maxibrainz02:
my regards to your husband

Thanks Bro

Toks2008:


We are divorced.

Ooh, I am sorry about that

LifeIsGuhd:


Ooh, I am sorry about that

Why sorry? shits happen in life and you either let it weigh you down or you learn from it and move on.

Why else do I want to marry a financially independent lady? it's because I have learned a big lesson from my previous marriage

Purelady:
While dating we discussed everything about family and our various expectations in marriage, from then till now, everything has been splendid, seems as if we are still honeymooning, I bless God daily for making us found each other. 10+ years and still counting, every day na romance. Baba God should pick our calls and bless our union with children that's all, even with this, I dey gbadun the marriage, I return back all the glory to God alone who makes all things beautiful.

Amen....God will surely answer ur prayers...

Dyt:
Wow
So much so good stories
Now I wonder where the bad spouses come from

God bless una marriage over and over


Sisisioge
I hope you are asking questions already

Hehehehe....u ehn.

StephDamielola:


I AM NOT MARRIED

Can we make things happen?

Toks2008:

We are divorced.

I hv understood why you hate women so much.
I suggest you get married to a working class Lady, if your EGO will let you.

Toks2008:


Why sorry? shuts happen in life and you either let it weigh you down or you learn from it and move on.

Why else do I want to marry a financially independent lady? it's because I have learned a big lesson from my previous marriage

Totally true @bolded
However financially independent ladies come with their own wahala.

It is well...

Purelady:
While dating we discussed everything about family and our various expectations in marriage, from then till now, everything has been splendid, seems as if we are still honeymooning, I bless God daily for making us found each other. 10+ years and still counting, every day na romance. Baba God should pick our calls and bless our union with children that's all, even with this, I dey gbadun the marriage, I return back all the glory to God alone who makes all things beautiful.

with one mind am saying this prayer... GOD WILL BLESS YOUR WOMB BEFORE THIS YEAR RUNS OUT,BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE BREASTFEEDING YOUR TWINS IN JESUS NAME

LifeIsGuhd:


Totally true @bolded
However financially independent ladies come with their own wahala.

It is well...

Every lady has a peculiar wahala but at least let her be financially independent not because I need her dime and in fact I will still spoil her with my own money even if she makes millions a month but temi yemi.

mineANDurs:



I hv understood why you hate women so much.

I suggest you get married to a working class Lady, if your EGO will let you.

On the contrary,I do not hate any woman. If my bluntness is mistaken for hatred then there is nothing I can do to remedy that.

I'm very down to earth and you will never see any hateful words used against women in my threads but it's just unfortunate that most ladies apply sentiments to logical matters so they tend to read my threads upside down

Toks2008:


Every lady human has a peculiar wahala but at least let her be financially independent not because I need her dime and in fact I will still spoil her with my own money even if she makes millions a month but temi yemi.

werent you spoiling your Ex-wife well enough?
who initiated the divorce?

whats "temi yemi"

Toks2008:


Why sorry? shuts happen in life and you either let it weigh you down or you learn from it and move on.

Why else do I want to marry a financially independent lady? it's because I have learned a big lesson from my previous marriage

A financially independent lady can still have affinity for money.

mineANDurs:



I hv understood why you hate women so much.

I suggest you get married to a working class Lady, if your EGO will let you.

Are you sure this is a case of Ego? The lady could have been unnecessarily burdensome and financially imprudent

Toks2008:


Why sorry? shuts happen in life and you either let it weigh you down or you learn from it and move on.

Why else do I want to marry a financially independent lady? it's because I have learned a big lesson from my previous marriage

shits really do happen. Marriage is an eye opener. The worse thing that can happen to any woman is to be financially dependent o n her man. My previous marriage taught me that too

before i got married am a very social person and loved to party, i and my hubby courted for Jes 3months before we got married tho we knew each oda when we where in soul he was 5yrs older dan me in class ,but when we met again we picked tinz up. he's romantic but it not enuf for me maybe bcuz of my past relationships av ad in d past,i endured all of it but one day i had to come out and said my mind that i needed more romance b4 sex but to my surprise he improved gradually and now everytin OK... i never wanted a perfect man but i prayed for a man who is ready to correct his mistakes. no marriage is perfect i av my clauses.

Not married...looking forward for a happy home when it time

I married my Enemy, we hate each other back then and we were very nasty to each other (and you can imagine how enemy looks at only the bad sides of their enemies! ).

