Never allow anyone pressure you into marriage, this actually is a reminder, I was been pressurized some years ago and so I almost ended up with a guy who talks anyhow and even said something annoying to my mum before me and I was like 'yeepa mogbe', his family even wants a protruding tummy before marriage and I tot to myself Adunni Ade, this has never your kind of man, everybody including friends wanted me to go ahead with the marriage when I declined, (they feel I was getting old). Well he got married a year later and I got married 4 years later.

MajorJeffery:
Na our forefathers cause am.
They prioritised marriage so much so that one would get depressed because of being single especially ladies but we of this generation have known better. Who marriage epp?

Marriage is globally appreciated oga, even by foreigners. Marriage isn't an African thing. Stop acting the fool oga.

AmazonTopaz:
So true very lovely write up.

People would be pressurizing people up and down to get married as if they would live the marriage for them. This is how some people marry the wrong persons because of pressure and unnecessary opinions of some people.
Marry for the right reasons and get the best person.

I dint know why many ladies keep using these lines..

Look here lady,forget all the ranting..there is no right or wrong person in marriage..ladies are just generally confused and they dont even know what they want and in 8 out of 10 cases after all the so called waiting and being extra careful they still make the wrong decision so what is the fuss about waiting for the right person...Taaaarh..

adedayoa2:
Never allow anyone pressure you into marriage, this actually is a reminder, I was been pressurized some years ago and so I almost ended up with a guy who talks anyhow and even said something annoying to my mum before me and I was like 'yeepa mogbe', his family even wants a protruding tummy before marriage and I tot to myself Adunni Ade, this has never your kind of man, everybody including friends wanted me to go ahead with the marriage when I declined, (they feel I was getting old). Well he got married a year later and I got married 4 years later.

And if you must be sincere..s your husband a perfect guy? does he not also have a but? i guess you settled with him regardless cos you got wiser and now understand the word tolerance.

No man is entirely good and no man is entirely bad but it is about what you make out of your choice. The mistake many ladies make is marrying who they want and have feelings for rather than marrying who wants them...Not every guy that proposes marriage really wants to be with the lady.

If you miss the age bracket of 24 to 29 for marriage as a lady. Your chances automatically becomes less than 25 percent. Most ladies want to club and have multiple sex partners at that age. Then you start blaming society and men after.

MajorJeffery:
Na our forefathers cause am.
They prioritised marriage so much so that one would get depressed because of being single especially ladies but we of this generation have known better. Who marriage epp?

Oga leave matter..marriage is very important and infact it is an institution meticulously established by GOD almighty.

Only a sexually indecent person will wave off marriage because such will only end up having sex outside marriage which is against GOD's will for us.

Guys and ladies who dont respect GOD will say marriage is not for them simply because they sleep around.

Toks2008:


And if you must be sincere..s your husband a perfect guy? does he not also have a but? i guess you settled with him regardless cos you got wiser and now understand the word tolerance.

No man is entirely good and no man is entirely bad but it is about what you make out of your choice. The mistake many ladies make is marrying who they want and have feelings for rather than marrying who wants them...Not every guy that proposes marriage really wants to be with the lady.

na, I actually had feelings for him o, I'm married to the man I left for him then. But I saw the difference and I was like what kind of mistake I'm I about to make.

//
Any lady above 28 and is too much into Jesus/Religion should come with a warning label. If you visit her Facebook wall and all you see are Bible quotations, run for the hills. It is a bait.

Don't buy into the scam.

//

bezimo:
I bet she is in her 30s..women that feel a need to downplay marriage and trivialise their inability to achieve that status are usually bitter frustrated single women..

When you were in your 20s..you were probably yangaing and hoeing around when the men were coming..instead of deciding for one of tge guys and setyling down..now you are in your 30s..the reasonable available men aint coming again rather, they are turing to the 20s girl...whats the result...you hear stuff like...marriage is not for everyone..its better been single than married and not happy...marriage is not an achievement...

Spot on bro.

I just pity these ladies who think they have time until they wake up to realize that they are 30 already and trust me on this,,,most guys would rather want a lady in her 20s because they see any 30 and above as desperate.

