Hi all. It never cease to amase me why some chaps don't run out of excuse to dump someone. I think some of us are magicians when it come to using words.

I mediated in a conflict and have his permission to share.

A guy has been in a deep relationship with a lady for the last six months. And the two has been seriously talking about marriage. Thex share time and resource together and are intimately close. Both are looking forward to having a date fixed for introduction.

Sudddenly, just over a month ago, the babe changed and started avoiding the guy.

And then came this month, the two talked. The lady praised the guy for being cool compassionate and caring. But she calmly told the guy that they have to part. When probed further, she gave the following parable : It is revealed to me to go after the man who loves me but I dont love. The man who love me and I love, I cannot marry. I will learn to love the man I dont love after marriage!"

The guy got the hint but probed further, knowing that he was the man who loves her and she love. To his chargrin the babe said he "is too good to be in a relationship!"

Confused, and feeling cheated, the man angrily left her. And as at today, the babe maintained that stand and thus come to an end a wonderful relationship.

I found this strange and wish I share. What will make people end affair just like that and still proud to give that kind of excuse? Can someone indeed, be too good to marry?

NB. The guy is a poor struggling guy and told me that the babe has an ex abroad who was trying to come back to her life, though she claimed she dont love him.

You've said it all!
'Poor and still struggling' what most women cant take. Infact the lady is really not in for the real thing, and the guy give her all the love he has. What do you then expect

NB= Ladies are not to be treated like queens or else you endup bitting your fingers!

Tell your friend not to bother his head with such a girl. A similar thing happened to me close to a year ago, Im so over the guy now and I have someone great now

oh what a story

I think that was just an excuse,the real thing is that she wants the guy with the dough but just wouldn't be straightforward about it.

henryhemon:

I think that was just an excuse,the real thing is that she wants the guy with the dough but just wouldn't be straightforward about it.

Then when the man dumps her she comes running back to you

She sucks!!! And the dude beta start making some money lest this happens over and over again. . .

I dont believe th story!

Even though a lot of females will deny reality and attack me for expressing this, I will nevertheless say it. The nicer you treat a lot of women, the more they lose interest in you. We all know that it is elementary to say that nice guys finish last, and, sadly, women flock to you when you are arrogant and self-serving; it's just life. That is to say, if he was a bonafide player who played games and had a cauldron of women, the atmosphere of competition with other females may motivate her to stay. Also, if her boyfriend divided his attention among other females, the speculation about the reasons for not wholeheartedly focusing on her may also drive her to desire him more.

Princek12:

Even though a lot of females will deny reality and attack me for expressing this, I will nevertheless say it. The nicer you treat a lot of women, the more they lose interest in you. We all know that it is elementary to say that nice guys finish last, and, sadly, women flock to you when you are arrogant and self-serving; it's just life. That is to say, if he was a bonafide player who played games and had a cauldron of women, the atmosphere of competition with other females may motivate her to stay. Also, if her boyfriend divided his attention among other females, the speculation about the reasons for not wholeheartedly focusing on her may also drive her to desire him more.

No, nice guys finish in the shower! Seriously tho, I totally agree with your point. I know boys who are downright mean to chicks, yet they still run to them in droves.

^^^

I disagree. Just because a guy is a good player and a liar, and d/4 manages to deceive girls into dating him dosent mean gilr are attracted to bad guys.

They just fall for their lies and deceit. No reasonable girl will want to be with a guy that dosent treat her right.

Ujujoan:

^^^

I disagree. Just because a guy is a good player and a liar, and d/4 manages to deceive girls into dating him dosent mean gilr are attracted to bad guys.

They just fall for their lies and deceit. [b]No reasonable girl [/b]will want to be with a guy that dosent treat her right.

Up till this day I have not met, and don't expect, to meet a woman who will admit to the allegation that they are attracted to bad boys. The excuse is always that they fell for their deceit and lies of these bad boys. A lot of these women knowingly date players and bad boys under the assumption that they have the magic wand to change the character of such men. And when they fail to do the impossible, to change such person's character, instead of looking in the mirror and assuming responsibility, they blame other men and society at large.
As to your assertion about how a reasonable woman will refrain from dating guys who do not treat her right, you will have to take a poll to find out the percentage of reasonable women and ask the legions of women who continue to knowingly date and stay with losers; and you will also have to ask the legions women who claim that they were "deceived" into dating losers but continue to date them after finding out that their significant other is a loser.

@poster:her reason myt still be a good one, i posted a thread sometime ago," said love the one you marry and not the one you love"
but the guy from abroadtell your friend to put his self together and travel abroad one day as well, lol

To cut a long story short.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none. -William Shakespeare

@ujojuan,
Better believe the story! It is very real. And i have shorten it because those are the fact.
@iice,
I think I used my own word for the title. I used that, because that is my interpretation of what she meant.

@all,
The girl has since returned to the guy (as friends) but the two are still trashing it out. I think the guy arranged a meeting and agreed to end the affair with two conditions. 1, that she must tell him what was actually wrong with him so that he would avoid it in his future relationship. And 2, she must remain his friend and the communicate as if nothing happened. The girl couldnt say what was wrong, though the answer, according to the guy was glaring. But she did agree to friendship. How the experiment will end, I dont know.

I supported his action for some reasons.
1. He will have d chance to know what was missing in him. If indeed it is money, he could make amend or find his class.
2. The lady's statement is puzzling, we want to know much more about it. It carries so many hidden interpretation.

I think the best way to know a thief before he rob you is to consciously place something he lacks where he alone can see it. If it disappeared, we know who look for.



@per those who said the nicer you are to some ladies the more the chance of losing them, I must agree to this irrational postulation because it is true in many cases (though not all cases).

We continue to find ladies that deny this, but who themselves are active in promoting the irrationalities. I can say from personal experience that most ladies subconsciously spurn and maltreat nice men. I have even heard words like "mugu" "weak" used for such guys. The arguments used by many was that they cant marry a weak husband. Unfortunately, nice men in most cases project weakness to such women. I have studied this phenomenon myself and can tell that it is real.

But to guys out there. Caution is the word! Not every lady want abrash tough guys. Human beings are just too complex to be grouped under one doctrine. There are eggs, and there are eggs. I wish I have time to write more and blog on it.

No lady wants to get dumped or hurt~
the attraction dosn't occur on the superficial~
their unconscious minds think different and wants different from their conscious, and it knows best
so they still endup with dat player