greatgod2012:
@op, Kudos!

I always love reading your posts, even though I may not agree with all but I'm quite sure I agree with bulk of your posts most time!


@post, I agree with you and the best way to move on especially if one is already married is to love yourself a great deal!

Anyone who truly and greatly love him/herself will find it easy to move on without feeling bad about the other person, there will not be any need begging for love from anyone because you're already full with self-love! And believe me, that's when the other person will realize that you can actually survive without him/her, by then, he will spontaneously learn how to show love!


However, it's somehow difficult for anyone who's dependent on the other person to find it easy moving on or loving oneself truthfully and greatly, therefore, it is advised that each and everyone be independent, especially ladies...... every lady should be self dependent, so that no man will think you can't survive without him!


Love should not be forced but flow freely!

May God help us all!

Do you think it only ladies that beg for love ? Am in this situation presently and although have stopped calling or seeing her but still it very hard for me to move on, she is always on my mind and sometimes I would have picked my phone to dial her number but I just manage to shrug it off, may be it because am always alone and introverted. But I must say it very hard for me to move on but am very sure with time I can pull this over..

AyamConfidence:
na small thing na

Later the girl wan come put me for brother zone na im I park her aside sharply...I no get power for bestie things or to dey beg upandan

Lol.

I want to be like you when I grow up.

One sided expectations hurts a lot ..just as am going through right now..I'm really depressed. I can't go a day without crying. I'm trying my best to pull out but it still keep coming. For one week now I've just been in my room ,I haven't gone out ( crying)

Toks2008:
There is one absurdity i have seen in romantic affairs...it's the act of unbalance feelings of love and affection from both parties which usually leaves one party feeling unloved and in many cases will lead to sadness, depression, anger, nagging when they feel they are not getting the love and attention they deserve....If you find yourself expressing the aforementioned then you are clearly begging for love.

If you ever observe this just pause and ask yourself why you are begging for the love and affection...if there is something you are doing wrong then adjust but if it is just your partner who is not just connecting with you please move on.

Stop crying and begging for love from someone who is not willing to give it. Stop begging fot attention,compliments, praise,admiration,hugs,kisses because at the end it will lead to serious depression and you will start thinking you are not good enough and this destructive mindset will prevent you from attaining your goals and dreams in life.

If you are dating someone who makes you beg for love and affection please close your eyes and leave that union...*MOVE ON* cos you are too special to beg for love from anyone because in the real sense. ...such person is not worth it but if you go ahead to marry such with the hope that he or she will change then you are on a wild goose chase cos it will most likely get worse.

And if you are married yet see yourself begging for love and affection please get a grip of yourself and channel your energy on yourself and your kids if any. ..
the constant nagging makes you look desperate. Deal with it by learning how to love yourself, and take care of yourself (mentally, physically, and spiritually).

Stop waiting for that other person to grab your hand, and motivate yourself by moving forth in your life and acknowledging that you are a dynamic, unique, beautiful, talented person with or without the love or attention from another individual.

The problem is that rather than move on,many people would rather remain in that affair hoping things will change thereby sinking deeper and deeper into a sorry state.

Remember that there is always someone out there who is ready to give you all the love and affection you can ever dream of so stop wasting your time and life with someone who does not deserve you.

The strange twist is that in most cases,if you care less and focus on yourself,the other party will realize how valuable you are and will most likely give you more than the attention you deserve.

Always remember that the wrong person will make you beg for affection, attention and commitment but the right person will give you very effortlessly because he or she truly wants you.

Don't know if this makes sense.

Toks my guy as usual you just nailed it again, it just like you are seeing my present situation. I don't even understand anymore and moving on is very hard I must confess.
This is someone I love truly and she's not reciprocate the same love back to me but one thing about me is even if I love her to the moon I will still never beg for love cause Am once a victim of that and I know how they are treated. Have stopped calling her and even when she called I don't pick cause I see there is no point furthering the relationship when love is not coming from her, although she always claim she love me and she is just not the showing love type but still I believe it a lie nobody loves and hide it...

adajoe555:
One sided expectations hurts a lot ..just as am going through right now..I'm really depressed.

