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Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) - Travel (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ifiokjohn(m): 10:04am On Oct 04, 2018
Wow this is great..Niceone Guy

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by tabithababy(f): 10:06am On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:


Mainland o cheesy
.


cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Don't worry , we will soon move to the island kiss
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 10:08am On Oct 04, 2018
Oya na cheesy
Which part of island
tabithababy:
.


cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Don't worry , we will soon move to the island kiss
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Donexy16(m): 10:27am On Oct 04, 2018
gbaskiboy:
op send me your 10 digits na at all at all na him bad




Nice of you
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by guardiola: 10:28am On Oct 04, 2018
Lovely and funny, great job @Lazyreporta
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by mywells: 11:26am On Oct 04, 2018
tabithababy:
Nice. What of palm groove, bariga and the likes
they are forgotten Hero's.
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by edrys(m): 12:28pm On Oct 04, 2018
The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness.
Make I lmao.

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by ChristineC: 12:31pm On Oct 04, 2018
ariesbull:
Banana island is the top... That place . If you are not living there you haven't arrived
can you not see Ikoyi in the write up?

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Food111: 12:41pm On Oct 04, 2018
GreenCap:


places to do internship in Lagos:

PZ, Ilupeju

Guiness, Ogba

Chivita, Isolo

Coca-Cola, Agidingbi

Lever Brothers, Oregun

Ogun state:

Nestle, Agbara

Redeem camp, Mowe

Mountain of Fire prayer city, Ibafon

Edit your post and remove my account number I already removed it and besides I didn't quote you. Thanks you
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by davies(m): 12:43pm On Oct 04, 2018
You are pretty right with all you've written Bro

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Rinsola32(f): 12:58pm On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta

Wow! Wonderful piece

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by novexme(m): 1:00pm On Oct 04, 2018
Damn, this is one lovely write up. Abeg check out my signature

2 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by stonecoldcafe: 1:59pm On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:
Lazyreporta is back again.

Who missed me here?

cheesy

That is a beautiful write up

2 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by GreenCap: 2:12pm On Oct 04, 2018
Food111:


Edit your post and remove my account number I already removed it and besides I didn't quote you. Thanks you

your wish is my command.

had plan to give someone a cash gift last week but he rejected it

and i wanted to send it to you

eighty kindheartedness.

sorry to quote you. cheers
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lolaabokoku(f): 2:12pm On Oct 04, 2018
NICE WRITE UP. THUMBS UP FOR OP

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Food111: 3:16pm On Oct 04, 2018
GreenCap:


your wish is my command.

had plan to give someone a cash gift last week but he rejected it

and i wanted to send it to you

eighty kindheartedness.

sorry to quote you. cheers

You would have quote without adding the account number. I'm in my finals writing exams at the moment and no funds. If you really want to give I will gladly appreciate and put my account number for you. If you read my comment thinking I was rude I wasn't sorry. Thank you
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Food111: 3:32pm On Oct 04, 2018
GreenCap:


your wish is my command.

had plan to give someone a cash gift last week but he rejected it

and i wanted to send it to you

eighty kindheartedness.

sorry to quote you. cheers

I just came back from exam hall cooked the remaining rice don't know where the next meal is coming from. I sent you that message before my morning exam. I really need your help if I sounded rude I'm sorry. Gtbank 0170107586
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by DarryOsh(m): 4:11pm On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta


This is pure plaigiarism!

This article was published on farafinabooks. and was authored by Amatesiro Dore in 2013.

Intellectual property theft is a crime!

Here is a link to the original publication:
https://farafinabooks./flash/life-on-the-mainland/

But Lazyreporta has named himself as the source!
How do people steal other people's creative content in this ge of the Internet? Did it not occur to you that someone would find out? This is theft!
Lazyreporta if you don't want to be sued...

2 Likes

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 4:22pm On Oct 04, 2018
DarryOsh:



This is pure plaigiarism!

This article was published on farafinabooks. and was authored by Amatesiro Dore in 2013.

Intellectual property theft is a crime!

Here is a link to the original publication:
https://farafinabooks./flash/life-on-the-mainland/

But Lazyreporta has named himself as the source!
How do people steal other people's creative content in this ge of the Internet? Did it not occur to you that someone would find out? This is theft!
Lazyreporta if you don't want to be sued...


I only reposted it here yesterday.
I knew someone was going to say this.
I'm just reposting what I have posted online long ago.
Only if you can prove this site wrote it anyways.

Did you know how it got to that blog in the first place?

Same way you will see what I posted on naijaloaded but if I post it here you'll shout the same thing.
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by nathpope(m): 4:38pm On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:

You want part 2? grin
yes oh...even til part 10 sef...
Dont u knw ''Lagos'' is a NEVER ENDING STORY?

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 4:40pm On Oct 04, 2018
cheesy
nathpope:


yes oh...even til part 10 sef...

Dont u knw ''Lagos'' is a NEVER ENDING STORY?
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by DarryOsh(m): 5:35pm On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:



I only reposted it here yesterday.
I knew someone was going to say this.
I'm just reposting what I have posted online long ago.
Only if you can prove this site wrote it anyways.

Did you know how it got to that blog in the first place?

Same way you will see what I posted on naijaloaded but if I post it here you'll shout the same thing.

Are you Amatesiro Dore? If not, could you provide a link to the page where you first "posted online long ago"?

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Lazyreporta(m): 6:13pm On Oct 04, 2018
DarryOsh:


Are you Amatesiro Dore? If not, could you provide a link to the page where you first "posted online long ago"?

No sir, Alex adedamola of mine magazine.

The name you quoted copied it sir.

I shot down my blog, lazyreporta long ago.
You can see I didn't even share any link on this post. I still posted it last year on nairaland when I remembered the article but it didn't get to front page, so I reposted it yesterday.

Ask the person if he wrote it, sir, until then, dont quote me again.

Thank you!!!
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Allansmith: 6:32pm On Oct 04, 2018
Kudos Sir.....Lagos my Lagos.... grin grin grin smiley smiley smiley

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Femich18(m): 9:41pm On Oct 04, 2018
Lovely..... I opened this thread this morning immediately I read lines I knew it will be interesting and I wasn't disappointed now that I'm chanced to read it all...
Thumb up to the writer, u made lot of sense. But what happened to Badagry nah. Badagry no dey Lagos map again ni

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Nobody: 10:11pm On Oct 04, 2018
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! I just can't stop saying Awesome write-up. Chai! You made my hectic day cool. Thank you

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by Ugosample(m): 10:39pm On Oct 04, 2018
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta


this is a lovely write up

1 Like

Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by mannobi(m): 3:31am On Oct 05, 2018
Eko tinubu, Eko fashola, Eko ambode(for where), oya Sanwo-Eko
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by igbanbajo(m): 4:48am On Oct 05, 2018
Lazyreporta:
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... Lazyreporta
Re: Think You Know Lagos well Enough? (photos) by tammie24: 6:52am On Oct 06, 2018
BabaJideAFONJA:
Op this is the only place i know in the Afonjaistic land of Lagos.
when the so called afonja land had real houses your people were living in huts
#fact

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