My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? - Romance (2) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? (14164 Views)
What Would You Do? (Breakup OR Forgive her?) / If This Hot Girl Would Cheat On You And You Would Still Forgive Her …guranteed / How Can I Forgive Her? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Pweety4me(f): 9:33am On Jun 27, 2010 |
Menhhhh i don't even know wat 2 say. . .u know cause it's so easy 2 sit here & tell u about how u should 4give & 4get but fact still remains i am not d person in your shoes i didn't go through wat u did. Maybe family members should be kept away from partners? i don't think u were so cautious wif your sis & your man i don't think u should have allowed dat afterall it's not his responsibility?  all i can say now is dat u should soften your heart try & 4get all them painful memories as a christian u know dat u should 4give & 4get as hard as it may be so i think dat's wat u should work 2wards doing or u could end up bitter 4 d rest of your lyfe. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Benqozenero(m): 9:46am On Jun 27, 2010 |
Carolece pls let go because thats the only way u can be stronger. Believe it or not you still love your sister and thats the reason you still think about it thus it hinders your progression somehow. U'v lost and i believe u dont want to loss anymore because its not worth it so let go. The lord is ur strenght, |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by akwaowoudo(m): 11:40am On Jun 27, 2010 |
Missy B:There's something i've just understood from your write-up. Instead of dwelling within the context of the act, you are busy castigating men. Castigation proceeds! _ stolen waters are the sweetest. Did the boyfriend force the sister into the act? Oh! No. She widely opened her thighs. Now to the issue of choice, dignity and respect; i want to point it out that 55% of men do possesss whereas only 2% of women have these. Taking your mind back to the biblical days, if the serpent could subdue Eve then why won't men subdue daughters of Eve. Almost all sinful act pertaining to sex is orchestrated by women; you invite and i come. You invite in divers ways _ postures, dress code, etc. No matter the danggling you know what i mean. My utmost happiness is that all agreement weren't signed on bed else women would have . . . . |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by akwaowoudo(m): 11:41am On Jun 27, 2010 |
Missy B:There's something i've just understood from your write-up. Instead of dwelling within the context of the act, you are busy castigating men. Castigation proceeds! _ stolen waters are the sweetest. Did the boyfriend force the sister into the act? Oh! No. She widely opened her thighs. Now to the issue of choice, dignity and respect; i want to point it out that 55% of men do possesss whereas only 2% of women have these. Taking your mind back to the biblical days, if the serpent could subdue Eve then why won't men subdue daughters of Eve. Almost all sinful act pertaining to sex is orchestrated by women; you invite and i come. You invite in divers ways _ postures, dress code, etc. No matter the danggling you know what i mean. My utmost happiness is that all agreement weren't signed on bed else women would have . . . . |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by akwaowoudo(m): 11:42am On Jun 27, 2010 |
Missy B:There's something i've just understood from your write-up. Instead of dwelling within the context of the act, you are busy castigating men. Castigation proceeds! _ stolen waters are the sweetest. Did the boyfriend force the sister into the act? Oh! No. She widely opened her thighs. Now to the issue of choice, dignity and respect; i want to point it out that 55% of men do possesss whereas only 2% of women have these. Taking your mind back to the biblical days, if the serpent could subdue Eve then why won't men subdue daughters of Eve. Almost all sinful act pertaining to sex is orchestrated by women; you invite and i come. You invite in divers ways _ postures, dress code, etc. No matter the danggling you know what i mean. My utmost happiness is that all agreement weren't signed on bed else women would have . . . . |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by IyaBasira: 12:23pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
Pweety4me: That bolded part makes no sense whatsoever. So she is at fault for trusting her bf with her sister? Excluding her mother, are those not the closest people to her? So how could she NOT trust them with one another? The poster was not at fault in any way because its not as if her bf didn't know that that child was his. In fact, he knew and that was why he never refused to help when a situation arose. Besides, not allowing them to get close wouldn't have made the situation better, because the baby still came out in the end, and it still looked like the baby's daddy. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Madukaele(m): 3:32pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
@poster, your dad is dead , [size=5pt]  , same as your dad even worse ,trust me. but am still a virgin and my ex left me or cheated on me cos i didnt agree on having sex with her. so der are faithful men same as women,only dat is hard to find dem. your relationship lasted 5 yrs , mine was 7yrs. move on sis and forgive, it has good spiritual effect. true talk. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Pweety4me(f): 6:05pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
IyaBasira:It's not about trusting her bf?it's about being careful u trust NOBODY!& i never said it was her fault dat's y i used d word "maybe" anywayz wateva i am nobody d judge d situation neither are you or anybody else 4 dat matter. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by MissyB1(m): 7:03pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
akwaowoudo:Ssssh!!! You misconstrued ma post. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by bodacy: 7:09pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
