Can any body please help me figure out my nigerian boyfriend. I meet this guy in the hospital he is an MD. We are in the early stages of dating but  I feel that he is being too aggressive. On our first date he tried to kiss me and have sex with me which I politely refused up to now.  He is also very demanding as if he own me! he wants me to build my schedule around his so "we can spend more time together" according to him. In addition, he also mandated that I remain silent about us dating. He doesn't want people in the hospital to know about our situation. He doesn't want to meet my friends that works in the hospital, but he mandates that I show up on every luncheon and dinner arrangements  he makes with his doctor friends. I feel like im a trophy girlfriend. I am on the verge of breaking up with him because I am very confused about his behavior, but before I do that I wanted a nigerian perspective about my dating dilemma here. I might be missing some cultural context here since I am an asian lady. Are nigerian men typically demanding and aggressive? help please

You know funny enough,a girl told me that most Nigerian men are famous for trying agressive sexual ploys on women.

At first I was angry but with time I came to realise that there might be some truth to this.

I don't know,I guess the women are in the best position to answer you.Expect this thread to descend into a farce with nationalist sentiments running wild

My advice to you is, NIGERIAN or NO NIGERIAN, If you are with ANY man and you don't feel comfortable and satisfied with the relationship, don't STAY in that relationship.

So if i tell you that Nigerian men are generally demanding, are you then going to stay with this man that you feel as a trophy girlfriend to?

If you don't like how a man treats you, just move on or TALK to him. Tell him you don't like his attitude or his demanding tones, or whatever it is that bothers you. TALK to your man and tell him that you don't like the way he's comanding you.

Nigerian Men are generally NOT Demanding, BUT MOST MEN, will, Push you around if you allow them. NIgerian or NOT. Believe that!

ma angel just daid it all, being agreesive or demanding aint nationality friendly or otherwise, if itz not ur kindaman, leave his arse and mingle with ppl u can tolorate

wow Nigerian guy with an Asian chic. NA WA O

Omo Eko, if I begin to gist you about what i've heard about all these naija men, you will be more surprised.

evil_mia, it's not a nigerian thing. He's just playing around. You better show him the way out before you get your heart crushed. Any man that treats me like that irrespective of his culture will be dismissed without hesitation.

girlie may is your name that is scaring him away whats the meaning of EVIL MIA .just be very careful of pple you meet.maybe blacks are not like you think and they are very caring.change that your name and you will come out great.all the best.

Evil Mia,

Drop the loser with immediate effect. He has no respect for you and the first date is the only
chance he has to impress you and treat you like a princess. He has blown his chances and from
hereon it can only get worse. Do not compromise. There are plenty of guys out there who will treat
you the way you deserve and this guy does not deserve you sista. Apologies at this point in time
do not count for anything either, he is a brute and chances are he will not change and may even turn nasty.
There are plenty of good Nigerian men out there, believe me.

omo eko how re you this morning.i did not hear from you again don't you want us to be friends again.

his behaviour has nothing to do with being a nigerian. u should no what u'r expecting from your guy.

@ evil_mia

The most shocking thing i edited out of your post is the fact that he wouldn't introduce you to friends and dosen't want your relationship to be known not to mention the fact that your own friends at the hospital shouldn't know about it.
Gosh, sweetie how can you accept that second to best treatment, well i know what i'm about to say will be hurtful, bt that's the only way you'll understand i'm serious and i do guess you want us to be honest otherwise you wouldn't have posted. What i have to say in capital letters is HE IS PLAYING WITH YOUR INTELLIGENCE, HE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR FEELINGS, HE IS USING YOU AS A PERSON, HE DOSEN'T RESPECT YOU AND HE SURE AS HELL IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU

Now if that hurt, i'm truly sorry, but you just have to have a heart to heart discussion with him. And honey if he's not ready to treat you like the princess that you are, then its time you do away with him.
It's okay that he has been a jerk, afterall nobody is perfect but everybody has the ability to change and if he's not ready for that then that's his loss.
Life is too short to be spent being treated like rags, and you my dear, you don't deserve that

The fact that he's Nigerian is not a concluding factor. There're people like that in every nationality, Asia is not an exception. And believe me, there are lots of Nigerian guys who'll treat you as gold, its just a thing of who you fall into his trap!

j-girl:

Omo Eko, if I begin to gist you about what i've heard about all these naija men, you will be more surprised.

Girl i want to hear the gist ohhhhhh, i know they date Spanish and white but not Asian women.