- We went our ways and fate brought us together again, after many years and we have matured!
- Then we started being less critical and became just Hi-hi friends.
- Then we started realising that "this person is not that bad as l used to think"?
- Then we became "good friends" and make jest of each other and "those days" when it was fire for fire!
- This is when we realised that we knew too much about the other person!
- Then friendship got so good and so close that one couldn't do without seeing the other for even just one day!
- Then each person said: l cant marry you because you are my friend and l dont want to lose such a good friend like you!
- Then each person began to realize that life cant be just complete, without the other person around..... and that is when LOVE overcame all other outstanding obstacles.

In our case, all the questions were not asked directly but all questions were answered by real life events that unfolded with time.
Marry your FRIEND and all other things will fall in-place!
Mind you, your 'FRIEND' is not necessarily that person that smiles at you, say good things about you or stick around you just because things are rosy for you!

Your real friend is that person who has seen THE WORST of YOU...and still thinks you are wonderful to be with.
He/She has seen you in Poverty, in Anger, in Sickness, in unfaithfulness (cheating!), without make-up , smelled your mouth when you have not brushed your teeth , in Joblessness, e.t.c`

Nothing surprises them anymore.

Married to that same "enemy" of mine now, for over a decade! ..and l am loving it like Mad!

optional1:



my mama nah
ur baby mama

Her pikin don grow oh, so tey she don even get boifrnd and the boifrnd dey plan to come see you for wedding list

are you a baby mama?

carammel:
Every marriage has it ups and downs,no matter the questions you asked while courting,you can never touch every aspect. It is only when you get in that you learn more and more.
I have come to realise that no one has it all,the couple may have a sweet relationship with each other but with financial constraints,others may be inability to have kids,some may be generational issues and many more.
Marriage is a black market,you can never know what you will get until you are in it, you can only hope for the best.

trust me you can ask nd know up to 90% it all depends on the level of openness and honesty of both party...

If his attitude to work was (is) not the way it was you would've been selling at a corner shop instead of been here with us on Nairaland


I hope he feels the same about you.



One last one (useless one ) was you are virgin when you Met(Marry) him?

PaperLace:
I can't think of anything. We talked about everything: job, kids, extended family, finance, sex, projects,etc.

Maybe we should have talked a little more about his attitude to work. He works too hard, always cancelling vacations and postponing leaves(I used to think his work is more important, but now I am used to it. Had to learn his work, that way I can help out). Aside that, he's almost perfect, a wonderful husband and father to us. In another life, it has to be him, if not _ I rather be a fish or lion.

If his attitude to work was (is) not the way it was you would've been selling at a corner shop instead of been here with us on Nairaland


I hope he feels the same about you. abi na you dey carry am like my friend here with that Bag of Cement



One last one (useless one ) was you are virgin when you Met(Marry) him?

PaperLace:
I can't think of anything. We talked about everything: job, kids, extended family, finance, sex, projects,etc.

Maybe we should have talked a little more about his attitude to work. He works too hard, always cancelling vacations and postponing leaves(I used to think his work is more important, but now I am used to it. Had to learn his work, that way I can help out). Aside that, he's almost perfect, a wonderful husband and father to us. In another life, it has to be him, if not _ I rather be a fish or lion.

Katier00:
shits really do happen. Marriage is an eye opener. The worse thing that can happen to any woman is to be financially dependent o n her man. My previous marriage taught me that too

You are sooo wrong!

Things like Money become important like you put it, because your marriage is already failed and dead, in the first place.
If the marriage was what a marriage is supposed to be, then one spouse money, is also the money of the other spouse.

As a matter of fact, the working spouse works hard for only one reason: To please and provide for the other spouse!

My wife works but l cant sat categorically how much she earns as of today, because l dont really care as long as she is fine (l know she earns well) but she tells me that she is not contented unless she spends from my own sweat!
So, giving her money has become a ritual sort of. She does not really need it but she still gets it. Women...ehn!
if she were to stop working today, she will still live the way she lives when she was working; because l will ensure that happens.

I have seen marriages where, for the sake of proper upbringing of the children, one spouse who was earning less but has a very good relationship with the children (husband), agreed to lay-off work for five years (bathing, feeding, school runs, lesson runs, e.t.c) were all done by him while the wife was at work.
Her salary is transferred into a joint account and both have access (including ATMS) to the same account.
It was never an issue because both understood that they are doing it for their family and their marriage.
It also never made the wife disrespect her husband such that everyone envied the man so much and heaped praise on his wife... for being the symbol of motherhood.

Maybe you were disrespectful of the same man whose income you depend on? (Just guessing, l know that when marriage goes wrong and love flies out the window, a lot of nasty things can happen).
But dont use your own bad situation, as a yardstick to generalise here.