1. you will continue to hurt if you don't move on. 2. thought not forgiving people hinders prayer? 3. you are not God, give your sister the opportunity to apologize and be ready to accept it no matter how silly it is. 4. what do you want to do now that you know what men are capable of doing? nobody goes to battle without a winning plan, your knowledge should better prepare you for days ahead even if you are headed for the convent. 5. you can't rewrite the past but you can influence the future, it's up to you. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by piccadot(f): 7:32pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by justwise(m): 7:45pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
Carolece: Your sister is as bad as your bf, women are as bad as men, don't waste ur time hating men and call them all the name under the sun. They were both a disgrace for what they did but the sad truth is:. . you will struggle to move on untill you forgive and have peace of mind. I keep saying this. . all men are NOT the same, just as all women are NOT the same. If and If all men you meet cheats on you then i'm sorry you need to have a good look at yourself. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by akwaowoudo(m): 8:29pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
Missy B:I'm sorry Missy B; the response came as a slip of hand. It was meant for Carolece; pls. accept my apology. Regards! |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Travelista(f): 8:32pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
Carolece, if you take ANYTHING away from this thread, please listen to this bit of advice: madlady: The above quote is the realest thing that's been posted (no offense to the others!); sometimes, we have the notion that forgiveness is given to appease the offending party but that's not the case. Forgiveness helps you just as much, if not more. While you're fretting over your pain, those that hurt you rarely lose sleep, they live their lives to the fullest and might feel a twinge of pain/guilt whenever they think about what they've done to you. Pray for the strength to not only forgive but to be able to move on from this chapter. While you've been separated from your family, THEY have all been busy living life without you and sharing joy; don't be left out on that. You don't have to like your sister and you sure as hell don't have to trust her (I know I wouldn't!) but for YOUR peace of mind, be the better person that you are. You have my sympathy because you will have to eventually face the product of your sister and ex's betrayal and that is the moment when feelings will come rushing in. PRAY. You're a human being and we all have our weaknesses; how many women could look into that innocent boy's little face and not see the future that might have been? Don't force a relationship but when you are ready, give him the love that he'll need to grow into a well-adjusted man. The cycle has to stop somewhere and I believe you can be a positive influence in his life. As for your sister, Ma, I have no words. Any relationship she will enter from here on out, she'll have to explain her child's paternity. What man would take a woman like that seriously; she's set herself up for a world of hurt because she was jealous of her sister. (I don't care what anyone says or thinks but envy pushed her to try her sister's man out; Carolece sounds like she has everything in order and the one chink in the armor was the man and he disintegrated like rust as the slightest touch. Shameful.) OP, not all men are bad but we sometimes attract the wrong types without knowing it. If you think every man will cheat (to be fair, EVERYONE is capable of cheating; it just takes a loyal heart and a willingness to truly love to refuse to do so), you're setting your self up to reel in garbage. Demand a good man by being the best YOU can be; you know what you want, so don't rationalize shortcomings. If he's not up to par, cut him loose! You deserve a good man that will love you and only you; your ex wasn't The One and life had probably been trying to tell you this but you refused to listen. It took the baby's birth to tell you without a doubt; if you come to find out that your ex isn't a part of the baby's life, shout "Hallelujah!" because you truly dodged a bullet. There are good men out there. I've been cheated on and would find myself crying at the most awkward moments (work tears are NOT a good look!) but I prayed for strength; the tears reduced, the sleepless nights decreased and I began to return to my old self. It wasn't until I forgave the dude for MY OWN sanity (*ahem* MadLady's onto something above) that things started to normalize. Be strong, dear. All of this hurt you're holding onto is keeping your from living your life to the best of your abilities. Take care and I wish you the very best, hun. *hugs* 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by MissyB1(m): 9:38pm On Jun 27, 2010 |
akwaowoudo:Apology accepted!  |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by vivaladiva(f): 3:16am On Jun 28, 2010 |
personally i wouldnt b able to 4give n i wldnt b able 2 4 get i find it way too easy to cut my self off from people 4 very mundane reason, i really wldnt look bck even if it means cutting my self frm my family----people like to emphasise on the fact that its ur sis, or ur bro or ur mother or ur father truth is if u hurt me like a stranger, i wld turn my bck on u like i wld a stranger i luv my sister dearly but 2 b honest i wont put my self in dat situation, u know me, my man and my sis living in the same house 4 extended periods of time call it insecurity, being paranoid or watever, u never know anything can happen tis not that i dont trust both of them but human beings can b very bleeping weird, u wld b surprised the amount of secrets people take to their graves bliv me, i ve seen a whole bunch of shit in my life and the only person u can really know 100percent is ur self |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by vivaladiva(f): 3:24am On Jun 28, 2010 |
people place so mch emphasis on the healing properties of forgivness forgivness is very alien to me, cos i dont know how one is suppose to feel when u truely 4give sometimes it is easier to walk away, forget about the person, forgive ur self for turning ur bck, than it is to actually 4giv that person and have to see them i hear people say, ive 4given the killer of my child now that i have a child, if u so mch as touch her improperly---u wld be my enemy for life it really dont matter who that person is 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by member479760: 4:19am On Jun 28, 2010 |