He sounds horrible. You deserve to be treated nicely. Get rid of him. This man is just being a jerk, it is nothing to do with his being Nigerian.

@evil mia,

I am truly concerned here, what kind of respond do you expect here?, that someone would ask you to hold on "because he is our bro?", come on,

If I should play the devil's advocate here I would say that when a guy is reluctant to hang around with your friends then maybe he finds them boring, noisy or something. It is also not unheard of that a couple could get physical on their first date, abi u nova hear of one night stand?, and heaven knows lots of "one night stand" stand the test of time.

You said he does not want the relationship blown open in the office, then may be he does not want to mix the office life with his love life, or possibly he had had some bad office relationship and would rather this one is not counted prematurely as one of those, even under this condition it is very possible not to have any qualms taking you out with friends. You can still be open up to your friends, friends would always understand , thats why they are your friends.

Last line: if you are not comfortable with him, let him go, and tell him why you are leaving, it may be he is truly aggressive and needs a bit of changing.

Evil mia r u so scary dat he doesnt want people 2 know u dating each other

not all politicians r devil not all lawyers r liars not all pots r black

am a nigerian black nd proud of being 1

i'm also proud ooooooo my dear

LMAO, the first thing that made me laugh was teh title of this thread "SOMEBODY HELP ME BEFORE I BREAK UP WITH MY NIGERIAN BOYFRIEND" you ger german boyfriend too? or japanese? lol

He doesn't want anyone to know about u and him, its obvious he's ashamed of u
its a simple decision, dump his sorry ass! anyman dat is nt proud of saying hey datss my girl right there, he's a gonner!

evil_mia: Can any body please help me figure out my nigerian boyfriend. I meet this guy in the hospital he is an MD. We are in the early stages of dating but I feel that he is being too aggressive. On our first date he tried to kiss me and have sex with me which I politely refused up to now. He is also very demanding as if he own me! he wants me to build my schedule around his so "we can spend more time together" according to him. In addition, he also mandated that I remain silent about us dating. He doesn't want people in the hospital to know about our situation. He doesn't want to meet my friends that works in the hospital, but he mandates that I show up on every luncheon and dinner arrangements he makes with his doctor friends. I feel like im a trophy girlfriend. I am on the verge of breaking up with him because I am very confused about his behavior, but before I do that I wanted a nigerian perspective about my dating dilemma here. I might be missing some cultural context here since I am an asian lady. Are nigerian men typically demanding and aggressive? help please

..he try to kiss u & u refuse??....did he Slap yor face?

serinavagz: After being in relationship with my boyfriend for six years,he broke up with me,I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem. Contact him now for your relationship or marriage problems via this email ikedispiritualtemple@gmail.com

Yahoo guys una nor dey tire? haba
U don over copy paste this same format for plenty website
U dey wait for RP abi?! u go wait tire

Girl if your legs are not long enough I can borrow you mine as long as you return it after you reach your destination safely.
Oya collect. Start running away from him now! He's a Playa.Let's not bring Nigeria into this matter.We have players all over the world even in Asia.

Being secretive about you means he's not proud of you and probably has another girl he'll end up marrying that is if he's not already married.

Don't come here saying a Nigerian broke your heart o.Leave him now. He doesn't love you. You're only a toy for him.

Kirinwa: Girl if your legs are not long enough I can borrow you mine as long as you return it after you reach your destination safely.
Oya collect. Start running away from him now! He's a Playa.Let's not bring Nigeria into this matter.We have players all over the world even in Asia.

Being secretive about you means he's not proud of you and probably has another girl he'll end up marrying that is if he's not already married.

Don't come here saying a Nigerian broke your heart o.Leave him now. He doesn't love you. You're only a toy for him.

Oga, I don't think dis ya advice dey relevant again o. Check the date of her post na.

3ace:
Oga, I don't think dis ya advice dey relevant again o. Check the date of her post na.

Thanks.Never looked at date. Whoever brought it up must have been banned.

Kirinwa:

Thanks.Never looked at date. Whoever brought it up must have been banned.

LWKMD

In my personal experience, my Nigerian BF waited for half a year for me to be ready for intimacy and it was when he already proposed to me with flowers and ring. So if the man loves you and respects you, he waits. The we were dating and we broke up for other reasons. But yes, Nigerian men can be romantic, careful and nice. From your writing your guy is not respecting you but you need to see if he will or how it works in your personal experience.