otukpo, while i agree with you that it is not intentional in all cases, still a great majority of ladies these days think marriage should come second while pursuing their career.

I have come to know that something you try too hard to get, always get the wrong one.
Love will always come to you, if you are patient, however, while waiting, do something with your life

Wait for the right person.

Yes . . .cos they are not from Russia, and rush in is run out.

George_D:

otukpo, while i agree with you that it is not intentional in all cases, still a great majority of ladies these days think marriage should come second while pursuing their career.

Fhemmmy:

I have come to know that something you try too hard to get, always get the wrong one.
Love will always come to you, if you are patient, however, while waiting, do something with your life

George, see the response to your post from Fhemmmy.

The fact many people miss is that women pursue a career because marriage isn't on the horizon - should she stand still and put her life on hold until someone turns up?   When the right man comes along see how quickly she will abandon it all!

George-otukpo, while i agree with you that it is not intentional in all cases, still a great majority of ladies these days think marriage should come second while pursuing their career.

THANK GOD MANY LADIED ARE THINKING DAT WAY

N101 , waiting and doing something useful with your life are relative terms usually lost in translation. most times we find that while trying to 'do something useful with their lives' ladies become so engrossed with what they're doing that time finally passes them by. this is reality.

Why do people say that society pressures women?

It is women who pressure themselves, they way they talk to one another tells it all. You never hear men asking other men, when are you getting married?? This domain is a womans domain, Aunties, sisters, mothers, all put pressure on their fellow related female folks to "settle down".

Its not society, its fellow women. If women could learn to talk without aksing that very irritatin question to fellow women who are not married, life would be better. But nowadays there is no genuine conversations, all coversations especially at the homefront are like interviews for a job.

When are you getting married? Where is your boyfriend, get married, bla bla bla.

Where did anyone sign a contract with anyone that they would get married by a certain age? And do people know that marriage is not like picking mangoes from a tree. Its a laborious process of dating and accepting one another.

Ideally. I say ideally with alot of caution. Ideally a man and a woman should have orgazm together, but it doesnt happen   

Ideally a man should get married between 27-30, that is when for most men things have stabilized.

For women, (city women) they should get married between 24-27. Sorry to say but after 25 years a woman loses her looks and start to look old and advanced.

Marriage is not meant for babies but i also believe age is a number it take more than age to be married,b careful most especially woman ur what u make your marriage.

I beleive is pretty cool to marry early if you are emotionally, spritually and finacially ready. It is not necessary for u to be 30 or 40 b4 you can see beyond your nose. some people get more mature mentally physically as early as their 20s

I should add here that life is graver than the we make of it.
and if u marry the wrong man/woman it could cost your ur peace on earth and u life
- i mean after life.
e.g
from the bible - for christian i mean - jezebel probably married king ahab early with all fanfare- but ahab was led astray ,he killed naboth and took his vine yard all because
his wife HAD A HOLD ON HIM.women have a hold on men and control them in ways
their peers cant. at the end,ahab's body was eaten by dogs he never got a proper burial.so the wife or husband u chose affects - ur future.
let me get more contemporary.
Madame currie the renowned scientist ,who discovered the metal , i think,plutonium
was married to a fellow scientist,their union was so powerful!! i think they bagged the nobel price in chemistry or so,back to back.
so i see marriage as a synergistic union that makes 2 people greater than the their individual best.
if ur life has been rosy before marriage,when u get married it should be exponentially better- u should be richer,healthier etc.
so marraige is good and a good thing,whats wrong with enjoying it early or when u want.
then on the other side.it depends on how long u have 'left',no one will live forever.
for someone who'll live to be 80,marrying at 40 is no big deal,and if the couples live so long,they enjoy the journey together.
but for one who may not live too long,kicking the bucket early,
like before 40,then marraige at 25 is an attempt to suck all the juice life on their lifes nectar before the light goes out.
that's the fact of life.so
its all about how long u gat to be hear.
read of a 90 year old man who completed high school!!
was he too old to go to school!!
i don't know , he still had the desire to be educated at 80 and he acted to fulfill his desire - that it.
but they are many who never lived so long.
so we can't be talking like we gat all the day long,

feyijumm:

Marriage is not meant for babies but i also believe age is a number it take more than age to be married,b careful most especially woman your what u make your marriage.

well, that may be true for usa and europe, but in africa sadly it is. lets get real.

