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Help And Advice Needed!!!! - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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No Idea On The Topic To Use, But Pls Read And Advice. / I'm In Trouble! My Wife Brought Home An House Help And She Is My Mistress / Need Your Help And Advice!!! A Girl Is Playing Me (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Adebayo4christ: 4:38pm On Apr 13, 2018
orangb:
Most men commenting on this post are quick to blame the wife, but I'll tell you that the op is at fault.

I've had experience with your type before- Mommy's boy who just can't wean themselves of their Mommy's breast milk .

Why should she have to pay for your wedding?
Why should your mum be paying the balance for the photographer and not you?
Why should your mom be handing over foodstuff to your family?
Why do you have to force her to visit your parents regularly when she knows she is still trying to wean you off your comfort living off your parents as well as prevent them from meddling in your family affair?
Have you thought about her upbringing? Does she call her own family as often as you want her to call yours?

Why at all should you even think of discussing your arguments in your home with your mom?

Please be a man and take charge of your home and restrict the access your parents have to your home. If you have to receive assistance from your mom, do it covertly and not in a way which would make your wife a ridicule in front of your family.
Be a real man not some Mommy's boy relaxing in his mother's laps!



I NEVER DISCUSS ANY ARGUEMENT WITH MY MUM OR PARENTS. SHE NOTICES IT ANYTIME WE R THERE. SHE IS NOT ALWAYS FREE WITH THEM. SHE EITHER LISTEN TO MUSIC ON HER PHONE OR SHE GOES OUTSIDE TO SIT DOWN. MY MUM WILL EVEN CALL HER TO COME INSIDE ASKING WHY SHE SAT OUTSIDE ALONE. SECONDLY, I SAID I AM JUST GETTTING STABLE NOW, MY MUM WAS ASKING ME WHY SHE IS ALWAYS MOODY AND I SAID I DONT KNOW. MY MUM BOUGHT A PLASMA TV FOR US ON CREDIT TWO WEEKS AFTER OUR WEDDING WHEN SHE SAW THE SMALL ONE WE R USING GOT SPOILT.. SHE WAS JUST DOING THAT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND RELAXED WITH HER BUT NO, MY WIFE WILL NOT WANT THAT.
AND ITS NOT A CRIME IF MY MUM OR HER MUM GIVES US FOODSTUFF OR ANYTHING. ITS NOT THAT WE DONT HAVE FOOD AT HOME BUT JUST TO SUPPORT IN HER OWN LITTLE WAY. SECONDLY, SHE IS ALWAYS IN HER MUMS PLACE/ SCHOOL, EVRYDAY COS SHE TEACHES THERE. SHE SLEEPS OVER MONDAY TO THURS, THEN COME HOME FRIDAY EVENING THOUGH THATS TO SAVE COST OF TRANSPORTATION. ALSO, AM NOT FORCING HER TO VISITS THEM, ATLEAST , A CALL WILL DO, JUST TO CHECK ON THE HER AILING FATHER INLAW. AND WHAT STOPS HER FROM GOING THERE ATLEAST TWICE A WEEK DURING THIS HOLIDAY. IS THAT A CRIME IN THAT. THERE WAS A DAY SHE WAS SICK BFR OUR MARRIAGE, MY MUM WAS WITH HER TWICE DURING THAT PERIOD, ALSO MY DAD. I SLEPT IN SAME HOSPITAL THRU THE PERIOD. SO WHY CANT SHE DO SAME FOR ME NOW THAT I NEED HER. I HAVE A BAD WIFE AND A BAD MOTHER INLAW.
FROM ALL THIS, DID ANYONE ASK IF THE MUM EVER VISITED MY DAD WHILE HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL OR HER DAD. NO. SHE NEVER DID.
I AM THE ONLY ONE WORKING AND I EARN A LITTLE ABOVE 40K.

