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My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage - Family (9) - Nairaland

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My Wife Hates Sex And Prefers I Masturbate / Sex After Child Birth / Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by moderatedguy: 9:47pm On Sep 25, 2017
Deoboss:

Circumsition does not make a woman loose her libido 100%. I should know as i dated a circumsized lady a while back, it reduces a woman's libido no doubt but may be by 50% as the lady am talking about used to initiate sex & enjoys it to an extent
i hv had some with u libido at all.they fuuckk for d sake of it.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by gwama: 10:00pm On Sep 25, 2017
She is surely excised, in this case either you take a mistress, or you marry a second wife who loves sex. grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Rowj: 10:04pm On Sep 25, 2017
please house what is the work of this Spanish gold fly, how can you apply it and how does it work
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by lereinter(m): 10:07pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:


I even suggested twice in a week but she said once in a month, it was all the information gathered that made me to suggest that, I have read a lot but she hate talking about sex. Please here can I get Spanish oil ?

how did your ve the nerves to tell u once a month.
nawa o
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by lereinter(m): 10:08pm On Sep 25, 2017
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Adaumunocha(f): 10:14pm On Sep 25, 2017
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by gwama: 10:16pm On Sep 25, 2017
Brother, this reminds me of the marriage of my parents, which has certainly produced children; but who was not at all happy for that reason, my mother had undergone genital mutilation. This has led to the repeated passage of mistresses at home, the fights of parents, the permanent misunderstanding of the couple and the trauma of the children. Eventually after 20 years of shaking wedding, my mother and we children were put out of the house without anything to support our needs. So my brother if after discussion with your wife, the case does not manage, it is better to separate you as amicably as soon as possible, so that each one remakes his life. undecided undecided

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by gwama: 10:22pm On Sep 25, 2017
soberdrunk:
Was she like that before marriage or she just changed?

Before marriage, they practiced abstinence grin grin grin
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by victovrry(m): 10:23pm On Sep 25, 2017
idoncare440:
correct guy....mr op this is d best option. dem booku for outside n they re ready to satisfy ur sexual needs as long as u have money to spend. but just remember to always use condom! thank me later
Church Marriage is a covenant that is above all other type of Marriage .... I can't and will NEVER do that.
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by victovrry(m): 10:26pm On Sep 25, 2017
lapariah:


we are in the same shoe my brother, if u investigate, you will find out that she was circumcised (FGM), this should stop in our society as this is always the result. It as lead to broken marriages and all that. At this point you need to carry your cross, do what seems right to you.
how have you been dealing with yours
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by victovrry(m): 10:31pm On Sep 25, 2017
FILEBE:



pls, Adultery is not the answer. May i ask how active she was before the kids and some time after the kids? If she was never like this before then something must be wrong somewhere maybe with her body system. You might involve the use of natural medicines or some certain herbal stuffs. I believe natural stuffs have little or no adverse effects if taken right.
she has been very romantic before kids, though she never asked for sex but she used body languages,kindly suggest the harbal, I will thank you
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 10:44pm On Sep 25, 2017
I want your wife's own side of story before I pass judgements....

Ask yourself:

Are you helping her out with chores? house work, taking care of kids etc?

Are you romancing her? Women are slow simmers NOT microwave. If you want sex, start/plan/execute your moves early and outside bedroom first.

There's more to sex you know other than inserting your appendage into her opening?

I doubt you have done your part to 'warm' her up. She has done her duties and given your children. Now, if you want to "ENJOY" marital bliss, you have to actually "WORK" hard at it.

She is not a thing for your release. She is a beautiful, vibrant and emotional being. So, treat her as such, the watch her "Chase" you.

Men....I swear. Find out what makes your wife "hot", "heavy" and "bothered" and get to it.....

