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Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages - Family - Nairaland

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Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by adetoru(f): 3:13pm On Aug 06, 2010
Is feminism anti-marriage?What happened to submitting to our husbands?I'm asking because I'm guilty.My husband is 6 yrs older but I always argue that I'm his partner not his subordinate.Are women like me wrong?
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by prittigrrr(f): 3:20pm On Aug 06, 2010
Submission does not mean subordinate. If you are submissive, you just recognize his authority. Any creation with two heads is a monster. There can only be one head. Support it well.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by harakiri(m): 4:28pm On Aug 06, 2010
It depends on what your definition of "gender equality" really is and as far as i am concerned, the events that have gone on in the past and present have nothing to do with "equal rights".Women have gotten virtually everything they aimed to achieve decades ago but they still aren't satisfied and they never will be until men cease to exist.Let the truth be told, feminism is all about man hating/anti-men groups.How many feminists are married? And how many married ones have happy homes and stay married? Feminism urges women to tackle every single decision made by men. . .now tell me, which sane man can put up with that? Look at the "happy" lives of some well known feminists e.g Oprah Winfrey, Woopie Goldberg and Ellen DeGeneres.Most feminists usually end up being lesbians due to the irrational man-hating tantrums.

1 Like

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by mutter(f): 5:31pm On Aug 06, 2010
@ Adetoru.
My husband is 6 years older than I too and a few months older than my first brother.
Now growing up my brother appeared so muuchhhhh older than I and I would never talk to him as if we were mates.
I also put that into consideration with my husband.
I mean not only is he my husband but also the age gap needs to be respected.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by zayhal(f): 9:37pm On Aug 06, 2010
mutter:

@ Adetoru.
My husband is 6 years older than I too and a few months older than my first brother.
Now growing up my brother appeared so muuchhhhh older than I and I would never talk to him as if we were mates.
I also put that into consideration with my husband.
I mean not only is he my husband but also the age gap needs to be respected.

well said.

All these talks about equality only ruin the home.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by honeric01(m): 9:49pm On Aug 06, 2010
In every establishment, there must be a head, when there are 2 heads, you end up having issues.

I once lived in a house where the landlord and the landlady always made different laws, the husband would say "don't wash under the staircase, wash close to the drainage, the wife ends up yelling at you, telling you never to wash near the drainage, rather wash under the staircase, in the end, i got confused and didn't know who to listen to.

Just picture what or how the house they both live in is going to look like, just imagine. sad sad sad
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by adetoru(f): 10:24pm On Aug 06, 2010
Thanks everyone,especially @mutter.I just want to be able to make my husband happy without raising questions within myself.I asked my mum the same question and she gave me a book "She Stoops To Conquer" and I'm buying that idea.

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Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Sissy3(f): 11:41pm On Aug 06, 2010
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Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by buzugee(m): 12:06am On Aug 07, 2010
you know what ? just ignore all this talk about submission and subordination. all of this is irrelevant when it comes to a happy union. you got to remember one thing, it is one thing to have a happy union based on respect and it is another thing to have a happy union based on camaraderie. the happy union based on respect will eventually get stifling. the one based on camaraderie will always prosper.
all i am saying is that look for a person whom you are both on each others level, you laugh together, you are like buddys, you joke together, you act silly together, you are best friends, you are like 2 peas in a pod, you feel extremely comfortable in each others company CUZ once you have that ? issues like 'submission' will never arise. you dont have to submit to any human being. if you feel like you have to submit to your husband, then you are in the wrong marriage.

5 Likes

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Chongaiman: 12:11am On Aug 07, 2010
One of my superiors with whom I shared house used to remind me again and again that there could not be 2 captains in 1 ship. Women have soft power. If applied properly, they could have their men dancing to their whims and caprices all the time.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Akosbaba(m): 12:24am On Aug 07, 2010
prittigrrr:

Submission does not mean subordinate. If you are submissive, you just recognize his authority. Any creation with two heads is a monster. There can only be one head. Support it well.
spot on
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Busybody2(f): 12:50am On Aug 07, 2010
buzugee:

you know what ? just ignore all this talk about submission and subordination. all of this is irrelevant when it comes to a happy union. you got to remember one thing, it is one thing to have a happy union based on respect and it is another thing to have a happy union based on camaraderie. the happy union based on respect will eventually get stifling. the one based on camaraderie will always prosper.
all i am saying is that look for a person whom you are both on each others level, you laugh together, you are like buddys, you joke together, you act silly together, you are best friends, you are like 2 peas in a pod, you feel extremely comfortable in each others company CUZ once you have that ? issues like 'submission' will never arise. you dont have to submit to any human being. if you feel like you have to submit to your husband, then you are in the wrong marriage.



My sentiments too. And if you genuinely love your other half, you should be bending over backwards in anticipating their needs and wants, and meeting it.

