My boyfriend and I have had series of issues because of the hurt he suffered from his ex girlfriend. We have gone over the issue over and over again and I have watched him feel very sad whenever he remembers his experience with her. He has never told me the cause of their break up as he says its not important that one day he will tell me. He claims to love me but still keeps pictures of this lady on his laptop. My pictures are there as well but I don't know why he hasn't deleted pictures he took four years ago!!!

I used to feel very jealous anytime he brought up her issue in a conversation but these days I am indifferent. He has been having some secret calls and I suspect they still communicate. He claims to love me and has even proposed marriage (No rings yet though) but I do not want to be anyone's second best. I have asked him to go back to her if he still loves her but he says its me he wants. He says she has moved on and is dating someone else. I am really confused as I am very pretty still get admired daily. I don't want to marry the wrong man? Somebody please advise me on what to do as I love this guy but am losing patience because of this ex insecurity!!!!!

an ultimatum shud do the trick.
it's either you or her. No more commuication with her and he shud delete all 'em pics.
He is probably secretly hoping they get back together. Methinks the dude is still holding on to the past and such things do take a while to get over. Trust me you don't want to hang in with someone that's still battling with old relationship.

I agree with jay bee; he proposed with no ring?! SMFH-----

I know of a story similar to yours--- he would purposely break up with my friend to fccuk his ex for the weekend--- his excuse "we have broken up" when all the same issues with his ex came back, he would go back to my friend.

No man should eat his cake and have it too unless u give him the permission---- I say call it off. 

Don't let sex keep you in madness

Sweet heart, since u are still having admirers, i wld advice u 2 get a back up. Since he loves his ex more 2 stil keep her pics, i tell u she can come for him at anytime anyday. Na dat girl hold he mumu key.
Sometimes we luv people who takes us as spare tyre but no more- lets luv does who luv us.
If he's willing 2 change-fine.
Delete those pics, and he should stop all side things,but girl i stil advice u get a spare until d nut is tied.

Jst let him go. How wud u feel if a luvd 1 bought u a house wit no address. It jst a big trick. Hw did he manage to propose witout a ring or anything significant. Wake my dear b4 u earn urself a heartbreak.

Many thanks for all the replies I really do appreciate as my heart was burdened. I have thought very seriously about the spare thing as I actually do have someone else who is so eager to call me his. I have never cheated on anyone in my life and I don't want to God willing. I have met his family he has met mine thats the hope I have in this relationship but I would get a back up, I wont be intimate with the person but it has become necessary!!!!

nah nah nah nah don't do it.
dats certainly not the way to go about things. what happens when you develop feelings for the back-up and your bf changes his ways and decides to face you squarely?
I think you should decide on what you want now and don't play the cheating game cos u might end up getting really hurt.

ur man is stick stuck in his past. its left to you to choose if you wanna remain there with him.

I think the 2 of you are suffering from insecurity.
For him: he can not make up his mind and move on with the present.
For you: you are afraid that he might go back to the ex.

The thing is that you should understand that if they ended the relationship on a good note that there is nothing wrong for them to still keep in touch. Keeping her picture is not an offence but what i find funny is the pictures been in his computer! this means that his mind has not been made up.

Since you claim to have decided to give him time to heal, do just that and see what happens.
If he gives you attention and treats you the way you should be treated, why worry about secret or no secret call?

Finally, be confident of yourself and wish for the best while making plans for the inevitable!
He has not given you a ring; ring is not in anyway a sign of a guy been serioous with a girl (JUST HAVE THIS IN MIND)

Do you also have an ex-boyfriend? Get pictures of him in your phones and laptop e.t.c. and make you he sees it. If he complains, tell him you did it deliberately to show him how you feel about him and his so called ex. If he does not complain, girl, end the relationship as soon as possible because he is still in love with her and is secretly dating her. Once he gets over the issue that caused their breakup, he will surely dump you

Spyker:

Do you also have an ex-boyfriend? Get pictures of him in your phones and laptop e.t.c. and make you he sees it. If he complains, tell him you did it deliberately to show him how you feel about him and his so called ex. If he does not complain, girl, end the relationship as soon as possible because he is still in love with her and is secretly dating her. Once he gets over the issue that caused their breakup, he will surely dump you

Word


Why settle for second best? Why relegate yourself to the position of Mrs It-Will-Do, when there are plenty guys out there ready to make you their Mrs IT Don't short change yourself abeg, cut your losses, count your blessings and let him go and work on his fatal obsession with his ex

He is calling is ex home girl the only reason why he is not with her is because she is with someone else or else he would have dumped you by now. If i were you i'll cut my loses and move on because this dude is not over his ex and he still wants her and you will always be second best to her.

