Are teenage and youthful relationships really worth it?

Age is just a number. The assersion most people make when faced with the age hurdle
Many also make this assersion in relationships today

For so long in African communities, dating and marriage was restricted to certain age group. Youths and teenagers of certain age were not encouraged to date or go into serious relationships.

However, the coming of globalization and spread of western style of living in metropolitan Africa have changed the rules. Many young people now go into serious relationships. Young people now cohabitate from university days. Boys and girls of age 17 now have sex and discuss about it openly

Yet, why some may have successful stories of their teenage and youthful fantasies becoming relalities, others struggle with the heart breaks and scares of teenage and youthful relationships through out their lifes. Many even develop hatred for opposite sex in the process

Now is youthful and teenage relationships worth it? Is it necessary? Shouldnt we just do what most our parent did and wait to we are emotionally mature?

Cc lalastica

Waiting till you're mature doesn't guarantee success in a relationship.

"Good things can happen at anytime in life" - my mom

NairalandCS:
It is.

why

sunshineG:
why

It gives you an opportunity to grow together as a couple, learn what makes him/her thick, check comparability etc.

All these take time.

NairalandCS:


It gives you an opportunity to grow together as a couple, learn what makes him/her thick, check comparability etc.

All these take time.

so what of those that don't grow and got their hearts broken

I can't really say it's worth it, but I don't think it's a bad idea. The whole experience and event helps to shape us. Every interaction with people, be it platonic or romantic would come in handy later in life. You learn how to communicate and keep a relationship. It's part of our growing process.

Bad news is, they rarely work out, so...it's important teens have that in mind and prepare for it. Don't make it your whole life, you still have much ahead of you. Avoid unnecessary sexual partners and also abusive partners.

This is 2017, what our parents did won't work. I also noticed people admire the longevity of old marriages, not really its substance.

There is no fast rule to this...just enter every relationship with an open mind and hope for the best.

pocohantas:
I can't really say it's worth it, but I don't think it's a bad idea. The whole experience and event helps to shape us. Every interaction with people, be it platonic or romantic would come in handy later in life. You learn how to communicate and keep a relationship. It's part of our growing process.

Bad news is, they rarely work out, so...it's important teens have that in mind and prepare for it. Don't make it your whole life, you still have much ahead of you. Avoid unnecessary sexual partners and also abusive partners.

This is 2017, what our parents did won't work. I also noticed people admire the longevity of old marriages, not really its substance.

There is no fast rule to this...just enter every relationship with an open mind and hope for the best.

well written
But sex is always the grey area in such relationships
What do you suggest in that aspect

It's not right, I think the best time to go into a relationship is when you are matured enough,

sunshineG:
so what of those that don't grow and got their hearts broken

Keep trying.

Asorockqueen:
It's not right, I think the best time to go into a relationship is when you are matured enough,

We are talking about the age bracket here. At what age do you think is 'Mature enough' ?

Op... Let me start by correcting your impression that youths and teenagers were not encouraged to date or enter a serious relationship in Africa in the past.
Actually, there are ethnic groups in Africa where girls below the age of ten were betrothed to a young man as his future wife. I also know that most of our parents got married as youths and teenagers. My late mum, for example, got into a relationship with my dad when she was about 17 or 18 years old and still in secondary school. My dad had to wait till she finished school before marrying her at about 19 or 20 years old. My dad was already in his 30s then and was ready to settle down. Most girls in those days got married before they turn 21.
But the problem today is that our young and teenage girls don't believe they are ready for marriage and hence, they hardly enter a serious relationship with guys who are ready to settle down. All they do now is wasting their teenage and youthful age, dating fellow teenagers and guys who are not ready to settle down even in the next 6-10 years. After getting used and dumped by many of such guys, probably destroy their bodies and reputation in the process, they suddenly wake up around the age of 26-30 only to start looking for husbands with severe desperation.
As a young man that knows all these, I can't marry such desperate girls who are getting close to 30 and pretending to be good girls. I simply get a young girl of 17, observe her closely and start a relationship with her. Though she's still in school and not yet ready for marriage, but she has proved to be the best among all the girls I have dated in my entire life so I am already planning to marry her. Between now and the time we'll get married, I will teach her so many things that will help her to attain complete maturity. Apart from her virginity being intact, there are many other benefits I derived from dating a teenager. So I am advising fellow young men to do the same.

gentlegenius:
Hmmm...

what are you thinking bro

NairalandCS:


We are talking about the age bracket here. At what age do you think is 'Mature enough' ?