You write glowingly

Daboomb:
I married my Enemy, we hate each other back then and we were very nasty to each other (and you can imagine how enemy looks at only the bad sides of their enemies! ).

- We went our ways and fate brought us together again, after many years and we have matured!
- Then we started being less critical and became just Hi-hi friends.
- Then we started realising that "this person is not that bad as l used to think"?
- Then we became "good friends" and make jest of each other and "those days" when it was fire for fire!
- This is when we realised that we knew too much about the other person!
- Then friendship got so good and so close that one couldn't do without seeing the other for even just one day!
- Then each person said: l cant marry you because you are my friend and l dont want to lose such a good friend like you!
- Then each person began to realize that life cant be just complete, without the other person around..... and that is when LOVE overcame all other outstanding obstacles.

In our case, all the questions were not asked directly but all questions were answered by real life events that unfolded with time.
Marry your FRIEND and all other things will fall in-place!
Mind you, your 'FRIEND' is not necessarily that person that smiles at you, say good things about you or stick around you just because things are rosy for you!

Your real friend is that person who has seen THE WORST of YOU...and still thinks you are wonderful to be with.
He/She has seen you in Poverty, in Anger, in Sickness, in unfaithfulness (cheating!), without make-up , smelled your mouth when you have not brushed your teeth , in Joblessness, e.t.c`

Nothing surprises them anymore.

Married to that same "enemy" of mine now, for over a decade! ..and l am loving it like Mad!

Toks2008:


Why sorry? shuts happen in life and you either let it weigh you down or you learn from it and move on.

Why else do I want to marry a financially independent lady? it's because I have learned a big lesson from my previous marriage

Do you think her "financial dependence" was what caused the marital breakdown?
Do you think being financially independent would prevent all those things that led to the "bad feelings" in the past?

Reflect for a minute and think about the starting years when things were rosy and lovely. How come financial dependence did not affect feelings back then?

Financial dependence may become an issue when Divorce is being considered and the man has to fork out money to maintain the ex-spouse without income

I say that it was when other problems crashed the "good feelings", that the financial dependence became obvious and caused further problems.
It was not the initial cause of the problem.
When LOVE vanishes from a marriage, every other thing becomes a PROBLEM
But When there is LOVE in a marriage, every other PROBLEM sort of Vanishes or become inconsequential

happy you have both moved on.

MizMyColi:
You write glowingly

Thanks for the compliment Ma.

How many kids do you want to have?

The question i wish i asked : if it comes to it, will you choose your family over me. Or me over your family

Daboomb:
I married my Enemy, we hate each other back then and we were very nasty to each other (and you can imagine how enemy looks at only the bad sides of their enemies! ).

- We went our ways and fate brought us together again, after many years and we have matured!
- Then we started being less critical and became just Hi-hi friends.
- Then we started realising that "this person is not that bad as l used to think"?
- Then we became "good friends" and make jest of each other and "those days" when it was fire for fire!
- This is when we realised that we knew too much about the other person!
- Then friendship got so good and so close that one couldn't do without seeing the other for even just one day!
- Then each person said: l cant marry you because you are my friend and l dont want to lose such a good friend like you!
- Then each person began to realize that life cant be just complete, without the other person around..... and that is when LOVE overcame all other outstanding obstacles.

In our case, all the questions were not asked directly but all questions were answered by real life events that unfolded with time.
Marry your FRIEND and all other things will fall in-place!
Mind you, your 'FRIEND' is not necessarily that person that smiles at you, say good things about you or stick around you just because things are rosy for you!

Your real friend is that person who has seen THE WORST of YOU...and still thinks you are wonderful to be with.
He/She has seen you in Poverty, in Anger, in Sickness, in unfaithfulness (cheating!), without make-up , smelled your mouth when you have not brushed your teeth , in Joblessness, e.t.c`

Nothing surprises them anymore.

Married to that same "enemy" of mine now, for over a decade! ..and l am loving it like Mad!

Awwwnnn!!
I love this

mindworx:


A financially independent lady can still have affinity for money.

Oh yes but that will be on a whole new level...you can't really understand..

I love to spoil my lady and I'm an alpha male to the core meaning even if my wife makes N2m a month I will care less and never ask her for 1kobo but instead I will spend what I can afford on her.

But if hard time knocks I believe she won't be a threat to me because she can take care of herself at least while she allows me the chance to pick up but when a lady totally depends on you for finance and you are facing hard times,the pressure doubles and the resultant effect is usually bad...