If you beg your wife to return and she did the aforementioned issues will still rear their heads up again.
Go to Nigeria,sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her. But the crux should be if she is interested in making it work.
If she is,you guys should discuss what really went wrong and both of you should make concessions, because without them it's back to square one.
If she is not don't force yourself on her but make sure you are always in your children lives. And work on your next relationship because to be sincere you have also to work on yourself. You are the head, while the body is static the head is flexible.

OP
I've been having some extra thoughts on this

You need to be careful you know.
1) Being mushy, mushy with that stripper, You run the risk of starting a SERIOUS relationship with her - i dont condemn people, but i dont think youd be proud of this
2) You run the risk of making a stripper your baby mama -can you and your family handle this?
3) If you marry again, the new wife would likely want to have her own kids. If within 5 yrs, you had 3 kids, i wonder how many the new wife would want.
4) you are going to be in a financial mess if you are looking after a family in US and another in Nigeria -in fact the stress could kill you

If there is any way you can patch up with your wife, while keeping your pride, abeg try
You guys need to fix the issues of trust, respect and some basic love
She does not need to be with you in the US, in fact her being in Nigeria once those trust issues are fixed is an advantage.
You can then easilly hustle in the US without distraction -that's if you are sensible
If you send 1 to 2 million Naira to her every year, that should make her and your kids leave well for a start
You can then live rough in the US, and save enough money for regular business investments at home and abroad

..just avoid woman so that you dont get into a fiancial mess o

who gives a fuc bout this long ass epistle shitt
wtf

flamingREED:


You
Are
Unbelievable!

Titus 2:4
'That they may teach the young WOMEN to LOVE their HUSBANDS'

◄ Ephesians 5:25 ►
Verse (Click for Chapter)
New International Version
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

New Living Translation
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her

English Standard Version
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Berean Study Bible
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her

Berean Literal Bible
Husbands, love the wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

New American Standard Bible
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

King James Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her

International Standard Version
Husbands, love your wives as the Messiah loved the church and gave himself for it,

NET Bible
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

New Heart English Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
Husbands, love your wives, as The Messiah also loves his church and gave himself up for her sake,

GOD'S WORD® Translation
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

New American Standard 1977
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;

Jubilee Bible 2000
Husbands, love your wives even as the Christ also loved the congregation {Gr. ekklesia – called out ones} and gave himself for her,

King James 2000 Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

American King James Version
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

American Standard Version
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;

Douay-Rheims Bible
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it:

Darby Bible Translation
Husbands, love your own wives, even as the Christ also loved the assembly, and has delivered himself up for it,

English Revised Version
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;

Webster's Bible Translation
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Weymouth New Testament
Married men, love your wives, as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up to death for her;

World English Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;

Young's Literal Translation
The husbands! love your own wives, as also the Christ did love the assembly, and did give himself for it,
Study Bible
Wives and Husbands
…24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,…
Berean Study Bible · Download
Cross References
Ephesians 5:2

Same bible sir only understanding is the issue

You have 95% of the blame. I think you made a lot of mistakes that got the whole situation deteriorated. You should have supported her dreams. her dreams doesn't have to be what you think/expect. she wants to buy and sell, that is where you missed it. However, it is still possible you guys heal your relationship. When you reach her, tell her you have decided to support her dreams and desires. apologize for that and remind her of how you guys started.

kunleajaye:
Hello peeps. It's with a heavy heart that I have to say that my marriage is on it's last legs(or so I think). Sometimes last year I made a post asking for advice and things actually got a bit better afterwards (https://www.nairaland.com/3415462/dont-feel-attracted-wife-anymore), but alas, it didn't last.

