afroniger:


Well, we live in an imperfect world, madam, therefore my solution may not be perfect but it can sure save a few lives like the one related in the post. Men are still (and will keep) having more children out of wedlock anyway, regardless.

And how are the kids going to cope?
You don't bring kids into this world just because you can afford it.
They need more than that and you/we owe them more than that.

Their needs should comes first, not the need of their father's raging pehnis.

One thing l support is that both the man and the woman should decide on the number of kids they want. It takes two to tangle

afroniger:
Maybe polygamy will solve all this. If men are allowed to marry more than one woman without any social stigma attached, the problem is solved because then another fertile and willing woman will have the kids that the other one refuses to have for whatever reason. Problem solved. Let us be real, some men want lots of kids and shouldn't be made to feel guilty for that, especially if they can afford to take care of as many as they desire.

you seem to me like an African traditionalist or muslim.

afroniger:


Well, I feel that in life we must be realistic and keep our cards on the table. If a man lies to his wife about the state of his fertility, the woman should be free to move on if she wants kids and can't cope with such a man's disability, without being made to feel guilty. We all have a right to our happiness in life without the burden of social stigma. That is my position.

If a man or woman lies about his or her fertility and ability to have kids before marriage, provided he/she knew, the marriage can be annuled. As far as I know about marriage laws in Nigeria.

afroniger:
Maybe polygamy will solve all this. If men are allowed to marry more than one woman without any social stigma attached, the problem is solved because then another fertile and willing woman will have the kids that the other one refuses to have for whatever reason. Problem solved. Let us be real, some men want lots of kids and shouldn't be made to feel guilty for that, especially if they can afford to take care of as many as they desire.

I have been thinking along the same line recently, any woman that wouldn't give me 3 or 4 kids should expect another wife. one or two kids is not enough, more than four is too much for my current financial situation.

Bridget95:
you seem to me like an African traditionalist or muslim.

I am neither. But I consider myself a practical and pragmatic man.

afroniger:


Well, I feel that in life we must be realistic and keep our cards on the table. If a man lies to his wife about the state of his fertility, the woman should be free to move on if she wants kids and can't cope with such a man's disability, without being made to feel guilty. We all have a right to our happiness in life without the burden of social stigma. That is my position.

why can’t she keep the first husband and add another one to him?

Mgbadike80:
I have been thinking along the same line recently, any woman that wouldn't give me 3 or 4 kids should expect another wife. one or two kids is not enough, more than four is too much for my current financial situation.

Women don’t owe you children. Entitled m***foka

afroniger:


I am neither. But I consider myself a practical and pragmatic man.

Practical? Lmao

Try sexist , entitled or selfish. Those are better descriptions.

Stop using words you don’t know the meaning of

flyca:
To me, an average family has no business with more than 2 kids irrespective of gender.

Raising a child from craddle to being an independent adult who can fend for him/herself is no child's play, especially the financial aspect.

To raise a child for the international stage, a child that will conquer poverty early, the parents have to be waded and fully present. From early language school, to sports coaching, to music lessons, to make-up classes, to vacations both within and outside the country. etc.

Anything outside these, most other times, the child will grow up average, then grow through In Nigeria institutions, and begin to stand in job queue. The rest of unsatisfactory pay, no leaves, no allowances, to paid vacations etc. The cycle of poverty continues. The govt cares not for you or your kid(s)! So you have to take full responsiblity, EARLY.

I love this . Are u a he or a she Single or married

lagosrd:


So saving life doesn't superceed husband decision in emergency again?
Well these crap of a professional gan. And she was allowed to bleed till death right in front of them..... The man never killed her those unprofessional guys did.

no matter what, if a patient or relative refuses treatment, doctors have no right to intervene cos they can be sued for it. if they went ahead and did it, people like you would say, sue the hospital.

it is the same reason many Jehovah witness women die on the operating table becos they refuse blood transfusion.

Doctors respect the human body. it is the owners choice.

Men are very evil. Women beware.

cococandy:


Practical? Lmao

Try sexist , entitled or selfish. Those are better descriptions.

Stop using words you don’t know the meaning of

Like seriously? Lol. Humans are inherently selfish so save me the sanctimonious posturing. The woman that prefers to impose her infertility on her husband (or that is insisting on having a limited number of kids against her husband's desire) in the name of 'marriage vows' isn't being selfish abi? Abegi spare me. More marriages are ending in divorce inspite of all these vows. Couples are cheating on each other inspite of their vows. Men are having children out of wedlock in spite of their 'vows'. Look, all these have been happening since time immemorial and will not stop anytime soon. Life ain't perfect so we are all just trying to augment tough situations like this that life throws at us.. The earlier we accept and come to terms with that simple fact, the better for us all.

cococandy:
why can’t she keep the first husband and add another one to him?

Omo, if such a woman finds a man/men that is/are willing, why not? Such arrangement is already happening in some other parts of the world.

Women, you are supposed to know that bringing fort a child is not a child play
From conception to delivering is a very sensitive stage in a woman life
Be grateful for which ever gender God gives you
Don't birth a child to impress your husband
If by tomorrow anything happens to you, he must marry another woman and those kids will definitely suffer in the hands of their step mother
Be wise your life no get duplicate

flyca:
To me, an average family has no business with more than 2 kids irrespective of gender.

Raising a child from craddle to being an independent adult who can fend for him/herself is no child's play, especially the financial aspect.

