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How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by AdaNri1(f): 10:55pm On Sep 25, 2017
Klimaths:
where ever you came from I don't care. I impregnated a woman and I did not deny the pregnancy and took all financial responsibility , you will now tell that because I have not paid price on your head , my child will bear your father's name. Not while am alive . is either we all die , you , me and your father . so that my child can live to bear my name. What nonsense my blood is my blood oooo . I will kill any mother fucker that try nonsense. Please I mean to disrespect , it is just a hypothetical case under study. Please don't take it personal
all this Internet rant will not help you. If that girl is igbo from Anambra state bear in mind that that child belongs to her father. Go out there and confirm.
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by babyfaceafrica: 10:59pm On Sep 25, 2017
uboma:




Your comment is offensive.

Why use the word, 'Negro'?

I agree..very derogatory
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Klimaths: 11:04pm On Sep 25, 2017
AdaNri1:
all this Internet rant will not help you. If that girl is igbo from Anambra state bear in mind that that child belongs to her father. Go out there and ask o
like I said it cannot happen when am alive, anambra state or America state, I said I will kill all parties to the child , if the court can not grant me custody, it is not ranting in my tribe we don't leave our blood, even if I died my kinsmen will continued the fight . anambra or IMO or anybody , my blood is my life. Not when I am alive my child will bear your father's name, then maybe you or your father will not live to tell the story

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Analog95(m): 11:07pm On Sep 25, 2017
dyze:

Lol, easy lion
easy tiger jare

1 Like

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by obaoyedotun(m): 11:10pm On Sep 25, 2017
Go to court and ask for custody and state reasons why you don't think the father is fit enough to have custody of the child and why it's better for the child to be trained by the mother, he will be given right to see his child except if he goes outside the rules that governs his visitation but you have to be sure the new man really wants the child too
Shalomdee:
Hey guys, I really need your advice. A woman got pregnant for a schoolmate in Higher Institution, the guy actually impregnated her deliberately because he wanted her to be trapped with him. This guy is of a very dubious character and has duped a lot of people and done a lot of fraudulent things. When the lady found out all the wicked things he was into (along with getting involved in diabolic stuff), she decided to call it quitts after she was delivered of the child (female). The guy threatened her with all manner of threats but she refused to go back on her decision.

After a few years she eventually met a young man genuinely interested in her who wants to marry her, the lady is scared of commitement because she does not want a situation where she would get married and the ex would come back to demand for his child and make trouble. She does not want to give her ex custody of the child because of his dubious and wicked character.

Is there a law in the country that would support her as the mother of the child to have complete custody of the child since the child was born out of wedlock? Can her new husband formally adopt the child as his legally?

Please lawyers and people with such knowledge should comment. Mods, take this to front page as it is a very delicate situation.
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by MrRitchie: 11:19pm On Sep 25, 2017
Mr ibramovic where's the advice in what u wrote there? If what u wrote there is an advice then I rest my case on u! Don't qoute me again pls
alexistaiwo:

So after reading my comment, you are too dimwitted to deduce the advice in it.


How did some people manage to pass primary school sef?
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Ishilove: 11:25pm On Sep 25, 2017
uboma:




Your comment is offensive.

Why use the word, 'Negro'?

Negro is 'black man'. The race originating from Africa. How's that offensive?

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Ishilove: 11:28pm On Sep 25, 2017
hollowpot15684:


yes for sure, I have a baby mama up and down and believe me there is nothing to hide about it.
But pls how does it concern your father if I fall into such class?
So how is my father remotely connected to you? Slow your fingers, hombre. It's running faster than your thought processes.

You are henceforth ignored.
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by mihrab34(f): 11:31pm On Sep 25, 2017
obaoyedotun:
Go to court and ask for custody and state reasons why you don't think the father is fit enough to have custody of the child and why it's better for the child to be trained by the mother, he will be given right to see his child except if he goes outside the rules that governs his visitation but you have to be sure the new man really wants the child too
.


I have a friend who is in the same situation. She went as far as excluding the Father's name from her baby's birth certificate. I don't think such a man should be given the right to see his child cos he might end up breaking the rules that governs his visitation
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by oshe11: 11:31pm On Sep 25, 2017
Donald7610:
Lol Talk of Nigeria Court doesn't recognize tribe
Have U heard of Customary court
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by danwilliams4u(m): 11:35pm On Sep 25, 2017
If it is in igbo land the guy has no right over the costudy of the child, becaus no bride price was paid. The father of the girl in question is the owner of the child, and only him can decide weather the child sgould go with his biological father or not
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Omoluabi16(m): 11:42pm On Sep 25, 2017
This is a dilemma we're facing too. In the future, it would seem we abandoned those kids when our hands are tied now.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Klimaths: 12:16am On Sep 26, 2017
danwilliams4u:
If it is in igbo land the guy has no right over the costudy of the child, becaus no bride price was paid. The father of the girl in question is the owner of the child, and only him can decide weather the child sgould go with his biological father or not
see stop all this Igbo nonsense here OK, Na the girl father get the sperm or Na him get the joystick when I take do am, what nonsense, it can only happen between Igbo to Igbo , and in their land, come Benin come quote law , make u see watin go happen nosense

