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My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. - Romance - Nairaland

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My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Dogalmighty17: 5:15am On Dec 20, 2018
I have dated this girl for three years. We fixed a date for the wedding for late this year. However, events seemingly out of my control necessitated that I shift the wedding to February next year. Initially, she was against the shift but I pleaded with her.

Sometime in August this year, we had a disagreement because I noticed she was being disrespectful towards me. She is hardworking, cooks well and is very business oriented. But her sense of independence makes her struggle with submission to her man. I told her how uncomfortable I was with it and she's promised to make amends. She has but from time to time, her old self comes out.

I was at a loss on what to do that I had to voice out the issue to her family. When they asked her, she told them that since I requested for a shift in wedding date, she became uncomfortable with the relationship. Her family then told her to call off the relationship. I got to know about this decision and I called her and she said she was going to obey the wishes of her family. Her mom also told me that since I keep complaining about her daughters lack of respect, I should leave her daughter alone. It took serious pleading from me before the family accepted the continuing of the relationship. They asked me that since the date I initially agreed for the wedding wasn't going to be convenient for me, when then do I think will be convenient? Since I didn't want to loose my woman, I mentioned February. The desperation on my path was much.

My mom on the other hand wants a wedding in April. She has said February is not convenient for her. All my pleas have fell on deaf ears. She has threatened not to bless the union and has even gone as far as threatening to curse me with her breasts if I wed in February.

My girl has refused to even entertain the thought of shifting the date again. She maintains that it is better that we outrightly call off the wedding, than shift it again. I understand her fears. She feels that I may just be wasting her time. I am not

This is my dilemma. Should I go with my woman who has spent three years of her life with me or do I go with my mom?

I must also mention that my mom was informed of the initial date of the wedding over a year ago. But she foot dragged in her support for months until much later in the year that I now had to take issues into my own hands.

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Eazie351(m): 5:21am On Dec 20, 2018
The thing is, this ur PS3 has 2 controllers and i dnt knw whch pad to hold...
.
.
BEHIND THE SCENES of those "beaming" pre-wedding pics.... I dey fear sef

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by IamD18: 5:26am On Dec 20, 2018
Low self-esteem is damn bad!

What nonesense! Will you die if you don't marry the lady?

If little issues like wedding date can make her family advice her to call off the relationship, what then will happen when a bigger issue shows up in your marriage.

Trust me Bruv, if they really want you. I mean, if the lady and her mother really respect and like you, WEDDING DATE will not be enough reason for her to think of calling off the relationship, it won't just be enough reason for the mother to tell you to leave her daughter alone.

The earlier you understand that no one is irreplaceable, the better for you.

In my opinion; Kindly part ways with her,Mr.


PART WAYS!!!!!

664 Likes 58 Shares

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by lawman88(m): 5:31am On Dec 20, 2018
you mean your mother threatebed to curse you just because she is not comfortable with the wedding date? please go with your woman. A CURSELESS CURSE SHALL NOT STAND....

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by babyfaceafrica: 5:38am On Dec 20, 2018
just forget the relationship.. simple!!

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by babyfaceafrica: 5:39am On Dec 20, 2018
lawman88:
you mean your mother threatebed to curse you just because she is not comfortable with the wedding date? please go with your woman. A CURSELESS CURSE SHALL NOT STAND....
take this advise and I bet you will regret it in the future!

273 Likes 17 Shares

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by chivera018: 5:51am On Dec 20, 2018
why does ur mother want the wedding done in April, is the one paying for it ?
Maybe ur mother does not like ur fiancee.

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Dogalmighty17: 5:58am On Dec 20, 2018
chivera018:
why does ur mother want the wedding done in April, is the one paying for it ?

Maybe ur mother does not like ur fiancee.

I and my fiancee are sponsoring it ourselves. My mom is not contributing a kobo.

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by duduade: 5:58am On Dec 20, 2018
There's something more to this.


If God says she's the one then she will be

A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage...

Do not enter into something you will regret. Your fears about her disrespect is coming to pass.. God might be trying to save you

200 Likes 10 Shares

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by chivera018: 6:03am On Dec 20, 2018
Dogalmighty17:


I and my fiancee are sponsoring it ourselves. My mom is not contributing a kobo.
Then proceed with d wedding, if ur mother has no good reason to make u and ur fiancee wait to April

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by GOFRONT(m): 6:15am On Dec 20, 2018
I hope say you and your wife don do una Genotype?

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Dogalmighty17: 6:21am On Dec 20, 2018
GOFRONT:
I hope say you and your wife don do una Genotype?

We have. We are compatible.

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by WUdec: 6:22am On Dec 20, 2018
Sounds like you love her more than she loves you.


