Why is it that men are perceived to be impotent when they decide to wait?

Hi,

I was in the middle of a hot argument today. The topic centered around " 1 out of every 100 men would wait " I gave a scenario of a friend of mine, whose husband disvirgined on their wedding night, after a six-yr courtship.

A party to the argument was so sure my friend must have told a lie. Said he: " Go back to ur friend and tell her to be honest, her husband must be impotent, it is not possible to find such a man, it at all he'd be 1 out of 100 men"

I am convinced my friend's husband waited for 6 years, I am also aware he is not impotent as they're going to have a baby next month.

Now bail me out guys, is it true u cant wait for 6 years? Why are men perceived impotent when they decide to wait, especially that long? 1 out of 100 is 1% - thats not good enough. It could be better!

Maybe the man in question is indeed one out of a hundred!

I guess it's all a matter of mindset, and what the intention was when he got married..

If it was for companionship, then I guess there would be no problem in waiting for the Lord to bestow His Grace..

But if the intention was procreation, then one may see why the urgency may be there.. especially if one doesn't feel that there's anything physically, spiritually or medically wrong with both parties..

Take the case of a man who while having numerous affairs and flings prior to getting married, gets a girl pregnant.. He obviously knows he's capable of reproducing.. if upon marrige his spouse doesn't concieve within reasonable period, he's going to start getting suspiscious, knowing that he's been up to the task before now..

Suffice it to say that "a few good men" still exist in this world.. and that women shouldn't always stereotype and feel that men are incapable of exercising that fundamental concept called "love" or exercising patience and due discretion when due...

Indeed there are some men maybe 3 out of a hundred that can wait till it time.I have seen it happened, but one thing i am not sure is that , could my friend have done any hidden to release himself is what i can not tell,becuase to some of the men , it is burden to wait for one year not to talk of six years.

I do not think that they should be considered impotent because they decided to wait. I have got greater respect for men that are willing to wait that long to go to the next level. That is a sign of greater love. Well, some guys might think it is crazy but there are different ways for you all to release yourself without necessary sticking it into someone

(if a woman is willing to wait why cant that guy do the same? women are equally desperate and want the same thing but have better self control ...).

He does not have to get a girl pregnant to know that he is capable of aiding in multiplying the population. If they are unable to have kids well then that is God's plan. I mean he could have fathered many children and then become impotent as a punishment for his past actions.

What's the point waiting

Your honeymoon night will be so awful cos you've never done it b4, no experience

So what's the point of the honeymoon when you've done it before?

Honeymoon is not for learning, are you guys in class or what?
It's for enjoyment.

dablessed:

I gave a scenario of a friend of mine, whose husband disvirgined on their wedding night, after a six-yr courtship.

That guy should be in Guinness book.........

In that case, what makes the honeymoon different from, say, the Christmas Holidays or your normal weekend break?

That guy tried oo.
He resembled me.

How lond have I been waiting now after those cherries were popped

The guy tried, I salute him. If all the story is told in full, there must have been some kindda way he is downloading. besides what woman would be waiting and not knowing that the fellow's instrument is working?.

Secondly, if it were to be here in the States, not only he would be labelled impotent, he would be called other names too, like sissy, gay and more.

Regardless of what people say, it's always rewarding to wait, if you intend to be together for ever, why the rush?. note of warning, if you must wait, I would advise the ladies to at least see that it works.

There's is always one in every thousand guys you meet,some guys will still wait for sex,usually the matured ones and not those hungry lil chaps out there,at least if its just one guy in this whole world,my present guy is waiting and am sure he is not impotent.
It all depends on what you built your relationship on.

na lie! heavy rumour!!!

the bobo was 'easing' himself somewhere else come dey deceive im 'honey' and 'sweetie pie' sey im be virgin and that im dey wait until them marry

6 years without abunna? na lie - no naija man fit do am!!!

blacklion:

na lie! heavy rumour!!!

the bobo was 'easing' himself somewhere else come dey deceive im 'honey' and 'sweetie pie' sey im be virgin and that im dey wait until them marry

6 years without abunna? na lie - no naija man fit do am!!!

he he he

6 years ke? Try 6 months!

people are different frm one another so the guys decisionto wait is not exactly overatted. lets not see everyone in the light of our own capabilities and flaws cos that i can't do it doesnt mean everybody else can't. its all about our personal drives and motives.

