Blonchilli:
All these points do not work for everyone. Just treat them nice and avoid being too close. Respect their authority over their daughter and also subtly let them know it's your house. Any man who really wants a happy home will throw that option of never allow them in the home. If you don't want madam to put the anger on you because like it or hate it she has lived with her family all her life and they share a special bond. You walked into her life few months or years back and want to stop her family from being with their daughter or sister? Who are you?

Nairaland dumbasses. That’s who they are

milemimi93:


oh! I got it.

It was just an opinoin.

Secondly I don't see myself gettin married or having children.


Marriage benefits these leeches.

I also haven't found a good hole to pour my spermm.

No girl is worthy enuf to carry my child.

Order one of these. Good hole. None of those female problems that annoys you so much. And most importantly, you can vent your frustrations on it and it won’t react.

Your perfect kind of woman

cococandy:


Nairaland dumbasses. That’s who they are

You have sense

So do you

Blonchilli:

You have sense

Number 2 and 3 wont work for an African family. Our house is mini motel, anyone on transit, all our family members do come. At a go you can have 5 inlaws coming to stay. As one is leaving another one is coming. No break no retirement. May God help us.

daewoorazer:
1. Never put up in in-law’s house!

Even if your wife’s dad is Dangote, never be tempted to settle in his house. No that’s not economical, rather it’s sheer cowardice! You’d never be respected! Every hardworking and hard-thinking man has his transient trying times(the lazy’s trying period is eternal tho!) doesn’t matter if all you can afford is a 1 bedroom Lagos slum apartment for now, if your in-laws can’t trust your wife with your future, let them marry their child!

2. Never accommodate family members!

It’s baseless having to accommodate siblings, brothers and sisters In-law beyond marriage!Your house shouldn’t be an IDP camp for them; Or better still continue, your undoing will catch-up when your wife’s junior sister starts complaining you buy more clothes for your siblings than her. No matter the temptation, better hire a registered house-help and take care of your siblings and in-laws from afar. Always remember, not a human being can be satisfied!

3. Have a plan for all visitors!

Sit your wife down and tell her irrespective of the position of the visitor, have a definite number of days, quality of meal, departing funds to give all!

“You gave your daddy 2 pieces of meat, you gave mine 1” bullshyte stories have destroyed many young families. Be wise!

4. Never accept financial aids NOR borrow from your in-laws

That’s if you have any amount of dignity left in you, but if you don’t care to lose your voice, you can indulge in that. Better die than give in, I won’t say much, never look up for your manna from them!

5. Scarcity is invaluable!

A social function is at hand and you are already thinking how to help them arrange chairs and kill the cow. Can you also help them wash plates after the program?
Have your envelope ready, make it as fat as your pocket can, attend the gathering and leave!

6. Respect and nobility will save you a lot!

No matter how rich you may be, always prostrate whenever visiting them even if they are not worth any of your respect. Don’t be quick to anger, keep quiet when they talk; these are the measures your parents-in-law will use to either defend/destroy you whenever their child reports you to them! This value will win wars for you in absentia..trust me!

7. Occasionally send gifts

Once in a blue moon, never fail to send wine to your papa-in-law, also send money/gift to mama-in-law, do these and see them blush at the sight of you! It doesn’t matter if the wine is N50, it’s a conviction you had a little left for them having taken good care of their daughter.

What have men done? Why always wine only to men and fat envelopes to women? Wine which must be shared by the entire family and friends. Woman will get fat envelopes for caring less than 3kg for nine months, while man that carried more than 50kg for the rest of his life will receive only wine. Abeg give your father in law the fat envelopes and give the woman something less or the same. God forbids, my son in law will not support cheating.

10 Tips For Managing Your In-Laws


Catherine Yeulet via Getty Images
Do you have a mother-in-law who won’t butt out of your marriage? Or perhaps she’s disapproving or condescending? Got a father-in-law who’s a know-it-all? If you plan on sticking with your spouse, then you’re also stuck with your in-laws, so finding ways to get along with them is crucial. Here’s Dr. Phil’s advice for keeping the peace with your extended family:

1. There can be no divided loyalties.
When you get married and start your own family, that’s where your primary loyalty needs to be. Even in the heat of a fight, you need to stand by your spouse — not by your parents.

2. Don’t share your marital problems with your parents.
One of the biggest mistakes that couples can make is sharing their relationship issues with their respective families. You fix problems in a marriage within a marriage — not by turning away from your partner and toward your parents. You can love your parents and have a rich, active relationship with them without involving them in your marriage. And remember: If you vent to your parents every time you’re angry or hurt, they’ll build a case against your partner. You and your spouse may make up, but your folks will still remember the hurt your spouse has caused you and may hold a grudge.

3. Negotiate with your partner the role that you want your in-laws to have.
Don’t assume you’re on the same page until you talk about it.



4. Create appropriate boundaries.
Good fences make good neighbors. Your in-laws need to be your neighbors (figuratively speaking!), and you need to put up fences. Set boundaries about when they are or are not invited into your lives, so they can come in and out of your life appropriately. You’ve got a finite amount of physical and emotional energy. If your in-laws are draining you, you may need to change the boundaries. Reassure them that you are not closing them out.

5 Talk about it.
If your in-laws are butting into your life and invading your privacy, perhaps it’s because you and your spouse haven’t set limits or articulated them clearly. That’s your job. Once you’ve set boundaries, talk to your parents about them. They’re not as fragile as you may think.

6. Deal with “the other woman” dynamic.
The other woman in every man’s life is his mother. If your husband says: “Well, my mother does it this way ...” maybe you need to tell him to head to her house and sleep there! You need to come first now, not her.

7. Know your role.
If a husband has a problem with his mother-in-law, it’s his wife’s job to step in. Likewise, if a wife doesn’t see eye-to-eye with her in-laws, it’s her husband who needs to help resolve it. The person with the primary relationship (the son or daughter, not the in-law) needs to be the messenger or peacemaker.



8. Try not to criticize your spouse.
There may be parent/child dynamics that your spouse can’t see; try not to be overly critical. It may only lead to more clinginess or complications.

9. Don’t be a right fighter.
Do you always need to be right during an argument? Even if your in-laws are clearly in the wrong from your perspective, the way you react to a situation could inflame it and overshadow your position. It’s not about being right; it’s about being happy. Take the moral high ground and learn to compromise during a disagreement.



10. Don’t involve the children.
Children should never be used as pawns. Protect them from being manipulated or emotionally damaged by being in the middle of a war zone. Grandparents need to understand that even though their role is vital in a child’s life, their involvement is a privilege, not a right. They must earn that privilege by putting the children’s interests above their own. Parents should make every effort to keep the relationship between a grandparent and grandchild healthy and loving.

Let me learn this politics 🙄