₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,075,999 members, 4,482,819 topics. Date: Friday, 21 September 2018 at 10:27 PM

My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With - Romance (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With (51818 Views)

Nigerian Lady: I Am Ugly But My Vagina Is Tighter Than Those Of Beautiful Ladies / Is It Safe To Marry A Lady I Slept With On The First Date? I’m Confused / A Lady I Met On Facebook Gave Me HIV – Nigerian Man Shares Shocking Story (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by hollowpot15684(m): 12:07am On Jul 12
delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.

Contrary to what you said she is not Egocentric, it might look that way but she is not. What she has is a low self esteem and need someone to help her boost her esteem. Not just anybody but a therapist.

An egocentric woman is always on the lookout out to point out your mistakes to your face, she brags and say hurting words to your face.. But the lady OP mentioned here is totally different from that..
OP should pls do a background check, I believe she has had her emotions damaged in the past, if the OP is emotionally intelligent enough he should be able to manage such lady with care and teach her some few lessons even if he won't marry her, but believe me if the OP should break up with her, he has only brought out the worst in her, it won't help further..

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Ekenemma42: 12:10am On Jul 12
delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.
word.well spoken.I have seen or rather dated a girl like DAT.wat did I do.I just moved on with my life.it won't be easy especially wen u love her but u must move on.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by InvertedHammer: 12:15am On Jul 12
DonroxyII:
Some girls are like that especially all these lack of exposure girls ..... immediately you teach her something or correct her assertions , she will feel worthless , in secured and insulted ... GBAM, Malice has started until you reexplain yourself again via apology cheesy ...

The thing is that , her attitude ain't enough to dump her especially if she has other areas/aspects she excels like :

Career/Professional/Academic oriented,
Home management skills ,
Financial management skills,
Social skills,
Kid raising skills,
Bedmatics,
Level of Spirituality etc


There is no perfect person anywhere but you need to confirm the key indices you want in a woman .....
and her ability to learn .... The above yardstick are mine .....

My first gf/fiancee was a Medical student now a medical doc with poor family/social skills but averaged and aced some other yardsticks .... she fights over little and most stewpid things if not with Okada rider, it may be a taxi driver , her colleagues at school or her nuclear/extended family member, If it were me she's having issues with, She will rake, rake while I will just be smiling and telling her how beautiful she is when she is angry ...... If she was reporting any incident to me, I dare not blame her nor question her judgment else, she will transfer all aggression to me cheesy ....

So, anytime she was reporting anyone to me , I dey follow her insult that person ooo grin .... (Na psychology), at that moment of reporting (Chai, thunder fire me if I don't , else she will tagged me as aiding and abetting that person grin)

Then, after a day or two that sweet nonsense would have happened between us like outing, movies, lovey-dovey (Like immediately after some Sxx) ..... I would now revisit the issue and sternly recommend appropriate course of action she should have taken in that scenario and avoid any such occurrence in the future.......
I'd let her realised how much she embarrassed herself even her profession simply because of lack of patience or for as low as "I'm sorry" or #50 disagreement .... you would hear :
"yes sir, yessur " .... she tend to listen better at that moment .....

Since we broke up in 2013 , she still ain't find a man to manage her and me too on relationship holiday since then (Book ti take over) grin

This is a great textbook approach to relationship. Imagine being given a delicious plate of jollof rice with assorted meat but laced with a tiny scoop of faeces. Wouldn't that be an appetite-killer? OP is talking about a girlfriend so he doesn't know how family-oriented she will be in future.
I think he should pull a stop loss. The husbands that got stabbed or killed recently thought they could manage. Malice and temperament are deal-breakers. All it takes is one stab to the chest at sleep and OP is a 'goner". Do not tempt the Lord your God.

