As for NL igbo guys claiming to date or marry yorubas but are nasty towards yorubas,err the word hypocrites ring true.What i meant to say is follow your heart,if you are making a mistake let it be your own and not the one parents or society pushed you into.Goodluck sha o

@ poster,
if u had brought home a white guy from obodoland as ur suitor, dem go say no?? or maybe if a Femi Otedola, asks for your hand in marriage (he is a married yoruba man o), ur peeps go say no abi?? See all na because dis ur guy never hammer, if to say he don arrnge well well, dem no go look the guy tribe. I see the opposition to ur union as myopic, but then i still wont ever propose u go ahead with him without ur parents consent, their blessings shuld not be taken for granted!!

gurl talkin tribalistic i used to be but when u r in love u will bonne many things.
i met the delta guy am dating during nysc and am yoruba, my parents av not agreed but i know time will tell sha. the mistake i tink u made was u should have at least let ur mum know abt him early like d 4yrs back u claim.
well it really is u to u but parents dont get angry forever my fear and if they do now sooner or later wit God as the solid rock of ur marriage tins will work out and ur Mum will bless u.
dont loose ur love gurl all this tribe dont count as far as the party is not too tribalistic. i mean laki a igbo guy that has never been to his village will not even mind any tribe so gurl tink well abt it and pray

I feel quite sorry for this poster. Your parents no matter how much they love you will not always be right. I have seen ibo to ibo marriages fail and some work. If you love this man know his family and you are sure it can work marry him. Who says all ibo men are good? Parents who were born when there was no internet , space travel or nairaland (no pun intended) are predicting a future they do not know based on past events? Who says yoruba men are still prone to polygamy or ibo men still use their wives for money ( these are widely known sterotypes). Look no tribe in Nigeria is holier than the other we are all one huge mess. Marry the man that makes u happy biko? Before you regret for the rest of your life!!!!!

Shanice111:

I feel quite sorry for this poster. Your parents no matter how much they love you will not always be right. I have seen ibo to ibo marriages fail and some work. If you love this man know his family and you are sure it can work marry him. Who says all ibo men are good? Parents who were born when there was no internet , space travel or nairaland (no pun intended) are predicting a future they do not know based on past events? Who says yoruba men are still prone to polygamy or ibo men still use their wives for money ( these are widely known sterotypes). Look no tribe in Nigeria is holier than the other we are all one huge mess. Marry the man that makes u happy biko? Before you regret for the rest of your life!!!!!

right!!!

Marriage is a sensistive issue, it is completely different from friendship. try and learn this, who ever you are dating u must ask question about the person's tribe, religion, tradition and norms they observe in their place. and always ask questions about they handle marriages in the place and how the family also respond to outsiders. while u are doin that u also ask your parents about the tribe you are in love with. know their consent on time before tins get more serious between you and the guy. Nigeria parents are very tribalistic and religious. I best advise is obey your parents, they have a point. and secondly, i dont trust a guy who is agreeing to follow u to his church, such people changes immediately after they have married you.

Again go deep into knowing the family's background, do they worship idols, or did their ancestors did. and how is the guy's family? is it polygamous or unigamous or monogamous? are they together as family. that will give u a litle idea of the kind of family u are going into. meanwhile marriage is also accessed from the spiritual angle so seek the candid advise of your pastors or spiritual leader. thanks. for more u can call or mail me: jetfilips@yahoo.com, 08036822451. good luck

Why do igbo gals marry yoruba guys and yoruba gals don't marry igbos, is it that igbo guys are inferior to selective yoruba gals or that yoruba guys are better husbands or that igbo guys prefer their own gals for marriage.

@ kettykings,

the answer is simple.
igbo guys RARELY marry outside their state talkmore of their tribe. an average igbo guy believes that after all, he would go home and marry one of his own.

but as an igbo woman, its different. they have suitors form all tribes (since marriagable men no too dey ) and as being women, some bow to pressure and marry any man in front of 'em.


men have the option of selecting their choice, while women marry who comes for 'em.

na una sabi, as for me o, na my Okechukwu i go marry. and by God's grace, there will never be any regret for doing so. what matter most is true love, be open to one another, no pretence. finito

^^^

No matter the answer you get on NL,  it will never be enough.

