tobaseye:
I live abroad at the moment, I will be 36yrs by May


The problem I have now is that, I met another lady before I left Nigeria. She is a family friend, she came with her siblings to visit my parents on the 1st of January and we talked for few minutes before she left. But that night I was restless and could not sleep because I didn’t take her contact. I was so troubled because I had just one week to leave Nigeria and I was not sure of seeing her again because I don't live with my parents, was just there for two days visit. I need serious advice please!!!
Thanks.

Then some people will be telling me crap.

Bro, i feel you..u know love is a beautiful thing, i will suggest you go with the lady your mind is at peace with.

Do not marry someone based on self pity or what her family will say afterwards, its only one life, you cannot afford to make a lifetime mistake.

I believe prayer can help you too.

Final suggesstion: Follow your mind, follow peace in choosing them. may God help you.

Pray about it...and follow your mind....

At 36, you can't take decisions that matter to your life. Oga, take responsibility for yourself and and actions you make.

The answer u seek is right in the inside of u. Do not ignore your gut feeling. U love her, go for her. U dont love her, let her be. She can forgive u if u leave her now buh she will never forgive u if u cheat and prolly may someday divorce her after marriage.

NB: Flee from the ones that will advice u on NL to pray. Honestly u dont need prayers now. What u need is to make use of your #commonsense.

tobaseye DL things

tobaseye:
I live abroad at the moment, I will be 36yrs by May this year. I proposed to a lady I met some months before I left Nigeria in 2015, we did not have any contact while I was in Nigeria, and as at the time I proposed to her she had not met me in person because I did not approach her then. I asked someone to get me her contact while I was in abroad and contacted her thereafter. I involved the church because we both attend the same church, and one must seek the permission of the marriage committee of the church before approaching a lady in the church which I did before contacting her. We started chatting and asked her to send me her current pictures, because she hardly takes pictures and there were no current pictures of her on her Facebook wall. After I got some of her current pictures, I found out that her look does not attract me anymore but still continue chatting with her. But I encourage her to make good pictures and send to me.
After some month I was given the permission from the Church to propose to her, which I refused and told my Pastor and the marriage committee that am planning to go to Nigeria in some months to come that I will do that when I get to Nigeria, though I was persuaded to propose but I still maintained my stand that until I get to Nigeria before I will propose.
When I got to Nigeria I proposed to her after one week but told one of my close friend that the woman am about to get marriage to is not that attractive to me that I don't even feel the urge to call her phone, that I only forced myself to call her phone when I even manage to call her.
But with all these, I still go ahead to do parental consent in which I met her family and she also met my family. Thereafter, the church gave us the permission to commence courtship but we are yet to start the courtship.
She asked me not quite long why I delayed to propose to her and I told her that I just felt things are just going too fast.
The problem I have now is that, I met another lady before I left Nigeria. She is a family friend, she came with her siblings to visit my parents on the 1st of January and we talked for few minutes before she left. But that night I was restless and could not sleep because I didn’t take her contact. I was so troubled because I had just one week to leave Nigeria and I was not sure of seeing her again because I don't live with my parents, was just there for two days visit. I was supposed to leave my parent’s house the following day but I could not leave because I said I need to find a way of getting her contact. With the help of my mum I was able to get her house address and I visited her house uninvited. She was surprised to see me that morning we talked for some minutes, took her contact and take my leave. we have been chatting since then.
The problem is that I like this new lady so much but am afraid of hurting my girlfriend and the her family and I don't know what to do because I am of age, I have waited for so long, I want get it right and I want to enjoy my marriage. I don't want to cheat on my wife after marriage.
The relationship I have now is my first relationship, it is now about 7 months but my girlfriend just met me in person in December, just less than two month ago.
The relationship is first for two reasons; one is because my church does not encourage boyfriend and girlfriend relationship and two, some friends that I had asked out over some years now were in a serious relationship before I met them.
For the last 10 years I have only asked 3 girls out before my current girlfriend, two of which are my very close friends but were in serious relationship before I met them. The third one was not that close but she refused me said we can only be friends.
I don't even know if my new crush is even in a relationship too or not.
I need serious advice please!!!
Thanks.

