Bless you! Correct! Said it all!

linearity:
There is nothing like church marriage or wedding in the Bible. Marriage is traditional, once you seek the parents consent, then have performed the necessary obligations and they give her to you, she becomes your wife.

Court and church wedding are optional depending on your mileage. The laws recognize traditional marriage only that, it does not have strong protections as statutory marriage.

Most church weddings are statutory in nature, since the minister must get a license from the government to officiate and they either pass on to you the marriage certificate from the government or file evidence of the marriage on your before before the government, who will then turn around and issue a certificate to you.

Each culture or locality have their own traditional marriage ‘certificate’ system. In my village, the office of the king gives the man a receipt as evidence of the marriage after the payment of a token. Down the road if the marriage unravels and the parties want to go their separate ways, the woman returns the token (I think it is N1k or N2k) to the king’s palace and a message will be sent to the guy to come pick it up. Regardless if the guy shows or not, the lady is free and the kings records will be updated to reflect the return money.

Note:
The money token was very high before and people started complaining, because ladies who would have otherwise left the marriage due to abuse and maltreatment, were finding it difficult to source the money, some even met their unfortunate end while trying...so it was reduced to make the exit easy if one wishes.

You're married once the parents hand over the lady to you.

Whatever they take from you is optional, what matters is their approval.


Everything else na decorations!

Akolawole:
The keyword here is Christianity.

In that case, culture is put in the bin. I meant a complete NO NO. Be you a Ghanaian or Ivorian.

We cannot have one leg in Christ and the other legal in culture.

Are you insinuating that African culture is evil?? Even Jesus as a Jewish man never despised Jewish culture, he practiced it but here you are despising your African culture and practicing the white man's culture Cos you have been brainwashed by your colonial masters to believe your culture is evil. It's a pity

jossypet:


For the question u asked I'd say YES as long as u're a member. If not OK by u, then leave or change. As long as u're there u should obey. Even the bible recognizes the governing authority of the land, how much more the church.
In the case of one's personal opinion which is not out of place, it can be lodged to appropriate authority of the church. There's nothing wrong in having an observation. But until the church authority acts otherwise, u'd be going against Jesus (who owns and established the church) if u disobey. Like I said before. Be wise

It's people like you that make Church business very lucrative. In the nearest future, when I open my church, I pray I see more of your kind and less of mine. People who think the authority of the pastor to be unquestionable. So I can ride exotic cars and jets..

tete7000:



And you that know history, clap for yourself. The last time I checked, I am entitled to my opinion. I am not interested in putting the traditional marriage before the church's marriage. Problem with people like you, is you see everything from a rebellion point of view. Every organisation has its code of conduct, no one forces you to be member of the Church. If you chose to join the Church and they tell you it's a must you wed in the church for your marriage to be valid, you do so or quit. Whose business is it if you are traditionalist and chose to do only traditional wedding. Ignorant you talking about people not learning history. I am a Christian by choice and believe in the supremacy of Christian faith over traditional values when they conflict. You can't understand, so stay in your corner and ignore me. People could have as well retain their traditional religion and all this senseless argument won't be necessary. Why convert to Christianity, only to come around challenging Church's authority.

The last line.. I am not challenging the Church's authority. I'm more concerned on what right people have to say the White man's mode of marriage reigns supreme. In case you don't know, the whole "white wedding" thing is traditional, not religious. The Priest only commits it to God's hands, which is the equivalent of a pastor or a priest coming to pray for a couple at their traditional marriage. Like I said, I won't blame you because you know nothing about history. If we were to follow the white man's way to the letter, not every bride would wear white. Some would go as far as wearing brown. Whites were only meant for virgins. Every bride in Nigeria today wears white, how many are Virgins? How many would have the temerity to wear an off white color so the whole world can know her state of chastity?!

The way you make traditional marriage sound so abominable. No one is saying anyone should bless a marriage with the name of Ogun or Sango or any other deity. No. The contention is every sane African man should be content with doing marriage in the house of the girl's parent and/or a court of law. Those were the only processes recognized in the Bible (both old and new testament) and was the practice of most countries till around 11-15th century AD. So would you rather follow something ingrained in the Bible or a practice developed by man?

