Remii:


It has been practiced in the past and abandoned, so going back to it would be retrogressive, lol.

Polygamy was also practiced in the past in the West, and it was found to be morally deficient and a way of oppressing the opposite gender… but you won’t be convinced because you’re programmed to follow your tradition blindly, no matter how educated you are. There are doctors out there who feel women should be mutilated, all in the name of female circumcision. So I am not surprised at all.

wirinet:

It is not people making assertions that women are naturally more than men, population census of most countries in the world support that assertion and the reasons are not too far fetched.

Nigeria - Sex ratio:    
at birth: 1.06 male(s)/female
under 15 years: 1.05 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 1.04 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 0.94 male(s)/female
total population: 1.04 male(s)/female (2009 est.)

A male/female ratio of 1.04 does not in any way equate to a ratio Female/Male of 2:1. As a matter of fact it indicates that there are slightly more men than women. This practice is strictly economic oppression of women by cowardice Nigerian men. I don’t know any woman who’s happy to be in polygamy – they simply take it because they have no better alternative, economically.

I do think with my brain, but I allow my conscience to make moral decisions for me.

brooknam99:

Eziachi u still claiming to be a doctor? with all those grammatical missiles?lol. maybe i shouldnt doubt u seeing as im a united states senator myself

If I kept on this particular issue with you, it will mean, wasting my time, so I will rather leave you to it. If it makes you happy, then good luck to you. Before you start challenging other people's grammatical error in an internet thread, where you have constantly use LOL to make a point, then you have to look at yourself first.
If someone decide to write in broken English, that is fine by me, as long as I get the point the person is putting across. For you to contantly insult me and kept calling me a liar because being a doctor is a big thing for you, is very uncalled for. If you have any sort of personality issue with profession, then it is not my fault.

If being a medical doctor is a big deal to you that it will stunt your positive contribution to this thread, then without much kick-off- I will withdraw it. I hereby declare that I am not a doctor as demanded by one BROOKNAM99.
Now, can there be peace?

i refuse to support any such barbaric ban. it would be out of place and cannot be justified without piteous sentiments, which stem from jealousy.

H2O2:

i refuse to support any such barbaric ban.  it would be out of place and cannot be justified without piteous sentiments, which stem from jealousy.

What makes it barbaric? And why is the same barbaric law acceptable to western moslems?

Ok guys, since this topic has lost it's original track of being a health issue and decended into a moral issue. Let us then discuss the merit of polygamy in your individual lives. Let us consider these questions:
1. Are you a product of polygamy?
2. Are you already in a polygamous relationship?

3. What are your reasons?

4. If you are not, why not?

5. If you are in it already, how did you break the news to your first wife?

6. What is the living arrangement?

7. If you are already married, did you tell your western wife or girlfriend about your marital status?

8. How many children have you got now as a result?

9. Will you allow your daughter to become a second, third wife?

10. How cordial are your wives with each other?

Eziachi:

What makes it barbaric? And why is the same barbaric law acceptable to western moslems?

Since when did western moslems become trendsetters or dictators of acceptable morals?
It's barbaric because it attempts to shun people of a lifestyle without proper explanation.
I just hope I don't have to belabor this point. I don't fancy having to argue ad-infinitum.

tensor777:

^^That is exactly what this thread is about. Certainly there is the fact polygamous men who happen to commit adultery,with for instance harlots have caught AIDS and transmitted same to their wives and concubines at home.
The fallout of this is seen throughout rural areas in East and Southern Africa where whole villages have been decimated by AIDS.
So there is a fatal sequence of events initiated by the polygamist that leads to a chain reaction of death,orphanage and destitution,
The point of promulagting such a law is that it sends a signal to male adulterers in Africa that there will be  painful consequences for their misbehaviour and simultaneously empowers the wife in the marriage.

I don't believe any law will stop adultery, thats very wishful thinking. And besides if a man marries who ever/ how ever many women he wants to that will stop the risk of women passing AIDS onto other partners, this is another look on the matter.

Will You Support Any Law Against Polygamy?

