well O.p your write up swings sideways but ama accept most of what you type. love have expiry date so marriage on transaction base brings out the best in relationships.

Benita27:
You can never be fulfilled...relationship wise, if you find yourself in such a relationship. Going by what you've stated here, the parties involved would be emotionally unavailable 'cause your relationship is transactional which makes it pure business for those involved. It's human nature to want to love and be loved. Imagine yourself in a relationship the lady/guy in question doesn't have an atom of feelings for you, it's best to have a one night stand than getting entangled in such affairs. On this note, I totally disagree with this write-up 'cause it didn't make sense to me.

You're absolutely correct. The problem is that someone like the OP hear but neither know nor understand what the term "partners in marriage" mean. He mistook and misrepresented the fact totally. He's propagating opportunism in marriage - a direct assent for golddiggers to come together to form a union in the name of marriage. What he failed to understand is that even in the commercial business world, two opportunists never form a lasting and rancor-free partnership, because an opportunist is a self-centered and greedy personified person. So, I wonder how anyone with sound sense of judgment will advocate such for marriage - a sacred union.

More so, he obviously lacks proper understanding about what real/sustainable love is, therefore, the reason he erroneously concluded that marriages built on love are the reasons why divorcement is the order of the day.

Real love/sustainable love is the foundation upon which any healthy marriage is built on. And it's only achievable through the sequences; acquaintances (this happens when strangers incidentally or otherwise meet) - friends (this happens when acquaintances observed through interactions that they have almost same good personal ethical philosophies in common) - partners (this happens when both parties physically fancies each other plus an already established friendship) - lovers/real love (mutual fancy added to friendship). A marriage built upon this pattern never/can never fail. . . The potency of the axiom “Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are” should never be undermined.

However, when the above pattern of sustainable love is not followed, there you will have a superficial or an outright fake love, which is either built on fancy/physical attraction alone without consideration to mutual good ethical philosophies (shared common good attributes) or one purely built based on material things by one of the parties or both parties (which is an indirect meaning of the junk he postulated and posted). Then when the physical attraction fades or material goodies vanishes/become less appetizing, problems sets in which automatically results to either frenemies living together or separation or divorcement.

Benita27:
My dear, real love exist, and poo happens.

I understand your line of thought but truth be said, true love is more hullucinatory than factual.. Have you asked why couples after professing undying and deep love for eachother, or even take oaths, go on to become strangers or worse off, enemies.. There is really nothing like true love.. It is like ghosts everyone believe they exist but no one has seen any... What keep couples together is not love but the conscious decision to keep the relationship going..

LordKO:



You're absolutely correct. The problem is that someone like the OP hear but neither know nor understand what the term "partners in marriage" mean. He mistook and misrepresented the fact totally. He's propagating opportunism in marriage - a direct assent for golddiggers to come together to form a union in the name of marriage. What he failed to understand is that even in the commercial business world, two opportunists never form a lasting and rancor-free partnership, because an opportunist is a self-centered and greedy personified. So, I wonder how anyone with sound sense of judgment will advocate such for marriage - a sacred union.

More so, he obviously lack proper understanding about what real/sustainable love is, therefore, the reason why he erroneously concluded that marriages built on love are the reasons why divorces are the order of the day.

Real love/sustainable love is the foundation upon which any healthy marriage is built on. And it's only achievable through the sequences; acquaintances (this happens when strangers incidentally or otherwise meet) - friends (this happens when acquaintances observed through interactions that they have almost same good personal ethical philosophies in common) - partners (this happens when both parties physically fancies each other plus an already established friendship) - lovers/real love (mutual fancy added to friendship). A marriage built upon this pattern never/can never fail. . . The potency of the axiom “Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are” should never be undermined.

However, when the above pattern of sustainable love is not followed, there you will have a superficial or an outright fake love, which is either built on fancy/physical attraction alone without consideration to mutual good ethical philosophies (shared common good attributes) or one purely built based on material things by one of the parties or both parties (which is an indirect meaning of the junk he postulated and posted) - then when the physical attraction fades or material goodies vanishes/become less appetizing, problems sets in which automatically results to either frenemies living together or separation or divorcement.

Your writeup clearly shows you lack a deep insight of what marriage is all about. From your arguement, marriages majorly crash when the physical attraction dwindles or riches goes into the thin air but that is exceedingly erroneous. There are marriages that lasted barely six months after the couples, who are affluent, had dated for close to a decade.. Neither the longetivity of friendship nor the powerfullness of the bond keeps any marriage but the determination to continue going against all odds.. And that has nothing to do with real or true love.. The cliche love is a relative term..

omegaRealtoz:
Dear OP. Your write up is so wrong. Because it works for you does not mean it works for another. God that Instituted love is all wise so my dear even if you go into a relationship with these rules as time goes on one of you will still start developing feelings so whats d point. These are keys to loneliness.

