Prudent200:
please what does kokan Aye mean?

tosyne2much:
[i] I'm coming back

udemzy101:


Oga na only you understand wetin you post oo, haba which one is f, yo, boy boy yo

FRANKOSKI:
SHE LEFT ME AND MARRIED ONE GUY IN OUR NEIGHBORING VILLAGE. THEY DIVORCED COZ SHE WAS CAUGHT CHEATING .I MARRIED HER BEST FRIEND WHEN IVE MADE IT.

sweetilicious:
Matured people don't revenge

telim:
The best way to revenge is to control + Del the person from your mind and work hard to be successful in life.
Also 2019 is taken like forever to show up, the evil party "APC" might have conspired with the devil to slow down Nigerian time.

dingbang:
I love this

udemzy101:


My eyes sharp pass your own naa, I read am from beginning to the end but na half I understand.

biacan:
This are the kind of things you always love

dingbang:
yes nau if u fvckup now , na the same treatment I go give you.. So behave

biacan:
You go dey talk like say u nor dey wrong person

dingbang:
I don't cheat

Amirullaha:
������My girlfriend called me on phone and said: "Hello honey, you know I love you so much, I have been looking for a way to prove more of my love for you.
Please Baby I want you to come to my house for a lunch with your friends.
I asked her, " When?"
She replied, "Any day you will be chanced."
I said okay and the date was fixed.
I started informing my friends about it and they all agreed to go with me, some suspended what they would have done just to follow me to her house as demanded.
On the D-Day, I and my friends were set to leave and I called her,
"Baby we are on the way to your house", and she replied, "Oh baby I can't wait to see you guys".
When we got close to her house, I called her again to let her know that we are close to her house, she replied: "Baby are you serious?"
And suddenly burst into laugh, "Hahahahahaha, I was only joking o, you know how we normally joke naa."
I was embarrassed but I pretended and ended the call. I asked my friends to know if they heard my conversation with her but they didn't, so I told them that she asked us to wait at the hotel that she will soon join us soon.
We left for the hotel and I ordered for their needs. Shortly I picked up my phone and shouted: "WHAT?
Guys we need to leave here now, I just received information now that Boko Haram are on their way to this place" and we all left the Hotel.
None of my Friends knew what happened because it would have been so shameful.
IT'S NOW MY TURN TO JOKE...
A week later, I called her, "Baby I just received a letter from my Village that I should come home for my Chieftaincy Title and they said I should not come without taking a wife.
You know you are the only one I have so I want to inform your parents and they should fix a date for our introduction and it should be next week because we need to leave for the village before this month runs out".
She was so happy and she informed her parents just as I ordered.
They started preparing and everything was in order, they bought a lot of foods, rented canopies and chairs, they paid for a live band, they killed a big cow.
Aso ebi was not left out, they invited all their family members from the village all because she was the only daughter.
All their church members was also on ground.
On the fixed date I was in the bar when my phone rang, she was the one calling, "Baby where are you?"
I replied: "We are close to your house", she happily said, "Okay."
After a while she called back to know where I was again, "Baby where are you?"
Then I replied: "Baby are you serious you believed what I told you? Hehehehe I was only joking ooooooooo, You know how we used to joke na".
......... That was how the fight started.
I learnt she was admitted into the hospital and was on oxygen for a week before she was discharged.
Now she has broken up with me, saying i'm wicked.
PLEASE AM I WICKED ?
But we are both joking now!
Payback is sweet...

boolet:
It was a funny instant one. When I just got to New York some years back, I didn't know my way around so I decided to ask for help from a worker at the subway.

Me: Please where is the platform for trains going to Manhattan(with my heavy accent)

Her: You mean Manhattan (mn̩hætn̩)?

Her attitude was mad, she pointed to the platform with unconcern and walked away. I took out my pen and wrote Adámásingbà on a piece of paper and approached her like the naive African boy looking for directions.

Me: Could you please pronounce this for me?

Her: Ather-...(jaw drops)

Me: Don't stress, that is Yoruba (chuckle and walk away)

biacan:
Dingbang don't lie now

dingbang:
I'm serious.. Or do you want me to cheat?

daewoorazer:





U still in the Empire State?

