| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Sheezy(m): 6:46am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.
The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.
The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.
The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.
The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1
The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.
Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba
Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.
Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.
There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.
Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.
Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.
Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index
On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.
This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.
Source... Lazyreporta
I enjoyed every line. Good one! 2 Likes |
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| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by rhektor(m): 6:59am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.
The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.
The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.
The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.
The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1
The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.
Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba
Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.
Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.
There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.
Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.
Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.
Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index
On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.
This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.
Source... Lazyreporta
Nice write-up op But let me make a correction on the meaning of Ebute Meta "Ebute M’ata” now called “Ebute-Metta”. According to Iwe Irohin Eko of 16thFebrauary, 1889, “Ebute M’ata” which full pronunciation is “EbuteImu-Ata” is from the Awori language. Among the many meanings of “Imu” in Awori is “a place where something is situated” while “Ebute” means “wharf”. Thus, “Ebute Imu-Ata” or Ebute- M’ata” actually means “the wharf where Atta tree is situated”. History has it that a big Atta tree was formerly situated at the wharf (Ebute) on the Mainland right opposite the Ota village before it decomposed and fell down. However, with the many and different tribes that make up the population of Lagos and by whom the original settlers were so rapidly overwhelmed, it is not a surprise that the spelling, pronunciation and meaning of the word was perverted to “Ebute-Metta”. Courtesy https://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2017/11/07/lagos-and-the-evolution-of-oyingbo-market/ |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by grafixdon: 7:02am On Oct 04, 2018 |
emmabest2000:
Agboju alakija frinaija mburuado ! Yanaba vus agric alaba lago okoko  AGBOJU, ALAKIJA, ABULE-ADO, IYANA-IBA, ALABA RAGO. Are you from Anambra, lol. |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by locoster(m): 7:03am On Oct 04, 2018 |
OP just made my morning with his write-up. 2 Likes |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by donwizfit2(m): 7:15am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Waoo am amazed by your write up
[i][/i] |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by bigmo1(m): 7:17am On Oct 04, 2018 |
{Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.}
This is so true. Those silly Ogudu boiz be feeling more posh than ojota (OJ city) boiz. Even d Ogudu ghetto boiz 2 Likes |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by immaculate1234(m): 7:26am On Oct 04, 2018 |
take time 
|
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ariesbull: 7:26am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Banana island is the top... That place . If you are not living there you haven't arrived |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Nobody: 7:34am On Oct 04, 2018 |
wow... I could almost visualize lag from this... Even tho' i've never been there. 1 Like |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by jidxin(m): 7:42am On Oct 04, 2018 |
G BabaJideAFONJA:
Op this is the only place i know in the Afonjaistic land of Lagos. must you always display your stupidity 2 Likes |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by iamclime(m): 7:43am On Oct 04, 2018 |
While not completely correct and fully descriptive of Lagos, this write-up is fascinating! A good read, and very poetic too! I'm saving this. Well done, lazyreporta! 2 Likes |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by etzmiezbee(f): 7:56am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.
The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.
The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.
The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.
The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1
The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.
Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba
Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.
Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.
There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.
Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.
Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.
Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index
On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.
This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.
Source... Lazyreporta
Nice one����✌✌ |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by teegrams(m): 8:02am On Oct 04, 2018 |
This got me cranking
Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo. 2 Likes |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by nathpope(m): 8:05am On Oct 04, 2018 |
@lazyreporta
how could u?
How could u talk of Lagos without mentioning OSHODI? The centre of Lagos....
Guess there's a part 2 of the write up...
Am waiting for d sequel....
Nice write up by the way....
Couldn't ask for a summary... 3 Likes |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Thukzee01(m): 8:11am On Oct 04, 2018 |
gbaskiboy:
op send me your 10 digits na at all at all na him bad My own nko |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by spartoo: 8:29am On Oct 04, 2018 |
emmie14:
mental evaluation is imminent then And I guess you are the patient |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 8:29am On Oct 04, 2018 |
nathpope:
@lazyreporta
how could u?
How could u talk of Lagos without mentioning OSHODI? The centre of Lagos....
Guess there's a part 2 of the write up...
Am waiting for d sequel....
Nice write up by the way....
Couldn't ask for a summary...
You want part 2?  |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Igboho100: 8:36am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Wonderful write-up...great work!!! 1 Like |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ChristineC: 8:39am On Oct 04, 2018 |
TeeTeem:
Is Badagry, Alaba and Ikotun not on this same island ? 2 Likes 
|
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ChristineC: 8:42am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Good write up. Ibeju Lekki LGA still has many pages of stories to add in the next few years. |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by vivaciousvivi(f): 9:14am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Lazyreporta dude, who are you?! I think I am in love  2 Likes |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by tabithababy(f): 9:19am On Oct 04, 2018 |
|
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by kaywhy09(m): 9:21am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Bravooo 1 Like |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 9:25am On Oct 04, 2018 |
1 Like |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 9:28am On Oct 04, 2018 |
vivaciousvivi:
Lazyreporta dude, who are you?!
I think I am in love I am lazyreporta, a blogger Nice dp  1 Like |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by vivaciousvivi(f): 9:36am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Lazyreporta:
I am lazyreporta, a blogger
Nice dp Thank you!  |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 9:48am On Oct 04, 2018 |
vivaciousvivi:
Thank you! I am just being sincere.... I like to talk some more |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by vivaciousvivi(f): 9:54am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Lazyreporta:
I am just being sincere....
I like to talk some more |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 9:59am On Oct 04, 2018 |
1 Like |
| Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by novexme(m): 10:02am On Oct 04, 2018 |
Damn, this is one lovely write up. Abeg check our Instagram page for your agricultural farm equipments. @plethoraequip. Aeration pump, soil testers, water pumps. 2 Likes |