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by 9jatatafo(m): 12:43am On Sep 26, 2017
OP blood is thicker than water. The biological father of the child will always be allowed to see his child. Custody or no custody when the child is old enough, she would definitely look for her real father no substitute

1 Like

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by cococandy(f): 12:52am On Sep 26, 2017
He's has a right to see his child.
What you're asking for is unfair to jinx
You're not the only parent to this child.
Unless he had previously abandoned her and/or poses a danger to her, you have no right to want to keep her all to yourself. Put yourself in his shoes.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by cococandy(f): 12:54am On Sep 26, 2017
Culture isn't always right
In fact it seldom is
Donald7610:
The child completely belongs to the mother
Because no legal marriage recorded
But if he go to court, he might be lucky to get access to visit or share with custody of the child
The mother will be lucky if living in Lagos
Lagos State protects mother
Not baba lo ni omo
Especially with brib..
danwilliams4u:
If it is in igbo land the guy has no right over the costudy of the child, becaus no bride price was paid. The father of the girl in question is the owner of the child, and only him can decide weather the child sgould go with his biological father or not
PrecisionFx:




In my tradition, u have no business with any child born out of wedlock. The father of the girl claims the child.

It's a Non-issue.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by cococandy(f): 12:56am On Sep 26, 2017
Shalomdee:
Thanks for all your comments so far but the reason why the girl in question is scared is because the ex is really dangerous and she does not want the daughter growing up in his custody
How's he dangerous? Explain in details

And she doesn't have to grow up in his custody. But he should be able to be a part of her life.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by periphetes: 1:13am On Sep 26, 2017
Shalomdee:
Thanks for all your comments so far but the reason why the girl in question is scared is because the ex is really dangerous and she does not want the daughter growing up in his custody


LOL but op this your emphasis of the ex been very dangerous have you met the ex and heard what really went South between both parties?

Your friend may run to court and claim everything on paper also portray all that is bad about the ex. If she likes adopt another man and force him to father a child which shall never belong to him as blood.

But one thing she will always live forever with till death is the child belongs to the ex whether tradition, court or religion. You can not change the blood of the child. For blood will always be thicker than water.

There was a story early this year of a man who fathered a child for over 30 years, thinking the child was his until the woman confessed the child wasn't. The unfortunate man wept like a baby on live TV.

What I am trying to say is, as long as the ex is alive his child will always be his no matter how evil your friend portrays him to be. No other man can claim and love another man child genuinely as his own seed (his he Jesus Christ? ). There will always be a preference in future if not by him openly but among his own real seeds. Your so called friend will have a long battle to fight in the future. Irrespective how much she tries to brain wash the child from knowing her real father or forcing the new man to accept another man child as his(very pathetic). There will always be a point of difference in there lives.

Unless the child is a bastard blood that he/she won't look or ask for her real father from your friend in future to hear his reason and story. I want you to also know there's always law of karma in whatever we do good or bad. It's just for sometime for individual to reap whatever has been sown.

Forget lawyers and court they will only use you to make money and provide temporal solution. We are Africans not oyinbos and our heritage lives in our blood. Let your friend request calling both families together. Let all sit and dialogue what is best for the child and how it should be handled. The destiny of the innocent child (worst case a female again) shouldn't be played with. Because of two idiotic adults that never knew what they were doing.

A father or mother can never deny ownership of there blood child, but an adopted one can always deny in the future if situations go bad. Asides all this there's a blessing every father or mother places on his blood child head in addition to God divine fulfillment.

Please do not let the innocent child suffer and encounter serious life challenges. Because of the now selfish interest of both irresponsible parent.

Ps... Your gal friend and her ex are greedy and selfish, they will both still be punished by God if they ever make the child feel regrets of been born.