boolet:
Yessir

Amirullaha:
������My girlfriend called me on phone and said: "Hello honey, you know I love you so much, I have been looking for a way to prove more of my love for you.
Please Baby I want you to come to my house for a lunch with your friends.
I asked her, " When?"
She replied, "Any day you will be chanced."
I said okay and the date was fixed.
I started informing my friends about it and they all agreed to go with me, some suspended what they would have done just to follow me to her house as demanded.
On the D-Day, I and my friends were set to leave and I called her,
"Baby we are on the way to your house", and she replied, "Oh baby I can't wait to see you guys".
When we got close to her house, I called her again to let her know that we are close to her house, she replied: "Baby are you serious?"
And suddenly burst into laugh, "Hahahahahaha, I was only joking o, you know how we normally joke naa."
I was embarrassed but I pretended and ended the call. I asked my friends to know if they heard my conversation with her but they didn't, so I told them that she asked us to wait at the hotel that she will soon join us soon.
We left for the hotel and I ordered for their needs. Shortly I picked up my phone and shouted: "WHAT?
Guys we need to leave here now, I just received information now that Boko Haram are on their way to this place" and we all left the Hotel.
None of my Friends knew what happened because it would have been so shameful.
IT'S NOW MY TURN TO JOKE...
A week later, I called her, "Baby I just received a letter from my Village that I should come home for my Chieftaincy Title and they said I should not come without taking a wife.
You know you are the only one I have so I want to inform your parents and they should fix a date for our introduction and it should be next week because we need to leave for the village before this month runs out".
She was so happy and she informed her parents just as I ordered.
They started preparing and everything was in order, they bought a lot of foods, rented canopies and chairs, they paid for a live band, they killed a big cow.
Aso ebi was not left out, they invited all their family members from the village all because she was the only daughter.
All their church members was also on ground.
On the fixed date I was in the bar when my phone rang, she was the one calling, "Baby where are you?"
I replied: "We are close to your house", she happily said, "Okay."
After a while she called back to know where I was again, "Baby where are you?"
Then I replied: "Baby are you serious you believed what I told you? Hehehehe I was only joking ooooooooo, You know how we used to joke na".
......... That was how the fight started.
I learnt she was admitted into the hospital and was on oxygen for a week before she was discharged.
Now she has broken up with me, saying i'm wicked.
PLEASE AM I WICKED ?
But we are both joking now!
Payback is sweet...

smokedfish:
There was this girl..met her in a group chat,asked her out and you guys know the rest...

Fast forward after givin her all the necessary attention and care including getting her personal stuffs. Name it..ladies know it including a job...she was comfortable..this was sumone that was selling potatoes by the road side and hid it from me until i found out n decided to get something better for her because it was complains upon complains..
Got her a decent job with a secondary school cert..a job that pays more than those wit certs...

Then all of a sudden,the gal now has an xcuse telling me i didn't care enof and i hardly give her attention and dnt hv her tym...

Am cool .. very cool..bout it

Then i begged n begged of which i had my plan in ma mind...after she now changed her mind and was now telling me she is dating another guy (a kid that can hardly feed himself)..told her no problem

She came and spent d nyt..after all d nyt waka,woke up 6 in the morning and told her to pack her tins n get out...she was now lafin tinkin i was jokin..told her to stand up n pack her self outta of ma place...of wich she did cryn...i didnt care...


It didnt stop dia
The boy now got my number and was forming a friend with me on watsapp...called a friend of mine and arranged with her...now the guy in particular is a boy boy to d gal i set him up with...

I really wanted to say 'Praise d lord'
Buh shii
..d feeling is perfect...even d job now,d oga said she has attitude n he was standing her cz f me buh since we nt togeda,he is goin to fire her....

And me,since i never cared,i told him its his business n he is free to do wt pleases him

PS:i never cared...not that i am wicked though

biacan:
Nop I don't

But can't you forgive someone that wrong you

daewoorazer:




Im in queens....how u doing

Ola17:
You sound like a sore loser man, so how did you pay her back by lavishing time and resources on another lady, in another man's business (Shop.Rité).

I sure say you no even see d second girl kongo shine.

IamSINZ:
I got rich, then took it upon myself to disturb her on Facebook

Ishilove:

I mean, of what use is it? The best payback is moving on and being happy

laivwire:
Yeah, we all know karma is a b***h but sometimes we like to handle shit ourselves.

I'll shoot first. There was this lady I tried running her package sometime ago. Slightly endowed behind but face was just there. She was kind of quiet too. She worked a small a detailed at shoprite (that wasn't where i met her though but I need to state it).

Long story short this girl showed me fire. I wasn't a sucker at this game but this girl was trying to play with my senses. She has a boyfriend, she'll take me as a friend bla bla.She can't date me but wanted to spend my money. Talk of friendzoning.

The final straw came after she repeated this deed a third time. We planned on hanging out that evening and after driving over 30km from my place to pick her at work, she hops in and say she she's tired, I should drive her home. Her home was just about 2km away from Shoprite. I was mad and I didn't call again but my mind wanted revenge.

*who the hell does she think she's is anyway

So about 3 weeks later, I called up a friend, big massively endowed and curvy girl who wanted something serious but I wasn't down. We hooked up and went shopping, where else If not shoprite.

All eyes were on usher. We packed the trolley full and madam was all over me. Lol. I saved the Personal healthcare aisle for last. Didn't take long before I sighted the ugly biatch, walking up and down and sweating and dancing like popcorn in frying pan.

I looked in her general direction but I acted like I didn't see her. I only looked over her head like Shebs no dey dere. I could see defeat in her eyes.

We checked out and that was it.

Share your stories guys?