fatima04:


You can also start before the ADR, infact sponsors are a lot for such jobs and like someone advised, please make friends. It will help you greatly.

BTW I believe UKVI might even have issues with renewing the visa with one parent because of consent letter and custody issues. So if shits hit the fan, all of you may end back in naija if care is not taken as you also have equal power over the kids.

I will rather sign the consent letter and go back to Naija than seeing those innocent kids go back.

I understand ur statement, but doing eye for an eye will not be good for her, myself and the kids.

Nevertheless, I wil first consult my agency if they can give me sponsorship asI have being having a lot of appraiser from them. Just on Thursday they insisted on paying me bonus even when I said they should not worry because the guy that suppose to take over did not come in time making me missed 2 train.

It will end in praise

Chukwuka16:


Bro, I’m sincerely pained with your personal problems but more pained that you brought it on this platform. This is a public platform where we come to catch cruise and of course from time-to-time express ideas/suggestions on sundry issues. This is not the platform to discuss your marital issues - your marriage deserves its privacy and respect.

Marriage is a very sacred institution and irrespective of the happenings, this is the very wrong platform to either express your situation or seek for advice for such problems as peculiar to you and your spouse. You are an adult and MUST have a network of people around you including clerics and family who should be the circle within which your discussions about your issues should reside with. You didn’t marry out of the blues and neither have you lived with your spouse without a support network – leverage this.

There are no marriages without problems but if we all come on this platform or other public platforms airing our situations, we make mockery of this very pivotal institution and show we are incapable of handling or managing situations. You are a manager of a woman and two kids and that’s your cross – not mine or anyone else here on this platform. You must take that cross and carry it ALONE and carry it well. You must do ALL it takes to make it RIGHT.

I sincerely wish you the best in your marriage but hey MAN UP. What advice do you expect from us who aren’t in your peculiar shoes or concerned parties? If you need advice on visa routes or professional advice (lawyer for instance) that’s fine to ask here, but please respect that institution, your wife, and kids. Give them that privacy please.

God bless.

I understand bro, but at times problem talked out is half solved irrespective of the opinions given.

It's left for me to seive and take what benefits me.

I must tell u that everybody here have given a sound and matured answer to my problem.

I will cross the bridge it's just a matter of time.

Chukwuka16:


Bro, I’m sincerely pained with your personal problems but more pained that you brought it on this platform. This is a public platform where we come to catch cruise and of course from time-to-time express ideas/suggestions on sundry issues. This is not the platform to discuss your marital issues - your marriage deserves its privacy and respect.

Marriage is a very sacred institution and irrespective of the happenings, this is the very wrong platform to either express your situation or seek for advice for such problems as peculiar to you and your spouse. You are an adult and MUST have a network of people around you including clerics and family who should be the circle within which your discussions about your issues should reside with. You didn’t marry out of the blues and neither have you lived with your spouse without a support network – leverage this.

There are no marriages without problems but if we all come on this platform or other public platforms airing our situations, we make mockery of this very pivotal institution and show we are incapable of handling or managing situations. You are a manager of a woman and two kids and that’s your cross – not mine or anyone else here on this platform. You must take that cross and carry it ALONE and carry it well. You must do ALL it takes to make it RIGHT.

I sincerely wish you the best in your marriage but hey MAN UP. What advice do you expect from us who aren’t in your peculiar shoes or concerned parties? If you need advice on visa routes or professional advice (lawyer for instance) that’s fine to ask here, but please respect that institution, your wife, and kids. Give them that privacy please.

God bless.

I disagree with this submission. Yes, maintain your privacy but there is nothing wrong in seeking advice here. Sometimes the angle from which some people approach issues here, you cannot find online or from your immediate circle of friends. He hasn't done wrong, in my opinion.

dustydee:

I disagree with this submission. Yes, maintain your privacy but there is nothing wrong in seeking advice here. Sometimes the angle from which some people approach issues here, you cannot find online or from your immediate circle of friends. He hasn't done wrong, in my opinion.

I totally agree with your position........ Why seek opinions from a few known (that might probably be economical with the truth)......