Another problem with ladies is their way of life at a younger age...most guys just hate it when a lady has too many body counts regardless so live a decent life so that even if you are above 30 and single,any guy will still respect you.

Lifeoffjay16:
If you miss the age bracket of 24 to 29 for marriage as a lady. Your chances automatically becomes less than 25 percent. Most ladies want to club and have multiple sex partners at that age. Then you start blaming society and men after.

thank God out didn't say 'all'

adedayoa2:
na, I actually had feelings for him o, I'm married to the man I left for him then. But I saw the difference and I was like what kind of mistake I'm I about to make.

I like that...sometimes it is better to try other men and see which is better.

I had a wonderful ex who was all i ever wanted in a lady but because i met her when she was 19 and infact i was her first guy,she did not know my worth which is perfectly normal since she has never dated any other guy.

So about 6 years ago after a whole 11years of an affair with me she said she wanted a break cos she feels she has been caged all her years...i knew instantly that she wanted to be free to see if she can get something better so i let her go.....guess what..three years latter she ran back to me nd i forgave her but too bad i had to move on with my life.

You were lucky that you still met the guy you left when you retraced your steps cos if he had moved on,you may still be single till now.

Toks2008:


I like that...sometimes it is better to try other men and see which is better.

I had a wonderful ex who was all i ever wanted in a lady but because i met her when she was 19 and infact i was her first guy,she did not know my worth which is perfectly normal since she has never dated any other guy.

So about 6 years ago after a whole 11years of an affair with me she said she wanted a break cos she feels she has been caged all her years...i knew instantly that she wanted to be free to see if she can get something better so i let her go.....guess what..three years latter she ran back to me nd i forgave her but too bad i had to move on with my life.

You were lucky that you still met the guy you left when you retraced your steps cos if he had moved on,you may still be single till now.

walahi I am o and I thank him almost everyday for forgiving me because he knew about the other guy and knew I was all out for marriage then. And though he isn't perfect but I'm happy I got married to him.

Herrmes:
You're part of the problem not the solution. Is that where you'll rather be?

I am not part of the problem..the women are the problem

Toks2008:


Spot on bro.

I just pity these ladies who think they have time until they wake up to realize that they are 30 already and trust me on this,,,most guys would rather want a lady in her 20s because they see any 30 and above as desperate.

Another problem with ladies is their way of life at a younger age...most guys just hate it when a lady has too many body counts regardless so live a decent life so that even if you are above 30 and single,any guy will still respect you.

what's with this 20's and 30's you guys talk about all the time? You think all ladies fall for that? Ladies in their 30's tend to make more mistakes and cause of that most of them try as much as possible not to make bigger mistakes. Don't be deceived o

cosmatika:
I didn't bother reading the long tweet, but this is wat I have to say;
All an average Nigerian lady can offer to a man is just sex.
Just this night I logged into In Messenger, one lady chatted me up, after exchange of pleasantries, she asked me if I wanted hookup? I told her no. She asked me why I'm on the platform if I don't want hookups, I told her I just wanted to make friends, that I'm not interested in sex as I have more productive things to do with my life. She started insulting me that I must be very stingy, that I'm looking for oshofree. I was just imagining, shey na person go marry dis one tomorrow?

that must be instamessenger...... all the girls there are hoes... I didn't know so I registered and every girl was just about hook ups. one charged me up same way wen I told her I wasn't interested In hookups nor sex she started raining insults on me that am looking for who to fork me for free....... I just deleted my account and the app straight after that incident and never went back there

Toks2008:


I dint know why many ladies keep using these lines..

Look here lady,forget all the ranting..there is no right or wrong person in marriage..ladies are just generally confused and they dont even know what they want and in 8 out of 10 cases after all the so called waiting and being extra careful they still make the wrong decision so what is the fuss about waiting for the right person...Taaaarh..