bros forget that girl!

one ab0ki with big prick dey service her well well!

find one White chick for there na

why you dey mumu like this. our naija women na useless piece of Shiite!


never you have pity on any black woman because our black women don't have pity and self respect for there self!

all there ever think of is money and prick!

your prick and money can never be enough for our naija woman.
once she tasted your prick and money, she will still go out for a greener prick and money

your prick and money can never satisfy a naija woman!

those useless set of black women species are blood tasting prick and money parasite....


DONT TRUST A BLACK WOMAN

hmmm

MrMcJay:
Pray - Pastor - Pray - Marriage Committee - Propose - Courtship, etc.

.

you forgot PC

MrHighSea:
Omehn, i no read dt tin. Wetin dy happen?

I still dey read am bros. I go tell you after I don read finish.

Hmmmmmmm! Wonderful! My dear u are confused within urself, what do u really want?

Imagine, at 36 u lack d willpower to take decision on an issue that will determine your destiny. It's a pity. Abi na jazz dey work u?

wellmax:
you forgot PC

Haaaaa! U sef sabi!

You need 3 Night Crusade. What do you want? Go for it.

Appearance is different from Character. Guy luck up and start afresh ...
You want some specific type of lady, that you cannot be guaranteed.
With your type of setup/build up, my advice is that explain the matter to your mama.
If you really want to have a good wife for naija, you need to create time and mingle with the society.
6 month small, a year or so ... the way relationship dey work for abroad different from naija own.
In short, your only solution na your mama cuz if any friend advice you ... you will burst more than the one you're required to.

YOU SOUND LIKE A BELIEVER!!

IF U ARE CONSULT THE ALMIGHTY GOD!
ASK HIM WITH AN OPEN AND HONEST MIND!
AM SO HE WILL LET U KNOW YOUR MISSING ROB

This ur matter get as e be.. .

I hope when you meet another lady in abroad nd fall in love.... U go come ask for more advice here.. ..

Goodluck bro...

You obviously didn't hear from God on this matter, that's why you are confused now. Go back to God ask for His help and He will. When it is God's leading your mind will be at rest. Talk to your pastor.

Y do u ask me, I'm not the love doctor

tobaseye:
I live abroad at the moment, I will be 36yrs by May this year. I proposed to a lady I met some months before I left Nigeria in 2015, we did not have any contact while I was in Nigeria, and as at the time I proposed to her she had not met me in person because I did not approach her then. I asked someone to get me her contact while I was in abroad and contacted her thereafter. I involved the church because we both attend the same church, and one must seek the permission of the marriage committee of the church before approaching a lady in the church which I did before contacting her. We started chatting and asked her to send me her current pictures, because she hardly takes pictures and there were no current pictures of her on her Facebook wall. After I got some of her current pictures, I found out that her look does not attract me anymore but still continue chatting with her. But I encourage her to make good pictures and send to me.
After some month I was given the permission from the Church to propose to her, which I refused and told my Pastor and the marriage committee that am planning to go to Nigeria in some months to come that I will do that when I get to Nigeria, though I was persuaded to propose but I still maintained my stand that until I get to Nigeria before I will propose.
When I got to Nigeria I proposed to her after one week but told one of my close friend that the woman am about to get marriage to is not that attractive to me that I don't even feel the urge to call her phone, that I only forced myself to call her phone when I even manage to call her.
But with all these, I still go ahead to do parental consent in which I met her family and she also met my family. Thereafter, the church gave us the permission to commence courtship but we are yet to start the courtship.
She asked me not quite long why I delayed to propose to her and I told her that I just felt things are just going too fast.
The problem I have now is that, I met another lady before I left Nigeria. She is a family friend, she came with her siblings to visit my parents on the 1st of January and we talked for few minutes before she left. But that night I was restless and could not sleep because I didn’t take her contact. I was so troubled because I had just one week to leave Nigeria and I was not sure of seeing her again because I don't live with my parents, was just there for two days visit. I was supposed to leave my parent’s house the following day but I could not leave because I said I need to find a way of getting her contact. With the help of my mum I was able to get her house address and I visited her house uninvited. She was surprised to see me that morning we talked for some minutes, took her contact and take my leave. we have been chatting since then.
The problem is that I like this new lady so much but am afraid of hurting my girlfriend and the her family and I don't know what to do because I am of age, I have waited for so long, I want get it right and I want to enjoy my marriage. I don't want to cheat on my wife after marriage.
The relationship I have now is my first relationship, it is now about 7 months but my girlfriend just met me in person in December, just less than two month ago.
The relationship is first for two reasons; one is because my church does not encourage boyfriend and girlfriend relationship and two, some friends that I had asked out over some years now were in a serious relationship before I met them.
For the last 10 years I have only asked 3 girls out before my current girlfriend, two of which are my very close friends but were in serious relationship before I met them. The third one was not that close but she refused me said we can only be friends.
I don't even know if my new crush is even in a relationship too or not.
I need serious advice please!!!
Thanks.