When you have multitude of plenty unknowns, that you would probably never see physically..... That would be honest with you, express weird opinions and some will catch cruise with your matter........

The decision, is now finally yours to pick and dump.......

I also do not see anything wrong in seeking help here. Especially for the fact that it's a nameless forum, we can't put a name or a face to the real person behind the moniker.

This same issue can cause anyone to be depressed or mentally unbalanced and if situations get out of hand, we would have said 'hey you could have spoken to me, sent a chat here, you will get the right advice' why did he have to go that length.

Do you still need it? Kindly send a DM if you do

Susom:
Please I need pounds urgently @omopapa, @lexusgs430, anyone?

Chukwuka16:


Bro, I’m sincerely pained with your personal problems but more pained that you brought it on this platform. This is a public platform where we come to catch cruise and of course from time-to-time express ideas/suggestions on sundry issues. This is not the platform to discuss your marital issues - your marriage deserves its privacy and respect.

Marriage is a very sacred institution and irrespective of the happenings, this is the very wrong platform to either express your situation or seek for advice for such problems as peculiar to you and your spouse. You are an adult and MUST have a network of people around you including clerics and family who should be the circle within which your discussions about your issues should reside with. You didn’t marry out of the blues and neither have you lived with your spouse without a support network – leverage this.

There are no marriages without problems but if we all come on this platform or other public platforms airing our situations, we make mockery of this very pivotal institution and show we are incapable of handling or managing situations. You are a manager of a woman and two kids and that’s your cross – not mine or anyone else here on this platform. You must take that cross and carry it ALONE and carry it well. You must do ALL it takes to make it RIGHT.

I sincerely wish you the best in your marriage but hey MAN UP. What advice do you expect from us who aren’t in your peculiar shoes or concerned parties? If you need advice on visa routes or professional advice (lawyer for instance) that’s fine to ask here, but please respect that institution, your wife, and kids. Give them that privacy please.


God bless.

There is nothing wrong in discussing his marital issues here and he has even gotten useful advice as to things to do.

Chukwuka16:


Bro, I’m sincerely pained with your personal problems but more pained that you brought it on this platform. This is a public platform where we come to catch cruise and of course from time-to-time express ideas/suggestions on sundry issues. This is not the platform to discuss your marital issues - your marriage deserves its privacy and respect.

Marriage is a very sacred institution and irrespective of the happenings, this is the very wrong platform to either express your situation or seek for advice for such problems as peculiar to you and your spouse. You are an adult and MUST have a network of people around you including clerics and family who should be the circle within which your discussions about your issues should reside with. You didn’t marry out of the blues and neither have you lived with your spouse without a support network – leverage this.

There are no marriages without problems but if we all come on this platform or other public platforms airing our situations, we make mockery of this very pivotal institution and show we are incapable of handling or managing situations. You are a manager of a woman and two kids and that’s your cross – not mine or anyone else here on this platform. You must take that cross and carry it ALONE and carry it well. You must do ALL it takes to make it RIGHT.

I sincerely wish you the best in your marriage but hey MAN UP. What advice do you expect from us who aren’t in your peculiar shoes or concerned parties? If you need advice on visa routes or professional advice (lawyer for instance) that’s fine to ask here, but please respect that institution, your wife, and kids. Give them that privacy please.

God bless.

Imagine....

So that depression can set in?

Marriage is no longer a sacred institution; we all know that by now... It is a risky venture and breaking up and moving on is not the end of the world. I dont even blame the woman because no one should stay in an unhappy marriage - it builds too much resentment that makes things more difficult in future.

Firstly, this gentleman arrived in the country not so long ago and he arrived during the pandemic. How easy would it have been for him to make friends and how do adults go about making friends in an environment full of vultures? You might say Church (the usual answer) - not everyone is into that sort of thing.

Secondly, this is an an anonymous forum... Yes, the comments vary and most will not be appropriate and some disrespectful to the OP or that so-called sacred institution, however, there are also some golden nuggets for the person that has what it takes to filter out the useless comments. There is also a lot for some others to learn from.