Yes,yes and yes, ! Polygamy is even affecting our economy in one way or the other!

@ poster = those women are simply stupid and greedy. Theya marry the richest man they can find irrespective of whether he is married or not. Yaradua's daughters all married governors as 2nd and 3rd wives just to satisfy their greed. I can never marry 2 women. Nobody should ban polygamy. Those stupid enough to go into it should have themselves to blame

Polygamy is even affecting our economy in one way or the other

GBAM GBAM. the president as example

The solution to adultery and polygamy is for women to leave other women's husbands alone. The greatest threat to the marriage institution globally is unscrupulous women who will stop @ nothing to get @ a man's money. If there's no one selling there'll be no one buying. Shikena

@ BrutusOne
Some women are happy wiv the polygamous arrangements and idea or what would be the explanation behind Nafisa Yar adua being the 4th wife of Governor Isa Yuguda. Note that Nafisa has money, power and education, so what do u think is her reason for not going for a fresh guy, it beats me.

I repeat again that I am against Polygamy buy I think it should not be banned but placed under strict regulation that will make it difficult for people to practice.

ezeagu:

I don't believe any law will stop adultery, thats very wishful thinking. And besides if a man marries who ever/ how ever many women he wants to that will stop the risk of women passing AIDS onto other partners, this is another look on the matter.

You are quite right that no law will stop adultery, just as we had found that no law can stop stealing as well but the fact remains that if law recognise adultery as a break of contract of marriage, the cheating person, pays a heavy price, just as Tiger Wood will soon find out in a possible divorce settlement with his wife. So in the west, you can secretly be as adulterous as you like, but once you are caught, your wife or husband will take you for the cleaners.

But in our culture, polygamy had legalized adultery, so you can engaged in adultery as much as you can, as long as you call the women involved your wives and whenever you want, you can send them packing and no quetsion asked. Next time, you fancy a girl, all you have to do is to add her as one of your collections.

obiflex:

@ poster =  those women are simply silly and greedy. Theya marry the richest man they can find irrespective of whether he is married or not. Yaradua's daughters all married governors as 2nd and 3rd wives just to satisfy their greed. I can never marry 2 women. Nobody should ban polygamy. Those silly enough to go into it should have themselves to blame

Good point.
When the president of a nation is busy pimping her young daughter to men of his own age as 2nd or even 3rd wives, all in the name of culture and religion.

PupetMasta:

@ BrutusOne
Some women are happy wiv the polygamous arrangements and idea or what would be the explanation behind Nafisa Yar adua being the 4th wife of Governor Isa Yuguda. Note that Nafisa has money, power and education, so what do u think is her reason for not going for a fresh guy, it beats me.

I repeat again that I am against Polygamy buy I think it should not be banned but placed under strict regulation that will make it difficult for people to practice.

I think you got some good points there. I think Yar Adua's daughters married those guys because of power. Remember that power is an opium for people of the North, what did they know about the word love?
I wonder, how many of them married for love, because you can't really have a romantic love for more than one person at the same time, in my opinion.

PupetMasta:

@ BrutusOne
Some women are happy wiv the polygamous arrangements and idea or what would be the explanation behind Nafisa Yar adua being the 4th wife of Governor Isa Yuguda. Note that Nafisa has money, power and education, so what do u think is her reason for not going for a fresh guy, it beats me.

I repeat again that I am against Polygamy buy I think it should not be banned but placed under strict regulation that will make it difficult for people to practice.

I will like to know why you are against it.
Also, what kinda strict law do you think will work and why would you wanna make it difficult to allow people do it, what is a crime of a man that married more than one wife, and what crime has a woman that allowed her husband to marry more than one wife committed ?

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY GOD DID NOT CREATE 3 OR 4 EVE'S FOR ADAM? ANYBODY WHO PREACHES POLIGAMY SHOULD BE IGNORED.
POLIGAMY BREEDS UNHEALTHY COPETITION THAT WILL RESULT INTO DIABOLIC MEANS OF DOING THINGS

PupetMasta:

@ BrutusOne
Some women are happy wiv the polygamous arrangements and idea or what would be the explanation behind Nafisa Yar adua being the 4th wife of Governor Isa Yuguda. Note that Nafisa has money, power and education, so what do u think is her reason for not going for a fresh guy, it beats me.

