Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,747 members, 7,809,853 topics. Date: Friday, 26 April 2024 at 04:01 PM

Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) - Travel (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) (67740 Views)

How Much Do You Think You Can Be Earning In Nigeria And You Won't Consider Japa / Think You Know Abuja! (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Tpeters(m): 11:50pm On Oct 03, 2018
Sanwoolu:
I must commend you young lad. Well done.

Sanwo-Olu is dt you?
oya Wole wa ,ko wa sanwo-eko

2 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Abimbola007(m): 11:52pm On Oct 03, 2018
Wow... You b Boss

2 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by mamausgodspower(m): 12:00am On Oct 04, 2018
Demgohearword:
Na ambode own dey pain me
i tire for africa
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by emmanuelpopson(m): 12:08am On Oct 04, 2018
LA classic... why is your name lazyrepota... U not lazy ooo...

4 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by honharr(m): 12:08am On Oct 04, 2018
Nice write up..How did u forget banana isalnd..Home for the super rich

3 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by jaxxy(m): 12:09am On Oct 04, 2018
The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

This really got me laughing. Nice wordplay, descriptively entertaining write up.

5 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Ekaka1(m): 12:09am On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta...this is Riveting.....humorous.....creates vivid pictures and real time images in my mind's eyes ...you were probably born for this....to write, great articles, books that every spectrum of society can relate to . You nailed this one with ease ...is there room to improve?yes ofcourse but whoever criticizes this must first appreciate the great effort...
Good job...saved already

14 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Nobody: 12:09am On Oct 04, 2018
Sanwoolu:
I must commend you young lad. Well done.
Lolsssss @your moniker.

Chai, u don become Sanwolu just now?

Success is sweet o.

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 12:10am On Oct 04, 2018
cheesy
emmanuelpopson:
LA classic... why is your name lazyrepota... U not lazy ooo...
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 12:11am On Oct 04, 2018
Ekaka1:
Lazyreporta...this is Riveting.....humorous.....creates vivid pictures and real time images in my mind's eyes ...you were probably born for this....to write, great articles, books that every spectrum of society can relate to . You nailed this one with ease ...is there room to improve?yes ofcourse but whoever criticizes this must first appreciate the great effort...
Good job...saved already

Thanks
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by FA13(m): 12:14am On Oct 04, 2018
Nice write up.

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by sucre2(m): 12:17am On Oct 04, 2018
This is lovely.

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by emmabest2000(m): 12:18am On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta
Agboju alakija frinaija mburuado ! Yanaba vus agric alaba lago okoko cheesy

2 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Rollymax77(m): 12:20am On Oct 04, 2018
I no be OP but i need God's favour too been starving and feeding on anything for a while.0001076447.
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ndukaejime1994(m): 12:25am On Oct 04, 2018
Really great and exceptional.. It's going to take at least a master degree holder in English to criticize this your write-up.. I hope to see more of this kind from mods and OP on these forum because rubbish are now allowed to flourish on this forum

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Rollymax77(m): 12:25am On Oct 04, 2018
gbaskiboy:
op send me your 10 digits na at all at all na him bad

I am not the OP but i need God's favour too have been starving and feeding on anything i see for a while help me out please.
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Rollymax77(m): 12:25am On Oct 04, 2018
gbaskiboy:
op send me your 10 digits na at all at all na him bad

I am not the OP but i need God's favour too have been starving and feeding on anything i see for a while help me out please.

0001076447
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by emecheboy2(m): 12:26am On Oct 04, 2018
Awesome write-up
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by crazysam001: 12:26am On Oct 04, 2018
Very well thought out and structured

2 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ndukaejime1994(m): 12:26am On Oct 04, 2018
Rollymax77:
I no be OP but i need God's favour too been starving and feeding on anything for a while.0001076447.

You are among the people this OP didn't talk about in his excellent article, the corporate beggars that plagues the streets of Lagos mainland

14 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by cosmos1440: 12:40am On Oct 04, 2018
chubbygal:
Oba how far the latest development. Lifeless oba

A cursed ibo like you will turn everything into a tribal war.
na hatred go kill you.
onye ara !
anuofia !

4 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by tiger28: 12:40am On Oct 04, 2018
No IGBO names Thought they own OUR Lagos
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Bayonle10: 12:42am On Oct 04, 2018
1CHA2Rokt3XAfapQfUSxzJhMgDs6pSq6ki
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by oguntechnocrats: 12:59am On Oct 04, 2018
Triple A Akinlade has been declared the winner and APC flag bearer in the coming gubernatorial election in ogun state

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Dareal90s(m): 1:02am On Oct 04, 2018
BabaJideAFONJA:
Op this is the only place i know in the Afonjaistic land of Lagos.
that's the only place your type are found. grin

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Drabrah(m): 1:02am On Oct 04, 2018
U try.
Ovation 4 u.
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Culin(f): 1:03am On Oct 04, 2018
Nice write up. I love the poetic and dramatic feel to it.

3 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Birminghamvirgo(m): 1:08am On Oct 04, 2018
u try! bravo

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by akigbemaru: 1:09am On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Yankee101: 1:12am On Oct 04, 2018
Lol. Well written prose sprinkled with poetry, dripping with history and passing on information. I don't usually read long posts that don't have any new thing to learn from, I read every single line, sometimes twice. Just go professional.

Encore! Encore!!

6 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)

How Did You Obtain Your Permanent Residency In Your Current Country? / See The ₦155m Lamborghini That Every Plane Must Follow At Italy's Airport / Just Collected My International Passport

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 61
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.