Rosebloom:
A good number of ladies stay in relationships where the guy beats them up.

They complain and whine about the beating but you see them back with same guy even before you could say fetch.

What is the rationale behind staying with an abusive partner?

MissRaine69:

When someone breaks your spirit to the point that you actually fail to see how you can ever move on
You stay.
When your self worth, self esteem is lower than the ground. You routinely justify the jekyll and hyde personas of the man.
He hits you but says he is sorry but then he hits you again and takes you on holiday. Yesterday when he hit you it was because he said you made him angry.
When pastors, parents, village elders whole families keep telling you not to disgrace the family, rationalise domestic violence by telling you that they too used to get beaten up but here they are. So why should you leave?
When society places that expectation on a women’s head to stay “ for the sake of the children”
When you have no where else to go.
Finally our Nigerian society encorages it.
I have heard more than once “ He beats you? Well at least he does not cheat on you!”

Rosebloom:



This here has given me something to think about all day.

I understand the Jekyll and Hyde part, I have this friend whose boyfriend blows hot and cold and when hot he says lots of ugly things, Now this is a guy that stays offshore. She will call me and complain, I will ask her if that's what she wants; a man that walks all over her emotion and blames it on having a bad work day.

I ask her if she would want to settle down with his kind, he's far and acts this way, then when you live in same house as he, he'll definitely beat you up after a bad day at work.

She goes on and tells me how she would take a break from the relationship but within two days, she calls and tells me he has apologized and how she really loves him. (oh! and how he sent her money)

This happens almost on a monthly basis, and I can't seem to rationalize it.

MissRaine69:

Because he has got into her head. He knows her inadequacies, the things she is insecure about and uses those things to convince her that no one else will have her. There are men and women too who are masters at being manipulative emotionally and psychologically. These individuals are narcissistic personality wise. I know of a woman I worked with once whose husband beats the life out of her. Twice ( that I know off) she was admitted into a hospital Intensive Care Unit. When the police were looking for the husband he left the country and then tried to end his own life. In the most dramatic manner possible.

It then became about him! He manipulated the situation to gain sympathy. In addition to that his family members were now urging her to drop the charges, threatening her by saying if their son killed himself she would have blood on her hands. The very same men who beat her so badly she needed plastic surgery reconstruction on the right side of her face.

Needless to say she is still with him 9 years later. A woman who used to be so full of life now does not even make eye contact when you speak to her. Nor does she have any friends. Yet she defends him saying he has a high pressure job and is under a lot of stress.
Not sure what manner of stress he experiences that compels him to disfigure his wife .

MissRaine69:

When someone breaks your spirit to the point that you actually fail to see how you can ever move on
You stay.
When your self worth, self esteem is lower than the ground. You routinely justify the jekyll and hyde personas of the man.
He hits you but says he is sorry but then he hits you again and takes you on holiday. Yesterday when he hit you it was because he said you made him angry.
When pastors, parents, village elders whole families keep telling you not to disgrace the family, rationalise domestic violence by telling you that they too used to get beaten up but here they are. So why should you leave?
When society places that expectation on a women’s head to stay “ for the sake of the children”
When you have no where else to go.
Finally our Nigerian society encourages it.
I have heard more than once “ He beats you? Well at least he does not cheat on you!”

dangoteinlaw:
If u beat a lady for the right reasons she will never leave. They love to be corrected, they love a man who's in control. That's how they are wired.

U better believe that

Rosebloom:
A good number of ladies stay in relationships where the guy beats them up.

They complain and whine about the beating but you see them back with same guy even before you could say fetch.

What is the rationale behind staying with an abusive partner?

MrCork:




...son. ...it's called *Okagor's law*......ones your property. .all ways your property! ! ((True story ))

MrCork:




...son. ...it's called *Okagor's law*......ones your property. .all ways your property! ! ((True story ))

dangoteinlaw:
If u beat a lady for the right reasons she will never leave. They love to be corrected, they love a man who's in control. That's how they are wired.

U better believe that