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| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 4:57am On Mar 13, 2010 |
ayettymama: so is marriage some kind of ties that will keep this man there? my question to you would be WHY DO PEOPLE GET MARRIED AT THE FIRST PLACE? what is the meaning for the union? just because he makes her happy/feel good doesnt mean he loves her and is ready to spend the rest of his life with her- marriage does! are you saying that only marriage signify love?! LMAO come on!!! this man has spent 8yrs with this woman, loved her, accepted her for who she is, been there for her and what not. IF THAT IS NOT LOVE TO YOU THEN NOTHING WILL SATISFY YOU, not even mariage the paper doesnt stop a man from doing anything but at least the man has dignified her by marriage!- not doin that shows shes temporaryso marriage is only about women now?! dignifying her, sound more like making some insecure person feel more secure. look at relationships nowadays- everyone is avoidin marriage, they STILL end up alone!! have you seen a lot of union that can boast of 8yrs of a happy blissful union? pls woman if he really loved u he would have married u by now! what if he doesnt have the money? what if he doesnt have the house where they will live happily ever after? should he just marry her BY ANY MEANS just for some women insecurity?! heloves her, proved it to her for the last 8yrs, what more do es she need? this the reason why women and men dont understand each other. your view of love is marriage, our views of love is being there for you and tending to whatever needs you have in happiness. this women is in a situation where she has everything a woman needs. E V E R Y T H I N G but yet you women want her to throw it all away for some kind of unseen dignity! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:05am On Mar 13, 2010 |
Girl846: honourable!? give me a f&%$ing break!!!! most people in 9ja do not marry for the right reasons. they marry for desperation, marry for peer pressure, marry to look happy (since marriage is the new happiness in 9ja). i mean look at all the desperate post about people willing to marry ANYONE? do you think their marriages will be ¨honourable¨? point in hand: you guys want her to leave this loving caring man to go and settle for just about donkey that will be ok to marry her. if that is an honourable marriage to you then so be it but to me thats garbage union that is bound to either fail or make this person miserable. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:11am On Mar 13, 2010 |
FL Gators: really?! a guy that will accept you for who you are, never cheat, be there for you and makes you happy in and out of the bedroom FOR 8YRS. i beg to differ!!!!! btw i am sure you can find a fool willing to marry you in 9ja in 24hrs, and thats a fact! will you be happy? will the union last more than 6months in happiness? thats another story! Any guy that tells me to "Leave when I find a better dude and the dude better settle him" after 8 years, that a problem. Esp when we're talking about marriage. . . we have not been togeda for 1 year o, not 2 years o, but 8 years. Kilode? any girl that bangs her head about a subject that her bf has already given her a simple answer to, will get such answer. this guy is NOT ready for marriage but yet makes her happy, has done so for 8yrs! so if she doesnt value all the LOVE that he has/is giving to her then his answer is the best he could have given her. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 5:29am On Mar 13, 2010 |
Wow, what gives him the nerve to tell you to leave if you have another toaster? After 8 years too ! ! ! Shuo is he God's gift to women? What happened to him employing a bit tact and diplomacy? Tell you what, your man is fed up of the relationship and wants out, but is a wimp who can't do it on his own hence wants you to be the one to say its over first, by always asking you if you have met someone else. Tell him you have met someone else the next time and see if it will take him a month for him to tell you he has moved on to your rival (the girl he is claiming is helping him with his future, the girl he stormed out of the house for, WHOM HE HAS CLEARLY GIVEN CONTROL OF HIS DESTINY TO) |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 5:31am On Mar 13, 2010 |
i appreciate everyone is different and your views on marriage are diff but lets focus on the situation at hand the time has gone when people use money as an excuse not to get married even 9ce and toni paynes marriage must have cost under £100! if the guy really loves her like u claim he might then why has he refused to marry her?? even if he doesnt think big of it, she does- so why keep her unhappy if he loves her! wats the point bein in a relationship for soo long without takin it to the 'next level'? wats soo difficult confessin your love officially to the gov.t and to the world?? as an educated person- marriage has many benefits socially and culturally cos u dont see it doesnt mean it doesnt exist- married women are put on a higher scale in society, some schools wont take 'barstard children' so even if u dont see the religious aspect ill advise u to look at it as an educated man theres no pride in sittin with a man not ready to make a commitment- its easy to bang a guy for 8 yrs- not easy to stay married to him! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Donvilo(m): 5:33am On Mar 13, 2010 |