Just as me, move on is even more difficult than staying cause of the stupid hope of someday change that pose but still not the best cause I know how people that are begging for love is treated, if you call they will say you are calling too much or you are stalking them, they give you rosters of DOs and DONTs cause you are the one begging for their love and if they did something bad and you call their attention to it they will say you are nagging, It actually bad begging for love.
But me ooo am trying my possible best to move on no matter what, may be it because am always alone and introverted that is making the moving on hard but I will get thru with it

adajoe555:
One sided expectations hurts a lot ..just as am going through right now..I'm really depressed. I can't go a day without crying. I'm trying my best to pull out but it still keep coming. For one week now I've just been in my room ,I haven't gone out ( crying)

Heyah sorry Dearie I know how you must have been feeling try to go out and mix with people at least for that moment you will forget about it and gradually you will move on Dearie

Seanjay:


she always claim she love me and she is just not the showing love type but still I believe it a lie nobody loves and hide it...

If you truly desire someone,you can't help but show it...cos it comes effortlessly.

Seanjay:




Just as me, move on is even more difficult than staying cause of the stupid hope of someday change that pose but still not the best cause I know how people that are begging for love is treated, if you call they will say you are calling too much or you are stalking them, they give you rosters of DOs and DONTs cause you are the one begging for their love and if they did something bad and you call their attention to it they will say you are nagging, It actually bad begging for love.
But me ooo am trying my possible best to move on no matter what, may be it because am always alone and introverted that is making the moving on hard but I will get thru with it

That's what he always say . I'm a fault finder because I called his attention to what I don't like ,he said I shouldn't talk to him .today is making it a week he haven't called ..I'm just broken inside ..I'm trying to move I can't

exco90:
it is unfortunate for me to find myself in this type of situation. after reading your post. and am still finding it difficult to let her go. but am still working and try to fight myself out of it. my problem is that we are both course mate. the dear of letting her go and will still be seeing her attending lecture together could not allow me to free her easily..

and its affecting me academically, finding it difficult to concentrate. I just pray I should have the courage to free her and let her go and erase her off my memory completely.

Here is the secret...look for one negative aspect in her and magnify it as a good reason to let go...it works

Toks2008:


If you truly desire someone,you can't help but show it...cos it comes effortlessly.

Yes that's what am saying and it the same reason am believing she doesn't love me, she just don't want me to leave may be because of what she's getting from me but definitely not love

adajoe555:




That's what he always say . I'm a fault finder because I called his attention to what I don't like ,he said I shouldn't talk to him .today is making it a week he haven't called ..I'm just broken inside ..I'm trying to move I can't

The problem with expecially most ladies is that they always desire a man who does not want them while neglecting the one who wants them...this is the reason many ladies will forever be heartbroken or be at the receiving end.

I'm sure there is a guy somewhere that you are so so very sure that really desire you and would treat you like a queen but you just don't have feelings for him as many ladies say...what a sorry world.

adajoe555:
One sided expectations hurts a lot ..just as am going through right now..I'm really depressed. I can't go a day without crying. I'm trying my best to pull out but it still keep coming. For one week now I've just been in my room ,I haven't gone out ( crying)

I saw the news about people jumping off bridges and seriously, i considered it for a few seconds two months ago when i got trapped into such devastating situation. oh, the rejection.... so humiliating.

Seanjay:



Heyah sorry Dearie I know how you must have been feeling try to go out and mix with people at least for that moment you will forget about it and gradually you will move on Dearie

I pray today should be a start of a new day ..I'm tired of everything

boiz2men:


omobaby my love.... flesh and blood didnt reveal this to u... u haf never make sense b4.. but i give u this... u make small sense today

Oh! so when will YOU ever make sense

adajoe555:




That's what he always say . I'm a fault finder because I called his attention to what I don't like ,he said I shouldn't talk to him .today is making it a week he haven't called ..I'm just broken inside ..I'm trying to move I can't