My wife returned to her cold self and it just went downhill from there. We started arguing again over the tiniest of reasons. Some of the reasons for our petty arguements was the issue of her engrossing herself in school activities that sometimes took her attention from home duties. I told her a couple of times that i wasn't against her doing things like what she did and wasn't in the way of her achieving her desires and goals, but she shouldn't forget she's a mother and wife and one of her primary duties is her family. Sometimes she'd spend so much time in one fruitless meeting or the other, and when she gets home, she'll be too tired to do anything. It got to a point I had to do alot of cooking for the house so that the kids won't be hungry. It's not that she didn't do her duties. It's just the inconvenience of it all and the way her outside activities affected us that really got to me.

Another thing that got on my nerves was her attitude to her degree. Agreed, with all the things she did, she still maintained a very good GPA and was one of the best students in her department. Her lecturers would at times request she take their classes for them while they attended to other pressing issues. It was a good thing and i felt proud, but in her mind the main thing she wanted to do was business. Buying and selling like she did when we first got here and before she started school. She wanted to set up a store where she'd import and sell african prints. There were days during the summer when I'd plan on doing Uber to supplement the little I brought in as a paycheck, only for her to tell me she'd registered for one event or another to display her wares. I'll just have to stay back at home with the kids till she returned later in the night. It really did get me upset and I once asked her what the point of the degree she had studied for if all she wanted to do was sit in a store and sell stuff? We had this argument several times on end.

What eventually broke the camel's back was something she said that I'll never forgive her for. One evening, after putting the kids to bed, she approached me and said she wanted to apply for a loan. I asked her what she needed the loan for. She said for her shop. How much does she need? Ten thousand dollars. How does she expect to apply for ten thousand dollars when we have no way of paying back? Besides, where does she expect me to get the collateral from? She said someone would stand in for her. I told her I don't support the idea and she should be patient. At least after her graduation, she would be able to work full time and earn a better pay which she could then channel to doing whatever she wanted. She said no. She doesn't want to work, but sell her stuff. We started bickering back and forth about this cos I was already fed up of the whole issue, and at some point she screamed, saying I do not support her as a husband, and maybe she would have been better off marrying Awwal. [/color]


***
Awwal was another guy who fancied her when we met during our youth service in camp; she had once told me that back then she loved him as much as she loved me, and if she had to choose, she would have picked him instead of me. I asked her why she then chose me, and she said her late mother had advised her "don't make a future husband into an ordinary boyfriend, and don't make an ordinary boyfriend into a husband." In other words, don't confuse lust for love.
***


[color=#000099]She realized what she said and immediately began to apologize. I don't know how I kept my cool, and I walked away quietly. It only got worse after then. We no longer talked liked we once did apart from the necessary exchanges. I let her do whatever pleased her. Our arguements continued and sometimes we wont speak for days. I started keeping late nights, staying more in the lab after school or sometimes driving to a bar to drown my sorrows. I tried getting a marriage counselor, but the damage had already been done. Our sex life became virtually non-existent. We just remained together because of the kids.

A man has needs, and if he wasn't getting them at home, he'd start looking outside. I'm not proud to say this, but during some of my late nights out, I'd visit a discrete gentleman's club. It was on one of these outings I met one of the girls who danced there. She was a young college kid in her junior year. Over the next week or so she gave me a listening ear and I poured my heart out to her. She invited me over to her place one evening (she shared a three bedroom house with two other girls), one thing led to another and she was giving me a full n@ked massage with her body. We didn't have penetrative sex, but she gave me the sexual release my wife had denied me for such a long time. I offered to pay for her services afterwards, but she told me not to, as it was just her way of showing she cared. We ended up making similar arrangements a few more times, and each time we took it a bit further. The furthest we went was the time we had a 69 on her bed, and she came all over my face while I splooged her mouth. I always had to wipe myself off properly and take a shower once I got home to rid of all the oil and smell of pheromones on my person.