I think in this case, the OP wanted advice about his other choices if his spouse refused to help him renew his VISA. The real marital issues were raised based on the many comments coming from contributors - i felt he was reluctant to go into details - in fact, he said so in his original post - he has not been disrespectful to his wife or institution of marriage.

This forum is actually the best place for him because his issues are unique. He is no longer in Nigeria with all the support systems; a lot of people on the forum will have better experience of the issues than his family members in or sheltered friends (if any) in the UK. From the response he got here, you can easily see why talking to friends and family can be a waste of time...

So it appears the wife got a job in the UK (health sector, maybe) and he has come along. Who knows, he might have had a higher status or better job than his wife in Nigeria but roles have reversed to some extent and she is the one with the papers and he is a dependant; and there are children involved (the kids must have been born in Nigeria... He has said, he has not cheated and he is now even maintaining channels of communication with his missus and that the main issues have origins to whatever might have happened in Nigeria and now carried over.

I personally think the OP has done well to come here because he is more or less alone in the country and his own future is at stake - the marriage and family is one thing but he cannot do much without being solid himself. Good luck to him.

* My sibling was also kicked out and I did not get involved because I did not marry his wife and whatever has gone on, is between the two of them. I have not openly blamed his wife but clearly not the type I will hook up with and those omo-eko behaviour does nothing for me. He saw and married her ( I was already abroad) and even brought her abroad. In my view, he has married someone who is not like us as a family - someone a bit more street-wise than himself...

She too was hiding things (OP talked about not being on the bills and some said it does not matter... Maybe not, but he also intimated that she is hiding other things - perhaps not just the kids savings (I dont think that is a big deal in itself). Anyway, long story short, they are separated and nothing changed even with Pastors and family members involved, family friends, elders who is abroad and Nja. * She chose to be a single parent because of financial independence knowing that she will continue to receive money from the husband and she can be in full control of the children; letting him see them from time to time... And also playing silly happy families when they have events - taking pictures and posting on facebook and hanging on to the man, so that he does not move on...

Chukwuka16:


Bro, I’m sincerely pained with your personal problems but more pained that you brought it on this platform. This is a public platform where we come to catch cruise and of course from time-to-time express ideas/suggestions on sundry issues. This is not the platform to discuss your marital issues - your marriage deserves its privacy and respect.

Marriage is a very sacred institution and irrespective of the happenings, this is the very wrong platform to either express your situation or seek for advice for such problems as peculiar to you and your spouse. You are an adult and MUST have a network of people around you including clerics and family who should be the circle within which your discussions about your issues should reside with. You didn’t marry out of the blues and neither have you lived with your spouse without a support network – leverage this.

There are no marriages without problems but if we all come on this platform or other public platforms airing our situations, we make mockery of this very pivotal institution and show we are incapable of handling or managing situations. You are a manager of a woman and two kids and that’s your cross – not mine or anyone else here on this platform. You must take that cross and carry it ALONE and carry it well. You must do ALL it takes to make it RIGHT.

I sincerely wish you the best in your marriage but hey MAN UP. What advice do you expect from us who aren’t in your peculiar shoes or concerned parties? If you need advice on visa routes or professional advice (lawyer for instance) that’s fine to ask here, but please respect that institution, your wife, and kids. Give them that privacy please.

God bless.

Somebody's house is on fire and you are talking of privacy
Incredible!

This platform is not a cruise catching platform for more than 90% of the people who frequent here including yours truly cos majority of us would have been lost without this place including viewers.
Park one side biko.
Moralistic Nigerians
Mtcheeew

descarado:

Somebody's house is on fire and you are talking of privacy
Incredible!

This platform is not a cruise catching platform for more than 90% of the people who frequent here including yours truly cos majority of us would have been lost without this place including viewers.
Park one side biko.
Moralistic Nigerians
Mtcheeew

I salute you! I forgot to mention that the forum is more than just a play thing... It is a unique one for those already in the country and those intending to arrive - a minefield of useful info and yes, of course, frivolities...

.

@lightest asked a question. He asked why A WOMAN WOULD not put HER SPOUSE’S name on the lease and a couple more things. I only said PERSONALLY I would not put my husband on my lease if he wasn’t financially responsible.
How you deduced from my post that I insinuated his wife kicked him out for financial irresponsibility is a mystery.
That was why I put a disclaimer there.

justwise:


Another strange post…so how did you arrive at the conclusion that his wife kicked him out because he is financially irresponsible ?