1 Like

Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Tabitha03(f): 5:02pm On Apr 13, 2018
it's like you're scared of your wife. you should be the one in charge you guyz are married now so what's with the qualification. learn to communicate with your wife
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Nobody: 5:30pm On Apr 13, 2018
bobokeshington:


Opting out isn't the solution. Just commit the whole situation to God and he'll restore peace into your family

To which God? Same God his wife is worshipping or which one? He should die an unhappy man while waiting for his prayers to manifest? If that's what you'll do in this situation, then wait till you find yourself in it.
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Curvinus(m): 5:46pm On Apr 13, 2018
Op I'm sure this woman really loved you, reason she married you against her parents wishes.

But unfortunately, your marriage is having issues, either because her eyes are now open to what her parents saw earlier that didn't let them accept or you have become too much of a sisi - (saying only death can separate the two of you). You really come across as weak and disgusting with such stuupid statements. In fact, Op, you are weak man with no sense of self worth.

Your wife even told you and your pastor boldly that she'll only manage you for a year, meaning she doesn't need you in her life. In her eyes, you are a dead duck

So, grow some balls and mirror her actions -give her back in equal measures whatever she does to you or get the f**k out of her life.

modified*********

Op you are a broke idiot. Why did you go into marriage with an elite lady when you can't even afford a decent Plasma TV? You think marriage is fairy tale where love conquers all? You ain't even seen anything yet.

Better go and hustle and start bringing home the bacon if you want respect from this wife of yours because it's obvious she is pissed at your pitiable financial status.

2 Likes

Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by InfernoNig(m): 6:37pm On Apr 13, 2018
Na so MFM, Deeper life members be. Their mind deep like the Atlantic ocean. Mostly the ladies.

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Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Nobody: 6:49pm On Apr 13, 2018
Adebayo4christ:
JUST BECAUSE MY MUM BOUGHT A FLAT SCREEN TV FOR US A MONTH AFTER OUR WEDDING AS A GIFT, SHE FLARED UP THAT WHY SHOULD SHE. WE HAVE NOT GOTTEN OUR WEDDING PICTURES COS OF THE BALANCE OF 20K TO GIVE THE PHOTOGRAPHER. MY MUM SAID SHE WILL ADD 10K TO THE ONE I HAVE. SHE ALSO FLARED UP. I TOLD HER THAT IF HER MUM GIVES ME SOMETHING, SHOULD I REJECT IT OR IF HER MUM GIVES HER SOMETHING, SHOULD I FLARE UP COS OF THAT? MY WEDDING DVD IS WITH HER PARENT, I HAVE NOT WATCHED THE VIDEO MYSELF, ALL COS SHE WAS THE ONE WHO PAID FOR THE VIDEO MAN. UP TILL NOW MY PARENTS HAVE NOT SEEN EITHER WEDDING PICTURES OR VIDEO. I ASKED HER LAST WEEK, SHE SAID A COPY OF THE CD IS ON D LAPTOP. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AGAIN. HAVE TOLD HER THAT AM ALREADY PRAYING FOR DEATH TO COME SINCE THATS THE ONLY WAY, WE CAN BE SEPARATED. I AM FED UP!!!

Dude why are you yelling!?

I'd love to read what you're typing but all caps ain't good mehn.
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by eniolorunfe: 7:14pm On Apr 13, 2018
Instead of focusing so much on what your wife does or doesn't do, you need to FOCUS on your hustle and pray that God will lift your head and bless you.

That is what will end all this drama, you won't believe the change you will see in your wife. Na you go start to dey do yanga.....

2 Likes

Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Adebayo4christ: 8:17pm On Apr 13, 2018
eniolorunfe:

Instead of focusing so much on what your wife does or doesn't do, you need to FOCUS on your hustle and pray that God will lift your head and bless you.

That is what will end all this drama, you won't believe the change you will see in your wife. Na you go start to dey do yanga.....


Thanks bro/siis
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by frixie: 6:49pm On May 09, 2018
We are reading from you alone and I think you have "work" to do on yourself. Marriage is not made of apples. So much work is required to have a successful home.

Your wife is a good person. A spiritually good woman as well. Am sure she won't bring herself to say all you're saying here.

You're to cleave to your wife. Make her your best friend. Trust her, believe her, spend time with her, be her right man and pray with her. Never leave your wife stranded. Your wife is lonely my brother. She needs you.