NB: at last resort, see a doctor for low libido of clinical cause.


victovrry:
My wife is a good and I can call her a virtuous woman but she won't give me sex when needed, though we have male and female kids ...please what can I do again? Tried all I have read online and even attends seminals together just to make her change but she did not. Please I'm not saying this to paint her black but that is only one aspect I wish she could change.

Advise please !!!
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by victovrry(m): 10:46pm On Sep 25, 2017
amicableamos:

oga, I feel u n I have d understanding of what u r passing through. if u like take her to d most expensive hotel in Dubai, buy her Ferrari even ordinary kissing u may not get in return. excuses everyday, today body pain, tomorrow headache, next tomorrow cold or malaria. she would get u frustrated sometimes. she is not doing it intentionally, l think she needs a medical assistance. it is hormonal imbalance. pls, don't b offended with contribution o.

You get the Point, I do all I can and even over-do but same naani
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by victovrry(m): 10:58pm On Sep 25, 2017
akinvest:
My brother don't dance to the tone of those who says " get side chic or whatever" just take easy with her I have a similar case like urs. Sometimes i felt like descended on her with beaten but God forbid i will not, what i normally do is that i would pet her try to make her happy asks her what's wrong with her, sometimes she will tell me she is down then i will start to let her know that i cares for her, you know women are so very cunning, sometimes she will say let me sleep if I wake up don't worry, well I just need to allows her. Don't forget we have 2kids a boy and a girl. Moreover, you need to understand her and b patient with her and love her more keep telling her that you love her she shouldn't allows devil devices in her marriage, prayer together with her and don't approach her only when u need sex .

Thank you so much
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Rozaytee: 11:02pm On Sep 25, 2017
IamLEGEND1:
Get a side chick.
Life too short for this kyn stress...
'cause you can be rest assured that she is getting her needs met elsewhere.
It's either that or she was an undercover_lesbian who married you just to save face.
And I don't think any of those options are desirable.
It seems every other aspect of your marriage is working well, so why try to ruin it?
Get a side bish with or without her permission. Wife satisfies your emotional needs, the hoe meets your sexual needs.. It's not adultery, it's called compartmentalization and delegation of duties.
@ op pls pay no mind to dis one o
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by victovrry(m): 11:03pm On Sep 25, 2017
omolorlarh:

Maybe she is scared of getting pregnant for now.You both should discuss.You both can plan properly
already done family Planning
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by victovrry(m): 11:04pm On Sep 25, 2017
fuckpro:
...go to the gym and shape up then try getting a flatter tummy,put on good casual jeans wear that accentuate your figure lessen your 'daddy look and posture' be more free spirited feel good about yourself pamper yourself all this while do not hint to her you need sex,always be cheerful,then finally bring a woman you are not involved with home or better still a colleague or any body that can play along but knows there is no string attached
Women crave for powerful men,why? becos they are elusive
Your problem is your too very available so by extension boring and not attractive to ignite that sexaul urge,so start making your self attractive by being elusive
Its obvious your wife is the career,ambitious intelligent type this is usually their symptoms
and she love mind games although its unconscious.

thank you for this... Yes I'm too available thought it will also helP

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by segunojo866: 11:06pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:


thank you for this... Yes I'm too available thought it will also helP
cheesy
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Cherishpearl: 11:40pm On Sep 25, 2017
hmmm mm.... is ok....
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 5:16am On Sep 26, 2017
OP try reading DeadBedroom on reddit however my advice don't post a topic unless you want to hear divorce, that's the western way, your wife might be asexual, sad or something weighing on her mind, but however not to generalize but it seems after marriage a lot of Nigerian women especially after kids stop sex, if that's this case mehn if she doesn't meet you half way am sorry, she's the holder of sex and can only happen when she wants to, the alternatives is cheating, which I don't give as an advice, but almost all of my friends who are married and have this sex issue have side chicks. I won't advice for or against it, if she doesn't agree I think you might be looking at possibly no sex for a while, I think Marriage kills any sex appeal in a relationship left to me.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by komekn(m): 6:20am On Sep 26, 2017
TINALETC3:
Some women dnt naturally like sex, she may b in dat crew. Bt al hope is nt lost, u no Wat she likes na, go extra mile to spoil her wt tins she likes, offer 2 gv her a bath sometimes, during d bath caress her body until u get her down even in d bath. Always go extra mile 2 get her in d mood.