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by abbeyty(m): 4:43am On Sep 26, 2017
Since I wanted to be part of the child's life and the mother deny tme let her go ahead and take the full custody after all when they grow up most of them value their mothers than their fathers. so, what is this fuss all about?
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by aputel: 5:03am On Sep 26, 2017
In everything you have to be smart ,my advice will only work if she is not married to the man who impregnated her . Let her make a full disclosure to the man who want to marry her ,they should go for a court wedding. Once that is done and she has settled down then she can proceed with her normal life.
If the ex now show up or threaten her, he should be picked up and arrested. Let the idiot tell the police that he is the father of the child of someone who is legally married . Also tell her to perfect all papers like birth certificate of the child in the name of the new husband .
If the guy is not careful,she will end up in prison for assault or misconduct. It's a close case please .
Its not about fact ,it's all about how you can exploit the loopholes .
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Legalaffairs(m): 5:58am On Sep 26, 2017
There was no form of marriage between them, be it customary or statutory. Marriage in these two forms has its basic requirements. In customary, there must be a payment of dowry and formal hand over of the woman to the man by the woman's father. Statutorily, there must be a genuine agreement/consent of the two parties of the marriage age before the marriage registry backed by there witnesses as the marriage is contracted and registered. Here genuity of the consent is very important hence deception, and false representation can void the marriage ab initio (ie: seen as not contracted from day one)

In this scenerio there was no marriage in any form. The child belongs to the woman's family. Unless by culture and practice as exercised in certain quarters who don't harbour a "bastard" they will demand the man to come and take the child. Finally the child when he gets to what the law calls the age of discretion (adult age) she could make her choices of paternity or maternity.

The man has no claim in simple terms.
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by revolt(m): 6:04am On Sep 26, 2017
AdaNri1:
Let's wait for those that will come to pass judgement on the lady's character instead of answering poster's question.

If the girl is igbo from Anambra state then she has no problem. It is her father's child because the man (impregnator) did not pay bride price. He just a sperm donor. In my clan we say "ejiro nwa eme ogo" you don't give up a child as favour.
which part of anambra ? Abeg stop creating your own laws.
The family may keep the child if they are willing to care for him but hell always be a second class citizen of tht kindred. Especially if its a boy. Girls have softer landing cos they'll eventually go and get married.
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by edungene7: 6:16am On Sep 26, 2017
If its in in igbo tradition d child belongs to the girls father since no bride price was received from the man who impregnated her so if d girls family actually accepts a bride price from u. You own the child and the mother I dnt know how itz done in other parts
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by uboma(m): 6:24am On Sep 26, 2017
Ishilove:

Negro is 'black man'. The race originating from Africa. How's that offensive?



From your earlier comment, men from other races are to be trusted than men from Africa.

this is what I disagree with.


The general term, 'Men' is more preferable....
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Ishilove: 6:26am On Sep 26, 2017
uboma:




From your earlier comment, men from other races are to be trusted than men from Africa.

this is what I disagree with.


The general term, 'Men' is more preferable....
I didn't want to use 'nigga' because of its antecedents, so I opted for the original form. I was speaking generally about men while trying to avoid using a negative colloquial term.

Stop being so sensitive jare.
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by uboma(m): 6:32am On Sep 26, 2017
Ishilove:

I didn't want to use 'nigga' because of its antecedents, so I opted for the original form. I was speaking generally about men while trying to avoid using a negative colloquial term.

Stop being so sensitive jare.


lol.


I am not being over sensitive here.


You were specifically referring to men from the Black race.

My point is, this is not so as men from other races could put a lady in the family way and still refuse to marry her and support the child when it is born.
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by alexistaiwo: 7:00am On Sep 26, 2017
MrRitchie:
Mr ibramovic where's the advice in what u wrote there? If what u wrote there is an advice then I rest my case on u! Don't qoute me again pls
Did you miss the part where I asked her what will happen if and when her current guy leaves?
Half word is enough for the wise
Wisdom is profitable to direct
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Mrnairalandd: 7:15am On Sep 26, 2017
Evaberry:
yes there is, But you have to go to court to apply for custody. note that the court MAY grant him visitation rights and access to see his daughter

pls do not confuse American law with Nigerian law. they are two completely different things.

The law doesn't care whether bride price was paid or not, so long as the man is the father of the child he has a right to the child.

op you have a very good chance of getting custody.


Are you for real?

It won't work anywhere in the world as long as the baby father is interested in his child.

If everybody or laws permit this, then most children would have been given to another father legally.

Cole work

@Op, tell your friend that she is only being manipulative and freaking selfish by making attempt to stop that child from building a relationship with her father. Every child deserves to be with their fathers regardless

If that new man accept such proposal from your friend, then, that tells you how wicked, selfish and callous the new man is.

A matured and God-fearing man ll advise your friend not to do that. He ll even try to see how your friend and her baby father could work something out. That alone ll tell your friend that the new man has got what it takes to lead a family.

On a lighter note, can we turn the table around to see how your selfish friend ll feel if that child is taken from her and given to another woman?

Women are bleeping evil of this world

Now, she cooked up a story to make the guy look bad so as to pave way to finalise her plan A. Tell her Cole work.

