Initiation things .

Don't ask me to go into details

What's wrong with that ? I spent holidays with my grandma and I don't see how that can hurt a child. You are making a mountain out of a molehill

im sure if it's ur mum u wont oblige

Marrying a white woman means that you've to drop some parts of your Nija mentality. Be flexible bro.

keepingmum:
I hope when your mum or relative ask for a sleepover with your child you ll maintain the same stance sha...

leave him,let him start what he can't finish

I feel the child is way too young and the mother in law have to wait a little more. Let’s say when the child is around 5 years old. I will advice you it for peace sake. Like so many people commented, it will give you and madam some privacy and quality time.

Since na oyinbo no problem na.

talk2percy:
Bro, there's nothing wrong with ur child spending the night with her granny...or is there sth more u are not telling us

no mind am. He is indirectly calling grandma a witch. Once I leave here now I'm going to show his post to the woman and her family

Mudley313:
Abeg, I need some advice concerning this matter

Me and my wife just quarreled because her mother asked for our only daughter who is two and half to sleep at her place and I said NO because I was not too comfortable with the idea. My wife is an only daughter and the mother is single with no husband or boyfriend. We give her all the time she wants alone with our child but she just seems obsessed with having her alone for a sleepover and my body no catch dat one. Her reason is she wants to bond more and she was very close with her own garandma blah, blah, blah. But this woman has been very manipulative in me and her daughters relationship in the past because they're abnormally close. Although she has pipped down a bit, I just don't want to create an opening for her to start that with my own daughter cos why would she insist for an all-night? what is wrong with spending time during the day time? what's so special about night time? Is it just to be able to have total control?

Anyway, I go appreciate una feedback and advice well well if anyone here have experienced such before and I don't want to come out looking like I'm overreacting

P.S. By the way, my wife na oyinbo, so I just wanna gather a proper naija perspective on the matter. Thank you in advance!

Don't let them.

Else you'll wake up one day and it's you against 3 females.

Small tins like this dey scatter marriage.. Always allow children bond with their grannies and inlaws..they actually do the bonding for you...so no biggie..afterall the sleep over does not make ur kid hers..whats the issue here sef..seems there is more to this..

Mudley313:
Abeg, I need some advice concerning this matter

Me and my wife just quarreled because her mother asked for our only daughter who is two and half to sleep at her place and I said NO because I was not too comfortable with the idea. My wife is an only daughter and the mother is single with no husband or boyfriend. We give her all the time she wants alone with our child but she just seems obsessed with having her alone for a sleepover and my body no catch dat one. Her reason is she wants to bond more and she was very close with her own garandma blah, blah, blah. But this woman has been very manipulative in me and her daughters relationship in the past because they're abnormally close. Although she has pipped down a bit, I just don't want to create an opening for her to start that with my own daughter cos why would she insist for an all-night? what is wrong with spending time during the day time? what's so special about night time? Is it just to be able to have total control?

Anyway, I go appreciate una feedback and advice well well if anyone here have experienced such before and I don't want to come out looking like I'm overreacting

P.S. By the way, my wife na oyinbo, so I just wanna gather a proper naija perspective on the matter. Thank you in advance!

OP you no get work, I believe your mother in law is passionate in love with her grand child and I see nothing wrong with that if you ask me. I grew up with my grandmother and today I proud of a man I become

Well.. I see nothing wrong with that. Let her babysit for you guys. Have all night fun with your wife.. no biggie..

Mudley313:
Abeg, I need some advice concerning this matter

Me and my wife just quarreled because her mother asked for our only daughter who is two and half to sleep at her place and I said NO because I was not too comfortable with the idea. My wife is an only daughter and the mother is single with no husband or boyfriend. We give her all the time she wants alone with our child but she just seems obsessed with having her alone for a sleepover and my body no catch dat one. Her reason is she wants to bond more and she was very close with her own garandma blah, blah, blah. But this woman has been very manipulative in me and her daughters relationship in the past because they're abnormally close. Although she has pipped down a bit, I just don't want to create an opening for her to start that with my own daughter cos why would she insist for an all-night? what is wrong with spending time during the day time? what's so special about night time? Is it just to be able to have total control?

Anyway, I go appreciate una feedback and advice well well if anyone here have experienced such before and I don't want to come out looking like I'm overreacting

P.S. By the way, my wife na oyinbo, so I just wanna gather a proper naija perspective on the matter. Thank you in advance!

Once you start this, then maintain this same stance as regards sleep over irrespective of the person requesting ur daughter to sleep over even if its your mum. Personally i dont even like the idea of children sleeping over outside the house, the time spent during the day is enough. At 2 - 3 years, she is still too young to be separated from her immediate family except if your wife will sleep over with her. The mum should respect the sanctity of family life. Maybe when shes older like 10 years u can allow it occasionally and for few days.
@OP a solution is to allow ur wife go spend a vacation with her mum and she takes ur daughter along. My wife did it during xmas last year with my 2 years old son for a week because theres no way i will ever allow my son sleep outside my house if his mum is not with him. It can never happen not even with my own mother.