Hmmm I think from 21

Asorockqueen:

Hmmm I think from 21

Maturity has little or nothing to do with age.

sunshineG:
what are you thinking bro

My thoughts on this issue is already written above.

gentlegenius:
Op... Let me start by correcting the impression that youths and teenagers were not encouraged to date or enter a serious relationship in Africa in the past.
Actually, there are ethnic groups in Africa where girls below the age of ten were betrothed to a young man as his future wife. I also know that most of our parents got married as youths and teenagers. My late mum, for example, got into a relationship with my dad when she was about 17 or 18 years old and still in secondary school. My dad had to wait till she finished school before marrying her at about 19 or 20 years old. My dad was already in his 30s then and was ready to settle down. Most girls in those days got married before they turn 21.
But the problem today is that our young and teenage girls don't believe they are ready for marriage and hence, they hardly enter a serious relationship with guys who are ready to settle down. All they do now is wasting their teenage and youthful age, dating fellow teenagers and guys who are not ready to settle down even in the next 6-10 years. After getting used and dumped by many of such guys, probably destroy their bodies and reputation in the process, they suddenly wake up around the age of 26-30 only to start looking for husbands with severe desperation.
As a young man that knows all these, I can't marry such desperate girls who are getting close to 30 and pretending to be good girls. I simply get a young girl of 17, observe her closely and start a relationship with her. Though she's still in school and not yet ready for marriage, but she has proved to be the best among all the girls I have dated in my entire life so I am already planning to marry her. Between now and the time we'll get married, I will teach her so many things that will help her to attain complete maturity. Apart from her virginity being intact, there are many other benefits I derived from dating a teenager. So I am advising fellow young men to do the same.

cosign.

Asorockqueen:

Hmmm I think from 21

You know age does not equal maturity ?

So many people at that age are still acting like babies you know ?

gentlegenius:

My thoughts on this issue is already written above.

kk

NairalandCS:

You know age does not equal maturity ?
So many people at that age are still acting like babies you know ?

Yeah

gentlegenius:
Op... Let me start by correcting your impression that youths and teenagers were not encouraged to date or enter a serious relationship in Africa in the past.

But the problem today is that our young and teenage girls don't believe they are ready for marriage and hence, they hardly enter a serious relationship with guys who are ready to settle down. All they do now is wasting their teenage and youthful age, dating fellow teenagers and guys who are not ready to settle down even in the next 6-10 years. After getting used and dumped by many of such guys, probably destroy their bodies and reputation in the process, they suddenly wake up around the age of 26-30 only to start looking for husbands with severe desperation.


As a young man that knows all these, I can't marry such desperate girls who are getting close to 30 and pretending to be good girls. I simply get a young girl of 17, observe her closely and start a relationship with her.

You nailed it man!

gentlegenius:
Op... Let me start by correcting your impression that youths and teenagers were not encouraged to date or enter a serious relationship in Africa in the past.
Actually, there are ethnic groups in Africa where girls below the age of ten were betrothed to a young man as his future wife. I also know that most of our parents got married as youths and teenagers. My late mum, for example, got into a relationship with my dad when she was about 17 or 18 years old and still in secondary school. My dad had to wait till she finished school before marrying her at about 19 or 20 years old. My dad was already in his 30s then and was ready to settle down. Most girls in those days got married before they turn 21.
But the problem today is that our young and teenage girls don't believe they are ready for marriage and hence, they hardly enter a serious relationship with guys who are ready to settle down. All they do now is wasting their teenage and youthful age, dating fellow teenagers and guys who are not ready to settle down even in the next 6-10 years. After getting used and dumped by many of such guys, probably destroy their bodies and reputation in the process, they suddenly wake up around the age of 26-30 only to start looking for husbands with severe desperation.
As a young man that knows all these, I can't marry such desperate girls who are getting close to 30 and pretending to be good girls. I simply get a young girl of 17, observe her closely and start a relationship with her. Though she's still in school and not yet ready for marriage, but she has proved to be the best among all the girls I have dated in my entire life so I am already planning to marry her. Between now and the time we'll get married, I will teach her so many things that will help her to attain complete maturity. Apart from her virginity being intact, there are many other benefits I derived from dating a teenager. So I am advising fellow young men to do the same.