My point exactly...let the feelings be secondary.

Qsscruz:

Your writeup clearly shows you lack a deep insight of what marriage is all about. From your arguement, marriages majorly crash when the physical attraction dwindles or riches goes into the thin air but that is exceedingly erroneous. There are marriages that lasted barely six months after the couples, who are affluent, had dated for close to a decade.. Neither the longetivity of friendship nor the powerfullness of the bond keeps any marriage but the determination to continue going against all odds.. And that has nothing to do with real or true love.. The cliche love is a relative term..

Look for your small-minded mates elsewhere. I will neither dialogue nor join issue with someone that doesn't understand what "ethical philosophies" mean, because assuming that you understand it, you wouldn't have made an unintelligent statement like "There are marriages that lasted barely six months after the couples, who are affluent, had dated for close to a decade.. Neither the longetivity of friendship nor the powerfullness of the bond keeps any marriage." LOL.

Also, I wonder where you got this from "From your arguement, marriages majorly crash when the physical attraction dwindles or riches goes into the thin air but that is exceedingly erroneous." certainly not from me, since my submission is pro marriage majorly built on immaterial attributes plus fancy.

LordKO:



You're absolutely correct. The problem is that someone like the OP hear but neither know nor understand what the term "partners in marriage" mean. He mistook and misrepresented the fact totally. He's propagating opportunism in marriage - a direct assent for golddiggers to come together to form a union in the name of marriage. What he failed to understand is that even in the commercial business world, two opportunists never form a lasting and rancor-free partnership, because an opportunist is a self-centered and greedy personified. So, I wonder how anyone with sound sense of judgment will advocate such for marriage - a sacred union.

More so, he obviously lack proper understanding about what real/sustainable love is, therefore, the reason why he erroneously concluded that marriages built on love are the reasons why divorcement is the order of the day.

Real love/sustainable love is the foundation upon which any healthy marriage is built on. And it's only achievable through the sequences; acquaintances (this happens when strangers incidentally or otherwise meet) - friends (this happens when acquaintances observed through interactions that they have almost same good personal ethical philosophies in common) - partners (this happens when both parties physically fancies each other plus an already established friendship) - lovers/real love (mutual fancy added to friendship). A marriage built upon this pattern never/can never fail. . . The potency of the axiom “Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are” should never be undermined.

However, when the above pattern of sustainable love is not followed, there you will have a superficial or an outright fake love, which is either built on fancy/physical attraction alone without consideration to mutual good ethical philosophies (shared common good attributes) or one purely built based on material things by one of the parties or both parties (which is an indirect meaning of the junk he postulated and posted) - then when the physical attraction fades or material goodies vanishes/become less appetizing, problems sets in which automatically results to either frenemies living together or separation or divorcement.

Wisdom!.

LordKO:


Look for your small-minded mates elsewhere. I will neither dialogue nor join issue with someone that doesn't understand what "ethical philosophies" mean, because assuming that you understand it, you wouldn't have made an unintelligent statement like "There are marriages that lasted barely six months after the couples, who are affluent, had dated for close to a decade.. Neither the longetivity of friendship nor the powerfullness of the bond keeps any marriage." LOL.

Also, I wonder where you got this from "From your arguement, marriages majorly crash when the physical attraction dwindles or riches goes into the thin air but that is exceedingly erroneous." certainly not from me, since my submission is pro marriage majorly built on immaterial attributes plus fancy.

My guy quit all this Grammer and face reality.

I'm a man who have seen much In this life and all this your Grammer can not bring sanity into the crazy world of romance.
Yes we have very rare cases of unconditional love. .maybe 1 in 100 or even 1000.

What I wrote is very factual and until you have been married for at least 5 years you will continue to blow Grammer and not see the facts.

The truth is that 99% of marriages are hinged on subliminal selfish interests which totally corroborated my write up.

LordKO:


Look for your small-minded mates elsewhere. I will neither dialogue nor join issue with someone that doesn't understand what "ethical philosophies" mean, because assuming that you understand it, you wouldn't have made an unintelligent statement like "There are marriages that lasted barely six months after the couples, who are affluent, had dated for close to a decade.. Neither the longetivity of friendship nor the powerfullness of the bond keeps any marriage." LOL.