This woman gave birth to your wife, took care of her and make her good enough to be your wife.
so whats the problem with bonding with your child.
Be a man and focus on other things in your marriage.
This is a non-issue.

Mudley313:
Abeg, I need some advice concerning this matter

Me and my wife just quarreled because her mother asked for our only daughter who is two and half to sleep at her place and I said NO because I was not too comfortable with the idea. My wife is an only daughter and the mother is single with no husband or boyfriend. We give her all the time she wants alone with our child but she just seems obsessed with having her alone for a sleepover and my body no catch dat one. Her reason is she wants to bond more and she was very close with her own garandma blah, blah, blah. But this woman has been very manipulative in me and her daughters relationship in the past because they're abnormally close. Although she has pipped down a bit, I just don't want to create an opening for her to start that with my own daughter cos why would she insist for an all-night? what is wrong with spending time during the day time? what's so special about night time? Is it just to be able to have total control?

Anyway, I go appreciate una feedback and advice well well if anyone here have experienced such before and I don't want to come out looking like I'm overreacting

P.S. By the way, my wife na oyinbo, so I just wanna gather a proper naija perspective on the matter. Thank you in advance!

Bro, for me, it's too early not only from what you have observed about her.
Don't allow her to manipulate your daughter at this tender age of forming their characters and behavior.
Even if you will, you should stay with her there.

Mudley313:
Abeg, I need some advice concerning this matter

Me and my wife just quarreled because her mother asked for our only daughter who is two and half to sleep at her place and I said NO because I was not too comfortable with the idea. My wife is an only daughter and the mother is single with no husband or boyfriend. We give her all the time she wants alone with our child but she just seems obsessed with having her alone for a sleepover and my body no catch dat one. Her reason is she wants to bond more and she was very close with her own garandma blah, blah, blah. But this woman has been very manipulative in me and her daughters relationship in the past because they're abnormally close. Although she has pipped down a bit, I just don't want to create an opening for her to start that with my own daughter cos why would she insist for an all-night? what is wrong with spending time during the day time? what's so special about night time? Is it just to be able to have total control?

Anyway, I go appreciate una feedback and advice well well if anyone here have experienced such before and I don't want to come out looking like I'm overreacting

P.S. By the way, my wife na oyinbo, so I just wanna gather a proper naija perspective on the matter. Thank you in advance!

Bros, I understand what you are going through. Stuff like this happens. Naija perspective or not, stick to your guns, but be flexible. You can say the baby is too young to be left alone with the granny. And by the way, she will have enough time with the baby in due course. Ideally, the baby would visit and stay over when she/he gets older. Usually, the day visits and the weekend visits are more than enough.

Be diplomatic, but be firm in a loving way. This wont tear your marriage apart. The baby will visit and sleep over when the time is right. Dont worry about the manipulative aspect. This is your immediate family, and thank God the granny is oyinbo, they understand this perfectly.

WaffenSS:


Don't let them.

Else you'll wake up one day and it's you against 3 females.

GBAM!
The battle for control by females... no be today he start!
As someone said I would have waited till the child is 5/6 years old. Because once a 'bad' software is programmed into the OS, it could be very hard to remove.

It’s good for kids to have a relationship and forge a bond with their grandparents while they are alive and sleep overs are a great way to achieve this. Mummy and Daddy can make gooooood use of this time also.

I see nothing wrong with it as long as the grandmother does not smoke or behave in a way that would make you feel your child is not safe.

Besides, na she born your wife, raise am, sotey you see am, like am, marry am. Abeg, no fear bros.

Gentlevin:
Bro some times a man will have to agree with his wife.....but some times a man has to remain firm to his decision on matters that will affect his family negatively........(If only Adam thought of d negative result eating d fruit would bring, he won't allow d love for his wife, eve to blind him with agreeing wit her....now we are all in dis mess)......

You were making a lot of sense until you brought in Adam and Eve trash!

Well its your call and if you say no to your mother inlaws request then remember to weight it well.
If it were your mum what would be your answer? Have you and your wife discussed this issue and arrived at a common agreement because at the end of the day thats all that matters, evening if you have a gut feeling about it discuss it with your wife.
An issue has little as this can bring up serious issues in the marriage. That's why communication between couples is the answer to all.
All the best
therapistmrs..com

Mudley313:


You got some screws loose or what? Did you not read where the mother in law have full access to the child and its only the sleeping over thingy I'm bothered about?? You say my MIL is not manipulative. Do you know her or do you know me before?? If this woman had her way this my child wouldn't even have been born and you're here knacking teeth on matter you know nothing about. I know i am married to an only child and I have spent all the time in the relationship compromising but sorry, that compromise is not gonna be extending to my daughter. My daughter comes first, not the feelings of some single old lady who can't keep a man to save her life

Mr man, you came seeking advice and when someone gives you their own side of opinion, you start to vibrate like a mad cow that has been let loose. Get a grip... don't come here to share your family issue, if u not open to listen to views....

ivolt:
Is your mother-in-law a pervert that can't be trusted
with children?
If no, why do you object?