From your stories I can tell that both of you are not financially stable. She want to cope like that. She doesn't mind the small TV. She doesnt mind the inadequate food. What a wife you've got for yourself.

Take it easy bro, it seems you do go to your parents house to eat. Every marriage is going through problems. You're not alone but how you manage it is the issue. Put all your worries before God and He will take care of them. God bless you and your wife.

1 Like

Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Adebayo4christ: 8:41am On May 10, 2018
frixie:
We are reading from you alone and I think you have "work" to do on yourself. Marriage is not made of apples. So much work is required to have a successful home.

Your wife is a good person. A spiritually good woman as well. Am sure she won't bring herself to say all you're saying here.

You're to cleave to your wife. Make her your best friend. Trust her, believe her, spend time with her, be her right man and pray with her. Never leave your wife stranded. Your wife is lonely my brother. She needs you.

From your stories I can tell that both of you are not financially stable. She want to cope like that. She doesn't mind the small TV. She doesnt mind the inadequate food. What a wife you've got for yourself.

Take it easy bro, it seems you do go to your parents house to eat. Every marriage is going through problems. You're not alone but how you manage it is the issue. Put all your worries before God and He will take care of them. God bless you and your wife.

thanks for your words, but i dont go to my parents house to eat, its normal for every parent to want to support their children in one way or the other. Just two weeks ago, she called her dad right bfr me and told him, she is paying 60k for her second semester registration for her masters program, when i challenged her about it, guess what her response was? My dad has said, no man will ever pay for her childrens school fees even when they r married. thats her words. now, if u r the one, how will you feel?
meanwhile, my mum gave us the Tv as a wedding gift.

You r not also in my shoes, and i pray u will not, cos, the shit am taking from her, no man will ever take it. but i have accepted my fate.
i will live with it. Thanks
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Adebayo4christ: 8:48am On May 10, 2018
ladiesreject:


To which God? Same God his wife is worshipping or which one? He should die an unhappy man while waiting for his prayers to manifest? If that's what you'll do in this situation, then wait till you find yourself in it.

am already dying inside. spiritually, emotionally
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Adebayo4christ: 4:35pm On May 30, 2018
I finally lost my dad!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Timekeeper: 5:12pm On May 30, 2018
Adebayo4christ:
I finally lost my dad!!!!!!!!!!

May his soul rest in peace and may God restore Joy and peace to your marriage
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by OLAFIMIX(f): 8:57pm On May 30, 2018
OMG......may his soul rest in peace
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Nobody: 9:21pm On May 30, 2018
Geedhey:
I would want to say she must have shown signs of these while you guys were dating or u didn't know her well enough... bro your marriage is quite still young to be having this kinda trouble.. she's either too self-centered or she's reacting based on some of your actions. Sit her down and have a proper talk with her, women hold grudges a lot so rather than talk she's giving u a attitudes . Sit her down and talk
e be like say you never sabi women wella. Of all the creatures in Heaven and on earth, No one pretends better than them. Just to get the Mrs title, they'd become as meek as dove, and once the ring enter finish, you wey put am also die join. Op neva see anything, the thing just dey start. Buh no dey force her go your family if she no wan go. Just for the sake of peace, leave her be on your family matters. Buh truth be told, you don enter one chance, na so e go be till you two go divorce each other trust me. She revealed herself way too early.
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Adebayo4christ: 5:33am On Jun 16, 2018
Good morning nairlanders, please I need your help urgently.
In my former post, I posted about my dad being sick then and how my wife has been behaving to me and to them also, now I lost my dad, instead of my wife to be there for me, she had totally changed to worst. from nagging, to shouting , and other things. i dont know what ny parent has done to her to deserve what she is doing to them. despite the fact that my dad was her teacher in secondary school. part of the reason my dad supported our marraige then cos she was a devoted MFM member. through out my dad's sickness that lasted for almost 3 months, my wife was there 4 times, her parents came just once. the most painful thing to me now is , anytime i want to go and visit my mum during this her period of mourning , she feels reluctant. , i could rememeber how my aunties begged her immediately after the burial to please allow us move temporarily to my parents house just to keep my mum from thinking, later in the night, she called me and said, sebi my mum had achieved her aim of she feeding me and looking after us now, relating what my aunties said in the afternoon, . secondly, I am beginning to hate her , and I am blaming myself for my dad's death. I believe if I had been going to see him regularly as i am doing to my mum now, who knows he may not have died. He died of depression cos of his stroke condition. the morning of the Friday he died, he still called me and asked me if he had offended me and my wife, asking why I have abandoned him, I just had to lie to him that it was cos of my tedious job , and I promised to see him on Saturday morning, he died that Friday night .I didn't see him for three weeks bfr he died and my wife two months , meanwhile we stay in the same ikorodu. now am deeply hurt and I remember those words every now and then. I blamed myself. another thing I noticed was , it was exactly 6 months after my wedding, he died, and exactly a year after my introduction, we buried him. any coincidence with this?
How can I get over this and what can I do about my Wife. to me, the marriage is over. I am just still being considerate cos of my baby she is carrying. and she is also making things worst everyday , making me to hate her the more.
Godly counsel / advice please.
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Nobody: 6:21am On Jun 16, 2018
Adebayo4christ:


