My boyfriend and i have been together for nearly a year now, on and off. Hes a very attractive guy and i'm quite pretty too, girls go after him and boys come after me, and the trust is just goin down. i really like him, and i know he likes me too but our relationship is dying, ANY SUGGESTIONS

Hi destiny,

First of all, l am answering your post because you kind of bear my sign in name disney - destiny.

Well, your case is not a new one in town. You're not the first and you won't be the last either. We have many cute couples in town. Will Smith and his wife and so many more cute couples together. But you and your boyfriend have to be both strong and continue to learn to say no to your various suitors. If you see one wey fine pass your boyfriend or better than him in character , words or deeds, it's ok to move on with life as long as you not both married. So you don't belong to each other yet until God pronounce you man and wife. It's your life and you are as free to date as many guys as you want as long as you not married.

But in the long run, if you and your suitor has already made up your mind to be together till death, then forget the other suitors because they only ruin your relationship with your boyfriend So to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Best of luck.

Thanks, thats very helpful

Post the pictures of the two of you so that we can know what exactly you are talking about.

well i think you guys need to build up ur trust in each other. i think ur situation is normal, if u guys are meant to be dont worry no other person will stop that...take care

If you are young and still studying them please don't take your 'relationship' too seriously because it's not meant to last. You should socialize with many different types of people so you can learn the type of person that fits you best. Once you know your type of person and you are working and ready to settle down, they you can start commiting yourself to long-term relationships that'll end in marriage.

i think you talk to him and let him know tht the feelin is not so mutual like it use to be. Both of you are so beautiful as proclamed but do you xpect?  You just have to trust and hold one. it will work out.
And you IAH wat do you want her pics for Do u want to show your brother or are you interested in her guy?  

Does it really matter? The issue should be, do trust him enough to stick with him. and if you do, can you compete?
well, I wish you both the best of luck.

do u rili trust him? i think the both of you should try and trust each other it is very neccesary. And try to know and be sure tht he still care about you.

To be honest, i really dnt know wats goin on in his mind, i trust him but i don't think he does because he says i have too many friends who are boys. i always assure him that hes the one i'm with and i wouldn't do anything to destroy our relationship and sometimes he accepts it, but when we argue he always brings it up again when i have already explained to him.

You see, they say love is blind and I think you've been blinded by it. You really love your guy, the only snag is making him trust and being commited in the relationship. Keep trying and I wish you luck.

Destiny, I believe one of the best advise u've got has been from disney. Quite true that love needs to b cultivated but if there is a situation like urs then where is the grd for cultivation. u both r surely drifting apart...i was in the same boat some time ago and i think i thank God for making me go thru the gruelling event. if u try to keep the relationship it will b to ur own detriment (u might both b cheating on each oda due to in-fighting). IT'S TIME U BOTH MOVE ON. THIS IS NOT LOVE. COS ONE OF U IS NOT BLIND...so 2 say.

the problem is with both of u...1st Where there is no trust there is jealousy,and where there is jealousy there is mutual love,which i call infatuation..and when the two exist in a relationship( jealousy and infatuation)it never last cos it was never strong and this leads to smothering and i believe most ladies hate this...
2ndly...i'll be right back!

Yeah, i understand what you mean, I think the problem in mainly me!!!, i'm a very jealous person, I dont want to share him with anyone. But things are getting better now, we'll celebrate our first anniversary on the 8th of February!!!.

@Destiny
To say that u still went thru the valentine thing without the love dying then there is more than meets the eye. How can u continue something that is doomed, that you are jealous is ok, sort of, you know. But that you are very jealous is something else. Have you watched the film - A Thin Line Btw Love And Hate. Thats the way ur love life is heading rite now.

@rhod
Can u explain the "not easy" expect here. Another one, have u watched the film or not?

well, i meant being in love is not as as we all think, love has it's ups and downs nope i've not watched the film

I have a daughter she is your age mate 17 years
She has been with her boyfriend almost 2 years now.
She is very pretty .And her Boyfriend well i will not say he is sooo fine , But he is a breaker and always going for battles.
My daughter knows that girls are after him because he breaks and he knows that many boys are after her because she is fine.
But they trust each other and even if they do not see every day they talk alot.
Its important to be able to talk about the days events without getting pissed at the other person. because if so the person will start keeping things to himself,
I don't know how modern your parents are.But i insist that any wannabe Boyfriend must take my daughter to his house and introduce her to his parents as his girl friend.

very important
If possible keep up a good relationship with his mum and dad if possible.
my daughter goes often to his place , helps the mum in the kitchen and helps her do some
They know her as his girlfriend and not some girl calling the house.
so they keep an eye on him.
He cannot just bring another girl to the house.
once a friend of my daughter phoned his house because she was looking for her.
His mum took the call. And bet me she really questioned her son about that girl that called,

It's very simple. Sit him down and give him the bare bones of it. Tell him he's handsome and you're pretty and you get lots of guys chasing you. Both of you should cme up with a plan for dealing with the difficulty. He'll be happy. Trust me.