As far as statistics is concerned, marriages contracted either in the court or traditionally lasts longer than those done in the church in the African society. So much for white wedding.

Do the wedding in the house of the girl's parents and get a pastor to bless the union. It is sane. It is original. It is valid. It is cost effective. It is less problematic. It is African.

The day the African man begins to think for himself and develop policies the African way, that is the day we begin to grow.

shadeyinka:


You didn't seem to get me. I said if traditional wedding is your FINAL wedding rite, you are free to have sex but if it isn't then you are preforming acts of fornication.

God recognized all forms of marriage including Civil (court) marriage, Traditional wedding, Religious weddings (mosque or church or Hindu or Buddha).

My problem is with Christians who know that Church wedding is their final wedding rite yet begin to sleep together after their traditional "wedding/engagement". Can one be married twice?

If Banky and Adesua plan another marriage for Jan 1, 2018 are they not making caricature of marriage for we all know that they are already married in SA.

For all who desires to have a church wedding as their final wedding rite, every thing they do prior to that are just PRELUDES and necessary rites before their final wedding.

Finally, if traditional wedding is your final wedding rite and you still want the church involved, ask for church blessing and not church wedding for you have been traditionally wedded

Now I get your point.

HeyCorleone:



The last line.. I am not challenging the Church's authority. I'm more concerned on what right people have to say the White man's mode of marriage reigns supreme. In case you don't know, the whole "white wedding" thing is traditional, not religious. The Priest only commits it to God's hands, which is the equivalent of a pastor or a priest coming to pray for a couple at their traditional marriage. Like I said, I won't blame you because you know nothing about history. If we were to follow the white man's way to the letter, not every bride would wear white. Some would go as far as wearing brown. Whites were only meant for virgins. Every bride in Nigeria today wears white, how many are Virgins? How many would have the temerity to wear an off white color so the whole world can know her state of chastity?!

The way you make traditional marriage sound so abominable. No one is saying anyone should bless a marriage with the name of Ogun or Sango or any other deity. No. The contention is every sane African man should be content with doing marriage in the house of the girl's parent and/or a court of law. Those were the only processes recognized in the Bible (both old and new testament) and was the practice of most countries till around 11-15th century AD. So would you rather follow something ingrained in the Bible or a practice developed by man?

As far as statistics is concerned, marriages contracted either in the court or traditionally lasts longer than those done in the church in the African society. So much for white wedding.

Do the wedding in the house of the girl's parents and get a pastor to bless the union. It is sane. It is original. It is valid. It is cost effective. It is less problematic. It is African.

The day the African man begins to think for himself and develop policies the African way, that is the day we begin to grow.

No where there did you see me say white wedding. You added that to it because you are obsessed with that. I have always referred to church marriage. A situation whereby people come before the altar of God. (Not priest, please note) to make their intention to live together for better for worse, till death do both part. In this arrangement, no room for polygamy, no room for divorce. Other types of marriage don't carry this condition and as such are not the same with it. Christianity is a community of person who have chosen to renounce their former ways of life and live according to the dictates and teaching of Christ. They are taken from the world but no longer of the world. If not to satisfy all righteousness, they won't even bother doing traditional marriage. Their vows before their God is what is more important, not one before a court or some traditional elders. St. Paul even admonished Christians to desist from settling their case before a civil court but rather between themselves and before Church's elders. Maybe you claim to be one, but your understanding of your faith is still very shallow. We are not arguing history here but taking about what is theologically correct.
Finally, I am a Catholic and the last time I checked mass which is at the centre of Catholic liturgy cannot be celebrated in a private house but before the altar of God in the church.

eph12:

Exactly it is not a must to do church. Many people have skipped church wedding and they were not excommunicated from the church. Some people want to enjoy the thrill of the church wedding but don't want to recognize it as part of the process before you can finally have all the sex you want, it does not work that way. Sex wey dem go still tire for sef

Gbam! I feel the vibe in what you say.

delishpot:


Now I get your point.