thanks for your words, but i dont go to my parents house to eat, its normal for every parent to want to support their children in one way or the other. Just two weeks ago, she called her dad right bfr me and told him, she is paying 60k for her second semester registration for her masters program, when i challenged her about it, guess what her response was? My dad has said, no man will ever pay for her childrens school fees even when they r married. thats her words. now, if u r the one, how will you feel?
meanwhile, my mum gave us the Tv as a wedding gift.

You r not also in my shoes, and i pray u will not, cos, the shit am taking from her, no man will ever take it. but i have accepted my fate.
i will live with it. Thanks
yea, live with it, and die with it prematurely mumu. you have two kids, what else are you looking for again bayo?? be like the kokoro for your leg too dey nod abi.. are you not the one on Uber thread looking for a car?? you can see what we deduce from your moniker a very weak and sisi fellow. you are such a weak man who allowed religion mumunize him. you see your life? person wey you just put for house five months ago and you no fit send am comot make you concentrate on your children and financial status. to slap you just dey hungry me... it's like toto sweet you gan abi?? and you still dey pray make she quick get belle, for wetin? so she can be humble?? or stay loyal?? ... see bayo, I just dey read your rants with annoyance and I fit slap your head with hammer if you dey my side. you already have two kids for Christ sake, wetin you dey find again??
see I fit curse you if I continue typing.
see, ask this lady what she wants, if she isn't comfortable then she should go seek it else where. if she decides to leave, let her go and now take care of your own family, children and yourself. then I can assure you that if you hustle right, in four months you will be a better person. but I know you no go listen, you can't do without a lady in your life.

and if you rant her again, when solutions don ready for you already. thunder wey go strike you fit power the whole of naija. ode

Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Nobody: 6:27am On Jun 16, 2018
bobokeshington:


Opting out isn't the solution. Just commit the whole situation to God and he'll restore peace into your family
it is advice like this that makes people die prematurely. so he should keep praying to God and endure while his wife prays to God and oppress. I don't know your age sir, but you need a slap with a sledgehammer sir. no offence.

stop all this religious enslavement...
God loves you
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by emmachukwu99(m): 6:35am On Jun 16, 2018
Imagine what a man is going through in his own home.

If he vex one day slap am now, stewpid ladies godey shout woman beater-animal upandan.

May God deliver dedicated and responsible men from Jezebel-character like women.
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by emmachukwu99(m): 6:36am On Jun 16, 2018
doctorkush:
it is advice like this that makes people die prematurely. so he should keep praying to God and endure while his wife prays to God and oppress. I don't know your age sir, but you need a slap with a sledgehammer sir. no offence.