He's probably using her or maybe he DOESN'T know what he wants!!!  Abeg, move on with ur life jor! U hav to know that time is no longer by ur side. He may not even hav any feelings for u sef! Just summon courage and get on with urself. (Even though, it's not gonna be easy sha.  ) |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 5:39am On Mar 13, 2010 |
inno its not easy but it has to be done!! instead of her wasting time with a man lether waste it on herself!! nothing feels better than a intengrity you'll repect yourself and hopefully make better decisions in future! women must learn its not a neccesity to be attached to a man esp wen hes bloody useless! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:54am On Mar 13, 2010 |
ayettymama: you are right, money shouldnt be an excuse, let me give you a bunch of other reasons: - he has a bad experiences of marriage after seeing his parents go through hell because of marriage. - he simply doesnt believe in marriage. - he truly believes that women change after marriage(we all know you do) so he doesnt want her to fall into this trap and end up after marriage with someone he doesnt recognize. - since women(and men) get lazy after the ¨I DO¨, he prefers to stay on a ¨relationship basis¨ to keep each of them on their toes and working on the relationship all the time. even if he doesnt think big of it, she does- so why keep her unhappy if he loves her! is relationships all about women needs?! love is about making people happy as long as it makes YOU happy. its about two people being happy together, not one being happy and the other one being miserable following like a donkey. you shouldnt change your priorities in life just because of love. you shouldnt turn into someone you dont want to be just because of love. you should do what you feel is right and if marriage AINT right to you then dont get married. why should someone make their spouse happy at the expense of being miserable?! makes no sense. wats the point bein in a relationship for soo long without takin it to the 'next level'? what you consider the ¨next level¨might not be what her bf considers the next level. maybe this is as high as it will go (for now) in this guy´s mind. when all the signs/situation are right then they will move to the next level. wats soo difficult confessin your love officially to the gov.t and to the world?? some people dont care about the govt and te world, they only care about you and thats why they make sure that YOU know about his love/care. thats all that is important here, if you know he loves you then its all good! as an educated person- marriage has many benefits socially and culturally LOL please enlighten me by telling me what a married woman would benefit in society more than a single one? and also should that be the reason for people to marry? also if some schools dont take ¨children from unwed parents¨ then find the ones who will. this is definitelynot a reason to get married. so even if u dont see the religious aspect ill advise u to look at it as an educated man are you insinuating that you will be ashamed of sitting next to a guy who has been there for you for 8yrs, that is ¨perfect¨in all aspects of the word and yet did not marry you? ayettimama i understand what YOU want in a relationship and marriage but dont assume that everyone should stand by your views of what a union should be. some people look for what you describe and others dont. do not automatically view all men that dont act the way you want as NO GOOD! they are just no good TO YOU. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 6:08am On Mar 13, 2010 |
im not gonna debate over it again- ive said enough pertainin to societies stance on marriage ill simply say- in certain societies (not all) you will get ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE with no ring on your finger and a naughty person child!!! you wont get into certain members clubs- you wont get certain jobs- you cant get into certain positions- your children wont get certain opportunities because its certain people that dont marry and they bring up losers for kids!- pls read abt it dont take my word for it!! no matter how the western world portrays it marriage is still important- well to a certain class of people neways! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 6:27am On Mar 13, 2010 |
speechless!!!  
