Jamean:


Did you read proof what you typed before submitting it? Because it's not comprehensive and doesn't make sense. It's a human being you're using the word reject for upandan like this.

Please don't quote me again.

I'll quote you until you start thinking rationally.
The girl was bundled out of her father's house and handed over to the mother in church, hence she was rejected.

revolt:
were not even sure she rejected her. Mayb the guy isnt so buoyant n is envious the mum was doing fine. Dead beat

But you're sure op is buoyant enough to take care of her right?
Nice logic.

that child could become great tomorrow...pls take her

remioshy:
Please if you love your wife truly you will love and take her daughter. I already had a daughter when I met my husband, he won my heart the moment he told me he wants to marry me and be a father to my daughter and whatever God provide for him he will take care of me and my daughter, my mother insisted I leave m6 daughter with her but my husband said no way, my daughter moved in with us the next day after our wedding. She was 5 yrs old. Fast forward to now 21 yrs later, he is the best dad I can ever wish for, my daughter loves him to bits, she confides in him more than myself, she loved him more than her biological father who is even nowhere to be found, We did not have a child of our own unfortunately but he always insisted my daughter, is enough for him, My husband is one in a million, a good man. So Man up and take the child in if you really love your wife . A child should be with her mum. Your family cannot live your life for you. My husbands family said lots of things especially my mother in law, called my husband nanny and child minder, but my husband ignores all of them. Today my daughter is the one taking care of his needs , if you don’t know us from beginning you won’t belief he is not her biological father. Yoruba proverbs says “ Eni to bini, ko to Enito wo ni dagba ”

Beautiful! What an inspiring testimony...I salute you, sister! They don't make good men like your husband, anymore.

Elder001:
That is in other countries not Nigeria.

also, alimony doesn't exist in the Nigerian constitution.

Where did you hear that one??

perfectedmee:
Dealing with the dad?
If the boy was important 2 gim, he did be growing up in his House na.

I've been paying his fees, I HV been dre even at his birth.

If the Father was responsible the mum wouldn't be my fiancée.

Correct guy! Abeg, chop knuckle my man!

Elder001:
Truer words have never been said.

Most men don't have a problem with this issue but if it is the other way round the women won't want to set their eyes on the kid especially if the man is wealthy.

All these women berating the man on this thread are not normal. Instead of them to direct their grievances to the idiot who rejected his own blood they're blaming the OP.

A typical African woman can't condole what men condole every day in the family.

Which truer words? If a man has children outside wedlock before he got married, and he is upfront about it during courtship, most women would accept the child. In fact, a wise man would wait to see how his kids interact with his new babe, before he proposes marriage to her.

The only time most women have a problem accepting a man's kids, is if he goes outside to play an away match after they are married, and that affair resulted in a child, whose existence he concealed from his wife, despite the fact that they both stay under the same roof! By the time the wife eventually finds out and the shiit hits the fan, trust me - she would refuse to let the man's away kids into her house out of anger, simply because he cheated on her.

Women who grew up in polygamous homes, (or in a muslim setting however), seem to be able to cope better with such things. In the North, a lot of women will accept a man's kids who were born, before they got married to such a man.

revolt:
the man is nt freaking heartless he owes no obligation for a child he ddnt cum for. He just entered one chance. Whay about the mans kids born in wedlock u think the court will destroy theor lives because of a child born out of wedlock. The woman should be ready to let fo off the legitimate ones and go and take care of the illegitimate. Cos of one dsyfuctional kid u destroy the lives of the rest ..and destroy the mans family. He can accept the child but the child will suffer if hes forced .