first of all, bro
I always use words like some and most to correct the notion that I am generalizing

Secondly, you are talking about arranged marriage which still goes on today, not that those marriage don't have their problems but I will discourse that another day

Now your mom and dad and even your story is quiet unique, even if they meet each other and started dating themselves
Most young men at age 21 are still in uni
And whjle they date and have sex, the sociiety then dosent accept it
So they will not start living as couples from that age

To the point of my post, I was asking a simple question based on what is now the norm in the society today which was abopted from western life
Where young men of even 23 and young ladies of 18 now cohabitate in the name of love
Only to be heart broken and develop hatred for the opposite sex

Nairaland is a good case study bro

Plus who will marry the ones that didn't marry as a teenager going by your advice

tosyne2much:
You nailed it man!

bro he is taking about married marriage not the same thing I am talking about

Most times arranged marriage is the work of the parent or the guardian not the two people involved in the marriage it is different from my topic

sunshineG:
first of all, bro
I always use words like some and most to correct the notion that I am generalizing

Secondly, you are talking about arranged marriage which still goes on today, not that those marriage don't have their problems but I will discourse that another day

Now your mom and dad and even your story is quiet unique, even if they meet each other and started dating themselves
Most young men at age 21 are still in uni
And whjle they date and have sex, the sociiety then dosent accept it
So they will not start living as couples from that age

To the point of my post, I was asking a simple question based on what is now the norm in the society today which was abopted from western life
Where young men of even 23 and young ladies of 18 now cohabitate in the name of love
Only to be heart broken and develop hatred for the opposite sex

Nairaland is a good case study bro

OK... Pardon my oversight, I should have noticed that you were not generalizing.
Apologies again for putting up that long story.
The simple answer to your question is: Teenage relationship and dating should be encouraged but well guided so that they don't date the wrong set of people and end up being used and dumped.
I also think that teenage relationships is more beneficial to girls than boys and should mostly be encouraged among girls.
Quote me if you need to know the reasons for this.

gentlegenius:

OK... Pardon my oversight, I should have noticed that you were not generalizing.
Apologies again for putting up that long story.
The simple answer to your question is: Teenage relationship and dating should be encouraged but well guided so that they don't date the wrong set of people and end up being used and dumped.
I also think that teenage relationships is more beneficial to girls than boys and should mostly be encouraged among girls.
Quote me if you need to know the reasons for this.

yes bro
Let us all learn
That was the piont of the thread

gentlegenius:
Op... Let me start by correcting your impression that youths and teenagers were not encouraged to date or enter a serious relationship in Africa in the past.
Actually, there are ethnic groups in Africa where girls below the age of ten were betrothed to a young man as his future wife. I also know that most of our parents got married as youths and teenagers. My late mum, for example, got into a relationship with my dad when she was about 17 or 18 years old and still in secondary school. My dad had to wait till she finished school before marrying her at about 19 or 20 years old. My dad was already in his 30s then and was ready to settle down. Most girls in those days got married before they turn 21.
But the problem today is that our young and teenage girls don't believe they are ready for marriage and hence, they hardly enter a serious relationship with guys who are ready to settle down. All they do now is wasting their teenage and youthful age, dating fellow teenagers and guys who are not ready to settle down even in the next 6-10 years. After getting used and dumped by many of such guys, probably destroy their bodies and reputation in the process, they suddenly wake up around the age of 26-30 only to start looking for husbands with severe desperation.
As a young man that knows all these, I can't marry such desperate girls who are getting close to 30 and pretending to be good girls. I simply get a young girl of 17, observe her closely and start a relationship with her. Though she's still in school and not yet ready for marriage, but she has proved to be the best among all the girls I have dated in my entire life so I am already planning to marry her. Between now and the time we'll get married, I will teach her so many things that will help her to attain complete maturity. Apart from her virginity being intact, there are many other benefits I derived from dating a teenager. So I am advising fellow young men to do the same.