Secondly, any adult who lets his/her parent control his/her marriage or relationship is not mature enough to keep one.

Marriage should not come with pressure. Plus she sounds like she holds the remote.

You seem soft and easy to take advantage of. Nobody should ever force you to do what you don't want to.

Only you know the answers to your question.

You ain't ready for marriage yet, trust me on this one

282 Likes 19 Shares

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by 1StopRudeness: 6:40am On Dec 20, 2018
Oga, Nigerian marriage is not about the husband and wife alone.......the two families are getting married as well.

It shouldnt just be the two of you talking dates, your parents and her parents should do the talking as well, especially the mothers from both sides, fathers no get time, na to drop raba be papa own if he has and to attend.

my advice, unless they dont like u, tell ur mum tgo and see her parents, all this matter will be resolved. once they dont wanna talk to ur mum..oga dont let anybody armstrong you into any marriage.....if she cant wait let her find her level....she might have another alternative..her gra-gra is too much for my liking...threatening a man that she wont marry again becos of date adjustment....i mean who does that??...

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ValCon888(m): 6:41am On Dec 20, 2018
I doubt you're going to be ready in February.

From your writeup it seems you chose February as a last ditch attempt not to lose your girl.

Don't let anyone manipulate you and this includes your mother and your potential inlaws.

Pick a date that's convenient for you. Anybody that does not like it should take a hike.

One final thing. You have to man up.

The signs are there that external forces will control your marriage if and when you do get married. angry

189 Likes 10 Shares

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Dogalmighty17: 6:45am On Dec 20, 2018
1StopRudeness:
Oga, Nigerian marriage is not about the husband and wife alone.......the two families are getting married as well.

It shouldnt just be the two of you talking dates, your parents and her parents should do the talking as well, especially the mothers from both sides, fathers no get time, na to drop raba be papa own if he has and to attend.

my advice, unless they dont like u, tell ur mum tgo and see her parents, all this matter will be resolved. once they dont wanna talk to ur mum..oga dont let anybody armstrong you into any marriage.....if she cant wait let her find her level....she might have another alternative..her gra-gra is too much for my liking...threatening a man that she wont marry again becos of date adjustment....i mean who does that??...

Her family has been very accommodating. They have been open to see my mom. My mom however, keeps finding one excuse or another not to go.

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by 1StopRudeness: 6:51am On Dec 20, 2018
Dogalmighty17:


Her family has been very accommodating. They have been open to see my mom. My mom however, keeps finding one excuse or another not to go.

but you said her mom said you should go away for moving the date......if your mum can go and negotiate, they will know its not just you shifting for cold feet. thats my own oooo........They will be expecting ur mum seff to talk with them over the shifting of dates

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by MichaelBukamzy(m): 6:53am On Dec 20, 2018
oga,this is enough warning sign to back off.you are still skeptical about marrying her.at this stage,the both families should have been close friends already. you wanna go with your inlaw's date against your mother's? she might have her own reasons too,she went to the extent of laying a curse must you go against her. also,as you are doing all you can for the wedding to hold,remember to observe wheather madam has shed off that bad character as she promised,trust me relationship is always time for mutual deception.when you settle down,she will dig out those attitudes been burried just to keep the courtship going. if i am you,i will back off if inlaw is not ready to go with my family's date,i cant ditch my mother because if unfortunately poo hits the fan,you fit clean am alone .

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by excessmon(m): 6:57am On Dec 20, 2018
I'm sure u are not more than 18 years old
IamD18:
Low self-esteem is damn bad!

What nonesense!

Will you die if you don't marry the lady?

The earlier you understand that no one is irreplaceable, the better for you.

Kindly part ways with her,Mr.


PART WAYS!!!!!

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by excessmon(m): 7:00am On Dec 20, 2018
What could have been his moms reasons? Parents Nd myopic mindsets.....his happiness is so important first.....a man that cant stick to decision ...is that one a man or mannequin for clothes display....bro take your decisions abegquote author=MichaelBukamzy post=74008007]oga,this is enough warning sign to back off.at this stage,should have been close friends already. you wanna go with your inlaw's date against your mother's? she might have her reason too,she went to extent of laying a curse must you go against her. also,as you are doing all you can for the wedding to hold,remember to observe wheather madam has shed of off that bad character as she promised,trust me relationship is always time for mutual deception.when you settle down,you will those attitudes been burried just to keep the courtship going. if i am you,i will back off if inlaw is not ready to go with my family's date,i cant ditch my mother because if unfortunately poo hit the fan,you fit clean am alone . [/quote]

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by excessmon(m): 7:01am On Dec 20, 2018
U made my morning with your answers....
ValCon888:
I doubt you're going to be ready in February.