You can take whatever you wish from what I said, that’s entirely up to you. I said what I said.
[quote author=tushqueen post=104766606][/quote]

Im sorry if you feel I insulted you. Sincerely it wasn’t my intention. That wasn’t the message I was trying to pass across.

lightest:


Well u don't know me and if u must be told I work 66hrs with 6hrs unpaid break in a week and I pay what she ask me to pay as bill and apart from that I spent extra £s every month.

Anyway, thanks for the advise and the polite insult.

It's well appreciated

I want to jakpa

Owlette:
@lightest asked a question. He asked why A WOMAN WOULD not put HER SPOUSE’S name on the lease and a couple more things. I only said PERSONALLY I would not put my husband on my lease if he wasn’t financially responsible.
How you deduced from my post that I insinuated his wife kicked him out for financial irresponsibility is a mystery.
That was why I put a disclaimer there.

He personally asked his wife to add him to the bills. that doesn't sound like someone who is financially irresponsible. Actually the opposite is the case here.

He also stated that he do send money directly to his wife's account as his own contribution

descarado:

Somebody's house is on fire and you are talking of privacy
Incredible!

This platform is not a cruise catching platform for more than 90% of the people who frequent here including yours truly cos majority of us would have been lost without this place including viewers.
Park one side biko.
Moralistic Nigerians
Mtcheeew

Mr Chukwuemeka is one person i respect on this forum and always looking forward for is nuggets, but this comment he made was out of it

Owlette:
@lightest asked a question. He asked why A WOMAN WOULD not put HER SPOUSE’S name on the lease and a couple more things. I only said PERSONALLY I would not put my husband on my lease if he wasn’t financially responsible.
How you deduced from my post that I insinuated his wife kicked him out for financial irresponsibility is a mystery.
That was why I put a disclaimer there.

Let me drop a slight curveball........ Let's assume your mention of lease is on a mortgage........


His name absent on the mortgage, plays no role...... If the union collapses, and you seek a divorce..........

That family home, would be shared 50%/50% (this would be the starting point)...... Both of you can now carry your matter to a judge........

If it's in terms of other bills, it's nicer to have joint names on the rental agreement and other bills........ If all this bills are solely in your name, when a default happens....... Nah only you den go chase with bailiffs, dash CCJ and all the matter dey your head......

Chukwuka16:


Bro, I’m sincerely pained with your personal problems but more pained that you brought it on this platform. This is a public platform where we come to catch cruise and of course from time-to-time express ideas/suggestions on sundry issues. This is not the platform to discuss your marital issues - your marriage deserves its privacy and respect.

Marriage is a very sacred institution and irrespective of the happenings, this is the very wrong platform to either express your situation or seek for advice for such problems as peculiar to you and your spouse. You are an adult and MUST have a network of people around you including clerics and family who should be the circle within which your discussions about your issues should reside with. You didn’t marry out of the blues and neither have you lived with your spouse without a support network – leverage this.

There are no marriages without problems but if we all come on this platform or other public platforms airing our situations, we make mockery of this very pivotal institution and show we are incapable of handling or managing situations. You are a manager of a woman and two kids and that’s your cross – not mine or anyone else here on this platform. You must take that cross and carry it ALONE and carry it well. You must do ALL it takes to make it RIGHT.

I sincerely wish you the best in your marriage but hey MAN UP. What advice do you expect from us who aren’t in your peculiar shoes or concerned parties? If you need advice on visa routes or professional advice (lawyer for instance) that’s fine to ask here, but please respect that institution, your wife, and kids. Give them that privacy please.

God bless.

Why suffer in silence.... when information is everything. Some thing you can't find on Google but an open discussion brings out some key information

His privacy is also well protected,so is yours. Mine and others do you know my name, my spouse name, my kids name or where I live..... all someone can make out is a username and some previous post.... I for one don't know Justwise real name self

LagosismyHome:


Why suffer in silence.... when information is everything. Some thing you can't find on Google but an open discussion brings out some key information

His privacy is also well protected,so is yours. Mine and others do you know my name, my spouse name, my kids name or where I live..... all someone can make out is a username and some previous post.... I for one don't know Justwise real name self

Justwise....... Come answer ó...... We know seun, is Seun Osewa.....