Also, I wonder where you got this from "From your arguement, marriages majorly crash when the physical attraction dwindles or riches goes into the thin air but that is exceedingly erroneous." certainly not from me, since my submission is pro marriage majorly built on immaterial attributes plus fancy.

You basically have chosen to superfically read the writeup..No matter how many factors you think are needed to make a marriage work, there some that will still crumble with all those things in place. It is like life, there is no formula to it. Just discorver what works for you. About the "small-minded mates", learn how not to use disparaging words but improve you argument, fool...Nonentity forming encyclopedia of knowledge..

It's basically a business deal! Just stop speaking too much grammar to sugar coat what you really want

Toks2008:


My guy quit all this Grammer and face reality.

I'm a man who have seen much In this life and all this your Grammer can not bring sanity into the crazy world of romance.
Yes we have very rare cases of unconditional love. .maybe 1 in 100 or even 1000.

What I wrote is very factual and until you have been married for at least 5 years you will continue to blow Grammer and not see the facts.

The truth is that 99% of marriages are hinged on subliminal selfish interests which totally corroborated my write up.

LOL. So you don't know that there's something called "insight" which is superior to experience. . . I don't need to allow a moving train to kill me first, before I'll have an understanding that it's foolish to stand before it. This nullifies your talk about the need for me to have experience in marriage first.

More so, I'm not an advocate of unconditional love, because as much as it's notionally possible yet it's literally impossible to achieve - it's meaningless. When I hear people like you mention unconditional love, I know that literally you're referring to superficial love/love based solely on physical or material attraction without due considerations to character which is the main thing that sustains any healthy relationship. Unconditional love never end well for the practitioner.

Talk about selfless love then I'll take you serious, because here you'll have love that is based upon immaterial things (good attributes), which is a definition of real love. Open your eyes - achieve self-realization and embrace diplomatic ethical leanings and look for a lady of the same ethical leanings - you'll find it.

I know and understand what I'm saying because I've never suffered heartbreak from any woman before even though I've been in the game of relationship for too long. I only stay in a healthy relationship.

mind you!partner can always leave you for another better partner and still come back to you if the other fail!! so think twice!

LordKO:


LOL. So you don't know that there's something called "insight" which is superior to experience. . . I don't need to allow a moving train to kill me first, before I'll have an experience to know that it's foolishness to stand before it. This nullifies your talk about the need for me to have experience in marriage first.

More so, I'm not an advocate of unconditional love, because as much as it's notionally possible yet it's literally impossible to achieve - it's meaningless. When I hear people like you mention unconditional love, I know that literally you're referring to superficial love/love based solely on physical attraction without due considerations to character which is the main thing that sustains healthy relationship. Unconditional love never end well for the practioner.

Talk about selfless love then I'll take you serious, because here you'll have love that is based upon immaterial things (good attributes), which is a definition of real love. Open your eyes - achieve self-realization and embrace diplomatic ethical leanings and look for a lady of the same ethical leanings - and you'll find it.

I know and understand what I'm saying because I've never suffered heartbreak from any woman before even though I've been in the game of relationship for too long. I only stay in a healthy relationship.

Clap for yourself. ..when you are faced with reality, come back to comment.

Ayodootcom:
mind you!partner can always leave you for another better partner and still come back to you if the other fail!! so think twice!

And lovers remain forever abi.

LordKO:


LOL. So you don't know that there's something called "insight" which is superior to experience. . . I don't need to allow a moving train to kill me first, before I'll have an experience to know that it's foolishness to stand before it. This nullifies your talk about the need for me to have experience in marriage first.

More so, I'm not an advocate of unconditional love, because as much as it's notionally possible yet it's literally impossible to achieve - it's meaningless. When I hear people like you mention unconditional love, I know that literally you're referring to superficial love/love based solely on physical attraction without due considerations to character which is the main thing that sustains healthy relationship. Unconditional love never end well for the practioner.

Talk about selfless love then I'll take you serious, because here you'll have love that is based upon immaterial things (good attributes), which is a definition of real love. Open your eyes - achieve self-realization and embrace diplomatic ethical leanings and look for a lady of the same ethical leanings - and you'll find it.

I know and understand what I'm saying because I've never suffered heartbreak from any woman before even though I've been in the game of relationship for too long. I only stay in a healthy relationship.

you can't cultivate healthy relationships with misogynists and chauvinists na. toks2008 is a lost case.

Proudgorgeousga:


you can't cultivate healthy relationships with misogynists and chauvinists na. toks2008 is a lost case.

lmao! this piece will never make sense to dreamers and teenagers.

Toke makinwa and her likes will tell you more. ..

As if she can marry a jobless man and she is here trying to contradict facts...