I am happy. Please preach the message to others

Stay blessed

donstan18:
The earlier Africans start valuing their traditions, the better for them.


The reason behind this very question is that most of us are yet to know that the high rated White wedding is the traditional marriage of Europeans and some other white countries.


Our traditional marriage is the real marriage.



Start bleeping ASAP, we can't wait to hear the cry of a baby used in blessing any fresh couples.

I disagree with you on sex before the final wedding rite. If ones final wedding rite is traditional wedding, that's OK and legal.

I agree, white wedding is just the oyinbo mans own traditional wedding ceremony. He who wants to bleep after his traditional wedding BUT still want the church involved should ask for church blessing and not church marriage.

wwwtortoise:
Traditional marriage is the recognized and generally accepted rite to perform in our culture.

Once this nuptial rite is fulfilled couple is free to consummate their union whenever, whichever and however they so desire.

Say no to Western copycatism.

God respects traditional weddings and it is as valid as the so called church wedding.

However, if a christian desires the church wedding to be his final wedding rite, then sexual acts before that becomes a sin to him. Can one be married legally twice to the same person without a divorce haven taken place?
NO!

Lirqur:


Why you won confuse person like this

The first man the virgin lady dated is her husband, the man that defloured her has fornicated by leaving the first woman he defloured and now has two wives. Then the defloured lady that went ahead to shag another man has committed adultery and the more she continues the more she's committing same thing for the man, when you smash her brand new just keep her .

hahaha hahaha very interesting, so with this analysis on ground, it means, guys that have disvirgined 5 gals already have 5wives and so on abi, so what of if a guy that hasn't disvirgined any lady ended up marrying one of this ladies, what do you say to that

Tosinex:
hahaha hahaha very interesting, so with this analysis on ground, it means, guys that have disvirgined 5 gals already have 5wives and so on abi, so what of if a guy that hasn't disvirgined any lady ended up marrying one of this ladies, what do you say to that

Simple, he his staffing another mans wife. (adultery)

Lirqur:


Simple, he his staffing another mans wife. (adultery)

unmhmm, hahaha. Sincerely I'm Enjoying this and getting some understanding at the same time. So how do we get Virgin girls to marry now, since the world is largely perversed

Tosinex:
unmhmm, hahaha. Sincerely I'm Enjoying this and getting some understanding at the same time. So how do we get Virgin girls to marry now, since the world is largely perversed

Pray and seek, you'll definitely find. There are still good women out there, they just on reserve.

Salaam

Lirqur:


Pray and seek, you'll definitely find. There are still good women out there, they just on reserve.

Salaam

thanks for your time

I learnt something new today.am really impressed and convinced by all you wrote however there is something I need clarity on.
1.Can a Christian do court wedding instead of church wedding? The reason for this question is that many ladies I know prefer it.
2. How would one determine if she's a virgin or not because many ladies are not yet they wear white wedding gown?
3. Is it a must for a lady to wear white wedding gown while the guy wears black suits?

tete7000:


No where there did you see me say white wedding. You added that to it because you are obsessed with that. I have always referred to church marriage. A situation whereby people come before the altar of God. (Not priest, please note) to make their intention to live together for better for worse, till death do both part. In this arrangement, no room for polygamy, no room for divorce. Other types of marriage don't carry this condition and as such are not the same with it. Christianity is a community of person who have chosen to renounce their former ways of life and live according to the dictates and teaching of Christ. They are taken from the world but no longer of the world. If not to satisfy all righteousness, they won't even bother doing traditional marriage. Their vows before their God is what is more important, not one before a court or some traditional elders. St. Paul even admonished Christians to desist from settling their case before a civil court but rather between themselves and before Church's elders. Maybe you claim to be one, but your understanding of your faith is still very shallow. We are not arguing history here but taking about what is theologically correct.
Finally, I am a Catholic and the last time I checked mass which is at the centre of Catholic liturgy cannot be celebrated in a private house but before the altar of God in the church.