George_D:

N101 , waiting and doing something useful with your life are relative terms usually lost in translation. most times we find that while trying to 'do something useful with their lives' ladies become so engrossed with what they're doing that time finally passes them by. this is reality.

I don't disagree with you, on the other hand I can't totally agree with you because it's not really relative or lost in translation to most women. 

As I mentioned before, no one can expect a woman to put her life on hold waiting for a suitable suitor to come along.  You'll find very few women who plan to get engrossed in their working life at the expense of their personal life.  As the saying goes "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans". C'est la vie.

BTW, laughing in sign language - ASL or BSL? 

George_D:

N101 , waiting and doing something useful with your life are relative terms usually lost in translation. most times we find that while trying to 'do something useful with their lives' ladies become so engrossed with what they're doing that time finally passes them by. this is reality.

I totally disagree with that.
If the woman was really looking for a man and now, cos she is in school and she see a real man and not just a dikchead oh, she will jump at it, but the real man will not expect her to quit the school and just marry.
That will be a bad move, such man will help the lady to get the best out of her and now be happy together.
I think the problem is that most men are afraid of educated ladies, cos they think they will lose control

fhemmmy, the reality of life is this: you don't get what your not looking for.

that is a heavy statement but i'm sure you get my drift.

I thnk its ol about maturity, um 25, ol my frnds hv either kids or r married! at sum point u fil the pressure of hvn either, bt tld maslf i hv 2 fil dat um ready rather tha js joining the crew, bt i fil i'm ready to be a mother nw bcz i hv alwys wantd 2 hv ol my kids b4 um 30! so its ol bout personal choice @ the end of the day!

For goodness sake, here we go again. When are we ever going to learn that we should never keep check of our life existance against numbers. Young and old people we must learn to live and let live. You are not half human because you've just turned 25 and not married let alone have a boyfriend not to mention a guy who gives you that second look, same for guys. If its what you want then it will happen when it happens. Just live and never be stuck in the mud, For Christ sake please stop it this is so tired,

Getting married in your twenties is too early,
why not wait until you're in your late twenties or early thirties.

so wen sud women get married eh, in their early teens like 13 or14
leave woman, wat about man

na wao!

If I had got married I would have been divorced over and over by now, I'm 43 and ready to marry and know how to treat a man, not something I could have said in my 20's or 30's

43? why not wait till your 63 years to gather more 'experience'?

They say life begins at 40 it sure does

life as we know it hardly begins at 40

well it did for me I can't talk for anyone else

if you say so.

I know this is an older topic, but,

I don't think most of you really think about what you want in life, there's no right or wrong age for people to marry, but personally in my opinion, 20s no, but 30s yes.

Most people today just treat marriage and babies as a fanshon, they look what other people have and just say "i want that too!". Which to me is a big mistake, you should do it because YOU want it and when you are ready.

George_D, everyone has their own opinions, so stop disagreeing with everyone, just because you probably got married very young and probably have children, doesn't mean everyone else should follow.

chuk,
who says i got married very young?  i could be a married bachelor for all you know!

It alriught to get married at that age. ALot of people rush into marriage and in the end they got divorced.

Why don't you just say the truth ?

The real problem with ladies these days is that most of them
feel their teenage years will never end yet they want to be respected
as a madam.

Well, you can't have the best of the two worlds.You either remain
single (even at age Thirty)or you get to your marital home with immediate
effect.

I'm talking from experience because l married my wife when she was already
27 years of age.However,we were met with many problems because we had a
least two miscarriages,one still-birth and two living teenagers to show for our
marriage.

My wife is now 50 years of age and she stopped menstruating many years ago
we she was in her mid-forties.

I agree everybody's body chemistry is not the same,but there is also what we
call body clock for women.You can never continue to have your eggs forever
and ever.It will finish one day for sure.

Be realistic.Get married when you can still get the fruits of the womb with great
joy to every person concerned - including your parents and in-laws.

sikaz,
good talk there. if only they will listen?