Op take heart
Insults and barrages are some of the stuffs you get on Nairaland

You might ve made your own mistakes; but some of them don't know how frustrated a partner can make one.

Would be more helpful though if you can squeeze it out of her the errors you committed or the reasons why she thinks you deserve such treatment.

When a man marries a bad woman, his life will become one of confusion and at a point the man is likely to start thinking he's the fault.

Op, for the fact that you brought your problem to the public domain shows you married a BAD wife. Don't mind those clamouring for a second opinion from your wife... Are the expecting your wife to come here and collaborate your story, is it not if possible to defend her self and wipe up sentiment too?

My advice : You cannot win this war no matter how you try even though you love your wife cos she's determined to KILL you. SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. Her actions, attitudes and character has made you a SELF CENTRED man. You can't keep her yet you don't want her to seek a man she truly love. It's time you DISMISS this marriage for the sanity of all.

Seek for a woman that truly desire you too.

Let me tell me one secret. There's something call chi (guardian angel) that protects a REASONABLE GOOD MAN from harm or untimely death. Each time you are with the wrong woman ( wife) for example, the angel will seize your blessings and make you beggerly just to frustrate and make you leave the unwanted guest. No matter what you do, it'll never amount to anything until the EVIL guest leaves. whenever you then get a good woman that loves you and ready to support you, your destiny will blossom and opportunities will avail.

Take this pointer seriously.

adekS1:
For the first tym l came out of my comfort zone to like ur post cos it reveals my mind

funny you. u dey follow my post before?

jaxxy:


I can't believe u just defended the woman tru out ur long epistle without seeing anything wrong with the woman? U want a man to suck up to u all the days of his life. Didn't u see at d very beginning where he said d lady doesn't even let him relax at home from d bed to couch and coupled with d nagging had to find peace of mind outside? Im certain this lady doesn't have a decent relationship with this guys folks cos she knows she's being a menace. U say she wasn't behind hus deportation bt y did she give him a damn boxer as a sarcastic gift even thi she was getting money from him and u defend her punishing him like dats a solution. The guy has faults for abandoning her bt she equally caused it with her bad behavior even when he was trying to provide for d family. He has no business begging or waiting for any forgiveness until she apologizes for chasing him out of the house with such behavior.

. Like i do say, man is always the perpetrator, and woman is the victim. To me marriage sucks, they blame men for everything, just see how most of the females and some captain-save-a-hoe( seeking female approval) on the thread are using shaming languages on the Op.

Bro, you are the one in love with her and its hard for a man to hold a relationship together, talk more of a family. Its best a man gets married to a woman that's in love with him because she can keep a home together and endures all.

Avsegzy:
I'll try to make this brief. I met her in 2005 got married in 2010 but everything i knew about her characters Changed after that... From nagging to making life very difficult for me to cope...

I tried to adjust and told myself "this is what it to be called a real man" then i was in the force mostly posted on night guard 6pm to 6am so when i got home i would try to relax when it's 7am my wife will tell me to leave the bed cos she wanted to rearrange the bed neatly so I'd stand but she wouldn't let me use the bed back claiming I'd rough it lol... After few minutes she'd tell me to get up from the chair in the sitting room that she wanted to sweep. Hehe i was like " i don enter one chance ohhh".

Sometimes if i got annoyed before i said one she'd already said four but one mistake i made was that i used to tell her that i can never ever beat my wife even for once. Sometimes she would even tell me that I was only scared of being beaten by a woman not that i didn't want to beat her, if I'm a man enough i should let us give it a trial lol.

I tried to do an inter state transfer just to be far away from cos after our first child things only get worse but then there was an embargo on transfer, i tried to be transferred to another local government but it wasn't successful. I took it as a shame on me to drive her out even with my little kid so i decided to travel out of the country after my visa came out i resigned but i felt guilty with the idea of leaving without informing her so I told her 2days to my departure though she was happy about it but insisted i must give her money to rent another house before i left, i pleaded with her to continue living there that later I'll send her money to rent another place but she said NO... I gave her the money, later to the market and buy foodstuffs that i knew could take them up to 2months at least, i also gave her what i could afford as "pocket money". It's not even up to 2weeks over i left that she started calling me that they were hungry and no money to buy food i was shocked "so i never escape?" I was annoyed "after you almost finished all my money back home?" hmmm "ok no problem use out of the money i gave u to rent another apartment" she said no she'd already given it to her friend to keep it.