d truth is dat wen she becomes more mature, she might end up loving anoda guyy

sunshineG:
yes bro
Let us all learn
That was the piont of the thread

Teenage relationship is more useful to girls than boys for the following reasons:
1. Women don't have much time to play around like boys do before settling down. So a teenage girl is always closer to marriage than a teenage boy. Marriage is the authentic reason for dating and relationships. If a teenage girl is in a relationship with the right guy, she could end up getting married to him someday whereas no matter the kind of girl a teenage boy dates, he has almost zero chance of marrying her and that makes heartbreak inevitable. As a teenage boy, I dated a girl that was 2 years younger than me and I believe so much that I'll settle down with her someday. But 5 years after she looks like she was 7 years older than me. We broke up and she met and marry a guy far older than me. That was when I realized that she was only wasting her time with me. As a matter of fact, I have never seen a man that married a woman he dated when he was a teenager. But I know lots of girls who are happily married to men who dated them when they were still teenagers.
2. A teenage boy doesn't need to be guided or protected by any girl, but a teenage girl will surely need a matured, God fearing guy as companion so that he can guide and protect her from other randy guys who might want to take advantage of her naivety to deceive and destroy her. This is a role that even the most caring parents may not be able to play but it's very sacrosanct in the life of a teenage girl.
3. Teenage boys are more likely to commit fornication than teenage girls(especially the Virgins). Once a teenage, virgin boy had a girlfriend, the next thing on his mind is to experiment with sex but a virgin teenage girl will even be afraid of sex due to the fears of losing her virginity and fears of unwanted pregnancy.
Biologically, young girls are always able to control their sexual urge than young boys. This shows that young boys tends to commit immoral acts and make the wrong use of their relationships than young girls.

gentlegenius:

Teenage relationship is more useful to girls than boys for the following reasons:
1. Women don't have much time to play around like boys do before settling down. So a teenage girl is always closer to marriage than a teenage boy. Marriage is the authentic reason for dating and relationships. If a teenage girl is in a relationship with the right guy, she could end up getting married to him someday whereas no matter the kind of girl a teenage boy dates, he has almost zero chance of marrying her and that makes heartbreak inevitable. As a teenage boy, I dated a girl that was 2 years younger than me and I believe so much that I'll settle down with her someday. But 5 years after she looks like she was 7 years older than me. We broke up and she met and marry a guy far older than me. That was when I realized that she was only wasting her time with me. As a matter of fact, I have never seen a man that married a woman he dated when he was a teenager. But I know lots of girls who are happily married to men who dated them when they were still teenagers.
2. A teenage boy doesn't need to be guided or protected by any girl, but a teenage girl will surely need a matured, God fearing guy as companion so that he can guide and protect her from other randy guys who might want to take advantage of her naivety to deceive and destroy her. This is a role that even the most caring parents may not be able to play but it's very sacrosanct in the life of a teenage girl.
3. Teenage boys are more likely to commit fornication than teenage girls(especially the Virgins). Once a teenage, virgin boy had a girlfriend, the next thing on his mind is to experiment with sex but a virgin teenage girl will even be afraid of sex due to the fears of losing her virginity and fears of unwanted pregnancy.
Biologically, young girls are always able to control their sexual urge than young boys. This shows that young boys tends to commit immoral acts and make the wrong use of their relationships than young girls.

so you are suggesting that it is good for a teenage girl to date an adult or older guy right

Again it is not my reason for creating the tthrea, I created the thread for young boys and girl experimenting with relationship just like they saw in western movies
But then get them.self heart broken because of low emotional intelligence