I guess my wife suspected something was going on cos she asked me one day if i had been seeing anyone. I asked her why she asked, and she shrugged, murmuring something to the fact that it was unusual of me not to have disturbed her for sex in such a very long time. I told her since she had decided to control when and the frequency we had sex, I had accepted my plight. I told her if she wanted sex, she knew where to find me. That night, I woke up to her snuggling up to me. It was the first time in a long while she would come to me. Try as much as I could, I just couldn't achieve an erection. My time with the stripper girl had taken away the sexual affection I had for my wife. She noticed this and started crying, saying i don't love her anymore. I simply told her it was just the stress. The following day, she was back to her normal self.

Last month, she finally graduated. I was happy that at least she would get a place to work and earn some money. But what she told me a few days later came as a shocker. She told me she wanted to go back to Nigeria. Her plan was to fulfill her dream of setting up a clothings line and since i don't want to support her, she'd rather go on without my support. I asked her if she was joking, but i could see she was dead serious. I asked who would take care of the kids if she leaves, and she said she intends going with them. infact, she had already told her sister to start looking for a nice school for them at home. I just couldn't believe it. Why make that kinda decision without consulting me first? She just told me her mind was made up. I tried changing her mind, but she remained adamant. Unknown to me, she had already booked their flight back home a long time ago. I had to call my parents to talk some sense into her, but afterwards they just told me to let her come home, that she may just need the change of environment for a while. I called and asked her sister why she didn't tell me about the plan knowing how close we were, but she simply said it was her sister's decision.

They left two days after Christmas. To date I'm yet to receive a call from her. I've sent her several emails but she hasn't responded to even one. She told my mum she hasn't had the chance to get a line yet, but I know that's a lie. It doesn't take you more than a week to get a phone and a line in Nigeria. Sadly, I may have to accept the conclusion that my marriage is over.

iamloyalty:
Ur wife already knew abt ur LovePeddler hence her leaving. U can still fight for ur marriage if u want to because both of u are at fault here, dont listen to some who are anti-marriage here.

#word.

Truth be told! Your marriage is gone! Why? Because you married an opinionated, unsubmissive, stubborn, uncooperative, independent and selfish woman ( harsh adjectives, but, am i wrong?) . You married a woman whose dreams and visions for life and whose perception of life do not align with yours. That marriage was a mistake from the onset because her heart was with someone else and not you 100%.. Thank your stars you stood against that 10,000 dollar loan. You for pay till ur hair turn white and Trump comes after you. And please, stay away from that prostitute you patronize. Send money to your kids and cater for your wife until she finally asks for a divorce - because she will ask for a divorce.

However, you may still pray to God to keep your family as one forever. There's still a glimmer of hope.

But, how could a woman in her husband's house take a decision as crucial as relocating a man's kids and herself being the man's property, without the owner's ( man's) consent? She got the ticket, etc long before telling you? That wife of yours is deep. Very deep.

Good luck to you bro.

I pray that you find a way to fix your marriage.

But if you don't, please fight for your children. I hope you make money and ensure that they, at least, spend all their holidays with you.

Mrnakeina:
Fight for your kids bro

vry important

I hope she wasn't the one I have been seeing with different men in some hotels

kunleajaye:
Hello peeps. It's with a heavy heart that I have to say that my marriage is on it's last legs(or so I think). Sometimes last year I made a post asking for advice and things actually got a bit better afterwards (https://www.nairaland.com/3415462/dont-feel-attracted-wife-anymore), but alas, it didn't last.

My wife returned to her cold self and it just went downhill from there. We started arguing again over the tiniest of reasons. Some of the reasons for our petty arguements was the issue of her engrossing herself in school activities that sometimes took her attention from home duties. I told her a couple of times that i wasn't against her doing things like what she did and wasn't in the way of her achieving her desires and goals, but she shouldn't forget she's a mother and wife and one of her primary duties is her family. Sometimes she'd spend so much time in one fruitless meeting or the other, and when she gets home, she'll be too tired to do anything. It got to a point I had to do alot of cooking for the house so that the kids won't be hungry. It's not that she didn't do her duties. It's just the inconvenience of it all and the way her outside activities affected us that really got to me.