Who exactly is Justwise.........

Lexusgs430:
[/b]


Justwise....... Come answer ó...... We know seun, is Seun Osewa.....

Who exactly is Justwise.........

Maybe we form our FBI team.... unveiling of Justwise but that would be proper joblessness and Just_not_wise

Lexusgs430:
[/b]


Justwise....... Come answer ó...... We know seun, is Seun Osewa.....

Who exactly is Justwise.........

That is a very tough question, giving you my address, bank details and phone number will be a lot easier

Dharmzy370:
Mr Chukwuemeka is one person i respect on this forum and always looking forward for is nuggets, but this comment he made was out of it

All those efficos in your class that year, how many of them were street smart or really intelligent besides “knowing book”?

I completely agree with you but I believe you would also agree with me a little bit on my own point as well assuming we do not have a mortgage on the property and I’m sure I will personally not default on my bill payment.
However thanks for the insight.

Lexusgs430:



Let me drop a slight curveball........ Let's assume your mention of lease is on a mortgage........


His name absent on the mortgage, plays no role...... If the union collapses, and you seek a divorce..........

That family home, would be shared 50%/50% (this would be the starting point)...... Both of you can now carry your matter to a judge........

If it's in terms of other bills, it's nicer to have joint names on the rental agreement and other bills........ If all this bills are solely in your name, when a default happens....... Nah only you den go chase with bailiffs, dash CCJ and all the matter dey your head......

Exactly. That was why I said I wasn’t saying he was financially irresponsible. I really do not know why my message was actually read out of context. Maybe it was the message delivery but let’s move on from that.

justwise:


He personally asked his wife to add him to the bills. that doesn't sound like someone who is financially irresponsible. Actually the opposite is the case here.

He also stated that he do send money directly to his wife's account as his own contribution

Owlette:
I completely agree with you but I believe you would also agree with me a little bit on my own point as well assuming we do not have a mortgage on the property and I’m sure I will personally not default on my bill payment.
However thanks for the insight.

I completely agree with you, assuming you completely agree with me, of which I believe we are completely in agreement.......

justwise:
[/b]

That is a very tough question, giving you my address, bank details and phone number will be a lot easier

The 16 digits + CV. V & Expiry date, would do just nicely....

LagosismyHome:


Maybe we form our FBI team.... unveiling of Justwise but that would be proper joblessness and Just_not_wise

If Abba the tailor could be unraveled.... Never say Never.......

rabola1:
Good day my people, please how do I get a 2 bed room accommodation (family of 4) in Portsmouth. Thanks.

Hi, will be going to portsmouth too. Family of 3.
Although we are booking airbnb for the first 2weeks. Still open to options of getting a 2bdr apartment, especially around P01.
Can we link up please?

Good day house and all the gurus.. please I need enlightenment on this issue... I am currently in Nigeria and hoping to relocate to the UK God's willing next year.. I came across a youtube channel on study and work abroad wherein I contacted the owner and the he told me its possible to take masters in SOCIAL WORK as it has lots of opportunities or the PRE REGISTRATION MASTERS in Nursing programme with specialtyin mental health and after which I can get a job very easily even when my first degree is not in nursing... I currently have a BSC in mechanical engineering... how feasible is this considering I will be switching field and I starting a new career in a country I've never had any form of experience...... what are the factors to consider, school to apply,cost of programme and building professional work experience if I intend to go through this path.. I need advice as well as suggestions... GURUS IN D HOUSE, DOCTORS, NURSES.. your inestimable response is highly very needed...
Thanks in anticipation

Rhitar19:


Hello. Please I have a question. What if you are mandated by your university to own a car for your placement (social work student), what would you suggest or advice such a person?

Did you just get into the UK recently for studies?
What school?
I really don't have an answer to your question but need clarity myself

Did you go on scholarship?