Satan Writes a Letter to Pat Robertson


Dear Pat Robertson,

January 16, 2010 -- "Star Tribune" - -I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.

Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing.

An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article24412.htm

AIRDIG:


Satan Writes a Letter to Pat Robertson


Dear Pat Robertson,

January 16, 2010 -- "Star Tribune" - -I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.

Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing.

An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article24412.htm

lwkmd

oyb:

lwkmd

HAHAHAHAHHA. Really laughing my but off. This is really funny stuff. To a large extent, I agree with this letter because Pat has so much detail on the deal between the Haitians and the devil it is absolutely impossible for him not to have been there when it happened. HAHAHAHAHA. Still laughing my but off.

What I can't believe is how some people would even agree with Pat Robertson at a time like this. Ask yourselves, if you were Haitain and had lost your family, probably looking at their bodies as bulldozer loaded them into a truck along with hundred others and is dumped them in a large pit, how would you feel right now. Pat Robertson had a right to his opinion no matter how absurd it sounded but was this a good time air an opinion like that. What is even more surprising is comments that go as far as supporting his remark using bible verses as stand points.

Natural disasters do not recognize religion or have preference for anyone, the just happen. Sometimes they can be avoided only to a small percentage and most times they occur and kill hundreds of people as the have done on most occasions. I don't see how God is responsible for all these. If this God in heaven is as some of you guys have spoken then he should have destroyed the Greeks and Italians who still keep monuments of pagan worship as Tourist attractions or still name their children after pagan deities.

I am surprised how pastors today claim a level of spiritualism that sounds just as fetish as the pagan worship they condemn. "God is punishing Haiti for a pact they had with the devil", like he was there when this so called pact was made or God just decided, "I must tell Pat Robertson what I smashed these heathen Haitians".

Some years ago two pastors came on national TV in Nigeria to condemn each other because one of them visited another pastor who was considered to be controversial in his manner of worship. I remember one of these to pastors giving a spiritual explanation of how the other one was not yet a demon but disciple of a demon and sited other pastors who were also demons and whole lot of stuff. At the end of the day I wondered whether he was preaching or giving a lecture on demonology in Nigerian churches.

Many years ago these Haitians revolted against their slave masters and fought them off. They were a community of slaves that the best thing they know how to do was to serve a master. Imagine how that kind of community would be, one with no direction, more over how many times since them have they been invaded by a foreign aggressor, which has been a common practice by many western nations.

Pat Robertson is not God and cannot tell you what God has in plan for anyone. The Germans took the lives of 6million Jews, I don't see an earthquake or a plague or poverty in Germany today. People should think first before you make comments concerning what God has install for another person. You don't know and you cannot even begin to understand how God works. If you love bible verses them I am sure you find this in the bible, he works in mysterious ways, so how can you claim to know when he is responsible for something.

Pat Robertson is alive and healthy today. He should thank God for that, instead of telling people who have lost how God is punishing them.

It is a bout time these fake prophets consult a psychiatrist.

Thanks Gtitan you made my day with your brilliant take on this issue.

I think people should stop all these rubbish talk about 'Haiti signing a pact with the devil'! It's stupid and makes christianity look bad.

whether or not they made a pact with the devil, earthquakes are caused by unstable tectonic plates. not by God or the Devil you know shaking the earth cos they are like bored or something.

@Suprted Thank you my friend. Its just that I makes ask the questions where the heck are we going especially as Christians. We shouldn't be saying such things, we really don't have the right because we don't know. Just like someone rightly put after my post, there is the explanation of Teutonic plates, that completely describes the phenomenon of an Earthquake. I don't understand how being religious or spiritual is an excuse to make (I mean no offense) uneducated, unintellectual and poorly informed statements. What is worse is to see how many people are so blinded by their religious beliefs that they would support anything, as long as it comes out of a man of God.