/

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Ezechinwa(m): 12:19am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

My brother, marry a woman who will be with you in good times and bad times. And she might infect you with HIV if care isn't taken

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by agabaI23(m): 12:21am On Jul 12
I will tell you my experience tomorrow. I think you should move on.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by davillian(m): 12:21am On Jul 12
Hmmmm
Op you are my kind of person and I've been in this same shoes.
Breaking up won't solve the problem because of the type of person you are .
Like someone said earlier , a typical Nigerian woman will take a loving and caring man for granted .
The game plan is that when ever you in love with a woman try to show her 30% and make her do the work providing the remaining 70%.
Act like you don't care ( give a Bleep).
If she calls don't be in a hurry to pick up her calls even when u watch it ring.
Don't call back when you see her missed calls all time .
Same with text and social media messages. Etc.
You will notice if you are over doing it because she will begin to complain and you should reduce the amount of sorry you dish out .
Sometimes even when you are wrong make her say sorry .

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Oritsewhandey(m): 12:33am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all
...............................................................................................

If truly she really has those discomforting attitudes; remember you can break the jinx of that her gargantuan ego! How?

Whenever she visits you, make her stay in your abode snappy. Always FAKE discussions about other SUCCESSFUL FEMALES that her bugging you. Like give another lady your number to keep calling you, whenever your girlfriend is around you. Tell same arranged masked lady to keep TEXTING you nice romantic words. When your girlfriend sees the extent of external pressures from outside ladies, she won't be able to bear it. Ladies are sore pained when they lost out from a relationship. Lolz

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by jaxxy(m): 12:38am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

She has ur MUMU button and she doing rite now is manipulating u and yes ure lossing ur value and self worth fast. To break the cycle u have to do wat u wud normally not do bt this will be quite hard becos uve already let her control ur head and she sees she can control u quite well. U must do smtn totally different and unpredictable in ur actions. U might even have to be a little bit mean to her cos rite now she sees u as soft and naive. I will direct u smtn sm1 placed on NL dat might help u. Buzz me if u need it.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by bonnyhope: 12:40am On Jul 12
I broke up with my lady becos of similar traits....she never takes correction even when is obvious that she is at fault, getting angry unnecessarily...such ladies are difficult to cope with...i advise you quit

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by JoseRaji(m): 12:40am On Jul 12
LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.
"Control issues" shey. Another Angle

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by baby124: 12:42am On Jul 12
She’s manipulative. Please dump her and find a girl you get along with easily. Life is not that bad abeg. Leave her alone to be keeping malice by herself. She also doesn’t love you enough!

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Handsomebeing(m): 12:43am On Jul 12
RUN
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Okogiemikejr(m): 12:47am On Jul 12
1. Is your relationship Godly
2. Is she adding value to your life
3. You cant love a person except you love God(God is love) so whats her relationship with God
4. Love is not a feeling but a commitment to love
5. Pride is a demonic element(does she know that)
6. What kind of family do u see yourself having?and how long do u want to be married
7. Do u and her understand what marriage is?you dont marry with warning signs or sympathy.
8. Etc

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Farzat: 12:49am On Jul 12
Hey man, that singular attitude will ruin ur marriage. U can take d blames for everything now but u can't take it forever. U will definitely get tired someday and that will be d beginning of a marriage u never hoped for. Forget about changing her in future bcoz that will even make things worse as she will feel u are controlling her know all life. I am living with a wife of d same attitude and anger has become part of me bcoz before I could recover from one quarrel another one will happen. Let me just stop here. But better leave d girl but let her know clearly d reason why you're leaving her.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by HoodBillionaire: 12:50am On Jul 12
i wan take smoke abegi
dump am move ahead
why did God create pekus
its been control dick minds,thinks,reacts and cum since way back
a woman dah boasts.keep malice..
my fomer gf dey do am to me
till d day i change am for am
d whole hostel gather
buh dem nor fit talk
if u marryvam
she fit poison u
dey lace your food constant with ogume to turn u into a complete mukaite(mugu)
or una go dey quarell.vex..curse each other..fight.break stuff.
guy man better think with your head and not the big dick

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Dami12345: 1:54am On Jul 12
Pataricatering:
Who made you her father that you will be “ correcting” her ? Is she your student ? How would she not have a bad attitude when your house is a “ correctional home “ for juvenile delinquents! You think you will be telling an adult what to do and she will like it ? Obviously your attitude to your relationship is wrong ! This is not your fathers generation where they used to “ correct “ their wives like 5 year olds ! Of course you can dump her but I seriously doubt you are going to find any girl nowadays that likes being “ corrected “ ! Otherwise you can work on your communication and learn to deal with her as an equal !

