For a few years now, I have been researching and writing on sex, relationships, love, psychology, and lifestyle. From my many years of experience in relationships, I have never seen a relationship that survived two straight years if one of the partners denies the other (or himself/herself) the happiness and intimacy that comes from sexual satisfaction.

It is true that love is not sex, and when we truly love someone, we are usually blind to some things about them. We will be willing to sacrifice, overlook or live with some of their shortcomings. But forget what your pastor or imams tell you. Every relationship between a man and a woman is rooted in sexual attraction. If it wasn't, why aren't you ok being gay and dating your good same-sex friend? You love them too, right? So why ain't you cool with it?

There is no point trying to fight it, men are programmed to love a woman, and to feel that sexual chemistry towards anything female. We love everything about the other gender that is different from ours. While men fancy the big and curvaceous glutes of women, women are attracted to a masculine torso with well-tapered biceps. It's natures design that we appear sexy and drawn intimately to the opposite gender.

Of course, religious leaders would preach that premarital sex is sinful. But judging by our present economic realities, How can a man with testosterone flowing in his veins stay up to 35 years a virgin? This to me is the primary reason why rape, child molestation, and other deviant sexual behaviors have been on the rise in our society lately. When the urge builds up to a certain level, they are just going to find any place to cool it off.

Although one has to be careful really. People go into relationships for different reasons too, and fun or sex is sometimes a reason too. But, If you both feel so genuinely in love with each other, and can do with the consequences of having good quality lovemaking with your partner, then why not? Don't push them to go look elsewhere for it. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Am not saying that it's wrong deciding to stay celibate till you get married. But if you have made a decision to abstain from sex till you get married, try as much as possible to not sacrifice a good relationship on the altar of abstinence.

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Relationship is not about SEX

darol4real:
Relationship is not about SEX

True but we cannot shy away from the fact that "sexual chemistry" and "sex" as an act makes a vital part of every relationship. If there is none, or there is no hope that you can ever have sex in future, there would be no relationship in the first place.

agape love

GuntersChain:
agape love

It is near impossible for love between two attractive young persons of opposite gender to be purely agape.. So long as we are human, and hormones flow in us, you'll feel the urge. The only exception is if you are married or already attracted to someone else. But in this context, we are talking about "intimate relationships"