He did not enter one chance. He knew about the woman's child, long before he married her. He could have chosen to walk away from her then, if he did not want anything to do with her past baggage.

foolbuster:


So in other words if it is a boy then he should continue staying with the dad but since it is a girl the father is right to suddenly disrupt her life and ship her to the mum without giving a damn what happens to her so he can start a new life with another woman whom I am sure wants the girl out and brainwashed the mofo. See reasoning Who told you the woman was not part of the girl's life before or you think the girl does not know her mum? So irrespective of how the OP feels he should accept another man's child being forced down his throat. What makes you think if the girls stays with him she will have a good normal life my dear marriage is a partnership stop being selfish, I don't know if you will accept another man's son midway into your marriage with your husband and children but not everyone can.

I advocate for all children to be with their mums when they are still really young. The boys should be raised by their fathers when they are teenagers. Trust me it’s very difficult for a woman to raise a boy child without a good fatherly influence. It’s only the grace of God!

I also advocate that girls should stay with their mothers when they approach puberty. So many changes in a female child’s body that only a mother or a caring female family member can help her through! I did not marry a baby daddy, in fact I consciously avoided it because that life was not for me. If I married one I would love his kids because I knew what I was getting into like the OP. If they need a place to stay, I cannot turn them away.

The fact is OP’s wife is an irresponsible mother. She abandoned her child with the father so that she can get married. In fact she married a man that did not want to see her child or love her child! 7yrs! A mother left her child with the father for 7yrs! Not even a holiday with her child. She had had 7yrs of not being bothered by the child’s presence in her matrimonial home. Don’t you think her baby daddy also deserves that courtesy she enjoyed as well as a newly married man? Or you think his wife did not observe that her own mother saw her as an inconvenience and is enjoying her life like the daughter does not exist.

Why blame New wifey for putting her foot down and also demanding the freedom in her new home that the OP and wife enjoyed for 7yrs? The OP must carry his cross. He married her mum, the little girl is a packaged deal. He cannot wish her away, neither can he adopt her. He should meet her father for proper agreements on financial decisions on the child. They should also leave grandma out of this.

Grandma did not ask all of them to enter the situation they found themselves. Grandma should be living out her last days in peace and enjoying her life on her own terms. Not cleaning up the mess of 4 idiots who think marriage and bring a parent is a fairytale. How can someone suffer to raise their kids in their young age then suffer in old age to raise a baby!

They should take care of their responsibilities. Marriage is not a joke and should not be entered into with crazy expectations as expecting your spouse to abandon their family and children for you! It should also never be entered into with assumptions or beliefs that you can handle something that clearly is not for you!

revolt:
true as this may seem nothing justifies a dad sending out his own child hed trained for 7 yrs. The stoty doesnt evn add. The wife is hardwrkn n the guy was wth the child? 7yrs?.guy has no justificatiom. He shd b glad the babymama left his dota wth him.

I feel you bro, trust me. This is one side of the story.

beinstein:

But you're sure op is buoyant enough to take care of her right?
Nice logic.

no i clearly stated here op has no biz caring for another mans child. He probably doesn't even know if his wife had been telling the truth all the while ie the child had been wth the dad for 7 yrs. Tke note ..the child is 7. So the man's been wt the child from birth. Ive nvr hrd tht b4

karika2018:
that child could become great tomorrow...plsp take her

the child could equally become a torn on their flesh...so

LaudableXX:

Beautiful! What an inspiring testimony...I salute you, sister! They don't make good men like your husband, anymore.

mtchweee fke story. Well wizkid get private jet.. its social media

LaudableXX:


Which truer words? If a man has children outside wedlock before he got married, and he is upfront about it during courtship, most women would accept the child. In fact, a wise man would wait to see how his kids interact with his new babe, before he proposes marriage to her.

The only time most women have a problem accepting a man's kids, is if he goes outside to play an away match after they are married, and that affair resulted in a child, whose existence he concealed from his wife, despite the fact that they both stay under the same roof! By the time the wife eventually finds out and the shiit hits the fan, trust me - she would refuse to let the man's away kids into her house out of anger, simply because he cheated on her.

