Ugosample:


Point of correction tho
that your last statement is a hasty generalisation that is not correct
Some of them could be mumu sha
But not all Yoruba people are like that tho.
That's it.
I grew up in a multicultural environment, so I'm talking based on that

obikirinoni:
This thread should be the Dilemma of Yoruba- Igbo Inter- tribal Marriage.


As you can see them above me spreading their hatred for each other.

Believe me if violence should break out between Igbos and Yorubas, it will be too bloody cos out of the abundance of your heart you guys have been typing rubbish on nairaland.

I have even been drawn to the mud a few times.

Why Hate people so much.

Ndiofe:


There is wat we call uniformity,(u call it generalisation) one man grew a beard, in no time everybody starts wearing beard.
It is called being in vogue or trend.
Right now, igbo women is the thing for yorubas, it is in trend, u have to ask urself y?
Particularly, since they are the only tribe doing this in the whole Nigeria. Y do they single out one tribe?

kolaish:
Yes, I agree with you. But, honestly, I have relative peace in my marriage. That is not to say that others who married from other tribe does not enjoy same. But, I can only advice someone based on what I have experienced and see others go through. That is why I will always say "Marry from your tribe"

Imagine the teacher asking your child from which tribe are you? Then your child will say, my father is a yoruba man but my mother is from Igbo/hausa. Why not save the stress. Even the prophets that are of old (Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) married from their tribe, So, what is my problem if I cannot marry from my tribe.

ElsonMorali:
If I tell you my own life experiences concerning this issue you'll be totally amazed.

Trust me I've had a girl's family ostracize her because She was dating me, a Yoruba guy, an "_ngbati _ngbati".

Lol.

Just don't open that can of worms. Some things are better left unsaid.

laudate:


And how did the love affair end?? Pray, do tell!!

AreaFada2:
I agree with almost all you wrote.

But despite increasing inter tribal and inter ethnic marriages, the vast majority still marry within. I can only talk of the experiences of those I know. Not of those I do not know. My submission never claimed to be a scientific position.

Centuries ago, when most people still lived and died within one village or a small geographical location, my ancestors already married from faraway tribes. Aunts married outside in the 1950s already.

My observation of unsuccessful inter tribal marriages mostly fall within the past 15 to 20 years. And strictly only females marrying men of other tribes.
As for women we married from other tribes, it has been phenomenal success. Especially Igbo women.

Ugosample:


Do You know a lot of Igbo guys marry Yoruba girls too

it happens all the time lol.

Does that mean Yoruba babes are the trend too?

Many Igbo guys my age bracket who grew uo in Lagos are married to Yoruba baes

So it's nothing special

Ndiofe:
i dont know which best qualifies u, igbo hater or stalker, either u needserous help.

laudate:

Ndiofe:
wat am saying is simple, save ur hate filled advice 4 ur tribe people, u are not fit to give advice here.

Ndiofe:
right bak at u? u took long to find that picture, u are the definition of madness, abeg dey try locate ur people, no be we do u.

Ndiofe:


Definately not as much as Yoruba guys. This ones seem to have made igbo a criteria for marriage.

Many will be single waiting for igbo, this is confirmed, which igbo guy wait 4 yoruba? if i no see yoruba, i no go marry?

Ugosample:


Did you grow up in Lagos
I bet not
Because if you do, you will find out that Igbo man, Yoruba woman is more than vice versa.

Ndiofe:


I doubt that, becos we have families and we dont see yoruba wife. I tell u wat we see more, yoruba men (inlaw) married to an igbo lady.
Igbo men married to yoruba women are very few.

laudate:


Nobody is saying you cannot marry from your tribe. What we are saying is that those who marry within their tribe, are not better or worse off than those who marry outside their tribe. So no one should dissuade those who wish to marry outside their tribe.

I always tell people, that it is not about the tribe you marry from, but about the kind of family you marry from, and also the character of the person you are getting married to, as well as the emotional bond or connection that you both share.

If a child is asked what tribe he belongs to, he is free to provide the answer he desires, as long as he understands his unique identity. Besides, what is wrong with a child claiming both ethnic groups which his parents belong to? Is it a crime or an offence? Most times, children would claim their paternal heritage, as our society is structured along patrilineal lines.

As for the prophets of old, please tell me where Moses' wife came from? Was she an Israelite? Queen Esther who saved her people, married a king who was not from Israel. Even the lineage of our Lord Jesus had Ruth included in it. Ruth was a Moabite, who married into the Hebrew family of Elimelech and Naomi. Please go through the Bible and check the lineage of the prominent families in it.