Another thing that got on my nerves was her attitude to her degree. Agreed, with all the things she did, she still maintained a very good GPA and was one of the best students in her department. Her lecturers would at times request she take their classes for them while they attended to other pressing issues. It was a good thing and i felt proud, but in her mind the main thing she wanted to do was business. Buying and selling like she did when we first got here and before she started school. She wanted to set up a store where she'd import and sell african prints. There were days during the summer when I'd plan on doing Uber to supplement the little I brought in as a paycheck, only for her to tell me she'd registered for one event or another to display her wares. I'll just have to stay back at home with the kids till she returned later in the night. It really did get me upset and I once asked her what the point of the degree she had studied for if all she wanted to do was sit in a store and sell stuff? We had this argument several times on end.

What eventually broke the camel's back was something she said that I'll never forgive her for. One evening, after putting the kids to bed, she approached me and said she wanted to apply for a loan. I asked her what she needed the loan for. She said for her shop. How much does she need? Ten thousand dollars. How does she expect to apply for ten thousand dollars when we have no way of paying back? Besides, where does she expect me to get the collateral from? She said someone would stand in for her. I told her I don't support the idea and she should be patient. At least after her graduation, she would be able to work full time and earn a better pay which she could then channel to doing whatever she wanted. She said no. She doesn't want to work, but sell her stuff. We started bickering back and forth about this cos I was already fed up of the whole issue, and at some point she screamed, saying I do not support her as a husband, and maybe she would have been better off marrying Awwal. [/color]


***
Awwal was another guy who fancied her when we met during our youth service in camp; she had once told me that back then she loved him as much as she loved me, and if she had to choose, she would have picked him instead of me.

This is when your marriage was over before it even
startedShe Don maga you
Next time don't force marriage

I asked her why she then chose me, and she said her late mother had advised her "don't make a future husband into an ordinary boyfriend, and don't make an ordinary boyfriend into a husband." In other words, don't confuse lust for love.
***


[color=#000099]She realized what she said and immediately began to apologize. I don't know how I kept my cool, and I walked away quietly. It only got worse after then. We no longer talked liked we once did apart from the necessary exchanges. I let her do whatever pleased her. Our arguements continued and sometimes we wont speak for days. I started keeping late nights, staying more in the lab after school or sometimes driving to a bar to drown my sorrows. I tried getting a marriage counselor, but the damage had already been done. Our sex life became virtually non-existent. We just remained together because of the kids.

A man has needs, and if he wasn't getting them at home, he'd start looking outside. I'm not proud to say this, but during some of my late nights out, I'd visit a discrete gentleman's club. It was on one of these outings I met one of the girls who danced there. She was a young college kid in her junior year. Over the next week or so she gave me a listening ear and I poured my heart out to her. She invited me over to her place one evening (she shared a three bedroom house with two other girls), one thing led to another and she was giving me a full n@ked massage with her body. We didn't have penetrative sex, but she gave me the sexual release my wife had denied me for such a long time. I offered to pay for her services afterwards, but she told me not to, as it was just her way of showing she cared. We ended up making similar arrangements a few more times, and each time we took it a bit further. The furthest we went was the time we had a 69 on her bed, and she came all over my face while I splooged her mouth. I always had to wipe myself off properly and take a shower once I got home to rid of all the oil and smell of pheromones on my person.

I guess my wife suspected something was going on cos she asked me one day if i had been seeing anyone. I asked her why she asked, and she shrugged, murmuring something to the fact that it was unusual of me not to have disturbed her for sex in such a very long time. I told her since she had decided to control when and the frequency we had sex, I had accepted my plight. I told her if she wanted sex, she knew where to find me. That night, I woke up to her snuggling up to me. It was the first time in a long while she would come to me. Try as much as I could, I just couldn't achieve an erection. My time with the stripper girl had taken away the sexual affection I had for my wife. She noticed this and started crying, saying i don't love her anymore. I simply told her it was just the stress. The following day, she was back to her normal self.