There have also been several killings in the past of Christian pastors and some Christians blame those murders on the influence of Voodoo. In Haiti, some Christians are enemies of Voodoo and feel that it is devil worship; these Christians say that Haiti's misery is because they are being punished by God for the sins of the Voodoo religion.[citation needed] In spite of this criticism by some Haitian Christians, many practitioners of Haitian Voodoo continue to self-identify as Roman Catholic, even to the point of incorporating the Lord's Prayer and the Hail Mary into their services for the Lwa.[3]
TAKEN RIGHT OUT OF AOL'S DICTIONARY! ITS CALLED SANTERIA AND IT VOODOO, DEVIL WORSHIP MIXED IN WITH CHRISTIANITY!

emilia8:

There have also been several killings in the past of Christian pastors and some Christians blame those murders on the influence of Voodoo. In Haiti, some Christians are enemies of Voodoo and feel that it is devil worship; these Christians say that Haiti's misery is because they are being punished by God for the sins of the Voodoo religion.[citation needed] In spite of this criticism by some Haitian Christians, many practitioners of Haitian Voodoo continue to self-identify as Roman Catholic, even to the point of incorporating the Lord's Prayer and the Hail Mary into their services for the Lwa.[3]
TAKEN RIGHT OUT OF AOL'S DICTIONARY! ITS CALLED SANTERIA AND IT VOODOO, DEVIL WORSHIP MIXED IN WITH CHRISTIANITY!

This phenomena is quite common to almost all religions which were spread across the globe through colonization. Even as far back as the era of Constantinople in Rome, leader (both religious and political) have hard to merge one form of pagan worship with a popular religion such as Christianity in a bid to keep their people united. You see, on of the biggest forms for segregation amongst human beings comes from the fact that we are of different beliefs which bring different philosophies and ideologies.

You find in many countries which were formal colonies of Western Nations a mixture of their traditional beliefs and that of their colonial masters. In fact days like Christmas and beliefs like Santa Claus all have pagan roots. So when see or hear Santeria, it is because the Haitian has decided not to forget his original belief instead he has decided to incorporate it into the one forced on him by his colonial masters. And believe me, to the Haitian, Christianity is the religion of their Slave Masters and a definite sign that reminds them of oppression and human rights violation.

I have never personally experienced Voodoo so I cannot tell you whether or not it is devil worship but I know that on major characteristic of popular religions such as Islam and Christianity to alienate other religions by demonizing them. This is very common with African countries. Sometimes it makes me sad to know that one day, Africans may completely forget their roots and culture as a result of growing popular cultures. Western Nations, even though they keep spreading popular religions, they seem to always preserve their one time pagan heritage. Why, we name planets after pagan gods, we name scientific and technological wonders and achievements after pagan god, Apollo 11, Venresa 9, why the very word "ocean" comes from "oceanis", BUT IN NIGERIA, I SEE PEOPLE CHANGING THEIR NAMES AND PASTORS ASKING PEOPLE TO CHANGE THEIR NAMES BECAUSE IT DOSE NOT SUIT THE CHRISTIAN DOCTRINE. My cousins name is Aphrodite, she is Greek, a native of Thessaloniki and they are Christians. Aphrodite is the name of the goddess of love.

People should leave the Haitians and their Voodoo alone. If it suits them fine and does not affect you then let them be. Earthquakes and natural disasters have nothing to do with religion or spiritualism. They are natural phenomenons that have been taking place on this earth even before the time of man. Look it up. They will remain and will continue to happen even after man is no more.

No one deseves to die in an earthquake and be used in a quakes claim to fame. I hope the one with the real pact with the devil, gets his earth quaked!!! Pat trades Hatian sorrow for personal notification, attention etc, not hard to tell who has the pact!!

No2Atheism: @lapyexpert

- If you are a scammer . . . please stop spreading information about a website that looks like a scam . . . I hope you repent and change before you destroy you soul . . .

- If you are a scammer . . . . do you realise that any scam money you make from Haiti disaster is going to be blood money . . . cus its is money you made by taking advantage of the and disaster/death that befell others.

- If you are not a scammer . . . then please also stop spreading information about a website that looks like a scam . . .

u must b an assholic fool wiv dis your name