This has always been a burdensome issue on my mind and I have always wondered if it is really ok or not.

So please I would like you to help me out here. Do you think it's ideal and OK for Christians to engage in dating or do you feel Christians should court directly and then marry??

Abeg share wetin u think with me. The thing don tire me

why not. Are christians not human being. Don't christians have emotion.



Do am for open light no go dey do am 4 backyard.

Hmmmm

Konji even catches Christians...we are all in it.. So don't think Christians are different from human beings

fumisko, what is the difference between dating and courting directly?

Seun:
fumisko, what is the difference between dating and courting directly?

Dating should be the boyfriend and girlfriend
Courtship is fiance/fiancée.....
Some churches, and maybe mine are against dating, they believe you should pick a partner and court for few months n get married.
So does that make dating sinful?? Like illegal or more like the way of the world?

fumisko:

Dating should be the boyfriend and girlfriend
Courtship is fiance/fiancée.....
Some churches, and maybe mine are against dating, they believe you should pick a partner and court for few months n get married.
So does that make dating sinful?? Like illegal or more like the way of the world?

just like that.... Abeg what is the name of your church? Its high time I preached sense instead of salvation.

Christians should engage in dating
It's not a bad thing nah

Op, se church deeperlife lo n lo ni?

fumisko:

Dating should be the boyfriend and girlfriend
Courtship is fiance/fiancée.....
Some churches, and maybe mine are against dating, they believe you should pick a partner and court for few months n get married.
So does that make dating sinful?? Like illegal or more like the way of the world?

That church of yours lacks any form of intelligence.

MhizzAJ:
Christians should engage in dating It's not a bad thing nah

Yes ooo Dating and every other mele mele

fumisko:

Dating should be the boyfriend and girlfriend
Courtship is fiance/fiancée.....
Some churches, and maybe mine are against dating, they believe you should pick a partner and court for few months n get married.
So does that make dating sinful?? Like illegal or more like the way of the world?

Lol Dating and Courting is the same thing. I personally believe one should date when he or she is ready to get married and not just for the fun of it.

in Christianity anything goes....


no rules no principle. just go brainless and you are saved....

fumisko:

Dating should be the boyfriend and girlfriend
Courtship is fiance/fiancée.....
Some churches, and maybe mine are against dating, they believe you should pick a partner and court for few months n get married.
So does that make dating sinful?? Like illegal or more like the way of the world?

Your church is right. That must be a godly church that can lead you to the strait gate and the narrow way.

Don't follow what the people of the world are doing.
No amount of dating can make you to understand your partner. The bible makes us to understand that:

The heart is deceitful above all things , and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Dating is an idea from the devil.
It makes you to fall into fornication.
It makes you want to choose for yourself instead of allowing God to choose for you.
It make you to end up marrying the wrong person, most of the time.
If you decided to leave , it is either you are hurt or the other get hurt.
Most time it leads to pregnancy b4 marriage.

It was God that chose wife for Issac. They did not date , still love was between them

Genesis 24:67 KJV
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death .


All you need is pray and God will choose for you the right parner at the appropriate time.

Remember if you marry you cannot divorce except on the ground of adultery.

God knows the best partner for you.

gentle136:
why not. Are christians not human being. Don't christians have emotion.



Do am for open light no go dey do am 4 backyard.

Dear Brother, dating isn't Christian. That idea of dating is not only worldly but is risky to anybody's Christian life.

Any non-platonic relationship with the opposite sex according to the Bible, should ONLY be directly focused on marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:2
[2]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.


Notice he didn't say let everyone have their girlfriends.


Ephesians 5:31
[31]For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

fumisko:
This has always been a burdensome issue on my mind and I have always wondered if it is really ok or not.

So please I would like you to help me out here. Do you think it's ideal and OK for Christians to engage in dating or do you feel Christians should court directly and then marry??

Abeg share wetin u think with me. The thing don tire me

age matters.. How old art thou?