Last month, she finally graduated. I was happy that at least she would get a place to work and earn some money. But what she told me a few days later came as a shocker. She told me she wanted to go back to Nigeria. Her plan was to fulfill her dream of setting up a clothings line and since i don't want to support her, she'd rather go on without my support. I asked her if she was joking, but i could see she was dead serious. I asked who would take care of the kids if she leaves, and she said she intends going with them. infact, she had already told her sister to start looking for a nice school for them at home. I just couldn't believe it. Why make that kinda decision without consulting me first? She just told me her mind was made up. I tried changing her mind, but she remained adamant. Unknown to me, she had already booked their flight back home a long time ago. I had to call my parents to talk some sense into her, but afterwards they just told me to let her come home, that she may just need the change of environment for a while. I called and asked her sister why she didn't tell me about the plan knowing how close we were, but she simply said it was her sister's decision.

They left two days after Christmas. To date I'm yet to receive a call from her. I've sent her several emails but she hasn't responded to even one. She told my mum she hasn't had the chance to get a line yet, but I know that's a lie. It doesn't take you more than a week to get a phone and a line in Nigeria. Sadly, I may have to accept the conclusion that my marriage is over.

stop blaming her, you fuckdd up by marrying awwAl wife by force.
just thank God she no divorce you collet child support

Bros did it ever cross your mind that your wife could be cheating on you? All the school stress talk are just excuses! Is she the only one attending the school with family? Are all the husbands in similar position getting the same treatment? Cos all the signs you described are tell tale signs. Hmmm l could be wrong but l doubt it. By the way where does her alternative reside For her to do that comparison could mean they are still in touch and she is heavily updated about his current situation!!!

Any serious Father would have kept the children and let her go..

2shure:
who gives a fuc bout this long ass epistle shitt
wtf

a lot of us . who still believe in marriage.

tiredoflife:


◄ Ephesians 5:25 ►
Verse (Click for Chapter)
New International Version
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

New Living Translation
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her

English Standard Version
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Berean Study Bible
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her

Berean Literal Bible
Husbands, love the wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

New American Standard Bible
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

King James Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her

International Standard Version
Husbands, love your wives as the Messiah loved the church and gave himself for it,

NET Bible
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

New Heart English Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
Husbands, love your wives, as The Messiah also loves his church and gave himself up for her sake,

GOD'S WORD® Translation
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

New American Standard 1977
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;

Jubilee Bible 2000
Husbands, love your wives even as the Christ also loved the congregation {Gr. ekklesia – called out ones} and gave himself for her,

King James 2000 Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

American King James Version
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

American Standard Version
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;

Douay-Rheims Bible
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it:

Darby Bible Translation
Husbands, love your own wives, even as the Christ also loved the assembly, and has delivered himself up for it,

English Revised Version
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;

Webster's Bible Translation
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Weymouth New Testament
Married men, love your wives, as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up to death for her;

World English Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;

Young's Literal Translation
The husbands! love your own wives, as also the Christ did love the assembly, and did give himself for it,
Study Bible
Wives and Husbands
…24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,…
Berean Study Bible · Download
Cross References
Ephesians 5:2

Same bible sir only understanding is the issue

So,Titus 2:4 does is incorrect?

The same Paul scribbled the two letters.

The issue here is that..
You claimed no where is it written that women should love their husbands,
And I showed it to you, but your pride won't even let you admit that assertion of YOURS was wrong.

You are
Truly
Amazing.

your marriage is not over ..work it ..if you still love your wife forget about the fun in sex and work on your marriage ...my father told me that there is a time in marriage you will wonder why you married your partner..you will Be distracted ..both of you will fall out inlove with each other ..but when you decide to stay not because of her but because of you said forever ...since she didn't cheat you can till have her back ...travel home ...you both should sit and talk ..pour out your mistakes and forgive each other ...seek God together it's not easy but it will work ...if you love your wife go for her ...she left with the kids because she knows with them you will always come home ...go home and make things right no woman is perfect

Cladez:
My only problem is you letting her go with the kids.