THIS GOES MUCH DEEPER THAN BEING IN THE MOOD
.

Intimacy is entirely linked to psychology.

You will need to go deeper into her personal and family history. Something may have happened to her that may have caused deep seated trauma in her past. As a consequence sexual intimacy is immediately associated and or triggers the memories associated with past trauma. Heightened anxiety, fear, discomfort, tension, panic attacks, etc.

These are outcomes of rape single or continous incidents, child sexual abuse, etc.

She may need counselling and may have done everything to try and forget the incident and or incidents but it is buried deep in her subconsciousness. Any time sexual intimacy is introduced that triggers negative feedback I am almost certain she does not enjoy intimacy with penetration.

Unfortunately rape is very rampant in Nigeria and victims bare the shame and trauma alone. Indeed sexual abuse is also rampant.

Finally pray for deeper revelations and understanding.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by FILEBE(m): 6:42am On Sep 26, 2017
victovrry:

she has been very romantic before kids, though she never asked for sex but she used body languages,kindly suggest the harbal, I will thank you

So women don't know how to express their feelings when it comes to sex. They will just expect the husband to read their body language or always make the first move.

I really don't know the exact name for this herbal medicine but you can visit local herbal practionals. We call them Alagbo in yoruba, other tribes have got theirs too. Meet one and talk to him/her, they will give you something. Just as guys buy herbal sexual enhancers, the Ladies have theirs too. I pray you overcome this and most especially talking to your wife is the first step to solve it. Nothing dialogues can't fix as she knows her body and system well.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by modupeleke(f): 6:42am On Sep 26, 2017
Prayer for her and then practice all the good advice people are advising you Sir.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Chigirl042(f): 7:13am On Sep 26, 2017
tosyne2much:
Men of nowadays sha... Must you have sex with your wife? After two children why still disturbing the woman for sex? undecidedlol funny guy



















Abeg na joke I dey joke ooo cheesy
lol
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Andrez123(m): 7:17am On Sep 26, 2017
victovrry:
My wife is a good and I can call her a virtuous woman but she won't give me sex when needed, though we have male and female kids ...please what can I do again? Tried all I have read online and even attends seminals together just to make her change but she did not. Please I'm not saying this to paint her black but that is only one aspect I wish she could change.

Advise please !!!
She might be a secret lesbian, if a woman doesn't want or enjoy sex with a man, it's because she doesn't feel an attraction to the man, it's either she has fallen out of love for you or she's not attracted to men.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by enoqueen: 10:12am On Sep 26, 2017
Was she really the sex type while u were dating as in demanding for sex or just showing you signs.

Was she circumcised

I was once in her shoe till my hubby brought me out of it.
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 10:43am On Sep 26, 2017
enoqueen:
Was she really the sex type while u were dating as in demanding for sex or just showing you signs.

Was she circumcised

I was once in her shoe till my hubby brought me out of it.

How , I think that would be the answer for OP, I sometimes get that the marriage might be losing sparks and most of the couples go into mommy and daddy mode, there's nothing sexy about changing diapers or bothering about the rent and providing so I guess that's what maybe the happening. Is she overworked in the house
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by iamdapsyj(m): 11:21am On Sep 26, 2017
Proudlyblack:

And it's amazing to comment is coming from a Lady
Domestic/sexual violence should not be promoted in any form

The person behind that moniker doesn't sound feminine. I read the comments from that moniker from time to time and concluded that a male pretending to be a female is behind it.
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by iamdapsyj(m): 11:46am On Sep 26, 2017
grin
alphaconde:
theres always a bad side of every good thing, deal with urs, my own wife bleeps alot but very lazy upstairs, i am dealing with it
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by filani(m): 12:11pm On Sep 26, 2017
victovrry:
My wife is a good and I can call her a virtuous woman but she won't give me sex when needed

@ victovrry
Since you are responding actively in your thread I will weigh in on your post.
First you need to understand that Virtue is NOT synonymous with Arousal. Let me explain, like most guys you have likely heard of the phrase "Nice guys finish last" it is popular because it is based on real world observations of male on female intersexual dynamics.