The last paragraph and the first contradict. I believe the presence of God is anywhere. You don't have to celebrate mass to seal a marriage before God. You don't need the priest and his altar boys. Is it not just prayers? The couple's parents are best for that.

Theologically correct?! Church marriage is theologically correct? Something started by the Church at a time when they were power drunk?! I'm Catholic myself, and I've read enough of the church's history to know why and when marriages became a church thing. In some very traditional Catholic marriages in Europe, the priest comes to the house, not the couple going to the church. Do well to enlighten yourself.

Yes a couple should commit their marriage to the hand of God. No they don't have to go to church and engage in all that needless ceremony. "where 3 or more are gathered, there the presence of God is" . I believe that is also applicable to marriage.

HeyCorleone:



The last paragraph and the first contradict. I believe the presence of God is anywhere. You don't have to celebrate mass to seal a marriage before God. You don't need the priest and his altar boys. Is it not just prayers? The couple's parents are best for that.

Theologically correct?! Church marriage is theologically correct? Something started by the Church at a time when they were power drunk?! I'm Catholic myself, and I've read enough of the church's history to know why and when marriages became a church thing. In some very traditional Catholic marriages in Europe, the priest comes to the house, not the couple going to the church. Do well to enlighten yourself.

Yes a couple should commit their marriage to the hand of God. No they don't have to go to church and engage in all that needless ceremony. "where 3 or more are gathered, there the presence of God is" . I believe that is also applicable to marriage.

I rest my case when I read you said you are a Catholic and don't know the place of mass in wedding celebration. You gaffed. You are talking to a trained catechist if you want to know. I need to drop this argument. You definitely need to be recatechesised, else join one of the Pentecostal fold - you argument suits them better. Talk to your priest and stop reading senseless history. That won't help you. Hear you, priest don't need to be at a wedding celebration. Church, power drunk! A Catholic indeed you are.

tete7000:



Finally, I am a Catholic and the last time I checked mass which is at the centre of Catholic liturgy cannot be celebrated in a private house but before the altar of God in the church.

So God has an alter? SMH

pek:
So God has an alter? SMH

No, He doesn't have. What a dumb question from a dumb person.

tete7000:


No, He doesn't have. What a dumb question from a dumb person.

Dumbest answer from the dumbest person on earth.

Nothing like church marriage, no God or bible asked you to wed in a church building. Let's learn to separate traditions brought into the church and the word of God.

God is everywhere and Jesus was ever present in a traditional wedding. The moment you invite God into any of your dealings, he's there and present!

tete7000:


No where there did you see me say white wedding. You added that to it because you are obsessed with that. I have always referred to church marriage. A situation whereby people come before the altar of God. (Not priest, please note) to make their intention to live together for better for worse, till death do both part. In this arrangement, no room for polygamy, no room for divorce. Other types of marriage don't carry this condition and as such are not the same with it. Christianity is a community of person who have chosen to renounce their former ways of life and live according to the dictates and teaching of Christ. They are taken from the world but no longer of the world. If not to satisfy all righteousness, they won't even bother doing traditional marriage. Their vows before their God is what is more important, not one before a court or some traditional elders. St. Paul even admonished Christians to desist from settling their case before a civil court but rather between themselves and before Church's elders. Maybe you claim to be one, but your understanding of your faith is still very shallow. We are not arguing history here but taking about what is theologically correct.
Finally, I am a Catholic and the last time I checked mass which is at the centre of Catholic liturgy cannot be celebrated in a private house but before the altar of God in the church.

tete7000:



I rest my case when I read you said you are a Catholic and don't know the place of mass in wedding celebration. You gaffed. You are talking to a trained catechist if you want to know. I need to drop this argument. You definitely need to be recatechesised, else join one of the Pentecostal fold - you argument suits them better. Talk to your priest and stop reading senseless history. That won't help you. Hear you, priest don't need to be at a wedding celebration. Church, power drunk! A Catholic indeed you are.

Unnecessary sentiment would never allow you agree that the church was power drunk. Well at a point, they were. Even Pope John Paul II was aware of it and apologised for some of the crimes (especially the Inquisition) the church committed.