Heyah sorry Dearie I know how you must have been feeling, try to go out and mix with people at least for that moment you will forget about it and gradually you will move on Dearie..
Although mine called twice in the morning yesterday after a week or two but I didn't pick cause I see no reason talking to her if I actually wants to do this I think it needs to start from communication but I know she might appear in my house one of this days without invitation and am waiting for that, I don't know what she wants she doesn't love me and she doesn't want me to go kind of frustrating,
Dearie just stop crying and try go to your friends and even if they are going to make jest of your situation it better than staying indoor all day crying, it might even help you heal cause that has helped me, I was heartbroken and when I couldn't stand it anymore I went to my friends and by the time they started making jest of me that the girl puncture my heart with those sharp rod on the gates( you know those things that they always do on every entrance gate for security reason) and another saying the girl hit my heart on the rock and all sorts at the end of the day that's how I got heal seeing them everything jesting about my situation and laughing about it, I think you can also try that, all the best

Toks2008:


The problem with expecially most ladies is that they always desire a man who does not want them while neglecting the one who wants them...this is the reason many ladies will forever be heartbroken or be at the receiving end.

I'm sure there is a guy somewhere that you are so so very sure that really desire you and would treat you like a queen but you just don't have feelings for him as many ladies say...what a sorry world.

Today I'm going to get out of my room and make myself happy

Hang out with some friends I will

adajoe555:




I pray today should be a start of a new day ..I'm tired of everything

Sorry the Lord is your strength

Seanjay:




Heyah sorry Dearie I know how you must have been feeling, try to go out and mix with people at least for that moment you will forget about it and gradually you will move on Dearie..
Although mine called twice in the morning yesterday after a week or two but I didn't pick cause I see no reason talking to her if I actually wants to do this I think it needs to start from communication but I know she might appear in my house one of this days without invitation and am waiting for that, I don't know what she wants she doesn't love me and she doesn't want me to go kind of frustrating,
Dearie just stop crying and try go to your friends and even if they are going to make jest of your situation it better than staying indoor all day crying, it might even help you heal cause that has helped me, I was heartbroken and when I couldn't stand it anymore I went to my friends and by the time they started making jest of me that the girl puncture my heart with those sharp rod on the gates( you know those things that they always do on every entrance gate for security reason) and another saying the girl hit my heart on the rock and all sorts at the end of the day that's how I got heal seeing them everything jesting about my situation and laughing about it, I think you can also try that, all the best

Lol...OK I will
I just feel happy now
Thank you

adajoe555:




Today I'm going to get out of my room and make myself happy

Hang out with some friends I will

Good but don't rush into a new affair cos it will probably be a get back affair or revenge affair...just be yourself and the right guy will come...but then an affair is as good as you make it to be.

Toks2008:


Good but don't rush into a new affair cos it will probably be a get back affair or revenge affair...just be yourself and the right guy will come...but then an affair is as good as you make it to be.

No no no I won't I need to get my act straight, know what I want ,before venturing into a new one .I don't want to be hurt this way again

ceejayluv:


I saw the news about people jumping off bridges and seriously, i considered it for a few seconds two months ago when i got trapped into such devastating situation. oh, the rejection.... so humiliating.

Like seriously!

Come closer..just come closer and slowly

cuteme88:
Infact ehhhhh! Is like u are even talking to me directly. I ended My first relationship of 3yrs because it so seems like i was the one trying to make the relationship work, and it turns out to be a one-sided relationship thing. I do the calling,texting and check up on my guy i just like what's all this? Na me toast am abi na him come toast me? If he loves me as he claim make him too dey try reach out to me. And now i just ended another relationship of 2yrs because of the same issue. I till do the calling, texting and check up. Imagine calling your Man to say hello after 3months of no communication and he says I'm busy will call u back! And u till have to wait another 3months for his so called statement of calling u back Chei! Na u come and find me. I never ask to be in a relationship with u, na me till go dey call, text and even try to reach out to u. I no fit shout oooh jawe! Kilode

Thanks for the article.

Lol. This one pass me o.
Well..I just ended one(though its few weeks old). He was everything any woman will pray for but he was always busy. I do the calling,texting and all. To even visit sef na war. So I just decided to take a walk jare. Thank God we haven't gone far but I have fallen in love with him already. It hurts but one has to know when to leave most especially to keep ur sanity.

All dz love thing tire me aswear

Toks2008:


If you truly desire someone,you can't help but show it...cos it comes effortlessly.