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| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 6:29am On Mar 13, 2010 |
lolz!! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Girl846(f): 7:09am On Mar 13, 2010 |
@ ayettymama, Very valid points! I could not have put it better for MrBJ!  MBJ, Are you having troubles comprehending what the smart lady above has said? MRbrownJAY: Yes I would be extremely ashamed! 8 years with a man and nothing to show for it - what kind of a pointless relationship is that? To be honest I wont even stick around that long in the first place. Please, I cannot be giving myself to overgrown losers who do not have any clear plans for our future! What a waste of precious time and effort! "If he like it then he should put a ring on it" - heard those words before? |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 7:32am On Mar 13, 2010 |
ayettymama:
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| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 7:46am On Mar 13, 2010 |
now to the poster, If you have already been together for eight years and he hasn't proposed then I think the odds of him doing that now will be very slim and nill. I believe the amount of time you two have known each other and been romantically linked is clearly enough time for him to know whether or not he wants marriage. He may love you, but he Probably do not want to married you or doesn't believe in marriage. Time to do some serious thinking sis, you can not keep wasting your time. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 10:16am On Mar 13, 2010 |
OPEN QUESTION TO THE "MARRIAGE/MARRIED LIFE IS THE BE IT AND ALL, THE ULTIMATE IN LIFE" CREW ~ What does someone lucky enough to get married but has never found peace in his/her home do lets say because the spouse changed after marriage and started cheating, staying out late, started maltreating and beating them till they pass out, makes life hell for them and their kids ? ? ? What advice do you have for people like this with their lives and possibly the lives of their children at risk of danger? Do you advice they remain in such marriage so that the society would not stigmatise them for becoming divorced? Do you advice they remain in such marriage so that they can still remain accepted in society/get their dream jobs/have their bas'tard children accepted at schools without bias/etc POLITE REQUEST TO THE "THROW JESUS AT IT BRIGADE" - I ALREADY KNOW YOUR RESPONSE IS GONNA BE ALONG THE LINES OF "STAY MARRIED,ITS THE DEVIL WHO DOES NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE A HAPPY HOME/FIGHT FOR YOUR MAN/WOMAN, THE PERSON THEY ARE CHEATING WITH HAS JAZZED THEM/PRAY FOR HIM EVEN IF HE BEATS YOU/ETC, SO ABEG SAVE YOUR NAUSEATING COMMENTS (IMHO) AND KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES, NOT GONNA ENTERTAIN IT. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by pappilo(m): 10:23am On Mar 13, 2010 |
Mr BrownJay You get too much sense. I dated my girl for 9 years before we got married in 2006. If it was my own call we will still be unmarried now but would still be together cos I love her. But all the pressure from her family members was becoming too much so i jst agreed and let her know I wouldnt be spending more than was necessary. The marriage was just a big extravaganza to show off to people. Imagine her family spending nothing less than N4 million and I personally had to bring N1 million from my pocket but yet when we returned to our base, we had to take money off the credit card to fix a broken boiler. Just becuase you sign a piece a piece of paper dont mean shyte. We were already living together before we got married and going to Lagos to sign that piece of paper didnt change jack. We just wasted money that could have been better spent. For those little minded girls that think they will be secure if they have signed a piece of paper, please wake up. A man will leave your sorry a$$ if he needs to, marriage or no marriage! @ poster Check with your man if he is ready for kids. Tell him your body clock is ticking and that you,ll be happy to have kids without marriage. If he agrees to this the he means he wants to be with you he just isnt intrested in the marriage just like me. if you guys are ready for children then go ahead and have children and live together happily like you have always done. Dont mind all those people telling you to leave him. Half bread they say is better than none. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 10:33am On Mar 13, 2010 |
Busy_body: i didnt say that!!! i dont think someone who marry's is 'lucky' but if ur speakin as in opposin to not marrying but behaving as if thier married- then what is stopping the spouse from treating her that way now?? they change after marriage [/b]when u dont no them well enuff! wats stoppin him from changin now?? its an individuals decision on whether or not to divorce- I for one am very well aware of the importance of providing a stable home for children! I see single women everyday- it a cycle- thier kids are [b]always messed up!! i say if u cant keep a family together dont borher startin one!!! bas.tard children are almost always obvious- take the crime rates very rarely are they from fulfilled households! teenage pregnancies same thing! o girl u really need to buy some books on child psychology- cos i can go on here 4eva!!! its a womans/mans decision- i know what i will do but were not all the same! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 10:40am On Mar 13, 2010 |