I repeat again that I am against Polygamy buy I think it should not be banned but placed under strict regulation that will make it difficult for people to practice.

*I'm laughing  in my native language and speaking in tongues * 

See, No woman underneath this earth is happy with sharing her husband with another woman! Never , There can be peace O , in some cases whereby the wives are mature (40-50 sha) But i'm telling you that deep down in them,They're not happy with it,They want to have the man alone,they want to do everything with their husband alone,they don't appreciate or welcome third party!

I use to include this situation once in a while in my prayer,I don't want polygamous fam, ! I can never,ever,ever in my life marry 1/half wife not to talk of 2  Laye laye! bye bye to any other lady once i've taken one to the altar and say I DO. 

PupetMasta:

I repeat again that I am against Polygamy buy I think it should not be banned but placed under strict regulation that will make it difficult for people to practice.

What exactly does strictly regulating polygamy mean?? In fact by attempting to regulate it could be seen as a way of condoning it.
An outright ban is much better as it would send a strong signal to would be male adulterers that their behaviour is socially unacceptable.

I wont support it.

Why should we outlaw it? Its unNigerian

Fhemmmy:

I will like to know why you are against it.
Also, what kinda strict law do you think will work and why would you wanna make it difficult to allow people do it, what is a crime of a man that married more than one wife, and what crime has a woman that allowed her husband to marry more than one wife committed ?

Nothing is a crime unless there is a law against it. I haven't seen any polygamy that was based on love. Its always about the first wife, therefore a new wife had to come in and take her place when she is not as pecky as she use to be in her young.

If there is any woman born on this earth, who will be happy to share her husband, let us hear from her. Just like, no man on this thread had agreed that he will be willing to share his wife with another man but turn around to say it's okay, if only the sharing is subject to women only.

Polygamy breed poverty, unless the man is super rich, as there will never enough to go round every child. Not just financial matters only, but moral, psychological bond between a child and hsi father will be little or nothing because, he has divided loyalty as he try to balance everybody.
It is hard enough trying to please one woman, let a lone more than one.
And the creator of man "God" is not stupid, whe he gave Adam just Eve.
What God has yoked together, let no man/woman puts assunder- where does the second wife comes into this equation?

Eziachi
@ ^{I think you got some good points there. I think Yar Adua's daughters married those guys because of power. Remember that power is an opium for people of the North, what did they know about the word love?
I wonder, how many of them married for love, because you can't really have a romantic love for more than one person at the same time, in my opinion}

U got to be kidding me. How could yar'dua's daughter marry a guy becuase of power? Yar'dua is more powerful than the governor and this lady could have married any man she wanted. I think you have got a warped eurocentric view of love that is always prounced by parties in order to get to their immediate needs.

^^There is nothing eurocentric or afrocentric about love. It is a universal human feeling and emotion. Practically it is based on doing unto others as you would wish to  be done unto yourself.
Would any polygamist for instance agree to share his wife with another man? No. So by 'marrying' another 'wife' he is already going against the commandments of God that a man should love his wife. It is that simple.

This will be an epistle o!
I have read all these posts and l was also "laughing in my native language"! From the mischievous, to the bizarre, to the religious come moralistic and so on!!
But then, l made a few observations that l want to share:
First What is Polygamy? Is there a difference between Polygamy and Bigamy?
Polygamy is when one person (male/female) is married to more than one spouse, at a time.
Bigamy is when a spouse (male/female) who is married already, mis-represents his/her marital status and deceives a "third-party" (male/female), into another marriage (The key word here is "lying" that you're unmarried, when you actually are).
So, there is a big difference between the two and it spoofs me as l have seen many inter-changing one for the other.

In most countries of the world (including Nigeria!), BIGAMY is a criminal offense.
In Nigeria, it is 5yrs imprisonment when found guilty, no story.