stop all this religious enslavement...
God loves you

Lol, hilarious.
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Nobody: 6:36am On Jun 16, 2018
Adebayo4christ:
Good morning nairlanders, please I need your help urgently.
In my former post, I posted about my dad being sick then and how my wife has been behaving to me and to them also, now I lost my dad, instead of my wife to be there for me, she had totally changed to worst. from nagging, to shouting , and other things. i dont know what ny parent has done to her to deserve what she is doing to them. despite the fact that my dad was her teacher in secondary school. part of the reason my dad supported our marraige then cos she was a devoted MFM member. through out my dad's sickness that lasted for almost 3 months, my wife was there 4 times, her parents came just once. the most painful thing to me now is , anytime i want to go and visit my mum during this her period of mourning , she feels reluctant. , i could rememeber how my aunties begged her immediately after the burial to please allow us move temporarily to my parents house just to keep my mum from thinking, later in the night, she called me and said, sebi my mum had achieved her aim of she feeding me and looking after us now, relating what my aunties said in the afternoon, . secondly, I am beginning to hate her , and I am blaming myself for my dad's death. I believe if I had been going to see him regularly as i am doing to my mum now, who knows he may not have died. He died of depression cos of his stroke condition. the morning of the Friday he died, he still called me and asked me if he had offended me and my wife, asking why I have abandoned him, I just had to lie to him that it was cos of my tedious job , and I promised to see him on Saturday morning, he died that Friday night .I didn't see him for three weeks bfr he died and my wife two months , meanwhile we stay in the same ikorodu. now am deeply hurt and I remember those words every now and then. I blamed myself. another thing I noticed was , it was exactly 6 months after my wedding, he died, and exactly a year after my introduction, we buried him. any coincidence with this?
How can I get over this and what can I do about my Wife. to me, the marriage is over. I am just still being considerate cos of my baby she is carrying. and she is also making things worst everyday , making me to hate her the more.
Godly counsel / advice please.
oh so I didn't see this, so you finally gave her belle.... you just signed up for destruction... but I just pity the old man you killed with neglect and worried about his mourning wife.

you are not a good son and I'm sure your father knows before dying. he surely is disappointed in you and that was why he called you that morning before dying yet his son Yoruba terms" agbori obo jeje" ignored him.

I weep for your dad and mourn with your mum

Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by emmachukwu99(m): 6:40am On Jun 16, 2018
Tabitha03:
it's like you're scared of your wife. you should be the one in charge you guyz are married now so what's with the qualification. learn to communicate with your wife

Communicate Keh!

Did you not see the part he said he has sat her down countless times and had heart to heart talk with her all to no avail?
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by emmachukwu99(m): 6:46am On Jun 16, 2018
frixie:
We are reading from you alone and I think you have "work" to do on yourself. Marriage is not made of apples. So much work is required to have a successful home.

Your wife is a good person. A spiritually good woman as well. Am sure she won't bring herself to say all you're saying here.

You're to cleave to your wife. Make her your best friend. Trust her, believe her, spend time with her, be her right man and pray with her. Never leave your wife stranded. Your wife is lonely my brother. She needs you.

From your stories I can tell that both of you are not financially stable. She want to cope like that. She doesn't mind the small TV. She doesnt mind the inadequate food. What a wife you've got for yourself.

Take it easy bro, it seems you do go to your parents house to eat. Every marriage is going through problems. You're not alone but how you manage it is the issue. Put all your worries before God and He will take care of them. God bless you and your wife.

Which wife is a good person? Which spiritual woman??

Friend, pray you don't have such as a wife.

Have you not heard that "faith without good work is dead? "
James 2:20.
Re: Help And Advice Needed!!!! by Nobody: 7:46am On Jun 16, 2018
The problem started from when she knew you are an NCE Holder, also a baby daddy to two other women. She would have resisted you at first but she's getting old (33) and she couldn't resist all the insults being hurled at her at home. She has a master degree, she's single but she's 33, she thinks time is going and maybe you are the only option so she accepted your proposal, I believe she resented you because of that and also because of your financial incapability too, how much can an OND make in this present Nigeria economy. The way I'm seeing it this marriage is heading to the rock. She doesn't respect you and she's not submissive. Well you should have seen the signs before you entered. She married you not because she likes you but because she's getting older. And why did you marry her? Is it because she's single and have MSc, or religious? Always try to know the true intention of a woman you are dating towards you, it will go a long way in you making a decision on her.

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