She didn't even ask if got a job or not every time she called it'd be argument about money. I told her to go to my mum then to collect money but she refused saying my mum wasn't the one that came to marry her...

Later i stop to pick her calls and later changed my number but the more i tried to ignore her the more i missed her and my kid who i love to hear her voice always. I called her back after 2months, sent money to her(a big mistake) and that made her to demand more and more with hot pressure. I got tired of life didn't know what else to do and I've not been earning much work permit and co. Still under processing i decided to go do some casual works(labour work) the money i got 1st and 2nd day in the 3rd day luck ran against me and and i was arrested for working without permit i had the option to pay fine though but i couldn't afford the amount so i came back to Nigeria.

The most shocking things was that without informing her of what happened or my coming home she handed over a boxers " you're welcome this is what i bought for you" i asked how did she know i was coming she said she just feel like buying it. Later i told her what happened and how she was the cause but she wasn't remorseful rather she said i was lying against her and I've never seen anything this is just the beginning.

Backed in Nigeria no more work, things was hard but I'm not a lazy type but i refused to live with her but not willing to leave her. I decided to stay in another state, found something to do, got enough money years later and travelled out again but this time i didn't tell her anything up to a year now but i do send money. She sent a message through social media that she heard I'm living with a woman somewhere else so if i don't show up in 3months an end will come to our marriage.

I forgot to hard she works, has a shop. What should i do cos i can go home now and i love her and don't want to have 2nd wife in my record I've not even cheated just for once.

If at all what you have typed is true then i take it you are living in bondage or something but one never knows how true your story is till we hear from your wife.

nwaonyeze001:



Bro.......I must be very sincere and emphatic with you, first and foremost, this ur write up is not complete....(you are trying to summarise the story........which is understandable) but the truth is........" there can never be smoke without a fire
u dated this said lady ( your precious and adorable wife for five years) my brother, I'm a man like you and the only advise I will give to you is to check yourself properly not your wife, there is somewhere you have missed it..........I v said this before and I will still say it, when a woman truly loves you, she loves with all her spirit, soul and body unlyk "we" men
bro..........d truth is check yourself properly and try to put your family in order......
wish you all the best

thanks

freshvine:
When a man marries a bad woman, his life will become one of confusion and at a point the man is likely to start thinking he's the fault.

Op, for the fact that you brought your problem to the public domain shows you married a BAD wife. Don't mind those clamouring for a second opinion from your wife... Are the expecting your wife to come here and collaborate your story, is it not if possible to defend her self and wipe up sentiment too?

My advice : You cannot win this war no matter how you try even though you love your wife cos she's determined to KILL you. SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. Her actions, attitudes and character has made you a SELF CENTRED man. You can't keep her yet you don't want her to seek a man she truly love. It's time you DISMISS this marriage for the sanity of all.

Seek for a woman that truly desire you too.

Let me tell me one secret. There's something call chi (guardian angel) that protects a REASONABLE GOOD MAN from harm or untimely death. Each time you are with the wrong woman ( wife) for example, the angel will seize your blessings and make you beggerly just to frustrate and make you leave the unwanted guest. No matter what you do, it'll never amount to anything until the EVIL guest leaves. whenever you then get a good woman that loves you and ready to support you, your destiny will blossom and opportunities will avail.

Take this pointer seriously.

i feel you honestly God bless you

pls sir have you talk to her and ask her what is her problem then if she truly want to leave you that mean she didn't love you bro...but first soccer your goal in life and also remember women can lift you up and women can let you down ask well.so think about her position in your life and move on ......we women are devil

freshvine:
When a man marries a bad woman, his life will become one of confusion and at a point the man is likely to start thinking he's the fault.

Op, for the fact that you brought your problem to the public domain shows you married a BAD wife. Don't mind those clamouring for a second opinion from your wife... Are the expecting your wife to come here and collaborate your story, is it not if possible to defend her self and wipe up sentiment too?

My advice : You cannot win this war no matter how you try even though you love your wife cos she's determined to KILL you. SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. Her actions, attitudes and character has made you a SELF CENTRED man. You can't keep her yet you don't want her to seek a man she truly love. It's time you DISMISS this marriage for the sanity of all.

Seek for a woman that truly desire you too.