Having explained the above, the question of the day was whether Polygamy should be proscribed or not.
Everyone has their own opinion (on why they take a position) and it should be a "healthy debate" without the kind of insults l have seen passed from one to another.
To put it mildly, it is sheer ignorance if you can not disagree with somebody's opinion/position on a subject of debate, without being insultive!

As they say, another man's meat is another man's Poison
Again, you can argue "a position" without subscribing to that position in your own personal life.
A lawyer who defends an alleged  thief or murderer in court, is not him/herself a thief or a murderer, he/she is just "adopting a position" on the issue at stake.
I am stating the above because l noticed that a lot of people dont want to get involved in certain discussions for fear of being stereotyped and maligned! This does not augur well for a healthy debate and you can only have intelligent resolutions, from a healthy debate.

Hot topics like these include, but not limited to:
-Should Govt ban abortion?
-Should the death Penalty be abolished? (Even for Armed Robbers and Looting Politicians )
-Should married women retain their father's name and the men bear such names?  (dont leave that mouth open, why not?  )
-Should Homosexuality be legalized?
-Is bestiality wrong? e.t.c

God made one man, married him one woman.
So we can reason that God intended it to be so? But then, there are numerous "men of God" (l mean real ones of the olden days) who had more than one wife and it did not stop God himself from 'associating and fellowshiping' with them!
Example are David (who the Bible calls 'Apple of God's eye'), Abraham (God's friend), Solomon (most blessed and wisest) Isaac, e.t.c.

Thus, we can safely reason that having more than one 'wife' does not make you "out-of-sync" with God (lets leave the hypocrites for now  )
From the above, we can also conclude that having one or more 'wife' has nothing to do with your relationship with God and if that is correct, IT IS NOT A SIN. That is a religious point of view.

From a Moral perspective:
No one likes to share "his/her property".
Husband and wife are like "property" to each other. You "own me", l "own you". 
Polygamy involves (with or without consent) sharing a " spouse's personal property" with a third party! On that grounds, it is unacceptable.

Dont be deceived that only men practice polygamy.
Anyone that is married and goes to have "sexual knowledge" of another (regularly, secretly, openly, occasionally, in exchange for money) are all in the same boat of polygamy. Its just a question of "style"!

Morally, (without offering any excuse) sex is one of the "prime indicators" when a spouse goes outside the marriage.
Lets give an example: A young woman's man is impotent (due to injury, excessive alcohol and many other legitimate reasons) and cant perform his sexual (major) marital  expectation. Since everyone does not have the same level of libido and frigidness, she needs to be fulfilled, one way or another (Vibrator is not a real alternative, just a bridge-gap for some).
She can divorce and re-marry or she can "cheat" with a side-attraction but it's still viewed as adultery!

Or a young man's wife develops some illness and she is bed-ridden (Stroke, accidents, e.t.c are examples) for a long time. He develops the urge, as a virile person. What does he do?
He can divorce her (and some will call him wicked!) and re-marry, rather than commit adultery.
self-service is not even an exact remedy but some say it is also a sin!

Another situation (and Nigerians place a lot of premium on bearing children) is when his wife (or her husband) is not gifted with the fruit of the womb (bareness/impotence). She/he is desperate for kids (Test-Tube baby is an alternative if he can afford it and the technology is readily available in Nigeria where electricity is still a luxury!). Should She/he divorce the spouse and marry another one so as to procreate, having been proved that its the spouse that has a medical problem? But the Nigerian culture frowns at divorce and its actually a stigma, to be a divorcee!

Now, in most of the West, Polygamy is "frowned at" and not tolerated at all (Mind you, it is bigamy that is still a criminal offense in codified law, not polygamy!).
By culture, marriage and divorce is 2cents per day in the West.