1 Like

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by uyakachi(m): 12:52am On Aug 07, 2010
yes it does as simpla as that
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Jewishgal(f): 1:03am On Aug 07, 2010
No at all. It just defending ur right, from those set of people called "MEN"

1 Like

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by uyakachi(m): 1:27am On Aug 07, 2010
and where will you later end up with that rght if there is misunderstanding ?
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Ndipe(m): 1:40am On Aug 07, 2010
"Submission does not mean subordinate. If you are submissive, you just recognize his authority. Any creation with two heads is a monster. There can only be one head. Support it well."

Applause @Prittigree for the above quote, Man is the head of the house!
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by DonJuan1(m): 1:43am On Aug 07, 2010
Our people say that the tongue and the teeth find a way to cohabit in peace. My mother used to say that women are drivers - from the back seat. Men by nature always like to be seen as being in charge. A direct challenge to that upsets the balance of nature. That is feminism. The submissive woman makes most of the decisions by she-power and makes the man see it as HIS own. By stroking her man's male ego, she rules him. That is potent ancient wisdom.  grin
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Nobody: 3:17am On Aug 07, 2010
What is with men and their ego problems anyway? And why must women stroke their silly egos for them to get along with them?

2 Likes

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by adim2(m): 3:59am On Aug 07, 2010
fellis:

What is with men and their ego problems anyway? And why must women stroke their silly egos for them to get along with them?

Then i think you need to read genesis 2 and 3 again, if you dare asked such a question. how will you feel if your junior should disrespect you at home? irrespective of gender? in as much as you feel men have ego, most marriages in the world records that at least 80-90% marriages the husband is older than the wife, with these singular fact, the woman should respect him now
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Sagamite(m): 4:19am On Aug 07, 2010
No gaddamn way I am having that perception of "equality" in marriage.

As a woman, you are entitled to your opinions and your independence but when it comes to joint decisions/activities/interactions, I take a leading position.

You have a say and are entitled to contribute fearlessly and fiercely as we are partners. And you will win some and make the decision.

But the crunch of the partnership is that, I am Senior Partner and Managing Director of the Joint Venture, you are Junior Partner and Director. You are also powerful but have some gaddamn respect for that setting.

Call me a caveman if you want, but I am not interested in the thrash called "modernity". I have tried the whole on the same level thing and I realise it does not work.

I am most likely going to be older than you, smarter than you and more rational than you. Have some respect.

Note: This does not necessarily have to apply to all relationships. It a guy is daft or useless, he should not even be a Manager in the relationship, talkless of Managing Director. The woman should be free to usurp power in such a situation.

1 Like

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by AloyEmeka8: 4:32am On Aug 07, 2010
prittigrrr:

Submission does not mean subordinate. If you are submissive, you just recognize his authority. Any creation with two heads is a monster. There can only be one head. Support it well.

Truth be told, oil and water don't mix. There can never be captains in a boat. No matter how you manage the submission thingy without being subordinate, you are bound to overstep your boundaries someday.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Sagamite(m): 4:56am On Aug 07, 2010
fellis:

What is with men and their ego problems anyway? And why must women stroke their silly egos for them to get along with them?

You can as well ask me: "What is with women and their shoes? Why mus they have multiple tens of pairs when men only have about 10?"

"What is with women and their emotions?"

If she can't stroke the ego, she better get the hell out.

As Dagrin said: Olobe lo loko (Na woman wey cook soup, own husband). If she does not do it, their are other chics happy to make you happy.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by akwaowoudo(m): 5:09am On Aug 07, 2010
No matter how thick or thin a woman can never be equal to her man. At times she can't even be equal to a man not her man. Right from immemorial women are regarded as weaker sex and so be it forever. My friend just shouted "Amen".
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Sagamite(m): 5:24am On Aug 07, 2010
akwaowoudo:

No matter how thick or thin a woman can never be equal to her man. At times she can't even be equal to a man not her man. Right from immemorial women are regarded as weaker sex and so be it forever. My friend just shouted "Amen".

Absolutely, utter, clunking junk!
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Oba234: 5:44am On Aug 07, 2010
lol, like somebody said, if you feel like you have to submit to him, then you are in the wrong marriage. If you really love somebody whether you are a man or woman, you will bend over backwards for them and this applied for both people in the relationship.

3 Likes

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by bawomolo(m): 7:02am On Aug 07, 2010
you know what ? just ignore all this talk about submission and subordination. all of this is irrelevant when it comes to a happy union. you got to remember one thing, it is one thing to have a happy union based on respect and it is another thing to have a happy union based on camaraderie.  the happy union based on respect will eventually get stifling. the one based on camaraderie will always prosper.
all i am saying is that look for a person whom you are both on each others level, you laugh together, you are like buddys, you joke together, you act silly together, you are best friends, you are like 2 peas in a pod, you feel extremely comfortable in each others company CUZ once you have that ? issues like 'submission' will never arise.  you dont have to submit to any human being. if you feel like you have to submit to your husband, then you are in the wrong marriage.

bows down for this post.   