I don't care if you a cathechist or whatever. It doesn't make you wiser or more knowledgeable about the Church. I am not one of those Catholics that sugar coat rubbish. The Church has done good. The Church has done bad.

Telling me to join a Pentecostal fold. Lol. Even 50 Popes can tell me such. Priest doesn't need to be at a wedding. The wedding at Cana is a perfect example.

somehow:
Nothing like church marriage, no God or bible asked you to wed in a church building. Let's learn to separate traditions brought into the church and the word of God.

God is everywhere and Jesus was ever present in a traditional wedding. The moment you invite God into any of your dealings, he's there and present!

That is as far as your understanding permits you. I understand your plight. If it is to be done, it can be done anyhow, somehow. Your moniker says it all.

pek:
Dumbest answer from the dumbest person on earth.

It pained you, I understand. Learn to always engage your brain when next you ask questions. Good night.

Sorry man, i don't do petty talk, counter my opinion and leave out my person from this. there is NOTHING like church wedding, prove me wrong.

tete7000:


That is as far as your understanding permits you. I understand your plight. If it is to be done, it can be done anyhow, somehow. Your moniker says it all.

somehow:
Sorry man, i don't do petty talk, counter my opinion and leave out my person from this. there is NOTHING like church wedding, prove me wrong.

That it's been done everyday already proves you wrong. If there is nothing like it, it won't exist at all. We won't even engage in this conversation at all. All that has been existing, still existing and will continue to exist already prove you wrong. You can deny it, it doesn't mean other realistic people will.

tete7000:


It pained you, I understand. Learn to always engage your brain when next you ask questions. Good night.

It pained me, yes cause you haven't answered the question. But I agree I am dumb but then again, you are the dumbest.

wow, what a comment, so because people do it in this part of the world, it makes it right? people do animal sacrifice too, i bet its also right afterall people have been doing it, same with human sacrifice, as long as people are doing it, it means its right.

Why are the whites not doing both their white wedding (the one you call church wedding here which is their own traditional wedding) together with introduction we do here and then the normal traditional wedding?

why do the white only do one wedding whereas you do 3 here? does it mean theirs isn't complete while yours is? some of you blacks with your mentality here. infact i don't see any intelligent discussion coming out from this. enjoy your folly.

tete7000:


That it's been done everyday already proves you wrong. If there is nothing like it, it won't exist at all. We won't even engage in this conversation at all. All that has been existing, still existing and will continue to exist already prove you wrong. You can deny it, it doesn't mean other realistic people will.

somehow:
wow, what a comment, so because people do it in this part of the world, it makes it right? people do animal sacrifice too, i bet its also right afterall people have been doing it, same with human sacrifice, as long as people are doing it, it means its right.

Why are the whites not doing both their white wedding (the one you call church wedding here which is their own traditional wedding) together with introduction we do here and then the normal traditional wedding?

why do the white only do one wedding whereas you do 3 here? does it mean theirs isn't complete while yours is? some of you blacks with your mentality here. infact i don't see any intelligent discussion coming out from this. enjoy your folly.

Mr. Superior black. Because white introduced education, you shouldn't have gone to school now. The internet you type this on now, shebi it was invented by your grandfather? You people always reason upside down. You live your lives rebelling against Church's rule yet you benefit from education and others that suit you. And a biggest fool you try calling others fool. O ga fun e. Next time don't enter a car, board a bus or take a flight because they are invented by white. Go back to your village and live a backward life your ancestors lived. Mr. traditional man. I no get your time anymore.

HeyCorleone:


The fact that the white man colonised us and handed us technologies doesn't mean we must follow his every culture. And then we wonder why Africa is still light years behind

What is culture please? A way of life yea? B4 dey handed us "science and technologies" were they things we had abundant in see our culture?

Don't get me wrong o... I'm not supporting colonialism but Wat I'm against is we trying to deny the dominance of their culture in Nigeria. Half of your today's activity revolved around the "white man's culture" from clothes to haircut and hairdo to food and even to source of livelihood


We can't blame them for us being backward.... developing African countries whose standard of living is better than ours do dey av 2 heads?