Forgive your sister and keep moving on. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by GL(f): 5:23am On Jun 28, 2010 |
Carolece, though i've not experienced this sort of betrayal, i agree with others who say you should try to forgive for your own good. i think you have the right to be angry and bitter, but bitterness is really toxic. i watched a very close family member struggle with bitterness and unforgiveness for many years until it just about destroyed everything in his life (marriage, career, relationship with his children and siblings). the worst part, as travelista said, is bitterness destroys only the bitter person, while person the person responsible lives a normal life. so please, for your own sake, try to forgive your sister. i know it's hard, but God can help you get to the point where you don't feel bitter anymore. concerning your hatred of men, do not let the mistakes of your father, uncle and the other men in your life deprive you of a future loving relationship. by hating men you make it impossible for a man to prove to you that there are still good men left, meanwhile the men who made you feel that way are free to be in loving relationships. even if you do manage to recognize and accept a good man, all these bitter feelings and negative ideas would eat away at the relationship. these things can become so deeply ingrained into you that even if you want to be open, loving and trusting with a good guy, you find yourself doing otherwise. you need to realize that there are good and bad men, and you get to make your choice. i understand how easy it is to despise men when from a very young age you see them in such negative lights. it might help if you focus instead on the fact that the wives of those men made wrong choices and they and their kids paid for it. and that you can learn from their experiences and avoid making the same mistakes. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 5:46am On Jun 28, 2010 |
@poster since you believe that men are evil (oh you again), and that they probably have psychic powers over women to trick them into their bed then you probably should FORGIVE your sister for falling"victim" to the evil man BUT NEVER FORGET what she did. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 7:40am On Jun 28, 2010 |
MrBrown, i said something like that earlier. Everything should not be blaimed entirely on men. Afterall, it was the sister that was involved. . . .women are very good in tricking men to bed - since the day of adam and eve |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 7:53am On Jun 28, 2010 |
^^^^^^yeah, people forget that some human beings just dont have any morals(man and woman). aint it funny how the poster is considering forgiving one but not the other, like as if the guy part was worst than the sister's?! also, some women have double standards. . . . . . . . . they talk about being strong, intelligent and all that but when they fukc up and choose to date/marry some playa, its not their faults its the evil playa's fault. see how Carolece talk about having playas around her and in her family/neighborhood all her life BUT YET later in life she fell for these same playas. IF I had grown up around hoes and sluts then i would have a PHD in the field and no hoes could fool me later in life! |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by madlady(f): 8:03am On Jun 28, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY: A male or female who behaves despicably should always be blamed. Anyone can make a mistake in a choice of partner but we should all try to keep our mistakes to a minimum. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 8:16am On Jun 28, 2010 |
^^^^^ but shouldnt you also put some of the blame on yourself for poor judgement?! |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 8:22am On Jun 28, 2010 |
wht a confusing headline |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by madlady(f): 9:14am On Jun 28, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY: I really do not see how the @poster can/should take any blame with regards the scenario she's placed before us on this thread. The "sister" should take the lions share of the blame, to lay with your sister's husband/bf should be an absolute no no. 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 9:42am On Jun 28, 2010 |
^^^come on, you are twisting the story now. what i am saying is that: the poster should put the blame of this scenario on both her sister and this guy THEREFORE both should receive the same "penalty". . . . . . . . . . NOT getting rid of the "evil" guy, and then considering forgiving the sister (as if what she did was lesser). |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by madlady(f): 9:52am On Jun 28, 2010 |
^^^How did I twist the story  . I still hold fast to my view, a "sister" should never cross that line. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 10:22am On Jun 28, 2010 |
^^^^ i was writing about how the SISTER should take equal blame for her actions NOT the poster. . . . . . . . . .therefore how the poster should punish them BOTH equally. |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by madlady(f): 10:27am On Jun 28, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY: This was your reply to one of my comments, as I am not the poster, to whom did you mean the above comment ? |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by Nobody: 10:40am On Jun 28, 2010 |
^^^^^ that was in reply to you saying: madlady: |
| Re: My Sister Had My Boyfriend's Baby. Forgive Her? Not? by madlady(f): 10:56am On Jun 28, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY: Gosh @MRbrownJAY  , we are really derailing this topic. My comment was in reply to the posters @topic, not my personal experience. |
Will You consider a Genotype Test Before Marriage? / what is the difference between first love and true love / Ladies, Camel-toe Is A Beautiful Thing, Flaunt It.
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 77 |