it is your decision,  your investment,  your bargain,  your goods,

honestly, only God knows how it will turn out,

2 secrets that will surely see you through,   

   a.         build your love/marriage on his character and not on emotions[yours or his]
         
    b.       Hand it over to God,  his help makes the most sense [always]

For your parents,  just give them some time, with a and b they will come to see it your way

I cannot believe all these tribe nonsense is still dominant even in our times. Marry whomever your heart feels is the right man for you. Afterall, no family would be there to make your home for you.

my dear , dont mind those that says tribe doest matter in marriage, it matters alot is just that they woundt say the truth ,if you people really love each other notting is there, bt you people must know how to speak the two languages well well for safety purposes.

tribe really doesnt matter, once the combination works,. so check here for your combo.

1. ibo man + yoruba woman = good

2. ibo man + ibo woman = excellent

3. ibo man + hausa woman= very good

4. yoruba man + yoruba woman = disaster

5. yoruba man + ibo woman = error

6. yoruba man + hausa man = never happens

7. hausa man + hausa woman = very comfortable

8. hausa man + ibo woman = nice combo

9. hausa man + yoruba woman = cheaters.

This is the wrong time for an ibo woman to be contemplating marrying a yoruba man. At the risk of sounding tribalistic, I'd say that Yourubas are the worst set of people you can ever deal with when you are not part of them!

@ Poster

Don't do it, it's not worth it . . .

my dear there is nothing GOD cannot do ,pray as u go along with him, tel ur parent knw ure in love

tell them that we are not in 1940s.

Ujujoan:

This is the wrong time for an ibo woman to be contemplating marrying a yoruba man. At the risk of sounding tribalistic, I'd say that Yourubas are the worst set of people you can ever deal with when you are not part of them!

This is one of the daftest and most myopic posts on this thread. What has difficulty in dealing with people gotta do with tribe? Some of you lots are pathetic and don't reason through things properly before you blurt them out.

Quote from: Ujujoan on Yesterday at 10:45:08 AM
This is the wrong time for an ibo woman to be contemplating marrying a yoruba man. At the risk of sounding tribalistic, I'd say that Yourubas are the worst set of people you can ever deal with when you are not part of them!

This is one of the daftest and most myopic posts on this thread. What has difficulty in dealing with people gotta do with tribe? Some of you lots are pathetic and don't reason through things properly before you blurt them out.

@ujujoan am dissapointed that you could make such a statement but i know you are free to your opinion.

This is one of the daftest and most myopic posts on this thread. What has difficulty in dealing with people gotta do with tribe? Some of you lots are pathetic and don't reason through things properly before you blurt them out.

perfect answer to uju's comment.have been married to an ibo lady for almost 8yrs now.we fought the battle of tribalism btw both families and we won it.today we have three kids,one daughter and 2 sets of handsome boys(twins),life is good,she is extremely hardoworking and am playing my own role 100%,beluieve me i cant ask for more,ppl said so many stuffs but i dont do gurls outside my marriage for any reason cos i always believe dat no gurl has wat my wife can offer me.

disturbia:

@Poster
One question, if you told your parent you were getting married to a white guy, will they object?

please answer this question.

Quote from: disturbia on March 03, 2010, 08:57 PM
@Poster
One question, if you told your parent you were getting married to a white guy, will they object?

oya answer me abeg if your would be yoruba guy na obafemi martins;john fashanu;femi otedola,kola abiola, taye taiwo sef who are all megabucks will your parents stil object?

@ poster

Not trying to be rude or abusive but i can bet my house that both or at least one of your parents is an illiterate. If your parents were educated and werent so myopic I doubt they would object to your choice. I find it hard to believe that in 2010 parents still decide who their kids can marry. Telling your parents who you want to marry is cultural and serves as a mark of repect for them. The should have absolutely no say over who you marry. That decision is yours alone to make.

Sorry o my sister. I think you have to go with your mom and dad. I was in that situation some months back. I had a yoruba girl in the States and she does love me and wanted to get married too. but when i visited home to see her parents, it was another story. The welcome me very well . my next step was for my parents to go do the waka as we say it at home. guess what? I was refered as Omo Ibo. even when they are aware i was from the Niger Delta. I felt so bad. I learnt that cos i made a call some day to her after our discussion she thought the conversation was over and i could hear her in the background tell a neighbor why she cant give her daughter to me as OmO Ibo. i kept listening for over twenty minutes before she realised that the phone was still connected.