They dont sanction Polygamy as such, what they sanction is what l dub "Serial Monogamy"
If Monogamy means "on-man, one-wife", then 'serial monogamy' means one man (or woman), with one wife (or husband) at any one point in-time for a few short period. (You can marry, then divorce over and over again! )

For example, if l marry Tunde today and we have one child, after one year, l can divorce (dump) him and re-marry Ikechukwu, one child and two years after, l divorce him and marry Umaru and l can keep going-on and on, so much so that a man/woman can accumulate fifteen husbands/wife in a life time! Thats cool, very cool. 
They are not Polygamous heathens like these Africans but "smart monogamist" or Serial Monogamist!

In Africa, its the opposite: Mostly the men, marry one wife and keep adding one more till they have like five! Bloody Polygamist!

The women folk dont have it so good (at least not so openly) so l can understand when they are the most critical of Polygamy but then, some women simply serve the husband a divorce paper and keep hopping from one "man" to another, not in marriage but as "single parent"!
Now thats smart. You cant accuse them of polygamy, neither can you accuse them of "serial monogamy", they are just "single mothers" having a good time! The "sharp" ones simple date other men behind the husband's back.

So which is good and which is bad?
Now we can see that everyone that has ever slept with any other person apart from their married spouse, is a "Polygamist" of some sort!
We can pretend all we want, even the western world that detests polygamy are no better than their African polygamist.
Some even argue that Polygamy is better than the serial monogamy they practice in the west (at least in most polygamy, the children learn to live with "Daddy/Mummy" under one roof!) where husbands/wife hop from one spouse to another, leaving the other spouse to take care of the children or to be raised by a 'foster parent'.

To say Polygamy is responsible for HIV is to be stupendous beyond belief!
What about "BESTIALITY"? When men sleep with animals (horse, chickens, goats and what ever has a hole underside it) and when women get f*cked by their dogs, horse, how come you wont expect that some "genetic mutation" would result, from the mixture of human and animal chromosomes? And it started with our "moral champions", the white man!
What about homo-sexuality? It is very astounding that men/women condemn polygamy but condone Gay/lesbianism!
of course, we are enlightened now, abi?
Again, if polygamy is responsible for HIV (men/women hopping between sex partners) are we saying that a man/woman that marries and divorce fifteen times in a life time (serial monogamy) is also not in the same league or even worse, than a man married to two or three wives?

I consider a man with two wives within his home, a "safer alternative" to one that keeps marrying a new wife, every two years!

Everyone can make their own deductions but if "reducing HIV or Keeping to one love mate, in a life time" is the aim, neither monogamy (serial monogamy) nor polygamy, is the answer.
If it is about keeping your partner to yourself only (no sharing), then "pure monogamy" is the answer but you cant even get anyone to practice "pure monogamy", anywhere in the western world, where Solicitors give "Vouchers" for free divorce and there are Do-It-Yourself (D.I.Y) divorce software programs 

In conclusion, and l say this as a personal opinion, 'circumstance' at times, determine what we do, whether we remain pure monogamist, serial monogamist or polygamist. We should let our conscience guide what we do and we should refrain from judging others since he who wears the shoe, knows where it hurts.
Some have enjoyed pure monogamy while its brought hurt to others
Some have enjoyed 'serial monogamy' and would swear that the last spouse was their 'missing rib'!
Some have more than one spouse and would readily point to a hundred monogamist that have ruined families.

Lets not make the world more complicated than it is, every man to his own tent!
And God would be the judge.

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adconline:

Eziachi
@ ^{I think you got some good points there. I think Yar Adua's daughters married those guys because of power. Remember that power is an opium for people of the North, what did they know about the word love?
I wonder, how many of them married for love, because you can't really have a romantic love for more than one person at the same time, in my opinion}

U got to be kidding me. How could yar'dua's daughter marry a guy becuase of power?  Yar'dua is more powerful than the governor and this lady could have married any man she wanted. I think you have got  a warped  eurocentric view of love that is always prounced by parties in order to get to their immediate needs.

If you don’t think Yar Adua’s kids married for power, tell me if they are called the first ladies of their states based on their father being the president? What sort of love will a 22 years old girl, who should be thinking about her first ever love from someone of her age,  go to see a movie , hand in hand for the first time be doing with a man of his father’s age who has got two wives already?

