and pray on his leading for the choice of your One and ONLY...  (Love is not on the basis of marriage)

good thinking,lexydoo,good thinking.Now which encyclopedia did you copy that from?

Ha Ha

My brother, you definitely come across as someone who is deeply hurt. And note, I'm talking in the present.
My advice to you is :take a break from women, take a holiday or summin', go have some fun on your own and re-evaluate your situation. I think you'll find things are not as bad as they look. Imagine you married the first lady, and then later found out she was screwing a friend, you would have been more devastated than you are currently.
Try reading the following books, they might help:

1. How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days : A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life by Howard    Bronson;
2. Letting Go: A 12-Week Personal Action Program to Overcome a Broken Heart by Dr. Tracy Cabot;
3. How to Break Your Addiction to a Person by Howard Harlpen.

Goodluck Bro, and make sure the next lady is worth the trouble

@chika123
Well my dear only pray, believe God he must answer you.Don't loose hope ok?

@ Lexyflexy, I think Snazzy was only kidding,and even if she wasn't, it sounded to me like it was from an encyclopedia too, so...       "NO OFFENSE"

N now, I know you were talking from "EXPERIENCE"

Z4M4eva:

@ Lexyflexy, I think Snazzy was only kidding,and even if she wasn't, it sounded to me like it was from an encyclopedia too, so... "NO OFFENSE"

N now, I know you were talking from "EXPERIENCE"

Na u sabi...

... well I guess life is a teacher... so we live to learn from it.

@ LexyFlexy,yes we do

for me i'll say you should pray and i believe there is someone there for u
just keep on trying u would find that special gal that would heall your wounds and make u so happy that you'ld pray for sadness(hahaha)
prayer is the key

one i thing i know is dat true love is dat thing dat comes when u are busy doing something else,it doesnt come wen u ar desperately looking for it,it comes when u just take ur mind away from it,focus on someting else,it comes wen u dont even notice u cud just find in it in dat thing u see everyday.dat person u see daily.so dear just focuse on sumthing else.mayb ur career,build ur self,forgive dat other girl,u are being hurt becos u ave refused to forgive her,sometimes wen we dont forgive people we also hurt ourselves,try and forget about her,move on and love would find u,dont look for love.
cy

(feeling really cool)wow,its good to have someone look out for you,phew,it can get really hot but with someone like Z4M4EVA,....which reminds me,Zee,there's this lil girl that wants everything I want on this land,her name is ocho and her partner in crime,scorpio(n).They want to snatch 2face,whiteshark and others from me.Please come and beat them for me

Brother chika,
  I read your story and it is not touching.......... Guys hearts were created to be broken because when you guys dump girls , you no get feelings one bit for the poor babe. You leave ladies pregnant and run without pity. A lady can commit sucide because of you men and una no go even care. So enjoy your pain, l pray u find love on nairaland.


Pray about it cos u never know who u might have offended somewhere.

disney:

Brother chika,
I read your story and it is not touching.......... Guys hearts were created to be broken because when you guys dump girls , you no get feelings one bit for the poor babe. You leave a ladies pregnant and run without pity. A lady can commit sucide because of you men and una no go even care. So enjoy your pain, l pray u find love on nairaland.

Is it just me or do I sense a heartbroken girl here?Disney,hmmm!!!has a guy ever done that to you or you watch too many Nigerian movies?Guys of today don't do that,the ones I know,accept responsibilty over their actions and marry the girl(ask donone)well,its your opinion,

Well, am not broken hearted or either is nigerian movies the cause for my vexing with una guys but am just being realistic with what l see happening to my girlfriends around me to so many babes............to be realistic..............Some guys were mearnt to be broken hearted not all............but sha, chika l wish u well and pray about it cos u never know if u have offended someone somewhere.

well,i feel ur pains..sorry,your flows.

what pain,abeg?

@disney i think that's wat u gurls think but u know gurls do the greater harm to we guy's.just think when a gurl say "i don catch wan  one mugu"what does that mean.huh

First of all, I would like to say God has nothing to do with this, Why put God into this. ( I am talking to sweetini) . This is human life, not spiritual things.

Secondly, Bro i feel your pain , but you know , the only solution to this problem is for you to let you ex know that you have forgiven her and try to forgive her. I think you not forgiving her might be the main factor to your present experience. Try to forgive, talk to her and let her know how she hurt you. Me thinks you are hiding the fact you are hurt from her. I understand as a guy, and i don't blame you. but you got to do what you got to do. I think that should be the first step for you to take.

I think she was not d bone of ur bone.Ur real girl is out there waitin 2 find ur luv.I wish u luck in ur search.