Oh my God i said to myself. when i came back to the staes she called me and gave me a reason why she doent want it. among her reason is tha i was once married in the states and that my girls dad ( who is now dead) told the daughter never to marry someone who had been married before. I went ahead to explain to her that when you go overseas you have to do all you can to get papers and that its over for a long time. All to no avail.

We ve stoped seeing each other just ordinary friends now.

Now i decided to try another one an Ibo girl. That one told me pointblank that her mom will never be a problem but her Dad. i ask why? and she told me that her Dad fought on Biafra side and that the Dad still felt that we betrayed them againt the Nigeria troups. I looked at myself. I wasnt born when the war was fought , so why should i be meant to face such. so i stoped see that one.

Now i am about to marry a sister her. A black American. period.

=================

Bottom line. dont do it if you or your family wount have a wrong perception about your family.

carnal:

oya answer me abeg if your would be yoruba guy na obafemi martins;john fashanu;femi otedola,kola abiola, taye taiwo sef who are all megabucks will your parents stil object?

i find this list faintly disturbing.

none of these people is single, right?

is there nobody of their wealth and stature who also happens to be an eligible bachelor like george clooney or zac efron

^^ can you share your sad experience with a yoruba lady?

what happened

the thread is actually about dating a yoruba guy but never mind.

I think uju joan is kind of right , yorubas are not reliable , adultery and fetishness is their lot , but not all yorubas are bad , but majority are lik that , atimes I think nigeria's problm is not hausa but yorubas

@poster, To be frank, a yoruba will prefer any other tribe that is not ibo. Dont doubt me; i have a lot of proof which i wont share here. What makes u think u'll still be comfortable in d long run? Believe me, ur parents wont be d problem in d long run; d dudes parents will be when u start findin it difficult to adjust to d yoruba uncomfortable lifestyle. Look before u leap.

well

its only been a yr if u feel your parents views will affect the marriage

let the guy move on- when ur 50 and still single or ur future husband treats u badly they will no they made the wrong decisions!

then again they do mean well but thier mentality is too backwards- issue of polygamy has gone long ago and thie ris no tribe thats doesnt practice fetishness!

if ur like me and sincerely dont give 2 abt what ur parents say then you can tell your parents to accept him cos youve chosen him and get married

if they simply make the effort to know the family and the guy they might like him!

am igbo,but i think u should go ahead and marry the yoruba guy.u are the one marrying,whatever comes out of ur marriage,u would be the one to enjoy or suffer it.with time,ur parents would adjust to the reality that its ur choice and not theirs and they must learn to embrace it.its a pity in this 21st century,nigerians are still tribalistic.it shows there is really no future for that country.My only sister got married to a yoruba guy,but at first my mum had an objection to it,my mum was calling us(the men/brothers) to talk to my sister but we told her to stay clear and that it was my sisters decision.Atimes u have to stand ur ground cos these our parents think they know everything.That said,i think Yorubas are kind of very tribalistic,am not trying to bash anyone but i observed that in NYSC Camp,where most of them just drifted from everyone and decided to form their own cliques,i was so disappointed because growing up,most of my friends didnt know tribe as in most of the guys i associated with were tibe blind,so it was a cultural shock cos when i got to camp and saw what these guys were doing i was kind of disappointed.

OP, I know of a gal that had similar issues with her parents back in the days, but she followed her heart (by marrying the guy). Her parents later dis-owned her but SHE NO SEND !!! After some years, when the parents knew that her marraige was stil going on fine and better, and with God blessing her with two sound kids, believe you me, her parents came calling, asking her to come and pay them visit. The gal refused paying them visit, saying, since they dis-owned her for making her right choice, then she is no more interested in seeing them anymore.

Few months later, after interventions from, both friends and relatives, she accepted their appolgies but, on one condition. . .She said "SHE WILL NOT BE THE ONE THAT WILL GO AND PAY THEM VIST. THEY SHOULD BE THE ONES TO COME AND VISIT HER" !!! The parents did not even see that as a difficult condition/situation, instead, they went and pay her visit AS SOON AS POSSIBLE !!!

Im not saying you should do dsame as the story I shared but, my advice to you is, in this life, there is NOTHING like HAPPINESS! And, if you know that guy will SURELY provide you the happiness that you need in marraige, then GO FOR HIM !!!


My take!