Let me tell me one secret. There's something call chi (guardian angel) that protects a REASONABLE GOOD MAN from harm or untimely death. Each time you are with the wrong woman ( wife) for example, the angel will seize your blessings and make you beggerly just to frustrate and make you leave the unwanted guest. No matter what you do, it'll never amount to anything until the EVIL guest leaves. whenever you then get a good woman that loves you and ready to support you, your destiny will blossom and opportunities will avail.

Take this pointer seriously.

Infact I wish so much love, to buy you a gift
You have said it all completely case closed next.

Avsegzy:
I'll try to make this brief. I met her in 2005 got married in 2010 but everything i knew about her characters Changed after that... From nagging to making life very difficult for me to cope...

I tried to adjust and told myself "this is what it to be called a real man" then i was in the force mostly posted on night guard 6pm to 6am so when i got home i would try to relax when it's 7am my wife will tell me to leave the bed cos she wanted to rearrange the bed neatly so I'd stand but she wouldn't let me use the bed back claiming I'd rough it lol... After few minutes she'd tell me to get up from the chair in the sitting room that she wanted to sweep. Hehe i was like " i don enter one chance ohhh".

Sometimes if i got annoyed before i said one she'd already said four but one mistake i made was that i used to tell her that i can never ever beat my wife even for once. Sometimes she would even tell me that I was only scared of being beaten by a woman not that i didn't want to beat her, if I'm a man enough i should let us give it a trial lol.

I tried to do an inter state transfer just to be far away from cos after our first child things only get worse but then there was an embargo on transfer, i tried to be transferred to another local government but it wasn't successful. I took it as a shame on me to drive her out even with my little kid so i decided to travel out of the country after my visa came out i resigned but i felt guilty with the idea of leaving without informing her so I told her 2days to my departure though she was happy about it but insisted i must give her money to rent another house before i left, i pleaded with her to continue living there that later I'll send her money to rent another place but she said NO... I gave her the money, later to the market and buy foodstuffs that i knew could take them up to 2months at least, i also gave her what i could afford as "pocket money". It's not even up to 2weeks over i left that she started calling me that they were hungry and no money to buy food i was shocked "so i never escape?" I was annoyed "after you almost finished all my money back home?" hmmm "ok no problem use out of the money i gave u to rent another apartment" she said no she'd already given it to her friend to keep it.

She didn't even ask if got a job or not every time she called it'd be argument about money. I told her to go to my mum then to collect money but she refused saying my mum wasn't the one that came to marry her...

Later i stop to pick her calls and later changed my number but the more i tried to ignore her the more i missed her and my kid who i love to hear her voice always. I called her back after 2months, sent money to her(a big mistake) and that made her to demand more and more with hot pressure. I got tired of life didn't know what else to do and I've not been earning much work permit and co. Still under processing i decided to go do some casual works(labour work) the money i got 1st and 2nd day in the 3rd day luck ran against me and and i was arrested for working without permit i had the option to pay fine though but i couldn't afford the amount so i came back to Nigeria.

The most shocking things was that without informing her of what happened or my coming home she handed over a boxers " you're welcome this is what i bought for you" i asked how did she know i was coming she said she just feel like buying it. Later i told her what happened and how she was the cause but she wasn't remorseful rather she said i was lying against her and I've never seen anything this is just the beginning.

Backed in Nigeria no more work, things was hard but I'm not a lazy type but i refused to live with her but not willing to leave her. I decided to stay in another state, found something to do, got enough money years later and travelled out again but this time i didn't tell her anything up to a year now but i do send money. She sent a message through social media that she heard I'm living with a woman somewhere else so if i don't show up in 3months an end will come to our marriage.

I forgot to hard she works, has a shop. What should i do cos i can go home now and i love her and don't want to have 2nd wife in my record I've not even cheated just for once.

You are good ma but you didn't tell the whole story. Did you marry her as a friend or out of coincidence? By your training you are disciplined and you want to keep your integrity by avoiding divorce too. Fine! Now, have you sat with your wife before, say about 1am to have a heart-to-heart talk. Tell her you still love her and your daughter? That you want a happy home and would want her to make this marriage work?that you'll be there for them? Take to treat her better. Kiss and hug her before you leave the house and when you return. Buy her little gifts like ice cream, earrings and stuffs unannounced. If she doesn't love back call be a liar!