Women who grew up in polygamous homes, (or in a muslim setting however), seem to be able to cope better with such things. In the North, a lot of women will accept a man's kids who were born, [b]before [/b]they got married to such a man.

stop spewing wt u dnt know maam. Women hardly accept the mans kid except theyre big..they only manage because they cnt do nyfin. After all the mans paying the bills. Show me a woman tht can spnd on anoda womans child. If the mans broke. Never. Even to spend on her man hell pay 3 folds in future tlkless of a child she no born

freddaboh:


That's a good one if you really meant it. That's your own decision and it will be binding on you. But I still believe that it's wrong to force the OP to accept what he is not comfortable with, this is real life situation and definitely not Bollywood. I pray that the little innocent girl gets a good home where she can get all the love she deserves. Amen.

Spokesman ,show ur boss this.......maybe this will soften his heart a bit.

LaudableXX:

Where did you hear that one??

In the matrimonial causes act only people who were formerly married can ask for child support.

A baby mama can't sue for child support in Nigeria because there's no evidence of marriage.

revolt:
stop spewing wt u dnt know maam. Women hardly accept the mans kid except theyre big..they only manage because they cnt do nyfin. After all the mans paying the bills. Show me a woman tht can spnd on anoda womans child. If the mans broke. Never. Even to spend on her man hell pay 3 folds in future tlkless of a child she no born

Stop replying that individual. He/she lacks foresight.

revolt:
no i clearly stated here op has no biz caring for another mans child. He probably doesn't even know if his wife had been telling the truth all the while ie the child had been wth the dad for 7 yrs. Tke note ..the child is 7. So the man's been wt the child from birth. Ive nvr hrd tht b4

OK cool.
Only baby mamas, jambites and unemployed folks that know nothing about responsibilities that are trying to force the girl down op's throat.
Believe me, this is the end of this marriage. I'm sure he now understand why his family were against him marrying her in the first place.

beinstein:

OK cool.
Only baby mamas, jambites and unemployed folks that know nothing about responsibilities that are trying to force the girl down op's throat.
Believe me, this is the end of this marriage. I'm sure he now understand why his family were against him marrying her in the first place.

true talk. Unfortunate her past is destroying the home. Very unfortunate situation. The father shd simpky tke care of his child. Dead beat guy

Only in Nigeria people sees it as big deal. Once u married a woman with a child, it means u are now the step dad. If it were A celebrity u got married to wit a child, u won't mind all this. SMH

SexytorresE:
Only in Nigeria people sees it as big deal. Once u married a woman with a child, it means u are now the step dad. If it were A celebrity u got married to wit a child, u won't mind all this. SMH

which celebrity babymama don marry with the pikin? Abeggy

True talk as simple as ABC......

revolt:
the man is nt freaking heartless he owes no obligation for a child he ddnt cum for. He just entered one chance. Whay about the mans kids born in wedlock u think the court will destroy theor lives because of a child born out of wedlock. The woman should be ready to let fo off the legitimate ones and go and take care of the illegitimate. Cos of one dsyfuctional kid u destroy the lives of the rest ..and destroy the mans family. He can accept the child but the child will suffer if hes forced .

Your comments is distorted pls!

The man entered one chance ? How?? Was he not aware of the child??
He owes the child no obligation?? What?? Is he not married to her mother?? Why can't the child live with her mother? Especially when she is to cater for her?

The man is heartless! I'm a step mother! So I know exactly what's I'm talking about!
Imagine if I asked my husband to send his child away!!! God forbid evil.

For your information there is no such thing as an illegitimate child in Nigeria family law! All child whether in or out of wedlock are equal.

But you sef, where do u want the child to live

revolt:
oga if na fiancee she still be dont fvckn gock ursef. Except u know wht ure doing dont fall for that trap. Youll end up wadting ur tym. The poor child doesnt deserve whats coming for him. Marriage is a different ball game. Trust me.