At your age you still depend on pastor and men of God to tell you how to live your life. Smh

but why propose wen ur having doubts..yes age is not by ur side but the truth is, its not ur age that will make ur marriage work, u need to be happy n frankly u should be honest with ur self...this marriage ish is not a days job..n for the new crush, maybe she has some personality deposition in her that you love...it might be infatuation..
so my advise is sit down n remember what made you to be attracted to ur gf in d first place...then u talk to her based on what u've reasoned out...but I beg of u if in any way u find out that ur still not happy n still not convinced to take the next step with her, pls jst walk away...

Benita27:
At the embolden, even after he stated he forces himself to call her cos he isn't attracted to her?, whoever he gets support from is inconsequential bro!, marriage is a life long commitment, parents and pastors are not the ones to live with whoever he marries.

God will bless you more than you can ever imagine in your life.
Marriage is a life time course, you don't go into it out of pity

All I could see in all your story is that you are not in love with the other girl. And please, don't because of your church drag yourself into that marriage with the lady, so that both of you will not suffer for it.

Be a man. Take a break and re-search for another bird. My one pence though!

Be good.

After some month I was given the permission from the Church to propose to her,

Ok, I was about to give my own advice, but den, dis line struck me cold and I lost idea of the wat to say

bro, marriage is a lifelong commitment, its forever so u hv to be careful. don't marry out of pity or sentiment. from ur long piece, I can see dat you don't completely or really love dis girl enough to marry her and u r going to cheat on her if u go ahead to marry her trust me, so just pray hard about it and afterwards, if you still don't hv peace about the relationship or taking the next step in it, just quit!..... but sha u'll break d girl's heart o chai, 7months?? nd u r just realising dis now #wehdonesir

tobaseye:


That's why I have been bothered. I can claim to love her and still be having feeling for another girl. I can't love two people at the same time.

Marriage requires more than feelings... Feelings fizzle away... Look for a woman that can keep and make a home..

One that will be a support system to you...
A great mother and an adorable wife..

Not all that gilitters is gold ohh
..some na romanian steel.
Finally, good things sometimes do not come in attractive packages..

Study both ladies and see who has the traits to make a good home
feelings should be secondary ohh.....

Bros marriage is not something you rush in so that you won't rush out. Keep physical beauty aside. There was something you saw in her that made you see her as a wife material. Let's forget church for now cos it's only two of you that will stay together and not church. Sometimes the devil might want to deprive you of your joy by bringing distraction. On the other hand this new girl what qualities have you found in her? What if she is in a relationship and just want someone to play around? I won't tell you to choose anyone. Take sometime off go back to your God talk to him. And pls if you are convince you don't want your wife to be. The earlier you let her know the better to avoid wasting her time. God will see you through.