PRAY SHE DOESN'T TURN THEM AGAINST YOU.

My man abroad is not Nigeria. A single parent can't work with a kid talk less of there children. She also knows that fact and she can't leave the kids behind.

My own advice is for you to let her have her way. There is nothing wrong in separating for a short term for both of you to figure out how best you both can leave together as one. Stopping her from going would only amount to postponing the evil day.
When she leaves with the kids, you will have enough time to work and as others have rightly said ensure you keep on your responsibility as a father send money for upkeep and keep records for future purposes.

My advice to you is: take her back on the condition that she would attend personal deliverance at MFM.

Based on her actions of diabolical deceptions (booking flight and not saying), and plotting seperatist schemes, she can kill.

Take her back but she needs deliverance.

Also she shops men not the best approach for picking apartner. The only reason she chose you was because of her mum/ grand mum advice.

She is also a liar because she said till death do us part on a holy alter yet she parted.

She is sick!

Am so confused, why are some men so clingy, dis woman obviously ain't interested in you no more, in fact you were always the second option since day one. Stop chasing her like some lost puppy, just take care of ur kids.

STOP VISITING PROSTITUTES its annoying & disgusting even for single guys talkless of a married dude

My advice to you is: take her back on the condition that she would attend personal deliverance at MFM.

Based on her actions of diabolical deceptions (booking flight and not saying), and plotting seperatist schemes, she can kill.

Take her back but she needs deliverance.

Also she shops men not the best approach for picking apartner. The only reason she chose you was because of her mum/ grand mum advice....

She is also a liar because she said till death do us part on a holy alter yet she parted.

She is sick!

Im not surprised about your post, because personally I have come to conclusions that if not because God instituted marriage, it's one of those things that should have been abolished in the last century. If not for having kids, I see no reason why anybody should wanna go into this present day marriage..I no longer blame those who chose baby mama over being married. It's because of situation like this which is typical of nearly or couples.....bros everybody get him own o.

But the only big mistake u've made was letting her leave with the kids....why on earth would u allow that...They can't have a good life in Nigeria and from your post, she doesn't have enough money to even take care of them for 2 years.... getting a job is not guaranteed in Nigeria but still I will not advise u to send her money to take care of the kids...she will only use d Money to fund Awwal or d new boyfriend who is giving her d care and sex she craves for...

Go to Nigeria and reclaim your kids, Nobody can stop you from having their custody in Nigeria. Move them back to the state and be happy....I give her months her brain will reset and she will come back...she's being deceive by someone in Naija....but she will soon discovered the guy wanted her money and nothing else.

This is a serious case o.
May God help your family.

Beverly1:
Im not surprised about your post, because personally I have come to conclusions that if not because God instituted marriage, it's one of those things that should have been abolished in the last century. If not for having kids, I see no reason why anybody should wanna go into this present day marriage..I no longer blame those who chose baby mama over being married. It's because of situation like this which is typical of nearly or couples.....bros everybody get him own o.

But the only big mistake u've made was letting her leave with the kids....why on earth would u allow that...They can't have a good life in Nigeria and from your post, she doesn't have enough money to even take care of them for 2 years.... getting a job is not guaranteed in Nigeria but still I will not advise u to send her money to take care of the kids...she will only use d Money to fund Awwal or d new boyfriend who is giving her d care and sex she craves for...

Go to Nigeria and reclaim your kids, Nobody can stop you from having their custody in Nigeria. Move them back to the state and be happy....I give her months her brain will reset and she will come back...she's being deceive by someone in Naija....but she will soon discovered the guy wanted her money and nothing else.

Yes why did the guy give up his children so easily?!