JeffreyJamez:



Lol Dating and Courting is the same thing. I personally believe one should date when he or she is ready to get married and not just for the fun of it.

after i realized the emboldened i had to call it quit.
U are just so right

The bottom line is that you're not fornicating.it's because most relationship lead to such act that most churches draw the line between the two concept. You can court your friend for as long as you care but it's advisable you don't court for long. The reason being that you can't know everything about your partner hence it's advisable to take it up in prayers and ask the lord for direction.

Its called courting

As Christians, what will you be doing while dating that you can't do as just friends?

KunleSteel:
As Christians, what will you be doing while dating that you can't do as just friends?

So how would the girl have that security that you are for her?
I mean if you end up calling Amaka, kemi, Doris etc your friends at the same with her What gives her the security that she has something more than friendship with u and that you are planing a future of courtship with her??

enilove:


Your church is right. That must be a godly church that can lead you to the strait gate and the narrow way.

Don't follow what the people of the world are doing.
No amount of dating can make you to understand your partner. The bible makes us to understand that:

The heart is deceitful above all things , and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Dating is an idea from the devil.
It makes you to fall into fornication.
It makes you want to choose for yourself instead of allowing God to choose for you.
It make you to end up marrying the wrong person, most of the time.
If you decided to leave , it is either you are hurt or the other get hurt.
Most time it leads to pregnancy b4 marriage.

It was God that chose wife for Issac. They did not date , still love was between them

Genesis 24:67 KJV
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death .


All you need is pray and God will choose for you the right parner at the appropriate time.

Remember if you marry you cannot divorce except on the ground of adultery.

God knows the best partner for you.

But I thought that was the culture then?
Remember Mary was Bethrothed (pls abeg correct the spelling) with Joseph for a while
This shows that culture had evolved just as society evolves

Another issue is that it's not usually clearly pointed out that this is your wife or husband....not everybody has that gift or hears directly in prayers like that.
So how can when tell?

fumisko:

So how would the girl have that security that you are for her?
I mean if you end up calling Amaka, kemi, Doris etc your friends at the same with her What gives her the security that she has something more than friendship with u and that you are planing a future of courtship with her??

Kunle sees Funmi and Kunle likes what he sees. Kunle walks up to Funmi and introduces himself. Kunle and Funmi converse, exchange contacts, and become friends. Kunle calls Funmi often, hangs out with her to know her better. Kunle, so far, likes what he knows about Funmi and tells her he sees a future of them together and wants to spend the rest of his life with Funmi. Funmi asks for time to think about it, and Funmi eventually says yes. Now Kunle and Funmi are committed to each other, popularly called courtship or fiance-fiancee thingy.

I left out the part of prayers and seeking counsel because that goes without saying.

fumisko:

But I thought that was the culture then?
Remember Mary was Bethrothed (pls abeg correct the spelling) with Joseph for a while
This shows that culture had evolved just as society evolves

Another issue is that it's not usually clearly pointed out that this is your wife or husband....not everybody has that gift or hears directly in prayers like that.
So how can when tell?

From the history of Joseph and Mary in the Bible , we could see that Mary and Joseph were children of God and obedient to God's commandments.
They did not have sex bofore marriage. Angel appeared to both the husband and the wife.
They were vessel capable of receiving from God. It means the two might have receive information regarding whom to marry. It is not every detail that the Bible would give.Probably they prayed or inquired of the Lord before Mary was betrothed to Joseph.

About receiving revelations from God. I want you to know that God wants and would love to communicate wirh you. God passes information to everyone in diff ways.

It can be by dreams, visions , voice or through the Bible.

Even if you are not sure about whether God will reveal message to you regarding your spouse to be , just pray to God to " send your own spouse to your and send away wrong person ".
With that , you have committed everything into His hand.

Pls note that the world may be evolving but the standard of God does not change. It is the devil and his agents that are changing the world to put everyone in captivity.

KunleSteel:


Kunle sees Funmi and Kunle likes what he sees. Kunle walks up to Funmi and introduces himself. Kunle and Funmi converse, exchange contacts, and become friends. Kunle calls Funmi often, hangs out with her to know her better. Kunle, so far, likes what he knows about Funmi and tells her he sees a future of them together and wants to spend the rest of his life with Funmi. Funmi asks for time to think about it, and Funmi eventually says yes. Now Kunle and Funmi are committed to each other, popularly called courtship or fiance-fiancee thingy.