Not entirely true. Some people become unable to show feelings...even if they do because of past hurts in love or lack of personal fulfilment. I've been in that position for the two reasons...was very heartbroken...and totally not satisfied with what I had used the past 4 years for. Turns out that as I separated, good ladies came around, but then I just couldn't return the attention nor affection...I had just put my emotions under lock and key, it was about improving myself every blessed day...if I failed to do something useful towards my goals in a day,my countenance will change...till d ladies left...one by one. One stuck around for a full year... The girl call tire, shout tire, cry tire....but rather than treat her badly in a relationship.. I let her walk away. We r still in contact tho...the 2 and was my high school crush...it just died...after 4 months.
Point is we should not always put the object of our affection on a pedestal especially guys, they might have their issues which they will never tell u about. Doesn't mean they hate u, they are not just ready to love. Love or feelings of attachment should always come after careful evaluation of the person in question to avoid story.

Toks2008:


Like seriously!

Come closer..just come closer and slowly

Yeah, i deserved more than that slap seriously... The irony of the whole thing is that everyone thought i was the one who had the upper hand in the relationship. Still dunno how she managed to pull that impression among my friends and family.

@toks2008....i love this post. It's making a lot of sense and also a source of encouragement to someone out there!!! A big thank you bro!

#lessonlearnt#

.

yvonnechaka:


Life never ceases to amaze me.....similar case with me but still waiting patiently for the guy and at the same time hoping for a new relationship

If your case is similar to mine. plssss sis move on.... don't wait for him anymore. What i mean by moving on is not to be on the hunt for another boyfriend oooh. Just focus on your life, on what u are into presently. Make he dey do shakara to call, text or reach out to u. That's his own cup of tea. Enjoy your tea; do not reach out to him anymore, we have try the best we can to communicate. Na him dey bounce the communication Cheque so be it! Cheers*

adajoe555:



Lol...OK I will
I just feel happy now
Thank you

That's the spirit, am happy that I could put a smile on your face this morning even though am going thru something similar to yours at least that's a sign that today is gonna be a different, your moniker sounds Igbo I hope you are not one of those tribalism bigot on here, cause the person God just use to put a smile on your face is a Yoruba and my name is Olamilekan Johnson and yours ?

yvonnechaka:


Life never ceases to amaze me.....similar case with me but still waiting patiently for the guy and at the same time hoping for a new relationship

If your case is similar to mine. plssss sis move on.... don't wait for him anymore. What i mean by moving on is not to be on the hunt for another boyfriend oooh. Just focus on your life, on what u are into presently. Make he dey do shakara to call, text or reach out to u. Another bobo go show himself to your life. Don't fall a victim twice like i do as in been the only partner trying to reach out and communicate. Let your New relationship be two sided! both of u in joint union looking out for each other.

That's his own cup of tea. Enjoy your tea; do not reach out to him anymore, we have try the best that we could to communicate. Na him dey bounce the communication Cheque so be it! Cheers*

adajoe555:
One sided expectations hurts a lot ..just as am going through right now..I'm really depressed. I can't go a day without crying. I'm trying my best to pull out but it still keep coming. For one week now I've just been in my room ,I haven't gone out ( crying)

Sorry about this dear, We can learn from King Solomon when he finds himself in a one sided Love with Lady Shulamite.. He braced himself up and moved on , The last statement that ends Song of Solomon confirms that . If such a Wealthy King could experience such, how much more others . The best we can do is trust in Jehovah God, the source of True Love . Pray to him and as someone suggested move and hangout with friends , alot of suggestions are also in the book " Young People Ask Volume 1&2 " . which can help , I really don't like seeing Others in a depressed state, If you would like us to talk more ... you can send me a mail .

its not easy but not impossible to move on.

adajoe555:



Lol...OK I will
I just feel happy now
Thank you

That's the spirit, am happy that I could put a smile on your face this morning even though am going thru something similar to yours at least that's a sign that today is gonna be a different, your moniker sounds Igbo I hope you are not one of those tribalism bigot on here, cause the person God just use to put a smile on your face is a Yoruba and my name is Olamilekan Johnson and yours ?