Ask yourself this ,how many times have you seen or heard of girls/ladies expressing how sexually aroused they are to a guy because of how NICE he is? Do you think P-Square , Inyanya & Flavour N'abiana have so many female fans because of how NICE they are? cheesy

Being NICE is a virtue BUT it is NOT a sexual attraction trigger or indicator! You being NICE to someone or they being nice to you is not a signal of Sexual Attraction!

You assume your wife's "virtue" is a proof of her sexual attraction to you. Big Mistake !!!


victovrry:

, though we have male and female kids ...please what can I do again? Tried all I have read online and even attends seminals together just to make her change but she did not.

Why should she? You are not somebody she holds in high esteem, you are just a Sperm Donor for her kids. She has the coveted title of Mrs and a loyal Man Servant like you so.....tell me/us ...why should she change?

victovrry:

Please I'm not saying this to paint her black but that is only one aspect I wish she could change.

Advise please !!!

The way forward:
1) You need to STOP thinking you can beg for, romance your way to sexual attraction like some peeps on this thread are telling you. Your wifey won't/can't
Give you what she doesn't have to begin with!!!

You can't negotiate desire

https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/25/the-desire-dynamic/

2) Take some time to focus on yourself. If you have a good paying job keep your CashFlow coming and look for new streams of income. Reconnect with your friends that you may have ignored when you got married, Hit the Gym HARD and build a body you can be proud of.
You'll know you're on the right track when female workmates or random ladies admire you openly or even tell you how good looking you are.

3) Having accomplished the previous steps get talking with her parents about how wifey has neglected you sexually, be clear that you are not having this discussion with them so they can chastise her but rather you simply want her behaviour documented for posterity. Depending on what sway her parents have on her she may become annoyed & attack you verbally to provoke you or she may give you one or two nights of PITY SEX. Do Not Fall for either ploy . don't lay hands on her and don't accept Pity Sex.

4) Meet with a trusted & competent lawyer and make enquiries on how to enact a quick and efficient DIVORCE and retain custody of the kids, discuss all avenues with with HIM.

5) Repeat steps 1 - 3 until you have gotten the needed mental strength to follow through with step 4.
Don' t decieve yourself that you should stay because of the kids as they are better served by having a HAPPY father than one who is just marking time in the marriage.

Life is to short to place the happiness of wifey over all other things because YOU deserve to be HAPPY too.

Shalom.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Marxv: 12:15pm On Sep 26, 2017
IamLEGEND1:
Get a side chick.
Life too short for this kyn stress...
'cause you can be rest assured that she is getting her needs met elsewhere.
It's either that or she was an undercover_lesbian who married you just to save face.
And I don't think any of those options are desirable.
It seems every other aspect of your marriage is working well, so why try to ruin it?
Get a side bish with or without her permission. Wife satisfies your emotional needs, the hoe meets your sexual needs.. It's not adultery, it's called compartmentalization and delegation of duties.

The likes of you discourages women from getting married, makes women think that all men are the same (cheaters)
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by idoncare440(f): 12:20pm On Sep 26, 2017
victovrry:

Church Marriage is a covenant that is above all other type of Marriage .... I can't and will NEVER do that.
then oga stop complaining n face ur warrant, starve yo self to death! its like u don't knw that when a man or woman doesnt have sex....its very bad for your physical n spiritual life n ur health is also @ stake.... na u sabi!

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