When i was in university, a friend of mine was going out with a girl.The relationship lasted for one session. But while it did, i was always aware of "events".When the relationship ended to the girl's dissatisfaction, she relied on me for support.And as the years passed we became closer friends.

My friend is now married and we don't call each other again but that is not to say that we can't meet in the future. The problem now is that his ex and i are seeing each other and are even talking about marriage!

Though she's my idea of a woman, my mind tells me that i'm not man enough to marry someone whose ex was or is my friend.

I don't know what to do. It'll break her heart to lose me. Please tell me what you think without much disapprobation.

you either love her or you dont. your friend who you dont see no more has moved on so should you.

ask urself sincerely if ure doing d right thing in God and man's sight if yes go ahead almost every girl/boy is someone's ex

Do go on with her, your friend is married now & you've not seen him for a long time now. It's no bad thing to do.

My friend Beeshop dont u think u might lose some respect before your friends who might think that you cant find your own woman for marriage?Just thinking; I'm not too certain about my thoughts.But if u urself are fine with that,dont let it bother you.Life is filled with such twists and turns,ok? Does anyone share my opinion?Give my honest regards to her

If your friend is married then there must be a deeper reason why you're afraid to marry this girl.

Are you commitment-phobic? Is there another girl you have in mind? Those are the real questions!

Thanks all. I'm sincere with the whole thing but my worry is hinted at by Thisdumebi when he says that my peers might think me less a man than most of us for marrying someone whom i knew thru someone else. Ordinarily, i'm comfortable with the whole thing.I want more comments.Thanks everyone.I appreciate everything.

Let me tell you a sweet story. . .

I met a girl i fell in love with at first sight. I loved her tiny petite figure, her voice, the way she talked and laughed.

I told my best and most trusted friend about her and i was just thinking of approaching the girl. Perhaps i was too slow or something because this same trusted friend of mine approached the girl behind me and they started dating!

I wanted to hate my friend, but i couldnt!!! It's been 6 yrs siince then, my friend and the girl will be getting married this yr, and best of all we are still best of friends!
Today i believe the girl was not meant for me and if the only thing i did by loving that girl then was bringing her to my friend's notice then i think i've done what God wanted to use me to do.

Now that story was real life!

Thanks David. You see, from your story you never slept with her. My friend did sleep several times with this one in question, to my knowledge. Besides, i have friends who cannot have forgotten that relationship.This is where my problem lies though this doesnt bother her in the least. More opinions please!!

Wehave told you that the ex-boyfirned does not matter because he is now married. Duh.

What matters is whether or not you really want to marry this girl. The ball is in your court, so play it correctly!

If your friend wants to cause any trouble just report him to his wife. His wife won't take it lightly with him.

My suspicion is that your love for her is not very deep, so you're looking for an escape clause. Shame on you!

Beeshop, if you really love this woman you will go ahead and marry her regardless. Many of us too are dating women who are not virgins too, do we throw them away simply because they may have slept with the guy who shares the same office with you?
Yes i did not sleep with the girl in question before my friend started dating her (maybe that would have changed things) but it still does not matter, what matters is whether you love her enough to go ahead and marry her.

I think your problem is that your friend must have told you some intimate details of his trysts with this girl and you are finding it difficult to look at her without remembering them! Forget it and move on, she's yours now and hopefully forever.

Beeshop:

When i was in university, a friend of mine was going out with a girl.The relationship lasted for one session. But while it did, i was always aware of "events".When the relationship ended to the girl's dissatisfaction, she relied on me for support.And as the years passed we became closer friends.

My friend is now married and we don't call each other again but that is not to say that we can't meet in the future. The problem now is that his ex and i are seeing each other and are even talking about marriage!

Though she's my idea of a woman, my mind tells me that i'm not man enough to marry someone whose ex was or is my friend.

I don't know what to do. It'll break her heart to lose me. Please tell me what you think without much disapprobation.

DO u truly love her? if yes

then you hav my blessing

Oh please, marry the girl. If you were really concerned about this, why did you bother dating her? She's not owned by her ex, so move on. I'd be annoyed if her ex actually has issues with this.

if the gal in question is comfortable with you, and you really love her despite what you know about her past, then my guy, forge ahead with the marriage and dont give a shit what your friends will say, though i know it aint easy, but pray about it an d God will help u. Cheers.

Ur friend(s) shouldn't av any problem with ur marriage 2 dis gal. Dat's if they're really ur friends as u claim. . .
I'v bin in a somewhat similar situation & believe u me, it wasn't easy BUT it was worth it. . .
Follow ur heart. . .

marry the girl if you love her.

Clash of the titans. Do you listen to your mind or to your heart. Hmnnn.
Your main fear i'm afraid is that you feel your friend will think you less of a man if you go ahead with wedding his ex.
How would he react if you and your newlywed(his ex) both go visiting for dinner or meet at a party. That is your major fear.

Of course if he were not to be your friend,you would not have all these doubts as you would go ahead and marry her.
We are all someone's exes or vice versa (6 degrees of separation), the only difference is in knowing. That's what kills.

they say that "the devil u know is better than the angel u don't know".u knowing who she once dated is good @ least u re safer with her.
ur friend is married now,assuming he is not then that's where u have a problem.we all have a past,and that is what makes us who we are today.so marry her if u love her.

go on maaaaaaaaaaaaary the girl

you have heard it all,

any "true" girlfriend" talk bout she go dey wid my ex-boyfriend,  . . . .muss be mad.   Is pure Karate kicks she ago get from me.  And Bruce lee style too you nuh



1 love

Go right ahead and keep loving her like you claim to do.
You can't leave someone you love because you want to PLEASE you "close friend". That's certainly not love.
If you love her would care less what the next person thinks or your close friend cos that was years ago.
He might even have forgotten about her and YOU, no doubt!

Live your life for you and care less about what others think or say cos ppl are BOUND to talk no matter what.
No, it doesn't mean egocentricism, it just means you live for you! And that's exactly what its supposed to be!

Goodluck man!!

Let her go
I sense you wont be comfortable
so there is no point doing convenience love