lolz im soo suprised at some attitudes towards marriage whats the difference between bein together for 9 yrs or marryin in the 5th?? its just a piece of paper so whats the big deal with signin it?? why would people want illegitimate kids?? i mean fine in naija the legal and class system is quite crappy but the monkey women that make foolish mistakes dwn here pay dearly!!! we already established you dont need money only the foolish will spend what they dont have on a wedding so wats the difference??- i think most of u guys need to sit down with yourselves, cos the real problem is commitment alot of u feel its a deathsentence- and thats just downright sad! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 11:15am On Mar 13, 2010 |
^^^ The reason i raised the query is because being a single parent could occur as a result of either having a child out of wedlock OR getting married then getting divorced OR being widowed OR being abandoned, etc, and the bottomline is that apart from the widow factor, all the children that results from above are all IGNORANTLY labelled bas'tards according to our archaic backward mentality we like to call "Nigerian culture". So now that we have settled the discrepancies in children that could be labelled bas'tards, would you still advise wives of abusive husbands to stay at home because they are Mrs Somebody and have a place in the society/Have someone to call HUSBAND who calls them wife in return/ stay married in hell so their kids would not get the bas'tard label etc? One thing, forget the myth that people changing after marriage would only be expected if you don't know your fiance/ fiancee well enough, spend more time in the "family section" your eyes will open, and who suffers the most, us women, they are our age mates and are educated like us. PERSONALLY i don't like venturing into that section because it is an eye opener and a very sad place to be sometimes when you hear tales of people suffering and languishing in pain and the constant advice being marriage is not easy, forgive him, even if he has 10 mistresses or u have caught him on top of another woman several times, hmmm . . . I actually studied Psychology as part of my A levels, and here in this part of the World (UK) the law is biased and skewed towards women's rights so you don't need to be married if you have a child with someone to screw them over, All you need is their NI number or hire a private detective from 200, lol. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 11:19am On Mar 13, 2010 |
@pappilo So because half bread is better than none, one should walk right in with eyes open for "elubo" to enter abi, na wa oh. i no fit shout |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 11:30am On Mar 13, 2010 |
no1 there no such thing as a labelled bastard- im not using it as an offensive term- im using the word as it is a child born out of wedlock no2 if u no ur psychology u would no the worst thing u could do to a child- is raise it out of a broken home no3 if u and ur partner are not married here ur child is supoosed to bear ur surname (did u no that??) nigerians ignorantly use the fathers name regardless (sayin its culture) and then end up facing legal problems in future i.e he's not ur child, ie where is the father etc! this ive seen too many times!! no3 yes we no how a single parent could emerge- but were not talkin abt that! were talking abt the woman who has been datin her man for 8 yrs and the man doesnt want to marry! PAY ATTENTION LADY!! ps if u marry then for whatever lose ur husband ur kid is not a bastard, but lets not go off topicno4 i dont no abt the hullabaloo u read- but u must be very aware that this life if full of everything, u will hear all sorts of stories- the women will tell you all sorts of things- the women will never tell u- i pressured him to marry me- he was a little aggresive whilst we were datin- i had a hunch he was cheating- most of them marry thier men KNOWING all of this very well then come and start lamenting at the family section! now inno thats not the case for all but come on, what are the odds you have a very good man when you marrry and he turns sour on you?? no5 marriage is not really meant to be a walk in the park- its our attitide towards it that determines its success, people are aarranged and thier marriages work out fine its only when they 'celebritized' divorce it became soo common! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 11:40am On Mar 13, 2010 |