Continue fooling yourself...my man should be this and that yet you are not reasonable to catch the message in that write up...continue to blow Grammer

Your type plenty for outside dey find real love...continue
...

Naija girls and hypocrisy be like...

Toks2008:


[s]lmao! this piece will never make sense to dreamers and teenagers.

Toke makinwa and her likes will tell you more. ..

As if she can marry a jobless man and she is here trying to contradict facts...

Continue fooling yourself...my man should be this and that yet you are not reasonable to catch the message in that write up...continue to blow Grammer

Your type plenty for outside dey find real love...continue
...

Naija girls and hypocrisy be like...[/s]

trash

Proudgorgeousga:


trash

So unbelievable that many ladies did not get the message at all.

A partner like relationship is tantamount to a very strong romance. ..dimple logic but you people always read from the bottom. ...


Read again and slowly this time around..
you all shout love love and latter will say all men are the same,we are heartless wicked.....so who is fooling who?

Just take your lover like a partner and enjoy purposeful union where your emotions come secondary. ..if this does not make sense to you then sorry I can't help further.

Toks2008:


[s]So unbelievable that many ladies did not get the message at all.

A partner like relationship is tantamount to a very strong romance. ..dimple logic but you people always read from the bottom. ...


Read again and slowly this time around..
you all shout love love and latter will say all men are the same,we are heartless wicked.....so who is fooling who?

Just take your lover like a partner and enjoy purposeful union where your emotions come secondary. ..if this does not make sense to you then sorry I can't help further.[/s]

I have always known romantic love is an illusion. so talk another thing.

Tell me how a male chauvinist like you can form a partnership with a woman that's what I want to know.

I think the word 'love' is wrongly applied when it comes to human emotional attachments. Love is a person. To find the right mate, ask Love to help you.

Proudgorgeousga:


I have always known romantic love is an illusion. so talk another thing.

Tell me how a male chauvinist like you can form a partnership with a woman that's what I want to know.

If I date you,you will thank GOD everyday for having a man like me.

I write realistic stuffs and not my personal beliefs or life style.

True talk[color=#990000][/color]

i get what you are saying toks2008 , you are right.

its simply means to me that love should not be the number priority that establishes and makes true relationship last forever, why ?
because love is always present. its the partners activity or how will put it, that strengthens the ground for LOVE and not LUST

as for the issue of sex that most people go crazy about, although i haven't entered a relationship, i am very sure that there are more pleasurable things in good relationship than sex.

and as for those who say breakup , it means to me that that relationship wasn't meant to be due not following or having vital understanding

if i enter a relationship, they will be not like breakup because i and my partner would have a perfect understanding of what it means to be in a relationship

levisco16:
i get what you are saying toks2008 , you are right.

its simply means to me that love should not be the number priority that establishes and makes true relationship last forever, why ?
because love is always present. its the partners activity or how will put it, that strengthens the ground for LOVE and not LUST

You got it but its so amazing that most ladies who are the victim of that emotional thing called love are still missing it. Now i know that ladies are their own biggest problems.

You got it but its so amazing that most ladies who are the victim of that emotional thing called love are still missing it. Now i know that ladies are their own biggest problems.

thats so funny, someday i will start a relationship, this post really help me, because i have been telling a guy about things like this that you posted.

i will show him this post , first thing on monday at work where i teach when i see him

Toks2008:


You got it but its so amazing that most ladies who are the victim of that emotional thing called love are still missing it. Now i know that ladies are their own biggest problems.

thats so funny, someday i will start a relationship.
your post has really helped me alot, because i have been telling a guy things like this in your post before you posted this.

i will show him this post first thing on monday when i see him at my place of work where i teach

levisco16:


thats so funny, someday i will start a relationship.
your post has really helped me alot, because i have been telling a guy things like this in your post before you posted this.

i will show him this post first thing on monday when i see him at my place of work where i teach

Good

Benita27:
If e no help you, e help others. Marriage/relationship of convenience is one based on agreement rather than mutual feeling(love). Do you really understand what's like to be confined in a room with someone that all your relationship is about is documented and must be agreed upon?.

This reminds me of Christian Grey's agreement with Anastasia Steel #Fiftyshadesofgrey.

Nice one
No mind Toks

Lalas247:


Nice one
No mind Toks

Perhaps he's been too heartbroken.

Tell those saying love doesn't exist that it does. You're a testimony to that.

Benita27:
Perhaps he's been too heartbroken.

Tell those saying love doesn't exist that it does. You're a testimony to that.

Amen sister, I am now a believer

Ben I abeg come other side serious matter biko x