Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,689,998 members, 6,337,134 topics. Date: Sunday, 13 June 2021 at 03:55 PM

Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) - Travel - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) (66446 Views)

Think You Know Abuja! (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)

Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 5:16pm On Oct 03, 2018
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta

648 Likes 101 Shares

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 5:17pm On Oct 03, 2018
Lazyreporta is back again.

Who missed me here?

cheesy

199 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by tobtap: 5:52pm On Oct 03, 2018
great write-up cool cool

71 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 6:00pm On Oct 03, 2018
tobtap:
great write-up cool cool
Thanks boss

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Jamestown123: 7:14pm On Oct 03, 2018
Waoo i have to save this.

18 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by tabithababy(f): 7:33pm On Oct 03, 2018
Nice. What of palm groove, bariga and the likes

12 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 8:22pm On Oct 03, 2018
cheesy
tabithababy:
Nice. What of palm groove, bariga and the likes

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by dominique(f): 11:06pm On Oct 03, 2018
On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

Comparison is totally on point. I think Eko and Idumota are just about the same, you should have used CMS as of the triplets

35 Likes 1 Share

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Demgohearword: 11:09pm On Oct 03, 2018
Na ambode own dey pain me

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Newboss(m): 11:09pm On Oct 03, 2018
angry

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by oshe11: 11:10pm On Oct 03, 2018
Lazyreporta:
Lazyreporta is back again.
Who missed me here?
cheesy

59 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by psychologist(m): 11:10pm On Oct 03, 2018
Honorable mentions


If u don't have change don't try to board a bus in fadeyi, when going to costain avoid ojuelegba under bridge Cus over there trailer falls at will.. The other day I was going to odogunyan and I heard the bus conductor called a bus stop idi iroko cool


cheesy some places u dint mention
Nice write up between

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Spatta: 11:11pm On Oct 03, 2018
Nice one. copied
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Edonnewi: 11:11pm On Oct 03, 2018
Reporter you try....
From your report I grab east or west village is best cool

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ThankGodEdeh(m): 11:11pm On Oct 03, 2018
I love this write up

4 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by TeeTeem: 11:15pm On Oct 03, 2018
Is Badagry, Alaba and Ikotun not on this same mainland ?

4 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by carymastory(m): 11:15pm On Oct 03, 2018
Nice write up ... I love this

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by gbaskiboy(m): 11:16pm On Oct 03, 2018
op send me your 10 digits na at all at all na him bad

28 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by JerryLegend(m): 11:16pm On Oct 03, 2018
sad
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by luckgood(m): 11:16pm On Oct 03, 2018
Hmm..lazyreporta!

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Olamiz: 11:17pm On Oct 03, 2018
Nice articles
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Pentools(m): 11:17pm On Oct 03, 2018
President Atiku from 2019...
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by BabaJideAFONJA(f): 11:17pm On Oct 03, 2018
Op this is the only place i know in the Afonjaistic land of Lagos.

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Kemimarch16(f): 11:17pm On Oct 03, 2018
International airport

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by snoopy1(m): 11:18pm On Oct 03, 2018
.
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by wagazala: 11:18pm On Oct 03, 2018
Quality. Pump price is on the mainland, premium on Island.

OP your head dey there.

7 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Mhyketh(m): 11:19pm On Oct 03, 2018
and on the mainland the igbos cry for change.
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 11:19pm On Oct 03, 2018
gbaskiboy:
op send me your 10 digits na at all at all na him bad
GTB
0199207218


Thanks! smiley

50 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Sanwoolu: 11:19pm On Oct 03, 2018
I must commend you young lad. Well done.

10 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by spartoo: 11:19pm On Oct 03, 2018
Really, I do not know what to make of this write-up: Whether it's fun or begging for attention.

grin

2 Likes 4 Shares

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)

Onitsha Fire: Photo Of The Woman That Died With Her Baby / Before Applying Or Coming To The Uk For Studies: Beware Of This / Trailer Loses Brake In Imo, Crushes 20 Women To Death (Photos)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 111
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.