@ayettymama I have stumbled across some of your posts on NL and you come across as a no-nonsense fiesty chick with her head firmly screwed on, with a character some typical insecure buffoon would label as "omo london", - my kinda character. And I hope you meet the bone of your bone, your own missing ribs and leave together in marital bliss for eternity. Now lets assume someone with a character such as ours gets a boyfriend, and he starts misbehaving, keeping late nights, having numerous concubines, we would waste no time in kicking his arse to the curb BUT what if he starts exhibiting this atrocious behaviour AFTER we have married him, our typical ,can't take crap from anyone" reaction would be to walk, but marriage being a different ballgame requires us to sit him down and try to have a conversation with him, try to resolve things, etc So after trying to get him to see the error of his ways and he does not comply, whats a girl to do? Some ladies whom have been blessed with a patient and gentle nature would eventually start ignoring the man and accept him as their cross to bear, but knowing me and my fiesty character, hmmm, na the back of my head and the sole of my feet una go dey see be that, What can fa? |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 11:51am On Mar 13, 2010 |
heheeh im blushing!!!!lolz erm im gna have to be honest- i dont think much of marriage typically cos i dont think much of men but i think if u want to have kids you must be able to sacrifice alot and be very patient God forbid i get one but imagine i blindly marry finish then the man starts misbehavin *what will i do*i mean i also dont think a man should cheat or fool arnd God knows how much i hate it, but even if i think of leavin the children will make me stay! then again im saying that- in the situation ill probably burn his clothes smash his car and beat up his girlfriends but i dont think thats very nice! and that just makes me very crazy!! what can u do?? guess u just have to pray *shrugs* i dont see why simply trying to talk things thru with ur husband no longer works nowadays! but kai any woman that gets married should always give the man the impression that he could be replaced at any time!!! even after 20 children!!!! |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by chic2pimp(m): 11:58am On Mar 13, 2010 |
Why don't you propose to him if that(marriage) is what you really want?  Happily Married couples where the Lady did the proposing are littered right around the world. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by kaypumpin2(m): 11:59am On Mar 13, 2010 |
I think 8 years is enough time for you to know who he is and what he wants from life,and from you.I do not want to believe someone who has been straight forward and faithful as you stated is a complete "write off"(thus can't advise you to leave him just like that) so you need to sit down and ask yourself some simple questions: 1)Does he come across as someone who wants to settle down with you? 2)From what you know of him,does he have anything specifically against the institution called "marriage"? 3)Is his "problem" financial(some just get pissed off with the whole fanfare attached to marriage in Nigeria) or psychological(check family history)? BTW,him telling you to get on with your life if you see another person who is ready to settle down with you could be his own way of "venting" his insecurities as i am sure you inundate him with this marriage gist quite often. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 12:08pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
Sup kay_pumpin, Whats your take on her rival, the one who seems to be responsible for putting food on his table and buttering his bread? What if as a sign of gratitude, he decides to switch gear and marry this other lady instead? The OP brought her up for the reason that she sees this girl as one of the clog in the wheel to her getting the ring on her finger. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by kaypumpin2(m): 12:31pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
@Busybody(my own sexiest NL chick ) About the other girl,why do i feel she is part of a big plan to keep the OP on her toes.Thing is,while the world accuses the female gender of being the more sensitive and emotional sex,the male gender practices a more grotesque form of "jealousy" that culminates in all sort of insecurities.What makes you feel he is not coming up with the story of a "saviour lady" to make the OP feels he's also got someone as an option as the dude feels the OP is bothering him for marriage cos she's got someone else making a proposal.(Damn i hope i am making sense) I may be wrong but i feel if the man has wanted out,he would have long done it.He is 32 for crying out loud. It still boils down to what the OP makes out of her man,let her do some mind and soul searching and come to a conclusion.8 years of being with this man is enough to know who he is and what he wants from life. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 12:43pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