Not me and speak for yourself.You do not know all ladies in Nigeria so no need using the emotional line.As far as it is my life I am not ranting,Also Mr man there is something called a right and wrong person when it comes to marriage hence why it is advisable one marries someone he/she is compatible with.
I know exactly what I want because I am very focused and not confused.I won't settle for less.
I won't rush into something that is not meant to be because of people's opinion.
When something is meant to be it would happen at the right time time with the right person and for the best reason.
No need pitying people who are not yet married according to your own age range of marriage it is their lives not yours.

hisMrs:

Nigga wake up! Being forced into a relationship doesn't make you a mindless person. Some people just try to please their parents. So mothers go to the extent of threatening to place cause on their children if they don't oblige. It's obvious u are inexperienced and u are talking based on "I think".

I laugh at your ignorance of the wrong use of the word "inexperienced" however if your mum or friend or dad forces you to marry or go into a relationship your heart doesn't go with you're expected to meet a doomed end. I'm not talking from the "if" aspect I'm telling you reality. So ure the one that needs to wake up to reality and not the "caused" world of people trying to pleased their parents. I still maintain my stand, if you're being forced into any relationship your mind doesn't agree with you should be expecting a doomed end. Ceist Fini

Jiang:
The marriage issue aside, since as a couple you must share a room together, a bed together( this one pains me most, I can't enjoy my big bed alone!!!), toilet, bathroom etc. Therefore you must make sure you are ready for that commitment which is where loves comes in. isn't it wonderful, it makes you lower your standards just to accommodate each others short fall


Anyways, did she just said SHE LEFT THE SUPREME COURT TO BE AN UNKNOWN WRITER( AFTER UR PARENTS SPENT MILLIONS ON YOU!!!!) Can't you multi-task, after all every unemployed dick & harry is a writer too, you can see them littering the blogosphere's and social media with useless crap.

Well, I hope both you & ur parents are happy, I wish luck in ur "writing"

spot on

adedayoa2:
walahi I am o and I thank him almost everyday for forgiving me because he knew about the other guy and knew I was all out for marriage then. And though he isn't perfect but I'm happy I got married to him.

I wish you the best..

LordKO:
The importance of one living life at the periphery of conventionalism and doing so conscientiously can never be overemphasized. It takes a whole lot of guts to do so, and such is the true hallmarks of self-realization and independence, respectively.

I like your english

LordKO:
The importance of one living life at the periphery of conventionalism and doing so conscientiously can never be overemphasized. It takes a whole lot of guts to do so, and such is the true hallmarks of self-realization and independence, respectively.

I like your english

AmazonTopaz:
Thank goodness you said you did not read the write up so let me not waste my time on that but to correct you that not every Nigerian lady has just sex to offer some of us have intelligence,vision,financial assistance etc to offer the right men.
It is only irresponsible men that would say Nigerian ladies only have sex to offer.

He clearly said average Nigerian girls, keyword average. No need to get wired up.

AmazonTopaz:
So true very lovely write up.

People would be pressurizing people up and down to get married as if they would live the marriage for them. This is how some people marry the wrong persons because of pressure and unnecessary opinions of some people.
Marry for the right reasons and get the best person.

Ok

InvertedHammer:
/
If you can't get married to A, B, C....all the way to Z, then something is definitely wrong. No one is asking ladies to marry the first pointdexter that shows up. Married women are not any happier than single ladies but wetin person reach no be like long throat.

I am yet to see any culture where marriage is not admired and encouraged. If you want to believe programmed TV shows, oh well. The reality is all around you and not data online. The reason many people are talking about it online or offline is because it is a big deal. But anyone in doubt is free to create her own reality. No person is an island. Dem go still judge your matter whether you like or not. Pray to God to give you serenity over things you cannot change. Pressure to marry na one of them.

/

Good points..

White wedding is not african , it's white..

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be attached to his wife.. its biblical.

These are not african but general universal accepted ways of human existence.

In united states for example you won't be elected into the highest office if you are not married and have managed your marriage well , so people shouldnt africanize and demonize it just because the pressure is there..

Toks2008:


I dint know why many ladies keep using these lines..

Look here lady,forget all the ranting..there is no right or wrong person in marriage..ladies are just generally confused and they dont even know what they want and in 8 out of 10 cases after all the so called waiting and being extra careful they still make the wrong decision so what is the fuss about waiting for the right person...Taaaarh..