Remove that first part of hanging out with her. If he didn't see the future of both of them together in the first place, then the hanging out with her to know her is useless.
You see a lady you like for marriage, you tell her, you start courting. If you see something you don't like? you withdraw. You are convinced you wanna marry her? you get official. Simple.

damosky12:



Remove that first part of hanging out with her. If he didn't see the future of both of them together in the first place, then the hanging out with her to know her is useless.
You see a lady you like for marriage, you tell her, you start courting. If you see something you don't like? you withdraw. You are convinced you wanna marry her? you get official. Simple.

You still not getting my problem

How would u just be convinced you want to marry a woman just like that@ you seeing big picture

Like I said earlier, not everyone sees a picture or a vision or hear the voice of God loud. as you said Except maybe by hanging out with her to know her better while you are studying her and praying more about her of which u said he should remove the "hanging out"

So how would it work?
I am trying to be practical with it n relating it to real life on how u Wld just hv d big picture that she is your wife just like that from the beginning

DATING ? NO
COURTSHIP? YES
TAKE THE LADIES AS SISTERS UNLESS YOU ARE ARE MARRIED. DON'T GET INTO ANY ROMANTIC WITH EACH OTHER WHEN YOU ARE NOT MARRIED BECAUSE IT IS A SIN. THE BIBLE SAYS ;
MARRIAGE IS A HONORABLE THING WITH THE BED UNDEFILED.
DO NOT STIR UP LOVE BEFORE IT IS TIME.

@Fumisko, Though this is a 5 year old long post. What did you eventually arrived at about this topic?

dochenaj:
@Fumisko, Though this is a 5 year old long post. What did you eventually arrived at about this topic?

Dating or courtship or whatever you chose to call it is not sin this since Jesus Christ never gave any commandments depicting it as sin so let no man delude you with their lies.

What is sin is as given by Jesus Christ, the one who is God's New Covenant Law and Truth in the Kingdom of God, what we call the Gospel. None of the almost 100 commandments depicts dating as sin. So focus on obeying that which is commanded and not that which is not.

Kobojunkie:
Dating or courtship or whatever you chose to call it is not sin this since Jesus Christ never gave any commandments depicting it as sin so let no man delude you with their lies.

What is sin is as given by Jesus Christ, the one who is God's New Covenant Law and Truth in the Kingdom of God, what we call the Gospel. None of the almost 100 commandments depicts dating as sin. So focus on obeying that which is commanded and not that which is not.

"Whoever lusts after a woman commits fornication with her", those were the exact words of Jesus. Jesus' specification of what is sin is even deeper than the specification of the Law. While Jesus didn't address courtship or dating we can infer from what he addressed, what He will say for the case of dating.

Can you tell me, you can engage in dating without succumbing to lust? Which according to Jesus is equal to fornication. Mind you we are not even talking about fornication which appears to be commonplace among people dating. Today fornication is justified in the name of dating even among believers.

dochenaj:
1. "Whoever lusts after a woman commits fornication", those were the exact words of Jesus. Jesus proscription of what is sin is even deeper than the specification of the Law. While Jesus didn't address courtship or dating we can infer from what he addressed what He will specify for the case of dating.

2. Can you tell me, you can engage in dating without succumbing to lust? Which according to Jesus is equal to fornication. Mind you we are not even talking about fornication which appears to be commonplace among people dating. Today fornication is justified in the name of dating even among believers.

1. in Matthew 5 vs 27 - 28, Jesus Christ instead called it Adultery, not fornication.

Also to infer that sexual lust is behind all dating is a bit much.

2. Succumbing to lust is one thing. Dating is another. Many date without ever really lusting after their date for one reason or another. However, even those without a dating relationship can and do succumb to lust. So tying dating to adultery is not a right way to go at all.

Those who make excuses for fornication do so for reason unrelated to God's Law, Jesus Christ. We have no right to add our own modifications to God's Law because of what people do. That is sin.