@ayettymama 1)You didn't coin that term, our forefathers did. 2) I beg to differ, the worst thing you could do to a child is raise him up in an hostile environment where his parents are not happy, mum is constantly abused because such child grows up confused not knowing how to treat and what to expect from his own marriage and leaves them psychologically damaged. We only have one life to live so why spend it in pain, all in the name of "as long as i am still a MRS", i will endure, all in the name of keeping up with the Joneses? Why do you think that despite all the education we have been subjected to unlike our forefathers, divorce, usually stemming from the man's bad behaviour is still very high? Like pappilo said, a man would walk with or without a ring, and the sad truth is it happens a lot with Nigerian couples in the western world a lot. 3) Nope, a child can have their father's name or any name they want, hence the reason their is a birth certificate, Registration of BIRTH and re-registration of birth name i.e. u change ur mind and want another name on the BIRTH CERT, and knowing Britain and their lax law, you prolly can change this as often as you want, lol. 3) No 3 again ke, lol. Sorry we didn't know your posts was specific to this lady's case, it seemed you were generalising, sorry. 4) Some do, whilst some don't, but generally its the men that are at fault COS THEY KNOW WITH NIGERIB.S CULTURE BIASED AGAINST WOMEN, THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER. On a mobile device now, when i come on my lappie, i would post some links about threads opened by other non- ladies to goad us and taunt us as to why we let our men treat us like doormats, and a siddon-dia-do-as-you-are-told-dummy. THANK GOD WE RARELY GET THOSE TOPICS AGAIN, YOU WOULD FEEL LIKE GOING INTO THE SCREEN AND DRAGGING THAT PERSON BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND KNOCKING OUT A FEW OF THEIR TEETH WHILST KNOCKING SOME SENSE INTO THEM, LOL. 5) Methinks it is because of awareness that ladies are starting to realise they don't have to put up with BS anymore. And it ain't just naija ladies. Consider the UK statistics that 2 women die every week in the hands of their partner due to domestic violence all in the name of relationship oh, if 2 die every week, imagine the number maimed and injured? Now compare this statistics to Nigeria where they don't keep records, and where your husband's younger brother or Mother-in-law staying in your matrimonial home, can slap you for not serving their food on time or not keeping the house tidy, lol. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Busybody2(f): 12:58pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
@kay-pimping, lol Ouch, Sheet, i was warming up getting ready to deliver some killer blows to blow whatever you were gonna say outta the water, but you just effortlessly killed my argument in one fell swoop, I forgot i was dealing with one of the most intelligent being on NL, i hate you, lol. Carry go joo, make i go nurse my wounds, lol. @ayettymama Before this iyalode, yours truly, was already hatching a plan to tag along with Fl gators and pretend i was from that yamayama state called Ekiti to blag myself free drinks for me and my entourage for a year at your new joint, but i don't have to go with such plan again because i deserve five years free drink on the house for all this talk you made me talk today, so when should i start coming to mark the register, lol. I COULD MURDER SOME SHEKPE AND BURUKUTU RIGHT NOW, LOL I hope i ain't pushing it, but does the free drinks for 5 years come with free "asun" and free assorted peppersoup too, lol |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Scooby1(m): 1:09pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
@poster tell him to put a ring on it  |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by MsTom(f): 3:01pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
The fact that he is telling you to go with someone else speaks volume. But then, who am I to judge. You know him very well. My advice is this. NEVER force him into marriage. If you do, it would blow up in your face in the future. Either you wait till he is ready which may be never(as some men are scared of commitment and you would know this expect you lie to yourself) or you walk away. It is your choice. |
| Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by harakiri(m): 3:50pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
@Poster It's a hard situation you've found yourself in but you're not the only one.What i'd advice you to is : (1)Don't put pressure on him (2)Don't bring up the issue of marriage again.If he does, fine. (3)Give him some room to make up his mind. He's probably a bit confused right now coz the longer a man stays with a woman, the more he sees who she really is and he wonders if he can live with such a woman for the rest of his life.At this stage, he sees more of the bad than the good.Free him.When he finally sees the grass isn't greener on the other side, he'll appreciate what he has.If doesn't, then its time to move on.The elder brother of the girl i'm seeing right now has been dating a lady for 12+ years! He's 36 now and this year is their 13th year together.What do you have to say about that?They are currently making preparations for marriage before the middle of the year.Give him 6-8 weeks to get himself together.Don't "gum" him or pester him.Act like nothing is wrong.Trust me, it will get to him if he's the one for you.If he doesn't show any response, then it's time to put yourself back in the market. End of. |
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