Let her return that child to her father except the dude in question is a drug addict(With evidence ooooo cos women can do anything to have their way)

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by AdaNri1(f): 7:19am On Sep 26, 2017
revolt:
which part of anambra ? Abeg stop creating your own laws.
The family may keep the child if they are willing to care for him but hell always be a second class citizen of tht kindred. Especially if its a boy. Girls have softer landing cos they'll eventually go and get married.
tell that to a family where there's no male child. My friend had a guy we always felt was cheating but never caught. Imagine our shock when a girl walked up to us and told us she was pregnant for him. Long story short; she was an only child and her parents were very happy. Even though my friend's boyfriend and his family wanted to marry her her family refused. Why? Because they wanted her to have the child in their name. They said after she's had the baby he can come and marry and any child afterwards will be his. Capiche?
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by godofuck231: 7:29am On Sep 26, 2017
Shalomdee:
Hey guys, I really need your advice. A woman got pregnant for a schoolmate in Higher Institution, the guy actually impregnated her deliberately because he wanted her to be trapped with him. This guy is of a very dubious character and has duped a lot of people and done a lot of fraudulent things. When the lady found out all the wicked things he was into (along with getting involved in diabolic stuff), she decided to call it quitts after she was delivered of the child (female). The guy threatened her with all manner of threats but she refused to go back on her decision.

After a few years she eventually met a young man genuinely interested in her who wants to marry her, the lady is scared of commitement because she does not want a situation where she would get married and the ex would come back to demand for his child and make trouble. She does not want to give her ex custody of the child because of his dubious and wicked character.

Is there a law in the country that would support her as the mother of the child to have complete custody of the child since the child was born out of wedlock? Can her new husband formally adopt the child as his legally?

Please lawyers and people with such knowledge should comment. Mods, take this to front page as it is a very delicate situation.

Get a court restraint , and please contact your legal adviser
Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Mrnairalandd: 7:36am On Sep 26, 2017
periphetes:



LOL but op this your emphasis of the ex been very dangerous have you met the ex and heard what really went South between both parties?

Your friend may run to court and claim everything on paper also portray all that is bad about the ex. If she likes adopt another man and force him to father a child which shall never belong to him as blood.

But one thing she will always live forever with till death is the child belongs to the ex whether tradition, court or religion. You can not change the blood of the child. For blood will always be thicker than water.

There was a story early this year of a man who fathered a child for over 30 years, thinking the child was his until the woman confessed the child wasn't. The unfortunate man wept like a baby on live TV.

What I am trying to say is, as long as the ex is alive his child will always be his no matter how evil your friend portrays him to be. No other man can claim and love another man child genuinely as his own seed (his he Jesus Christ? ). There will always be a preference in future if not by him openly but among his own real seeds. Your so called friend will have a long battle to fight in the future. Irrespective how much she tries to brain wash the child from knowing her real father or forcing the new man to accept another man child as his(very pathetic). There will always be a point of difference in there lives.

Unless the child is a bastard blood that he/she won't look or ask for her real father from your friend in future to hear his reason and story. I want you to also know there's always law of karma in whatever we do good or bad. It's just for sometime for individual to reap whatever has been sown.

Forget lawyers and court they will only use you to make money and provide temporal solution. We are Africans not oyinbos and our heritage lives in our blood. Let your friend request calling both families together. Let all sit and dialogue what is best for the child and how it should be handled. The destiny of the innocent child (worst case a female again) shouldn't be played with. Because of two idiotic adults that never knew what they were doing.

A father or mother can never deny ownership of there blood child, but an adopted one can always deny in the future if situations go bad. Asides all this there's a blessing every father or mother places on his blood child head in addition to God divine fulfillment.

Please do not let the innocent child suffer and encounter serious life challenges. Because of the now selfish interest of both irresponsible parent.

Ps... Your gal friend and her ex are greedy and selfish, they will both still be punished by God if they ever make the child feel regrets of been born.


Fam, you said it all.

These bitches are evil

She portrayed that guy as evil so as to have her way

Do you know why most of these girls end up in divorce is cos of friends like this. These female friends ll jump at anything that comes from the friends without hearing from their friends' husbands. They ll even present the case as if they were there in the relationships/marriages with their friends

In addition to your story, in my church, a lady eloped with her husband children for years, turn the two children against their father by feeding them all sort of bad stories while they were growing up. She spent all her life raising those two kids in UK and one of the two eventually qualified as a Pharmacist. I can't recall the other one profession. However, the two kids finally met their father few years ago, they listened to what their father got to say about all the mother's lies. These kids finally found out that it's not what their mum made it seemed. Shockingly and sadly, they both hate their mum for it till date. I know their mother in my church, the woman is a walking corpse now. She has done everything to reconcile with those kids but all failed. The daughter couldn't stand her mum till date...

4 Likes

Re: How Do You Gain Complete Custody Of A Child Born Out Of Wedlock? by Mrnairalandd: 7:40am On Sep 26, 2017
godofuck231:


Get a court restraint , and please contact your legal adviser


Mr, Court doesn't work like that.

She must proved to the court with evidence that the father of that child is fit enough to look after his child

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