@mamaput
Ur daugther is one of the rare gift of nature. While her guy is assumed watched. But do you know if he has other means of communicating other GFs apart from his house phone. Then does the modernity of her parent has anything to do with her being very very jealous. Pls mama, help us to address this issue. It is really disturbing.
@Rhod
Love not being easy is not the line we are looking @. We all have our fair share of this thing called love. But we are dealing with someone who is very jealous. We have to help her in that line first. B4 we can look at the ups and downs of their relationship. U should endeavour to counsel her. Pls go watch that film it will shed more light on her issue. Then come give ur opinion afterwards.

Whats so difficult about it?
Its aonlya matter of trust and knowing what you have,
They are at an age were everyone has their own plan, they are not in the same school,
Today there are so many fine people out there.

get over yourselves and stop being so weak , you will never be happy with this attitude unless you marry an ugly man.

@mamaput
I dont get it. U r confusing us the more. Her suitors pulling her apart is caused by her anguish whenever he goes hunting unconsciously, she gets very jealous. So, ? She too goes likewise. Now in such scenery where is the love we are talking about when jealousy has not been stamped out. I listen to some rap music and I am going to sight an example. In Lil kim latest album, in one of her songs, she said if a guy sleeps around ppl call him a MAN but if a lady does the same they call her a LovePeddler. So if ladies chase him, she will have to lessen the way guys do the same 4 her. Cos it is natural that he will respond the way he does. So mama, advise us beta.

mamaput
your daugther is one of the rare gift of nature. While her guy is assumed watched. But do you know if he has other means of communicating other GFs apart from his house phone. Then does the modernity of her parent has anything to do with her being very very jealous. Please mama, help us to address this issue. It is really disturbing.

the guy is only watched by his mum and dad, the same way i look after my daughter.
The boy is going to be 18 this year and stays with his mum and dad.
At that age you normally tell your people were you are of too.
Its a matter of trust.
My daughter has many girlfriends and she goes to the club with them alone.
he too has friends and goes out with them alone.
But they talk .commutation is very important.
Each of them always knows were the other person is when they are not together.
Am talking of a boy that travels alot for battles all over Europe
he can if he wants to communate with other girls but it will not be easy for him my daughter can do the same but it will not be easy.
And thats because they have introduced themselves to the parents,
He can break up with her if he wants and find a new girl. his parents cannot force him to stay with her. But to cheat will be hard.
He works learning to be an industrial mechanic for a big car company , he trains small kids  and then goses for training himself his program is tight.
my daughter has her school and her girlfriends.

jealousy , is a very bad thing.
my daughter and her boyfriend also same age as Destinty also have their problems, but they talk about them and make compromise.
For eg the club thing, he lets her know he is not too happy about her going on her own.
But he knows he cannot expect her to wait at home till he has time for her.
so he begs her not to dance with strange boy, but she can dance with his friends that she meets there.
He also begs her not to make pic with other boys embracing her for the internet as they do in clubs these days. because of his people what they will say if they come across the pictures.
Both of them know that if one of them cheats the relationship is over.

@mamaput
well put mama. Rite now, we are looking at destiny 4 sure. Hehehehe, do you know why am laughing, mama. It's this club thing you just said. You made mention of it in another post, though cant remember rite now, that you go to wind down a lil bit and dances too in da club. But when you are being aproached 4 a dance u tell the guys that u r married and to your supprise these guys still asks you for ur phone number after the dance. Then the funny part, you said"Do these guys have tomatoes on their ears or wot?" So I dont blame ur Daughter's BF, he is playing safe. Mama, give destiny more advice on how to shield herself, I am strongly believing that u r expert @ these things, u know, from a ladies side of it.

The first boyfriend my daughter had was very jealous.
One day his best friend told him he was very lucky to have such a girlfriend . He is not talking to his friend to this day.
If my daughter said only hello to someone it was a fight.
Somewere along the way he told her he needs time to think because everyone was telling him he cannot keep a fine girl like that.
After 3 months of thinking I advised my daughter to move on.
she called him asked him if he had made up his mind he said he was not sure. she broke up with him on the spot.
Today he is still comming to beg. But its too late.
with his jealously he was depressing her .
So if its me i will advise my loved ones to move on.
But bif they are the jealous ones, i will ask them to work on it. if not at the end you lose all

If it's really THAT serious, both of you consider wearing some friendhsip rings that will drive your suitors away. I think it is more than your looks that is causing problems for you guys. i would even argue that your looks have nothing to do with it.

@Destiny
I think mamput has just given us a clue as to what can happen if u dont change, u can c wot happens to a jealous person. Also the ring thing might work too. Do some thinking and talking later with him asap. Hitch or move on Lady, that's the WORD, u Heard?

Not even ten rings and a big belly can help a jealous woman.
She will do the same to the next man that comes her way.
Am not saying that being jealous is not good but every thing must have a limit.
Its a free world and its normal for other men to want to go out with you but one must be able to say sorry i have a Boyfriend.
Or you stay single and go out with who ever and when ever. as a single you dont owe anyone answer.