Most sensible comment here so far, how can he so negative about his child visiting his mother in law even for one night? the guy should tell us the full story, must be something not ordinary he is worried about.

yinkaellamz:
This woman gave birth to your wife, took care of her and make her good enough to be your wife.
so whats the problem with bonding with your child.
Be a man and focus on other things in your marriage.
This is a non-issue.

GBAM

Abeg make she come take my son for sleep over o. He needs it

I was abt typing this...u spoke my mind abi y did he bring it here when u knew ur mind wad made up

pls if I may ask why don't u want ur daughter to sleep over at granny place. You can't not just not agree like there must be a reason
Follow ur instincts sometimes lyf has taught me that

Mudley313:


My mom actually came to help when the child was first born and there was a lot of clash over house and kitchen rules and we tried our best to respect that so everyone can be happy. My dad was actually an only child also and my mom said the mistake she made was not put her foot down with her own mother in law when she needed to at the beginning until it was too late.

For those saying I'm selfish, me I know what I went through from this manipulative woman before I was able to marry here child and now that a grandchild has solidified our union more she seem to be insecure looking for a way in. This is why I asked, why night? If not for a way of looking for a way to exert back control.

I know what I've been through and my child will not be used as a pun for all that childish manipulative moves. Better to be safe than sorry. She can have her all she want during the day; weekdays or weekends. If that one nor reach, me I nor no wetin to talk put for the matter again

Don't deprive your children of grandmotherly love. In time your daughter would want to spend part of her school holidays with grandma. Days that will remain memorable all her life ( when grandma is no more.)
In Africa your child doesn't belong to only you. And it is selfish to take Away somebody's only daughter ( your wife) and then be so worried about letting a girl ( your daughter) stay overnight at her own grandmother's place.

How safe is her own daughter with you anyway?

Mudley313:
Abeg, I need some advice concerning this matter

Me and my wife just quarreled because her mother asked for our only daughter who is two and half to sleep at her place and I said NO because I was not too comfortable with the idea. My wife is an only daughter and the mother is single with no husband or boyfriend. We give her all the time she wants alone with our child but she just seems obsessed with having her alone for a sleepover and my body no catch dat one. Her reason is she wants to bond more and she was very close with her own garandma blah, blah, blah. But this woman has been very manipulative in me and her daughters relationship in the past because they're abnormally close. Although she has pipped down a bit, I just don't want to create an opening for her to start that with my own daughter cos why would she insist for an all-night? what is wrong with spending time during the day time? what's so special about night time? Is it just to be able to have total control?

Anyway, I go appreciate una feedback and advice well well if anyone here have experienced such before and I don't want to come out looking like I'm overreacting

P.S. By the way, my wife na oyinbo, so I just wanna gather a proper naija perspective on the matter. Thank you in advance!

You deserve hot slap for these hogwash of a story.. You're an unrepentant fool, selfish and egocentric being..She gave birth to your wife and raise her up well and that's why you married her;She wouldn't have ulterior motive towards her grandchild.. People are damn wicked!

Mudley313:
Abeg, I need some advice concerning this matter

Me and my wife just quarreled because her mother asked for our only daughter who is two and half to sleep at her place and I said NO because I was not too comfortable with the idea. My wife is an only daughter and the mother is single with no husband or boyfriend. We give her all the time she wants alone with our child but she just seems obsessed with having her alone for a sleepover and my body no catch dat one. Her reason is she wants to bond more and she was very close with her own garandma blah, blah, blah. But this woman has been very manipulative in me and her daughters relationship in the past because they're abnormally close. Although she has pipped down a bit, I just don't want to create an opening for her to start that with my own daughter cos why would she insist for an all-night? what is wrong with spending time during the day time? what's so special about night time? Is it just to be able to have total control?

Anyway, I go appreciate una feedback and advice well well if anyone here have experienced such before and I don't want to come out looking like I'm overreacting

P.S. By the way, my wife na oyinbo, so I just wanna gather a proper naija perspective on the matter. Thank you in advance!

This is a tough call. I understand this kind of concern. If it is an option, I will suggest you have your wife go along with your child. I hope that can make a difference.

If you can't trust your own mother inlaw with your child, then, I wonder what you are really doing in that marriage.

cococandy:
So your child will never spend the night at her grandma’s house. How sad.
It’s the highlight of every kid’s childhood.

Not in all situations, my dear; especially down here. I've seen some shit that nobody wld ever believe, cos they all think she is cool. My dear, that one night can be the beginning of an irreversible twist in a child's life. I'm not referring to this kid in particular but I'm just saying "highlights" of such ain't always so. U never see raw wickedness that wld chill ur blood and I pray u don't ever see such, cos it wld permanently scar ur mind and probably drive u insane in many ways.