Now you are telling me Eurocentric rubbish! What is Eurocentric or Afrocentric about love? Love has no colour, neither has it a specific culture.
However, we Africans, when we want to act crooked, we claims that our attitude is African or Un-African, whichever one tht suits our urgent agenda.
An African man will tell you that  it is unAfrican to buy his wife a bunch flower once in a year, but same person  won’t have such a problem buying it for his girlfriend on the side. HYPOCRITES.

@topic/poster
YES OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MOST DEF!

There is nothing eurocentric or afrocentric about love. It is a universal human feeling and emotion. Practically it is based on doing unto others as you would wish to  be done unto yourself.

This your one side fits all approach  is not the way to go. The way Africans rank " love" is not the way westerners do.  In a psychology book  by Rod Plotnik and Haig Kouyoumdjian, Nigerians ranked "love"  as the 4th most important thing in choosing a life partner,  Chinese ranked "love" 5th, while Americans ranked love  first  as the most important factor in choosing a life partner. Hope this has answered your question.

Would any polygamist for instance agree to share his wife with another man? No. So by 'marrying' another 'wife' he is already going against the commandments of God that a man should love his wife. It is that simple.

How about those who do not worship your type of God? You have refused to see that marriage to you may not have the same meaning when a polygamist is involved. Your view is western ascribed value of marriage and not everyone subscribes to that. Folks who are in polygamy have also established rules, so U don't go out  to bring foreign bodies into the union.  How was polygamy as sin according Church of England and slavery was not?Did u know that Church of England owned slaves and plantations in Caribbean and at the same  time banned polygamy?
How could Church of England not take  a stand on homosexual unions and but has taken a stand on polygamy?

^^ Who said anything about the Church of England?? We are quoting from the undiluted word of God. You either take it or leave it.
What the bible says about polygamy is thus:
Deuteronomy 17:17
Neither shall he multiply wives unto himself that his heart turn not away.

We have been going round and round with this topic with the same people with cast iron mindset, parroting the same arguments from page 1 without even looking at the merits of superior arguments on the matter. Human sexuality cannot strictly be regulated by a one-size-fit all-law. What is acceptable in one society and time can be a taboo in another society and another time. For example marrying off 15 yr old girls is a crime in the western world, but it is a norm in other societies. So also Legal polygamy (informal polygamy is the norm even in western countries).

And I have always warned people not to consider themselves to be a beacon for morality and self righteousness based on their tunnel vision. Polygamy has its uses in societies that practices it.

BrutusOne:

Polygamy was also practiced in the past in the West, and it was found to be morally deficient and a way of oppressing the opposite gender… but you won’t be convinced because you’re programmed to follow your tradition blindly, no matter how educated you are. There are doctors out there who feel women should be mutilated, all in the name of female circumcision. So I am not surprised at all.

Nigeria - Sex ratio:    
at birth: 1.06 male(s)/female
under 15 years: 1.05 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 1.04 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 0.94 male(s)/female
total population: 1.04 male(s)/female (2009 est.)

A male/female ratio of 1.04 does not in any way equate to a ratio Female/Male of 2:1. As a matter of fact it indicates that there are slightly more men than women. This practice is strictly economic oppression of women by cowardice Nigerian men. I don’t know any woman who’s happy to be in polygamy – they simply take it because they have no better alternative, economically.

I do think with my brain, but I allow my conscience to make moral decisions for me.

My friend i do not know where you get your voodoo statistics from, but it is logically flawed, but i will come to that later.

You make statements without any bearing with reality. Whose opinion is it, that polygamy is a way of oppressing the opposite gender? is it the female gender themselves or male gender anticipating the female gender.
Positions on Polygamy depends on who you are asking. Yes if you ask young girls about polygamy, they are likely to shake their buts and roll their tongues, saying " I can never share my man with anybody". But if you ask a thirty something year old woman who has less than 15 years to menopause, the would obviously see nothing wrong with being wife no.2 or even no.3. Same goes for the woman who is over 45 and had lost her husband to a younger, sexually appealing young girl through divorce. She would rather have remained "senior" wife than no ones wife. What should be the fate of a woman who is nearing menopause without being able to tie down a man? I do not think such woman would mind being a 7th wife or even mind being called a mistress, she would be more interested in having a child for a man who can take care of the child. You people imagine every body's life is a mirror image of you own, and so it is convenient to judge people by your standards from your comfort zone.