I am most likely going to be older than you, smarter than you and more rational than you. Have some respect.

this seems like a condescending attitude to take into a marriage saga. take it easy o

1 Like

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Nobody: 7:30am On Aug 07, 2010
adim2:

Then i think you need to read genesis 2 and 3 again, if you dare asked such a question. how will you feel if your junior should disrespect you at home? irrespective of gender? in as much as you feel men have ego, most marriages in the world records that at least 80-90% marriages the husband is older than the wife, with these singular fact, the woman should respect him now
No, I am not going to read it.
And that analogy you gave does not make sense, stroking a person's ego is not the same as showing them respect. If one's husband has an ego problem, then she has no obligation rather than to refer him to a psychologist. She should not add stroking her husband's foolish ego to her already numerous marital responsibilities because she is not responsible for his low self-esteem issues. Lastly the fact that you are older than me does not mean I should respect. Respect is earned. You should give me a reason to respect you/show me you deserve respect before you expect it from me.

3 Likes

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Nobody: 7:46am On Aug 07, 2010
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Nobody: 7:54am On Aug 07, 2010
Sagamite:

You can as well ask me: "What is with women and their shoes? Why mus they have multiple tens of pairs when men only have about 10?"

"What is with women and their emotions?"

If she can't stroke the ego, she better get the hell out.

As Dagrin said: Olobe lo loko (Na woman wey cook soup, own husband).[b If she does not do it, their are other chics happy to make you happy.
I highly doubt that women are as obsessed with shoes as you make them sound. TeeVee says that they are obsessed with shoes does not make it so.
And I can tell from your posts that you have a condescending attitude towards females so I am going to present my argument to you in a way I think you'd understand best.
Look at this scenario: If you married and had a daughter, and trained her to the best of your ability untill she became a responsible young marriageable woman and suitors started to ask for her hand in marriage, assume that there were two suitors and you had to approve of one for your daughter, who would you prefer out of these two men:
1. The suitor who demands that your daughter makes it her responsibility to make him constantly feel like he is a big deal otherwise he would divorce her for other women who are willing to do it.
2. The suitor who believes that he and your daughter both have a responsibility of building each other up together in the marriage.
Please who would you approve of more sagamite? Thank you for answering.

3 Likes

Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by davidif: 8:02am On Aug 07, 2010
You can't have two heads in a marriage or its not going to work.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by honeric01(m): 8:07am On Aug 07, 2010
chaircover:

The idea is to respect, support  & embrace each others views, values, needs etc but to also recognize that he is the CEO and I am the assistant CEO of the same company working to the same mandate.

Two captains reading different maps & trying to steer the same ship will only result in the ship capsizing or getting lost at sea.

honeric01:

In every establishment, there must be a head, when there are 2 heads, you end up having issues.

I once lived in a house where the landlord and the landlady always made different laws, the husband would say "don't wash under the staircase, wash close to the drainage, the wife ends up yelling at you, telling you never to wash near the drainage, rather wash under the staircase, in the end, i got confused and didn't know who to listen to.

Just picture what or how the house they both live in is going to look like, just imagine. sad sad sad

Till today, i still do not know who rules that home, i still remember the whole thing, it wasn't once nor twice did the scenario repeat itself, there was even a day the man came down angrily yelling and asking me why i was washing there, i reminded him that his wife also acted this same way the other day asking me why i was not washing here, i kept wondering why the man had to always fight for power and control with his wife, ended up discovering that the woman wanted to be in control.

One more thing, in a house where 2 masters dwell, the rest inhabitants suffer the scorns of their disagreement/power tussle.

Kids that grow in such house/settings won't learn anything about respect rather they're going to learn how to yell, cuss, fight, slap, beat and even break their partners when they grow up.
Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by switosman(m): 8:14am On Aug 07, 2010
@buzugee
you know what ? just ignore all this talk about submission and subordination. all of this is irrelevant when it comes to a happy union. you got to remember one thing, it is one thing to have a happy union based on respect and it is another thing to have a happy union based on camaraderie.  the happy union based on respect will eventually get stifling. the one based on camaraderie will always prosper.
all i am saying is that look for a person whom you are both on each others level, you laugh together, you are like buddys, you joke together, you act silly together, you are best friends, you are like 2 peas in a pod, you feel extremely comfortable in each others company CUZ once you have that ? issues like 'submission' will never arise.  you dont have to submit to any human being. if you feel like you have to submit to your husband, then you are in the wrong marriage.


I want to believe u r either stoned or dazed. Are u wiser than God? Do u understand the product better than the maker? If the holy spirit speaking tro Paul says in 1peter3, woman sibmit to ur husband, u think its all bullshit. God knows the female pychology more than anyone. God know thats where the devil will try to hold unto women n distroy marriages. the devil did it with adam n eve it worked. today women cant submit & they are turning to gays. the ones that r married think the family is their work place & killing it. Everything about feminism is plain stupidity, its misplacement of priority, someone is not thinking.

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