Thank you

CanadianEnginee:


To most of you, marrying the right person means marrying the highest bidder. Come to think of it this way, how can you live from 18 to 26 without someone wanting to marry you or you finding someone who can marry you. There's time for everyone, that's what most of you should know. There's time for primary school, time to breakfast, time to go to work and also time to get married. If you wanna do it outside the normal time, it could be difficult for you. The sad reality is that men especially in Africa, do not like marrying women who are 28 years and above. If you live a good life, even if you're aren't beautiful, men will be dying to marry you. Back to the issue of not marrying someone you like, most naija women have this inflated self worth. You'll see an average looking girl seeking to marry a guy who is 5 times better looking than she is, without makeup. You see a girl without 200k in her existence wanting to marry a millionaire. You girls are seriously punching above your weight and think you deserve to. Come down to you level and you'll see that the men are the ones who should be complaining of marrying women aren't fine without makeup, nothing else to add to marriage except the pu:$$y which men get tired of easily

Your opinion as for me money is secondary.Some of us are productive enough.
I can make myself happy but in regards to marriage I need to marry someone who I would be happy with and enjoy marriage and not endure just because I need to marry.
If age is a criteria for most African men then it is safe to say these men do not know what they want .
You made some points though.
As for 18 to 26 some do have priorities at then that does not concern marriage.

adedayoa2:
Never allow anyone pressure you into marriage, this actually is a reminder, I was been pressurized some years ago and so I almost ended up with a guy who talks anyhow and even said something annoying to my mum before me and I was like 'yeepa mogbe', his family even wants a protruding tummy before marriage and I tot to myself Adunni Ade, this has never your kind of man, everybody including friends wanted me to go ahead with the marriage when I declined, (they feel I was getting old). Well he got married a year later and I got married 4 years later.

Ok

I quite agree but don't allow me spend money and efforts planning a wedding and later you call it off at the last minute. just tell me jeje


No lady can invest so much in a relationship or planning for a wedding and later call it off, hence the reason why ladies would commit suicide or kill their intended spouse and themselves.

AmazonTopaz:


Your opinion as for me money is secondary.Some of us are productive enough.
I can make myself happy but in regards to marriage I need to marry someone who I would be happy with and enjoy marriage and not endure just because I need to marry.
If age is a criteria for most African men then it is safe to say these men do not know what they want .
You made some points though.
As for 18 to 26 some do have priorities at then that does not concern marriage.

I never said 'ALL' women.

Thank you and leave those ladies to do what they wanna do.

CanadianEnginee:


I never said 'ALL' women. I used 'some' and 'most'. If a girl between the age of 18 to 26 doesn't have marriage as one of her plans then when would she want to settle down? In her 30s? This is the same mistake most of you make. Don't forget that she'll be competing with the younger ones for the few eligible men. It's not as if most of you are preoccupied with your career or some other reasonable stuffs but just love gallivanting from one man to the other. It's your life, do what you wanna do.

CanadianEnginee:


Aunty, but if you were a young calm woman, who lived a good life, no sane man will ask you to get pregnant before marriage. Men are just getting wise in checkmating the lives most of you lived. You can't blame him, he's right. I'm sure you'll want the same for your son, with the kind of promiscuity on town.

my dear its not about lived a good life, his family said that was what they wanted because 2 of their uncles don't have kids after some 30 years of marriage and since then its been their tradition.

InvertedHammer:
/
If you can't get married to A, B, C....all the way to Z, then something is definitely wrong. No one is asking ladies to marry the first pointdexter that shows up. Married women are not any happier than single ladies but wetin person reach no be like long throat.

I am yet to see any culture where marriage is not admired and encouraged. If you want to believe programmed TV shows, oh well. The reality is all around you and not data online. The reason many people are talking about it online or offline is because it is a big deal. But anyone in doubt is free to create her own reality. No person is an island. Dem go still judge your matter whether you like or not. Pray to God to give you serenity over things you cannot change. Pressure to marry na one of them.

/

But you're not married or is it recently divorced?

If marriage was so ecclesiastical, why couldn't you save your marriage?