Lord!!!! So, wow, I can't even talk.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Dami12345: 1:55am On Jul 12
InvertedHammer:


Na.na. na.

At birth it is 107 boys to 100 girls.

Then before 25, it evens out because men are more prone to death due to risks, war, etc.

Beyond 25 (marriage age), women are surplus. We are talking about ladies not girls. Of course cradle-snatchers up North will beg to differ.

/

True we die faster.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by boolet: 2:08am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all
Narcissism is a mental disorder; seek professional help if you love her.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by RealityShot: 2:31am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all
dump her.

If she treats you this way now. What will happen if you marry her?

Even if she sees you as a control freak, that's no excuse for that behavior.

MOVE ON.

You are just infatuated with something about her.
Am sure if I ask you about how you met, who her parents are, etc I will find you are forcing yourself to stay in the relationship. IT'S NOT LOVE!

I should know, I have been in your shoes MORE THAN ONCE, BACK TO BACK!

(and to be clear, I am not suggesting you are in you the relationship for her parents money or connections.
You might just be feeling that if you dump her, you might not look good to her parents, church members, friends, etc. BRO it's YOU that will live with the MONSTER attitude forever OR risk a divorce!)

Break up.. Wake her up and tell her goodbye. End the holiday NOW.

(you don't need to find out she has another man. SHE DOES!
That's what is giving her the confidence to treat you that way)


YOU Can get another girlfriend if and when you want again.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by clemmonce(m): 2:45am On Jul 12
delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.
God bless you. I once dated a girl like that..... It was hell on earth..... Never apologises.... I helped her to school and all that.... Luckily for me I just pretend say I dey broke.... Then her real character started to show... She just stop calling stop sending SMS and so on...me I just dey one corner dey laugh.... It was painful though..... But I was glad I tested her it paid off.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Ategberoson: 3:27am On Jul 12
she's a choleric I think, her immune sef is full of it. a Lady that don't take corrections, accept her flaws, keeping malice can kill her husband in the future when the husband had an aggressive misunderstanding with her.


the ball is in your court but if you happen to be my blood, you won't even ask QST again, na to quit with immediate effect
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by AreaFada2: 3:32am On Jul 12
Dude it seems you've not dated many girls before your current one.
Your gf might have many great qualities BUT...if all you said is true, you have a major challenge.

People do not change for the better after marriage. Instead for the most part they relax and start showing all their dirty sides they concealed before.

But your lady is not enough bothered to conceal her worrying attitude.

Either she cannot feel remorse, too proud, never corrected growing up or she has no real love or respect for you.

With time, maybe in marriage, she'd not mind displaying same attitude in the presence of your friends and family. Or even towards them!

You need to assess things carefully. You might need a break. But start thinking of doing without her.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by neonly: 4:10am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.