@poster: thumbs up to your friend, goin by the responses on the thread,he seems to be one in a zillion!

the reason why relationships never work out is because we place so much priority on sex. if you love someone and are sure to marry her, why the rush? after the wedding she is all yours. there are men who are ready to wait. and by the grace God has given to me , i will wait till the very end. we have alredy courted for four years. mind you, i do not flirt or discharge elsewhere as you may presume. only few men know the secret and only those who truly love God know the secret. change your thinking . sex before marriage is a sin against your creator. remain blessed.

camchupa:

t[b]he reason why relationships never work out is because we place so much priority on sex. if you love someone and are sure to marry her, why the rush? after the wedding she is all yours.[/b] there are men who are ready to wait. and by the grace God has given to me , i will wait till the very end. we have alredy courted for four years. mind you, i do not flirt or discharge elsewhere as you may presume. only few men know the secret and only those who truly love God know the secret. change your thinking . sex before marriage is a sin against your creator. remain blessed.

Hmmmn. May God give you the grace to wait for the Prize that awaits your patience. Patience is a virtue, and the patient dog eat the fattest bone.

@Blacklion: You remarked "6 years without abunna? na lie - no naija man fit do am!!!"

I abstained from sex between 1993 October and March 2004. I was in America during the period. I did not go on dates or have any girlfriend during the said time.

So, as a Nigerian, I make bold to say that there are men who can abstain from sex.

@Multioption

Lie Lie

U seem like the worst hypocrite 0n Nairaland.
Do u think we are all dumb?
i mean how can u just pop in and post such a thang?

U are Lyyyyyin!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!

I dey vex o!!!!!!!!

Y i can neva believe u.
U have had sex b4 so u know wat its like.
U said u did not have any girl or any date thru out the period.-That implies that you are not strong willed.

You also failed to tell us whether u were gay of indulged in masturbation during the said period.

Lie Lie Man

Does it matter if you believe, Hammer? What good or purpose will it serve if you believe? Sorry, hammer, I am not a debtor to the flesh to obey it in the lust thereof, for I have been set free from the law of sin and death.

I am not gay, nor indulged in masturbation because "they that are Christ have crucified the flesh and the passions thereof" Galatians 5:24

If there is anyone here who is struggling with the flesh, I would recommend you read the teachings by Bro. Watchman Nee: Link to "The Overcoming Life" can be found here: http://www.ministrybooks.org/books.cfm?id=%23%29%40X%2B%0A

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. - Galatians 2:20

I still dont believe.

Y then did u go back to sex after such a long time?

Na lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

The message of the cross is foolishness to them that perish, so your skepticism is well in order (justifiable).

I got married!

U mean u got married without a date?

I was engaged before leaving Nigeria for America. Returned to Nigeria to wed my bride!

Excellent! Shame to bad people, shame to bad people, God's time is the best.

U mean u were engaged for 11 years.

please house give me a good reason y i should believe this guy.

oooooooooh!!!!!

U mean your patient wife waited for 11 long years?

From 1993 to 2004

You only have one life, all you achieve by waiting is to cut down the time you have in this one life on earth to experience pleasure.

Reverend:

You only have one life, all you achieve by waiting is to cut down the time you have in this one life on earth to experience pleasure.

still ur personal point of view which doesnt make it a fact much less a truth.

@reverend

philosophical

@arianne

still your own perception which doesnt make it a fact much less a truth.

Why should anyone give a f*ck bout others' perceptions?
U wanna wait, wait. U wanna f*ck, f*ck.
Live by ur own f*cking principles if u got any.
F*ck what pple think and live ur life.

NiyiRocks!:

Why should anyone give a f*ck bout others' perceptions?
You want to wait, wait. You want to f*ck, f*ck.
Live by your own f*cking principles if u got any.
F*ck what people think and live your life.

Wow, what an elegant and educated use of the Queens English