Im tired of talking about marriage. I'd rather conserve that energy and actually work on the marriage that i'm in. [s]All these younglings fantasizing about marriage sef. [/s]

i feel so lazy to leave a comment, but i thought i sud still leave a comment to say this

Most of the brains we have are wasting cos while the women think of marriage, the men think of making money. Nobody thinks abt how to develop the country through research and anyway they can. Our culture has a huge part to play as the woman is only seen as succesful when married and a man is seen as successful when rich. Marriage in my opinion should be when you are ready and you meet the right person and can we please start thinking of other things apart from money and marriage.

babygirlfl this is quoted from ur 1st post. Reading this every1 see's u linking our underdevelopment to d pressure of marriage. Sheguru says we can do better even while being married. Correct?

So how am I missing the point?

Ur pt is Nigeria is underdeveloped becos people are marrying and making money to which I say have a rethink and to which Sheguru says yes u can b married n make a mark.

I can't seem to reconcile ur quote above n wat u agree Sheguru points out or have u taken a new position?

Truth is these days,there's so much pressure to get married.
U only need to go to the east to see what girls do and put themselves through just to get a ring on their finger. Its pathetic.

Its like if ure not married, u're incomplete, does not seem to matter whether u're married to a jerk, or ure having a miserable marriage.

I heard an older woman who has been single all her life, and just got married, say
that a man is a like a shadow on a woman, no matter how wretched he is.
Now she knows what she has bee thru in her mature single years, to say such,but its just so sad.

I would love to get married, but in the meantime, there are goals and dreams that have to be achieved, as an individual, before i commit to a lifetime of responsibility.

@ssumpta: I agree dat the pressure - real & imagined - is out of proportion but to link it to Nigeria's underdevelopment is absurd. Being married does not stop u from being productive. It's all in the mind.

If u stop thinking of how to progress whether u are married or single, u will stop being productive. However few of Nigeria's leaders can be said to be progressive thinkers this is truly our bane.

Your marriage or not will not cause a crisis in Nigeria but if Jonathan chooses to think and act wrongly we will all feel the brunt of it.

@ Lord-reed I am going to explain just this time and thats it. What I am saying put simply is that putting an effort in every aspect of our life - marriage, career and developing the country will do a lot for you and your country AND also that the society should not only see success from a woman getting married thereby putting presure on them to get married. I love the institution Marriage but it will not stop my career and my duty as a citizen of that country Nigeria.

Yes Jonathan's decisions are important but we as citizens also have a great deal of effort to make for that country to change for the better.

@ Lord- reed, you strike me as someone who just loves to argue and I beg to disappont you that I ma argueing about this anymore. Those who get the point should take it and those who don't, well can't explain any further.

@ top-up a woman is not expected to live alone but she can do other things before and after marriage.

babygirlfl it's not a question of arguing we just need to put everything into proper perspective. I agree dat the pressure is unnecessary. We as a society and as todays youth need to let our elders know dat we think of our lives in broader terms than the narrower one in which they were brought up.

However wat I can not agree to is dat Nigeria's underdevelopment is linked to the pressure for marriage. Looking at things critically u would see dat this is a fallacious statement cos the phenomenon of this pressure is more recent than Nigeria's problems.

If u can't take people disagreeing with u, I suggest u stop posting here and go open a blog.

This is a major concern for me. i have friends that date a man for barely six months and get married. all those chics are in Nigeria. Recently i discovered that is what all my friends from high school can talk about. this person is getting married oh i cant wait for my wedding. it is so sad that as women most of us plan our weddings from the womb, looking through wedding catalogues lying in wait for an unfortunate man to prey on. the parents are also responsible i am this year and by next year i will have three degrees (public admin, human biology and psychology) and will be in medical school on the august of 2011. my mother does not see that side of me. all she sees is the girl who doesn't have a boyfriend and talks all about medical related issues,spend time doing lots of non profit work. do not get me wrong i am not at all ugly, happily am one of those chics that when i walk into a conference the speaker loses his audience, wives grab their husbands tightly (women are usually hostile to me so am getting used to it) that happened recently in a conference where there were lots of Nigerian professors and politicians that game to new jersey for the Nigeria at 50 celebration. i get depressed cos of that but my mother doesn't know. my first priority is starting medical school and getting thru it, i wish she can understand me but she got married at 18 so how will she ever relate with me? well i promised her to expect grand kids as soon as i turn 30 husband or not. yes marriage at an early age runs a woman's development it happened to my mother, i have been getting suitors since i was 16 right when i was still in Nigeria my cousin is a presenter in Nigeria and she is just 20 with all these marriage proposals i advised her to think and plan carefully for her unborn children. this is no longer the time when marry women as trophies. you have to have your own footing in the society too.a man will never respect you without your own money. if you are a woman and are scheming of marrying a man who has money guess what? as blind as he is it wont take him more than five years to snap out of it. then you wont have means of supporting those kids you wanted so much. i am excited for my unborn kids because they will get the best out of life and study in any part of the world they want so that they can reach their highest potentials. personal development should be a priority. (enough of a society of empty brains, i cant discuss or argue with most women because they lost all those neurons long time ago since its a use it or lose t rule.our women are obsessed with men). i do not claim to be perfect i wonder sometimes if i will ever find love (not a husband) as it takes men with spunk to converse or even ask me out.

who told u women are thinking of marriage? women are also thinking of how to support themselves and their families. these days, a lot of men dont want any responsibilities; they say they dont want any liabilities. others will have affairs with women that have something doing. when you even see where marriages are headed these days, you would rather not marry. good men, stable men will encourage their women; marriages that limit them 2 the kitchen. it is only insecure men or lazy women that feel they should depend on the men. so my dear, if you feel marriage is the easy way out, think again!

who told u women are thinking of marriage? women are also thinking of how to support themselves and their families. these days, a lot of men dont want any responsibilities; they say they dont want any liabilities. others will have affairs with women that have something doing. when you even see where marriages are headed these days, you would rather not marry. good men, stable men will encourage their women; marriages that limit them 2 the kitchen. it is only insecure men or lazy women that feel they should depend on the men. so my dear, if you feel marriage is the easy way out, think again!

@ Lord reed,
The pressure of marriage has always been there - it's just that it appears to be getting worse. Nigerian's underdevelopment is not solely caused by marriage but early/pressured marriage could be a major factor. I don't have problems with people disagreeing with me but I really cannot stand those who start disagreeing without understanding what I have said. YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE POST AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM STILL AT THIS WITH YOU.

@goldilocks
Yes most of my friends too discuss nothing else apart from who is getting married and how they cannot wait for theirs and as you rightlyly said, I also do not bother discussing or arguing this with my friends as this marriage thing has eaten deep into them. Its some women's life ambition.

babygirlfl for the record lemme state it very clearly dat I understand u. I understand what u are driving at n I support the drive for women to become n be seen as truly productive members of society.

Lets change track now n suggest ways by which ladies can show dat marriage is not the ultimate productive goal of a woman.

I would like to suggest that women exploit the freedom of speech clause n get their ideas on every aspect of life (scientific, medical, economics, etc) out there.

@goldilocks. as much as i agree with you very much with your school of thought i however hope that you will correct your impression as regards "a man will never respect you without your own money" that may not be right in its totality

i get d OP point of view- dis life isnt all about marriage rada its abt d finer tins in life like, em, em, em abeg poster help me out

truth is ideally, evry1 needs a companion to make/share d finer things of life
choosin dat companion is totally left to U-ask Adam