To raise a child for the international stage, a child that will conquer poverty early, the parents have to be waded and fully present. From early language school, to sports coaching, to music lessons, to make-up classes, to vacations both within and outside the country. etc.

Anything outside these, most other times, the child will grow up average, then grow through In Nigeria institutions, and begin to stand in job queue. The rest of unsatisfactory pay, no leaves, no allowances, to paid vacations etc. The cycle of poverty continues. The govt cares not for you or your kid(s)! So you have to take full responsiblity, EARLY.

You are beautiful and intelligent.

ghostmist:
So they couldn't stop the bleeding...?

They had to wait for her to die in order to blame the man.

stupid excuses I think too.

Sometimes, it amazed one why they will put stupid laws above human life. I prayed the Lord to give us more wisdom to make the right decisions on life.

All of them saying childbirth is dangerous. No be their ancestor cause am? When she go chop fruit and God laid down curse of pain during childbirth on them. Abegi make unable shift Jare. Don't blame men, blame your ancestor, Eve.

mfm04622:


Removing the womb would have stopped the bleeding. Husband didn't want the womb removed. How is that the doctors' fault?

If removing the womb will save the woman's life, then the doctors killed the woman, they are the murderers, because they don't need the permission of that moronn to save a life. By now he has definitely remarried another lady that will give him a boy child.
Don't men know that they're equally or even more responsible for the sex of their children as much as their partners??

[quote author=yeyerolling post=70113701]Desperation for marriage and poverty means many women would end up with lunatics and mad man. My uncles wife nearly died cos she was trying to gv him a son after 4 gals .she had complications and was advised not to take in. Madam no gree took in again. Had twins male survived female died . Wife spent 6 months in hospital as she almost died. Pikin na pikin abeg dangote no even get male child [/quote

You could be right or we could be wrong.

nawao

Doctors respect the human body....They don't and can't perform any procedure without outright permission...It's left to the person

tomdon:



If removing the womb will save the woman's life, then the doctors killed the woman, they are the murderers, because they don't need the permission of that moronn to save a life. By now he has definitely remarried another lady that will give him a boy child.
Don't men know that they're equally or even more responsible for the sex of their children as much as their partners??

afroniger:
Maybe polygamy will solve all this. If men are allowed to marry more than one woman without any social stigma attached, the problem is solved because then another fertile and willing woman will have the kids that the other one refuses to have for whatever reason. Problem solved. Let us be real, some men want lots of kids and shouldn't be made to feel guilty for that, especially if they can afford to take care of as many as they desire.

You are right, but enemies of polygamy will attack you. Anyway, out of marriage children full everywhere

cococandy:


Practical? Lmao

Try sexist , entitled or selfish. Those are better descriptions.

Stop using words you don’t know the meaning of

Because you hate polygamy does not make it wrong. After all, most men sleep with women other than their wives.

Benbobola:
All of them saying childbirth is dangerous. No be their ancestor cause am? When she go chop fruit and God laid down curse of pain during childbirth on them. Abegi make unable shift Jare. Don't blame men, blame your ancestor, Eve.

Why must we be blamed for the sin of our so called ancestors. Isn't that unfair

Catsmith:
African with male preference is bad pikin na pikin Biko....assuming the parents of ngozi okonjo iweala had only her she is worth more than 10 make child. My opinion though

How do you calculate human worth to decide who's worth 10 times the other?.
It's good we make our point without resorting to sexism. She's good at what she does no doubt about that.

Holocene:
American women tie their tubes after 2 kids and the husband can't say shit. She owns her life and husband can come and go.

Marriage ain't a do or die affair

Na you dey tie am for them abi

yeyerolling:
Desperation for marriage and poverty means many women would end up with lunatics and mad man. My uncles wife nearly died cos she was trying to gv him a son after 4 gals .she had complications and was advised not to take in. Madam no gree took in again. Had twins male survived female died . Wife spent 6 months in hospital as she almost died. Pikin na pikin abeg dangote no even get male child

The worst part is that the man determines the sex of a child because of the Y chromosome the have however the woman gets blamed. Ignorance is a disease.

tomdon:



If removing the womb will save the woman's life, then the doctors killed the woman, they are the murderers, because they don't need the permission of that moronn to save a life. By now he has definitely remarried another lady that will give him a boy child.
Don't men know that they're equally or even more responsible for the sex of their children as much as their partners??

The law said doctors need consent of either the patient or their relatives. So what do you want doctors to do? Break the law and be sued and their license withdrawn?

Tomoyayi:


Na you dey tie am for them abi

Yes sir....its something I see everyday

IamHeWrites:
There's a trending debate on Twitter regarding women and childbirth and this debate has led to a lot of revelations.

Mothers took to Twitter to narrate all the complications that childbirth entails and how they do not want to have many children as a result. But some men felt it was selfish of them to choose to have only a few kids because they don't want to go through the pains of childbirth, and called them out for it.

One male Twitter user, who goes by the moniker Dr Maxvayshia, wrote;


In reply, a lot of women shared stories of women who died because they pushed their bodies beyond what it could do. One story stood out because of how tragic it is.

Narrating the incident, Vashti wrote;


https://www.torimill.co/viral/9329/lady-died-after-her-husband-refused-to-allow-doctors-take-out-her-ruptured-womb.html

The Man needs to be arrested for culpable homicide.