As i had said earlier, there is no social safety nets for women and children in Africa.

Now to your dubious statistics.
First it is common knowledge that Nigerian Population figures is a joke (ask Becomerich), and every state in Nigeria contested its accuracy. The case of Lagos was worse where the population figures was put at about 15 million, but the house count by Lagos state government was put at about 8 million. So are you saying that we have an average of two people living in each house in Lagos? The population of tiny festac alone is over two million. So we cannot base any argument on the population census cooked up to collect more revenue from the National cake.

If we are to use common sense, it is officially recognized generally that life expectancy of women is higher than that of men, And in Nigeria it is officially put at 46 yrs for men and 48 yrs for women but i am sure the difference is much wider as most celebrity wives outlive their husbands, eg Awolowo, Tai Solarin, Tos Benson, Gani (his two wives are alive and kicking with no complaints)  . So in effect men geerally die earlier than women. This is also evident in that there being more landladies than landlord in Lagos, and these house are usually built by their husbands.  If you go to any church organized singles seminar, you will find out a disproportionate number of women looking for husbands.

adconline:

There is nothing eurocentric or afrocentric about love. It is a universal human feeling and emotion. Practically it is based on doing unto others as you would wish to  be done unto yourself.

This your one side fits all approach  is not the way to go. The way Africans rank " love" is not the way westerners do.  In a psychology book  by Rod Plotnik and Haig Kouyoumdjian, Nigerians ranked "love"  as the 4th most important thing in choosing a life partner,  Chinese ranked "love" 5th, while Americans ranked love  first  as the most important factor in choosing a life partner. Hope this has answered your question.
.

Yes there are many factors to be considered when getting married to someone, for both male and femaled concerned. If love is not number one, you are wasting your time. If not, that marriage is doomed from start and it will either end in divorce or if the man likes your sentiment, will marry again and again.

I don't know how many Chinese your quoted psychologist spoke to before ranking them. As far as I know, I am an African, who married to a Scottish woman for 38 years and have seen all types of match ups in marriage, love is number opium of any successful marraige that will bond every other factors to be considered.

But one thing you have failed to tell us to strengthen your argument is, where exactly did you rank love in your own marriage ? However, if you are still not married, where will rank love when the time comes?

i wll be happy if u guys in nieria re remeberinb us in south africa it wll be too nice.because i so much happy about this websit called nairaland.

Hi Wirinet,
Your response a few posts up there was superb.
It was balanced so to say.
Truly, no one likes to share, whatever they can keep for themselves and that includes wife, children, riches and even parents! Man is "self-centered" by nature, even on things that are worth sharing -love, material possessions, e.t.c.

But certain "circumstance" as you rightly pointed out, requires that such "private possession" needs to be shared.
The motive (reason dedendi) behind an action is quite crucial and even more important than the act itself!
Why does a woman/man marry a few spouse in a lifetime and not stick to the first one (or why does a married 'person' engage in extra-marital affairs?) and more predominantly in the Nigerian context, why does a man marry more than one wife and not stick to the first one?
Answer to these posers will help us see the issue in a broader light.

The funny thing is that those who preach the most against polygamy, especially in the western world, are the same ones who embrace Sodomy, bestiality, Child Pedophilia (even among church bishops and friars!), homo-sexuality and "serial monogamy", without blinking an eye!
Who are the real hypocrites in this cases or did they not read about that in the same Bible they often quote?

Maybe it stillboils down to anything African is bad, but if it is practiced by Westerners, it becomes good!

Have a Merry Xmas and l wish every one in the Nairaland-house, a wonderful 2010.
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NB: It is good when people can discuss issues like this without taking it personal.