PETUK:
no one should ever fight for his or her marriage to remain,

no one should ever give up on their partner

greatgod2012:
The truth is that your wife actually understand that you've been emotionally and sexually connected to another woman, hence, her decision to relocate quietly and without any drama.

how are we sure she is not planning to give her cookies to Awwal too....hmmmmm.

Daeylar:


Simple and short. You didn't even want to say they may come back together. I couldn't help but smile.
Story is sad

Did I even read the “tory”?
Abeg, relationship matters bore me to death.
Too many cases.

If you are not happy, then move on.

If they reconnect in the future, better luck to them.

Life is damn too short to be miserable.

Na by force to “marry” or “stay married”?

Rosebaby568:
your marriage is not over ..work it ..if you still love your wife forget about the fun in sex and work on your marriage ...my father told me that there is a time in marriage you will wonder why you married your partner..you will Be distracted ..both of you will fall out inlove with each other ..but when you decide to stay not because of her but because of you said forever ...since she didn't cheat you can till have her back ...travel home ...you both should sit and talk ..pour out your mistakes and forgive each other ...seek God together it's not easy but it will work ...if you love your wife go for her ...she left with the kids because she knows with them you will always come home ...go home and make things right no woman is perfect

Awwal

ikukuhero:
Truth be told! Your marriage is gone! Why? Because you married an opinionated, unsubmissive, stubborn, uncooperative, independent and selfish woman ( harsh adjectives, but, am i wrong?) . You married a woman whose dreams and visions for life and whose perception of life do not align with yours. That marriage was a mistake from the onset because her heart was with someone else and not you 100%.. Thank your stars you stood against that 10,000 dollar loan. You for pay till ur hair turn white and Trump comes after you. And please, stay away from that prostitute you patronize. Send money to your kids and cater for your wife until she finally asks for a divorce - because she will ask for a divorce.

However, you may still pray to God to keep your family as one forever. There's still a glimmer of hope.

But, how could a woman in her husband's house take a decision as crucial as relocating a man's kids and herself being the man's property, without the owner's ( man's) consent? She got the ticket, etc long before telling you? That wife of yours is deep. Very deep.

Good luck to you bro.

a wife is not a man's property, they are patners, they belong to each other.

ikukuhero:
Truth be told! Your marriage is gone! Why? Because you married an opinionated, unsubmissive, stubborn, uncooperative, independent and selfish woman ( harsh adjectives, but, am i wrong?) . You married a woman whose dreams and visions for life and whose perception of life do not align with yours. That marriage was a mistake from the onset because her heart was with someone else and not you 100%.. Thank your stars you stood against that 10,000 dollar loan. You for pay till ur hair turn white and Trump comes after you. And please, stay away from that prostitute you patronize. Send money to your kids and cater for your wife until she finally asks for a divorce - because she will ask for a divorce.

However, you may still pray to God to keep your family as one forever. There's still a glimmer of hope.

But, how could a woman in her husband's house take a decision as crucial as relocating a man's kids and herself being the man's property, without the owner's ( man's) consent? She got the ticket, etc long before telling you? That wife of yours is deep. Very deep.

Good luck to you bro.

a wife is not a man's property, they are patners.

It is not good to be looking for a wife during NYSC or to marry when you haven't established your direction in life. I know that it is customary for Yorubas to marry so early in life. The story in the OP is just the result of such an early marriage. The stress of two young people coping with the demands of a full-fledged family when they are not standing well on their feet took a great toll on the emotions of the two married youths. If the man were a little more experienced, he would have been able to manage the emotional reactions of the wife even when he is financially challenged. He would have tried to accommodate the wife's reactions to the hardship she was experiencing; it takes some maturity.

Let this be a lesson to younths who get engaged in the university or during NYSC. Don't rush into marriage without being sure that you are ready. When the heat comes, all the beauty that caused the attraction that led to marriage become obscured.

Double post!