tobaseye:
I live abroad at the moment, I will be 36yrs by May this year. I proposed to a lady I met some months before I left Nigeria in 2015, we did not have any contact while I was in Nigeria, and as at the time I proposed to her she had not met me in person because I did not approach her then. I asked someone to get me her contact while I was in abroad and contacted her thereafter. I involved the church because we both attend the same church, and one must seek the permission of the marriage committee of the church before approaching a lady in the church which I did before contacting her. We started chatting and asked her to send me her current pictures, because she hardly takes pictures and there were no current pictures of her on her Facebook wall. After I got some of her current pictures, I found out that her look does not attract me anymore but still continue chatting with her. But I encourage her to make good pictures and send to me.
After some month I was given the permission from the Church to propose to her, which I refused and told my Pastor and the marriage committee that am planning to go to Nigeria in some months to come that I will do that when I get to Nigeria, though I was persuaded to propose but I still maintained my stand that until I get to Nigeria before I will propose.
When I got to Nigeria I proposed to her after one week but told one of my close friend that the woman am about to get marriage to is not that attractive to me that I don't even feel the urge to call her phone, that I only forced myself to call her phone when I even manage to call her.
But with all these, I still go ahead to do parental consent in which I met her family and she also met my family. Thereafter, the church gave us the permission to commence courtship but we are yet to start the courtship.
She asked me not quite long why I delayed to propose to her and I told her that I just felt things are just going too fast.
The problem I have now is that, I met another lady before I left Nigeria. She is a family friend, she came with her siblings to visit my parents on the 1st of January and we talked for few minutes before she left. But that night I was restless and could not sleep because I didn’t take her contact. I was so troubled because I had just one week to leave Nigeria and I was not sure of seeing her again because I don't live with my parents, was just there for two days visit. I was supposed to leave my parent’s house the following day but I could not leave because I said I need to find a way of getting her contact. With the help of my mum I was able to get her house address and I visited her house uninvited. She was surprised to see me that morning we talked for some minutes, took her contact and take my leave. we have been chatting since then.
The problem is that I like this new lady so much but am afraid of hurting my girlfriend and the her family and I don't know what to do because I am of age, I have waited for so long, I want get it right and I want to enjoy my marriage. I don't want to cheat on my wife after marriage.
The relationship I have now is my first relationship, it is now about 7 months but my girlfriend just met me in person in December, just less than two month ago.
The relationship is first for two reasons; one is because my church does not encourage boyfriend and girlfriend relationship and two, some friends that I had asked out over some years now were in a serious relationship before I met them.
For the last 10 years I have only asked 3 girls out before my current girlfriend, two of which are my very close friends but were in serious relationship before I met them. The third one was not that close but she refused me said we can only be friends.
I don't even know if my new crush is even in a relationship too or not.
I need serious advice please!!!
Thanks.

Shey nah your church go marry the girl for you ?

My church said, my pastor said, her family said.

You are not ripe for marriage..

Dude!

Do both of you a BIG favor, don't marry her, be open and tell her the reason.

Also, don't keep her waiting, you are tying her down, the early you release her, the better. Be a man, summon the courage and make that call and tell her that, you are sorry that it is not going to work.

In life, you have to learn that, no matter what you do, it is impossible to please everyone. No matter where you face while standing, your back will still be turned against half of the planet and it's beauty and that is how it is in life.

your case is similar to one married olosho here on Nairaland camouflaging as romance writer to do coded internet runs
They marry for marriage sake without proper counsel and consideration. They will now go about looking for young naive boys to take advantage of, even boys below 18yrs are not spared

@OP don't be like those ones in loveless marriages who hide secretly to call opposite sex at ungodly hours.. free the babe if you are not so attached, you'll surely meet new, cool ones

But your age sha.. it's far gone

If u don't have feelings for someone I suggest u allow her go and focus on the lady u love, simple....

U be big fool permission of the church to propose. So the church will now give u permission to sleep with ur her when u do make up ur mind to marry her. Na small small boy dey worrry u

If u don't love her pls let her go. If u marry her and break up with her ul make matters worse.