Never bi afraid to loose what u like or love most it d beginning of some one doom
Thank you all
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Penistrate: 4:15am On Jul 12
If you marry a good wife you become happy, but if you marry a bad one you become a philosopher....I.e always trying to manage unpleasant scenarios. There're a lot of better ladies out there, leave this one if you want a happy marriage or prepare to be complaining your private life severally in social media like this.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by stpat1(m): 4:42am On Jul 12
The tall and short of the story is that you are the one in Love.
When a woman is in love, she practically becomes a vegetable.
The ball is in your court.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by apollo13(m): 4:50am On Jul 12
You've made her feel u cant do without her, the rate at which u love her is more than the ways she loves you, and she's capitalizing on that weakness,try and get someone to talk to her, I mean someone very close to her and if shes still adamant, drop her asap. If she doesn't change now, she will be worse when u eventually marry her. Mark my words!
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by doskie(m): 5:00am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all
its called emotional blackmail. browse and read about it. you are a victim of emotional blackmail. sometimes we often spoil and pamper our companions into this bad habit by not making them know from the onset that we will not be blackmailed emotionally. its a mind game. you cannot spend the rest of your life with her. i was once in your shoes, i called the girl and told her i want out. i explained to her that its not in my character to double date, else i would have done that, so to be honest, i want to be with someone who is human enough to feel guilty and feel disturbed when things are going wrong between us, you SHOULD NOT ! I REPEAT !!! YOU SHOULD NOT ALLOW YOUR HEART DECEIVE YOU INTO THINKING AN EMOTIONAL BULLY WILL CHANGE !!! You will always be her victim, and some are psychopaths, if eventually you stay long enough in keeping a grudge with her, she may increase the extent of her evil by attacking you one day with a broken bottle, taking solace in cheating on you thinking shes having her pound of flesh, or employing whatever machination necessary to keep you within her powers and manage all your affairs in her own liking. the world is full of beautiful, nice and submissive women. go for one

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by front4line: 5:01am On Jul 12
LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

I swear to God your head no correct.
So you are suppose to leave the door open while using the toilet. You must be exceedingly foolish.

6 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Rogosa(m): 5:05am On Jul 12
Well, I will agree with you that there is something wrong with her according to your write up. But on a serious note, Love conquers all. I was in a similar relationship 8yrs ago but I kept my cool even when she embarrassed me in the the presence of her family. What helped me was dialogue! Just talking to her about the whole stuff she has been getting wrong with her flaws. Yes, it took time but she came out refined as gold.
Im not sure if my procedure can work for similar issues or rather quit the relationship. Above all, Love conquers all!

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Vmaqween(f): 5:09am On Jul 12
in a nutshell bro, she doesn't value the relationship because if she does, for the sake of peace you should just say am sorry

it cost nothing

If she can't apologize.Just let her be

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Vmaqween(f): 5:11am On Jul 12
doskie:
its called emotional blackmail. browse and read about it. you are a victim of emotional blackmail. sometimes we often spoil and pamper our companions into this bad habit by not making them know from the onset that we will not be blackmailed emotionally. its a mind game. you cannot spend the rest of your life with her. i was once in your shoes, i called the girl and told her i want out. i explained to her that its not in my character to double date, else i would have done that, so to be honest, i want to be with someone who is human enough to feel guilty and feel disturbed when things are going wrong between us, you SHOULD NOT ! I REPEAT !!! YOU SHOULD NOT ALLOW YOUR HEART DECEIVE YOU INTO THINKING AN EMOTIONAL BULLY WILL CHANGE !!! You will always be her victim, and some are psychopaths, if eventually you stay long enough in keeping a grudge with her, she may increase the extent of her evil by attacking you one day with a broken bottle, taking solace in cheating on you thinking shes having her pound of flesh, or employing whatever machination necessary to keep you within her powers. the world is full of beautiful, nice and submissive women. go for one

Your comment caught me
Sounds so matured

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by dnapstar(m): 5:20am On Jul 12
While it wont be nice judge her just from hesring one side of the story, my advice to you is for you to be patient. If you truly love her, you have to find a way to make it work period.
Stop looking for excuses and start looking for solutions to make your relationship work.
There is no perfect individual, put her good and bad attributes on a scale and see which weights the most.
If you truly want someone, you will find a way to keep her, else you would find an excuse.
Real love no be for mouth na by action.
Show her real love by your actions or you let the relationship be if your not certain about your love for her.
Look for ways to make her understand the things you dont like, explain to her in love. You have to stick with her since your sure you trully love her.

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply)

Childish Ways Most Guys Behave That Has Got To Stop / Owner Warns Those Who Have Sex On His Car In Iju, Lagos (Photo) / Romance Section Chat Room I

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2018 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 337
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.