From your writeup it seems you chose February as a last ditch attempt not to lose your girl.

Don't let anyone manipulate you and this includes your mother and your potential inlaws.

Pick a date that's convenient for you. Anybody that does not like it should take a hike.

One final thing. You have to man up.

The signs are there that external forces will control your marriage if and when you do get married. angry

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by excessmon(m): 7:04am On Dec 20, 2018
Bros let me start this way...how old are you?


Decisions are taken by men for women not the other way round.........

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by carzola(m): 7:05am On Dec 20, 2018
Walk away bro.

Listen to your mum

Bleep the girls family for even involving
In your relationship.

Las las any girl that listens to her
Family isn't ready to leave her family.

32 Likes

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ucheHapers(m): 7:40am On Dec 20, 2018
I totally agree with you. You've lost their respect, their daughter have none for you too. It's very difficult but its better. They can sense your desperation and feel they're doing you a bog big favour.

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Valerie47(f): 7:50am On Dec 20, 2018
Why is your mum telling you what to do?

You are the man, you should pick a date and tell them that final, act like a man, stop being a mummy's boy.

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by DanDeeBoss(m): 7:58am On Dec 20, 2018
Dogalmighty17:

Sometime in August this year, we had a disagreement because I noticed she was being disrespectful towards me. She is hardworking, cooks well and is very business oriented. But her sense of independence makes her struggle with submission to her man. I told her how uncomfortable I was with it and she's promised to make amends. She has but from time to time, her old self comes out
Forget about the date ish.....re-read this part I quoted... Check and see if you're ready to accommodate her....

17 Likes

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by prettyesther20: 8:08am On Dec 20, 2018
carzola:
Walk away bro.

Listen to your mum

Bleep the girls family for even involving
In your relationship.

Las las any girl that listens to her
Family isn't ready to leave her family.
And a man that listens to his family is ready to leave his family? U are too baised

28 Likes

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by prettyesther20: 8:12am On Dec 20, 2018
Dogalmighty17:


Her family has been very accommodating. They have been open to see my mom. My mom however, keeps finding one excuse or another not to go.
From this, I think your mom is the problem. She is not accommodating maybe u are a mummy's boy and she's trying to wrap her fingers around you. Oga man up biko



Why will a mother even having a thought of cursing his son just because of wedding date. Hmm your mom is trouble

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by 1StopRudeness: 8:16am On Dec 20, 2018
Valerie47:
Why is your mum telling you what to do?

You are the man, you should pick a date and tell them that final, act like a man, stop being a mummy's boy.

na the guy born himself abi? something you yourself cannot do, you are telling another person to do it.
can you just chose date and tell your own parents that's final without carrying your mum and dad along with their own arrangements. You think a wedding ceremony is only about two of you alone. he should kuku ma marry like some whites folks that dont even invite their parents since he doesnt want to be a mummy's boy.


na your kind woman no dey wan see mother in-law or her advice for her matrimonial home.

52 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by MartinCorridon: 8:29am On Dec 20, 2018
WUdec:
Sounds like you love her more than she loves you.


Secondly, any adult who lets his/her parent control his/her marriage or relationship is not mature enough to keep one.

Marriage should not come with pressure. Plus she sounds like she holds the remote.

You seem soft and easy to take advantage of. Nobody should ever force you to do what you don't want to.

Only you know the answers to your question.

You ain't ready for marriage yet, trust me on this one

Best advice here. The OP isnt ready.

His inlaws, his wife and his mother eventually sit down to draw up a sex timetable for him.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by gulfer: 9:00am On Dec 20, 2018
Dogalmighty17:


This is my dilemma. Should I go with my woman who has spent three years of her life with me or do I go with my mom?

I must also mention that my mom was informed of the initial date of the wedding over a year ago. But she foot dragged in her support for months until much later in the year that I now had to take issues into my own hands.
And how many years have you spent with your mother, that girl and her family will show you shege if you head-on to marry her..........My 2kobo angry angry angry angry

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by jefdr001: 9:08am On Dec 20, 2018
Your woman finds it hard to submit to you, so she may not be respecting your mumc, hence your mumc and your girl will never agree on anything at all, not even wedding dates. you sound like a man that tolerate disrespect from a woman but understand that your family never will and they mean well for you. Because they are not the ones in love they tend to see more clearly. Also it seems your fiance sees herself more as a blessing to you than you are to her. If this is true your relationship is one sided and this is not good. Be a man and let your fiance respect your momc. Prove to her that she is just a total stranger you are learning to relate with. That is called giving her her seat. Never spite your family without a good reason and this obviously is not one. Let your woman learn or you move. No matter how painful.

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