What the patriarchs preached against was marrying other tribes that were involved in idolatry. Today, there are Christians from different ethnic groups who believe in the redemption work of our Lord Jesus. Do you still believe such people should not get married because they hail from different tribes, despite the fact that they share the same faith?

Ugosample:


But on my own side of the family, plus parents friends plus associates, plus my years of growing up in Lagos, there are FAR more Igbo guys with Yoruba girls than vice versa.
Even some Igbolecturers in SW are marriedto Yoruba women.

the same may even happen to me sef, judging by my circles and all.

The Wedding party (the movie) was made based on that observation.

Come to Lagos and see for yourself

Ndiofe:


Dude, u sound like one of those people that went to lagos and dont visit ur village.

Marriage is not a bed of roses and inter-tribal marriage is not better, it comes with alot of complications.

In the kindred where i come from, i am yet to see an igbo man married to a yoruba woman, believe me i attend meeting. However, we do meet yoruba inlaws at wedding or funerals. It is always yoruba men married to igbo women.

Igbo men may date other tribe but always come up with excuse as u find in this article by the OP, i.e. my mother dont like you.
Igbo men listen and take into consideration parental opinion in marriage.

laudate:


And how did the love affair end?? Pray, do tell!!

kolaish:
You have good points no doubt. But for me, NO, NO and NO. What is good for you may not be good for me, different tales for different folks... Let me give you another experience;

I have an uncle (a yoruba man) working in kano and he married an hausa woman. when fight broke out in the north between hausa and yoruba, some of my uncles friend were killed, so he decided to run down to Ibadan with his wife and 4 children, but to his greatest dismay, the family refuses to allow him go with their daughter and children. He relocated some years back and since then he has only succeeded in getting custody of one of his children. The rest is stories... Experience, they say, is the best teacher.

laudate:


Well, everyone is entitled to his own opinion. But for me, I still firmly believe that marrying within your own ethnic group is not a guarantee that your marriage would be happier and more successful, than the marriages of those who married outside their ethnic group.

As for your uncle's case, please find out the facts very well. He and his spouse may have had some deep-seated unresolved problems, that came to the fore when he decided to relocate to the south. He only used the cultural difference as an excuse.

I know several couple from different ethnic groups similar to the one shared by your uncle and his wife (i.e. Hausa/Yoruba) who have lived comfortably & peacefully in the south for years. Afterall, your uncle's wife and her people knew he was a Yoruba man from the south, before she married him. Didn't she ever follow him to the south to see his family or parents, while they were together? What led to her sudden aversion? Anyway, to each man his own...

U and I know age is a factor otherwise, none of dem will agree to mix with "dirty oily cowardly genes". There comes an age whereby a woman will hurriedly follow just about any man that propose marriage.

U have advertised and shouted from the mountain about ur obsession for igbo people and also their women.

U are very easy for our girls, u present no challenge wat so eva

, u are ready, willing, waiting and dieing for igbo.

Other scenario na money matter. (financial marriages)

NaijaBinaryKing:

Follow your heart dear, as long as you are sure of his love for you.

I am Yoruba, but married to an Akwaibom woman. I have never for one day regretted getting married to her.

laudate:


Nobody is saying you cannot marry from your tribe. What we are saying is that those who marry within their tribe, are not better or worse off than those who marry outside their tribe. So no one should dissuade those who wish to marry outside their tribe.

I always tell people, that it is not about the tribe you marry from, but about the kind of family you marry from, and also the character of the person you are getting married to, as well as the emotional bond or connection that you both share.

If a child is asked what tribe he belongs to, he is free to provide the answer he desires, as long as he understands his unique identity. Besides, what is wrong with a child claiming both ethnic groups which his parents belong to? Is it a crime or an offence? Most times, children would claim their paternal heritage, as our society is structured along patrilineal lines.

As for the prophets of old, please tell me where Moses' wife came from? Was she an Israelite? Queen Esther who saved her people, married a king who was not from Israel. Even the lineage of our Lord Jesus had Ruth included in it. Ruth was a Moabite, who married into the Hebrew family of Elimelech and Naomi. Please go through the Bible and check the lineage of the prominent families in it.

What the patriarchs preached against was marrying other tribes that were involved in idolatry. Today, there are Christians from different ethnic groups who believe in the redemption work of our Lord Jesus. Do you still believe such people should not get married because they hail from different tribes, despite the fact that they share the same faith?