I dont see what the confusion is he is obviously emotionally cheating on you and he would cheat physically if the ex would let him

please give the guy some more tyme
he really loves you~

The guy just likes you and there's no love from him to you. Truth is he still loves his ex, and don't be surprised that the breakup they have right now is temporary, they will still get back together. Be ready for the worst if you want to stay or be ready to move on or at the barest minimum, give him some time.

Your man's act of holding unto his ex's pictures is an evidence of his undiplomatic reservation for her. You need to be very sure of that fact that he's still in communication with her before you can take the next step

It is very clear that your lover loves his ex more than u, ,because if he does'nt he won't be keeping her pics. u also complained of his receiving secret calls, Gal wake up, Don't u think he will be willing to to accept her when she comes begging? He is only using u to fill the vacancy in his heart. CALL IT OFF, Peace

This thread reminds me of when I was dating my wife, I had pictures of other ex-girlfriends; physical and on my phone. One day, she sat down and deleted (and tore) all of them. I was really pissed and didn't speak to her for a few days but the deed had been done.

However, from that day on (4 years ago), I knew the relationship was serious and never looked back since then.

@ Poster, do the same thing. Coming from a guy, sometimes I think men like to be given ultimatums before they buckle up.

@monami poster colour.plz don't ask somone to cheat bkos if same is done to u,I tink u will feel bad.@poster plz d devile u know is better dan the angel monami is asking u to go nd hav.u don't cheat instead work the relationship out for good.tell him to delete those pics nd stop all communication wit hi ex.try hav lots of fun with him,outdoor fun nd play indoor games together so as to erase those bad memories.love grows it does nt come once.if u truely love him make him change for ur tast.gud luck

stop visiting,stop calling,when he calls let it ring,answer after 2 missed calls,then answer with a very disinterested voice,sound as if you are distracted and only speak in monosyllables.do something with your friends or something you've always wanted to do alone.if he loves you he'll wake up,if he doesn't change,please walk out of that bondage you call a relationship,you deserve better.goodluck

Correct babe, e be like say u don do am b4.

Girl i think he is using u and will surely dump u when he get his ex back,so quit the relationship and god will bring a right man for u.

no o,for my own case i just walk out without any explanations

ive been tru somtin similar and i can be upseting cos u luv d person bt u might have to give him some space to make him know who he realy wants and dont cling onto him cos dat will make him think u can stay wit him no matter at he does, like leavin her pics on his lapy. i agree its not easy to get over a ex bt its somtin he has to do or else he cant move forward. always speak ur mind to him dont reserve anything or how u feel about d issue as polite as u can afford to be so he can understand ur postion frm his response and 'actions' u will know were u stand.

190:

please give the guy some more tyme
he really loves you~

the way u begging so, are u sure u not the guy?

Shanice111:

My boyfriend and I have had series of issues because of the hurt he suffered from his ex girlfriend. We have gone over the issue over and over again and I have watched him feel very sad whenever he remembers his experience with her. He has never told me the cause of their break up as he says its not important that one day he will tell me. He claims to love me but still keeps pictures of this lady on his laptop. My pictures are there as well but I don't know why he hasn't deleted pictures he took four years ago!!!

I used to feel very jealous anytime he brought up her issue in a conversation but these days I am indifferent. He has been having some secret calls and I suspect they still communicate. He claims to love me and has even proposed marriage (No rings yet though) but I do not want to be anyone's second best. I have asked him to go back to her if he still loves her but he says its me he wants. He says she has moved on and is dating someone else. I am really confused as I am very pretty still get admired daily. I don't want to marry the wrong man? Somebody please advise me on what to do as I love this guy but am losing patience because of this ex insecurity!!!!!

Delete those pictures as some has already suggested, if he gets angry with you, use that as your cue to know that the relationship is over and move on. It is the fear of the unknown that makes people scared of leaving relationships they are not happy in, but at least this way, you would know where he stands with you.

Dear it all depends on what you want,do you want to get married to him for been his sake while he is nt yours emotionally?see such relationships dnt end easily even when both parties are married to diffrent people,so marrying him is nt the case,you shld consider getting his whole attention which if you can not,u should look else where,u ll find someone that ll be into you and not bodily present with you and emotionally present with someone called an ex and i dnt like that word ex cos they are still on so its present.

Give him an ultimatum. He has to choose

Avoid him for three days and see what happens.

Dump his a.s.s and fast too.

Be wise, he's just using u to while away time. He still loves his ex and may definitely go back. I had similar issues of which d guy now blame me am the cause of his not marrying is ex. D lady later got married while we both parted. Use ur brain and not ur emotions.

the guys still has the hots for her

i bet u my mortgage that if she comes back to him, he would dump ur a$$ faster than you can say y now?