I talk about the fact that men tend to panic
as a relationship starts to get serious. This is usually a
result of the "infatuation" phase running its course (this is
not a bad thing and it's no one's fault -

The next phase is "attachment," where your commitment to one
another is solidified, you're on the same page emotionally,
and you can start looking toward your future together.

Unfortunately, most guys need to make a little pit stop
between "infatuation land" and "attachment ville." When a man
feels himself getting in deep with a woman (even if he's sure
he's crazy about her), he sometimes will get overcome by fear
and pull back for a while.

Now mind you, this is his fear of the CONCEPT of commitment,
not fear of a commitment with YOU. he's probably using experience
as a frame of reference (i.e. "marriage might mean I'll be
hurt or rejected"), so now that the two of you are getting
really close, he might be worried that now's the time he'll
screw it up.

Okay, as for what to do, I recommend keeping your life busy
and full (which sounds easy to do with your wonderful family)
so that you resist feeling "needy" about the outcome of your
relationship with this man.

Give him a little time to sit with his feelings and sort
things out. chances are he'll come
to the conclusion that he can't live without you on his own.


Just the reassurance that comes from him knowing that you're
willing to take things one day at a time might be enough to
help him settle down, process his fears and concerns, and
come to the realization that you're a total keeper!

Good luck, to all THE NAIRALAND ladies.