The poor child doesn't deserve what coming 4 him? Seriously?
Do you prefer he grows up in grand parents home or a home with n actual family and a father figure?

revolt:
which celebrity babymama don marry with the pikin? Abeggy

close up there

lielbree:


Your comments is distorted pls!

The man entered one chance ? How?? Was he not aware of the child??
He owes the child no obligation?? What?? Is he not married to her mother?? Why can't the child live with her mother? Especially when she is to cater for her?

The man is heartless! I'm a step mother! So I know exactly what's I'm talking about!
Imagine if I asked my husband to send his child away!!! God forbid evil.

For your information there is no such thing as an illegitimate child in Nigeria family law! All child whether in or out of wedlock are equal.

But you sef, where do u want the child to live

If you can blame the OP for rejecting the child then what will you say about the idiot who rejected his own blood? and probably his wife who deceived him into returning the child?

lielbree:


Your comments is distorted pls!

The man entered one chance ? How?? Was he not aware of the child??
He owes the child no obligation?? What?? Is he not married to her mother?? Why can't the child live with her mother? Especially when she is to cater for her?

The man is heartless! I'm a step mother! So I know exactly what's I'm talking about!
Imagine if I asked my husband to send his child away!!! God forbid evil.

For your information there is no such thing as an illegitimate child in Nigeria family law! All child whether in or out of wedlock are equal.

But you sef, where do u want the child to live

Am crushing on you right now.
Gud one there.

2gether we can make this backward Africa a better place.
Kudos 2 u.

lielbree:


Your comments is distorted pls!

The man entered one chance ? How?? Was he not aware of the child??
He owes the child no obligation?? What?? Is he not married to her mother?? Why can't the child live with her mother? Especially when she is to cater for her?

The man is heartless! I'm a step mother! So I know exactly what's I'm talking about!
Imagine if I asked my husband to send his child away!!! God forbid evil.

For your information there is no such thing as an illegitimate child in Nigeria family law! All child whether in or out of wedlock are equal.

But you sef, where do u want the child to live

all you liberals and politicaly correct people.....face reality. Youre a stepmum suddenly...na so. Just to buttress this scenario. Anyways he who comes to equity must come with clean hands. The childs father should be compelled to care for the child. The poor guy has no biz in her past. When he got married he made vows to his wife and vice versa...he ddnt make vows to she and her child. She should either find a way to beg him or lure him to accept the child but if his happiness is shattered then the marriage is wrecked. So uts either she moves on. Wheres the fathers parents. Relatives etc sef? This story has too many loopholes.

Aquariann:


Hope you realize that the biological dad's wife must have seen her as an inconvenience, hence the reason the dad suddenly rejected her after seven years? And no, as a single mom, you really do not have a choice on who you marry.

Hell no! She definitely had a choice. The world does not start and ends with having a husband. Its African mentality that your success depends on having a husband at play here. I don't care what the father does, he's a man after all with society given entitlements whether misplaced or not. I repeat she should have waited to het

perfectedmee:

Am crushing on you right now.
Gud one there.

2gether we can make this backward Africa a better place.
Kudos 2 u.

science is wht makes societiesbetter not men training other kids. Matter of fact thats what destroys societies.

perfectedmee:

The poor child doesn't deserve what coming 4 him? Seriously?
Do you prefer he grows up in grand parents home or a home with n actual family and a father figure?

a father figure that doesnt want to play that role is worse for the child.

pweetyphola:


Hell no! She definitely had a choice. The world does not start and ends with having a husband. Its African mentality that your success depends on having a husband at play here. I don't care what the father does, he's a man after all with society given entitlements whether misplaced or not. I repeat she should have waited to het

u ppl make it look like its african ...abegggy.. why are oyibo women descending so low to marry poor men from 3rd world countries (70%) of them get conned but the trend still increases. Please spare me that bs. Woman naturally want a committed relationship..somehow its very important for every woman.