Donmatlock:


You are good ma but you didn't tell the whole story. Did you marry her as a friend or out of coincidence? By your training you are disciplined and you want to keep your integrity by avoiding divorce too. Fine! Now, have you sat with your wife before, say about 1am to have a heart-to-heart talk. Tell her you still love her and your daughter? That you want a happy home and would want her to make this marriage work?that you'll be there for them? Take to treat her better. Kiss and hug her before you leave the house and when you return. Buy her little gifts like ice cream, earrings and stuffs unannounced. If she doesn't love back call be a liar!

Oga, have you forgotten your in Nigeria and dealing with with Nigerian ladies.. #laughing @ ice cream # the lady may just smile and say 'thanks but do I look like your daughter? .. This method works only in Europe and with some exposed well mannered Nigerian ladies.. Not all of them.

Most of them need auto factory reset once a while by themselves, not you forcing it. Don't just give yourself heart attack when your unfortunate to marry those wit mental sickness. simply ignore them and be praying they get well soon. That is if you can endure

Avsegzy:
I'll try to make this brief. I met her in 2005 got married in 2010 but everything i knew about her characters Changed after that... From nagging to making life very difficult for me to cope...

I tried to adjust and told myself "this is what it to be called a real man" then i was in the force mostly posted on night guard 6pm to 6am so when i got home i would try to relax when it's 7am my wife will tell me to leave the bed cos she wanted to rearrange the bed neatly so I'd stand but she wouldn't let me use the bed back claiming I'd rough it lol... After few minutes she'd tell me to get up from the chair in the sitting room that she wanted to sweep. Hehe i was like " i don enter one chance ohhh".

Sometimes if i got annoyed before i said one she'd already said four but one mistake i made was that i used to tell her that i can never ever beat my wife even for once. Sometimes she would even tell me that I was only scared of being beaten by a woman not that i didn't want to beat her, if I'm a man enough i should let us give it a trial lol.

I tried to do an inter state transfer just to be far away from cos after our first child things only get worse but then there was an embargo on transfer, i tried to be transferred to another local government but it wasn't successful. I took it as a shame on me to drive her out even with my little kid so i decided to travel out of the country after my visa came out i resigned but i felt guilty with the idea of leaving without informing her so I told her 2days to my departure though she was happy about it but insisted i must give her money to rent another house before i left, i pleaded with her to continue living there that later I'll send her money to rent another place but she said NO... I gave her the money, later to the market and buy foodstuffs that i knew could take them up to 2months at least, i also gave her what i could afford as "pocket money". It's not even up to 2weeks over i left that she started calling me that they were hungry and no money to buy food i was shocked "so i never escape?" I was annoyed "after you almost finished all my money back home?" hmmm "ok no problem use out of the money i gave u to rent another apartment" she said no she'd already given it to her friend to keep it.

She didn't even ask if got a job or not every time she called it'd be argument about money. I told her to go to my mum then to collect money but she refused saying my mum wasn't the one that came to marry her...

Later i stop to pick her calls and later changed my number but the more i tried to ignore her the more i missed her and my kid who i love to hear her voice always. I called her back after 2months, sent money to her(a big mistake) and that made her to demand more and more with hot pressure. I got tired of life didn't know what else to do and I've not been earning much work permit and co. Still under processing i decided to go do some casual works(labour work) the money i got 1st and 2nd day in the 3rd day luck ran against me and and i was arrested for working without permit i had the option to pay fine though but i couldn't afford the amount so i came back to Nigeria.

The most shocking things was that without informing her of what happened or my coming home she handed over a boxers " you're welcome this is what i bought for you" i asked how did she know i was coming she said she just feel like buying it. Later i told her what happened and how she was the cause but she wasn't remorseful rather she said i was lying against her and I've never seen anything this is just the beginning.

Backed in Nigeria no more work, things was hard but I'm not a lazy type but i refused to live with her but not willing to leave her. I decided to stay in another state, found something to do, got enough money years later and travelled out again but this time i didn't tell her anything up to a year now but i do send money. She sent a message through social media that she heard I'm living with a woman somewhere else so if i don't show up in 3months an end will come to our marriage.

I forgot to hard she works, has a shop. What should i do cos i can go home now and i love her and don't want to have 2nd wife in my record I've not even cheated just for once.

lol, she won't leave you bro, can you mail me priv, let me tell you a very simple thing to do? she won't leave you.